


If Only

by Theonewhosawitall



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angry Grace Williams, Blow Jobs, Doris Warning, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Family is the most important thing, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Guilt, Hand Jobs, Happy Charlie Williams, Hurt Danny "Danno" Williams, Hurt Grace Williams, Hurt Steve McGarrett, In a painful kind of way, Jealous Steve McGarrett, Jealousy, Loneliness, Longing, M/M, Masturbation, Mcdanno endgame, Mild Smut, My First Smut, No broken promise, Not Actually Unrequited Love, OHANA MEANS FAMILY, Ohana, Protective Danny "Danno" Williams, Protective Siblings, Repairing Damaged Relationships, Self-Pity, Siblings, Slow Burn, Steve McGarrett Feels Guilty, Steve McGarrett Leaves, This one kind of hurts, drug mention tw, mcgarrett siblings, should be fun, siblings being siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:35:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 124,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28375536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theonewhosawitall/pseuds/Theonewhosawitall
Summary: After Steve, Rachel left Oahu while Grace was at college, leaving her feeling betrayed twice over. Danny is trying hard to get over his heartbreak by starting a new relationship. Things are starting to look like they might work out okay.Until Steve comes home.At least Charlie's happy to see him.
Relationships: Charles "Charlie" Williams Edwards & Danny "Danno" Williams, Danny "Danno" Williams & Grace Williams, Harry Langford/Danny "Danno" Williams, Steve McGarrett & Charles "Charlie" Williams Edwards, Steve McGarrett & Grace Williams, Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 155
Kudos: 275





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're just here to read where they bang, welcome. That's valid. Check the chapter index and I'll let you know.
> 
> I took the title from the title of a song by Bowling For Soup, but it was technically inspired by Johnny Cash's version of You Are My Sunshine.   
> You'll see why.

His mistake was in thinking of this house as home. On some level he always had. This was the place where he first met Steve and if it wasn't for him nowhere on this rock would feel homely. Not only that but this is where he and Grace spent some of those early weekends together, back when Danny couldn't afford better than a crappy cramped apartment building with damp on the walls and mould in the cracked ceiling tiles. This is where Grace learned to dive. Where he witnessed Charlie walking for the first time. Where he stayed when his house was being painted. Where he spent his weekends with his best friend. Where his team descended to celebrate victories and holidays. Where they cooked the turkey for Thanksgiving dinner. Where he knew all the best hiding spots for hide and seek. Where he had come to recover physically from his invasive surgery and mentally from Dui Mae's torture.

This _was_ home.

It just happened to belong to _Steve._

But Steve had been gone for over a year now. They had barely heard a word from him, beyond the odd postcard every few months. And this was a good place. There were three bedrooms, one for each kid and Danny. Exactly the right amount. Plus without Steve around Junior had felt uncomfortable here. He and Tani had moved into their own place. It felt like a natural move for their family to move in full time. Like hermits trading shells. Hell, they already had family portraits hanging on the walls!

Kamekona found an old swing set for the garden and Adam had set it up for them too. Mary came over a lot and brought Joan to play with Charlie. Sometimes she even stayed for dinner. She and the kids had planted flowers around the edges of the garden to brighten the place up. It might have worked if Eddie hadn't decided to dig them up afterwards. Instead they repainted the lalani. Danny and Mary agreed on a nice pale blue for the main parts, along the floor and the banisters. Charlie and Joan agreed on vibrant green for the pillars holding the roof up and the steps. Grace managed to talk them down into a nice pearl green so they didn’t confuse splinters with grass.

Every night Danny considered locking the doors, like he always had every night since he was old enough to do so. Every night he didn’t. Despite all that had happened here, the break ins, the fighting, the sieges, this place still felt safer than anywhere else Danny had ever been in his life. And the only night time visitors they ever had were friends. Each visit was announced by Eddie. He was security so good no money could buy.

Junior who came back because he needed something. Lou who had been kicked off of the sofa and out of the house entirely and still blamed it on his brother. Tani who had had a few too many and needed to sleep them off somewhere safe. Jerry who wanted a midnight snack. Adam who had either sensed Danny was feeling lonely without Steve, or was just projecting, but staying the night made both of them feel more settled. Noelani who had had the date from hell and just wanted a bit of comfort. Eric who was Eric. Even Harry once, who had come in shot with a bullet that had passed right through his arm and was very surprised to find Danny here because he thought this was Steve's place and he didn’t realise they were dating.

Now _that_ was a surprisingly hard and surprisingly rewarding conversation to have.

But days like today were special. Special because they were so un-special. Nothing that was going on was remotely noteworthy in the least. Grace was sitting in the den, writing notes on a piece of paper by hand because the internet was too much of a distraction. She had a wall sized book case behind her full of works that were neatly coated with a layer of dust. They looked good, all leather bound and intelligent, but with the internet at their fingertips they didn't need to read books like those anymore. If Grace's essay research hadn't kept slipping into Vine Compilation videos on YouTube, maybe they would have gone untouched for even longer.

Meanwhile Charlie was sitting on the floor, leaning back against the sofa as he stared wide eyed at the TV. It had been a hot day that was now settling into a warm, lazy evening as the sun painted the sky orange and pink. To combat the heat, Charlie had removed everything except his combat shorts. He was sucking on a go-gurt and had spilt some down his chest. Where it had dried there was a small pink circle of crust. He kept the TV low so Grace could concentrate, and through the quiet of the house the breeze carried on it the quiet rush of rolling waves across the beach.

Days like this made Danny forget that they had ever lived anywhere else. Even Jersey felt like a far distant memory. This was an easy and comfortable living. Almost like paradise.

And then he would stare just a little too long at that photo framed and hanging on the wall...

The one when they had gone fishing. Where the sky was so blue behind them that it was hard to tell where it stopped and the sea started. When he had been forced out of bed before dawn to get this boat. When they had to go to a secret area because it was special and the best tuna's came here. Where he caught a tuna for the first time, and it was just visible behind them. When Steve looked so stupidly proud of Danny for catching a fish that he had managed to convince Danny to throw up a shakra too, just this once...

The one where they looked so young and so happy... the one where they knew whatever happened they would always have each other's backs... the one that made him miss Steve so deeply that it felt like an open wound...

"Danno?"

Charlie's voice rang through Danny like a shockwave, pulling him back down to the ground and into the room.

"Yeah bud?"

"You look sad again."

"Do I?" Danny forced a smile as if he wasn't aching inside, "maybe I am a little."

"Do you miss mama too?" Charlie asked innocently.

Danny's eyes widened slightly. Rachel had vanished off the face of the earth. Well, not really. She had had a blazing row with Stan that a family down the road complained about and he had stormed out of the house, filed for divorce, and sold the house out from underneath her. She suddenly had to find herself either a job or a husband to qualify for a new Visa or get a green card. That wasn't very long after Steve had left. She had waited until Grace went to university and Charlie was staying with Danny, before vanishing back to England to apply for a new Visa. _That_ was nine months ago, and they had heard very little from her that suggested she was coming back any time soon.

If he was being honest, Danny had been enjoying full custody of his kids. Having Mary pick Charlie up most days now that he and Joan were in the same school made things easier too. Especially since he would take both of them on the weekends (unless he was working, then fun Uncle Adam would take them both, and he was both delighted and terrified every single time) so that Mary could go to work. He did not miss the arguing or the fuss or the snide bickering that came with Rachel. He did not miss Rachel.

Even so, he laid a hand on his son's shoulder and smiled, "sometimes buddy. But she loves you. That's all you need to remember."

Charlie just nodded. He didn't really understand where his mother had gone, and he definitely didn’t understand where his uncle Steve had gone, but Danno never let him forget that he was loved.

Grace, however, scoffed bitterly into her sleeve. She knew _exactly_ where her mother had gone, and part of her was convinced she wouldn't be back. She had waited until Grace went to university so that she didn't even get to say goodbye, even though she knew how hurt Grace was that Steve hadn't said goodbye either.

" _It would have been too hard_ " was the response she got when she complained. People, she realised, were selfish in that way. They liked to spare themselves hurt at the expense of hurting others. It was then and there that Grace had written Rachel off. She had been a good mother, but a bad person, and Grace was old enough now to know she didn't want to be anything like her.

"She's still your mother Grace. She still loves you," Danny said, calmly.

Grace raised her head to glare at Danny for a moment, but the soft look in his ease quelled the fire in her chest. It wasn't Rachel he was missing. Clinging to the idea that love could last long distances was all he had to comfort himself.

"Right. I know. I’m sorry," she muttered.

Danny ran a hand down her hair gently and she sighed. Her mother may or may not come back, she didn't know, but one person had kept a promise to her for her entire life. To him, she was the number one most important thing in the world, and number two didn’t even come close. At least she still had him.

"Hey Danno-" she began.

When he looked back at her, expectantly, she lost her nerve. No one ever says they love you and they're grateful for you, even when they think it. It feels unnatural. So she held it back.

"What's for dinner?"

"Macaroni and cheese," Danny said.

"Yum!" Charlie beamed.

Danny dragged Grace away from her school work for long enough to make mac and cheese with him. He had taken to making her help with the cooking more and more recently to ensure she knew how to make a good dinner for herself at university. If he hadn't she would have lived on take aways for as long as she had money and then she would text Kamekona for recipes and he would just send her care packages and bill them to Danny.

She did anyway. Where in New England was she going to get a decent shrimp poke if she didn't make it herself, and why would she google the recipe if she could just text an expert. He wouldn't just text it or email it though in case his rivals hacked it and stole it for themselves. Instead Kamekona had flown himself to New England to teach her how to cook it properly and to find a source of good shrimp for her to use. Only the best ingredients for the respect of Kamekona's ancestors. He also swore Grace to secrecy. The deal was that she would never tell anyone the recipe and if he was ever swamped and desperate for help, she would have to step into the truck and help the business.

It was a deal her friends were both frustrated and thrilled with every time she cooked for them and refused to tell him how to do it for themselves. She liked cooking for her friends. Food had become such an engrained love language in her that even setting mac and cheese in front of Charlie made her smile.

"Maybe tomorrow you can make Uncle Kamekona's poke for us," Danny said.

"Danno you know Uncle Kamekona would kill me if I made it here. Only he and Flippa are allowed to make it on Oahu," she stated.

Danny grumbled but said nothing. He couldn’t fault her loyalty. After all, Gracie was no rat. She was as fiercely loyal as he was. Always had been. But she was also just as easily hurt when her loyalty wasn't returned.

That was whirling through his mind as he tucked Charlie into bed tonight. As he wandered back down to the main room he tried to plot the conversation in his head. It was going to be tough. He wasn't entirely sure what to expect, but if he planned for the worst...

Danny paused at the bottom of the steps to watch Grace. She was quietly sat on the edge of the sofa, barefoot, with her knees curled up underneath her, with her phone in her hand as she watched some movie on the TV. She was so grown up these days. It always surprised him. He had missed so much time with her when she was young... Work ate so much of it and Rachel claimed so much more for herself. For _Stan..._ Now she had university to keep her away from him. His little girl wasn't so little any more. She was grown and she was hurting. As much as he couldn't stand the idea of her turning against him, he knew it would hurt more if he kept this from her any longer.

Danny took a deep breath, and sat down beside her. "What are we watching?"

"Spiderman Far From Home," she said.

"They remade Spiderman again? What was wrong with the other six?" Danny huffed.

Grace chuckled to herself. Her father was such an old man sometimes and she had grown to find it amusing.

"They weren't played by Tom Holland," she said.

"Who's Tom Holland?" Danny asked.

Grace waited for a moment longer, until he came back into frame and gestured at the TV.

 _"That's_ Tom Holland. The cute kid putting on an American accent as if he’s not from south London."

"But they're in London?"

"School trip."

"Oh..."

There was a pause as they settled again. Grace rested her head against her hand to watch comfortably. The more they spoke about London though, the more he thought of one woman.

"Missing your mother?" He asked.

Grace tensed. For a moment, Danny regretted asking. They didn't tend to talk about Rachel anymore and he definitely didn’t mean to upset her before confessing. Fortunately, for the moment at least, she could just shake it off.

"I'd rather move to London with Tom than her," she shrugged.

Danny's chest tightened at the idea of her leaving for England at all. New England was far enough, England was off the table. "I hope you never do. I don't want to lose someone else I care about to somewhere so grey and miserable."

Grace gave a small chuckle and promised, "Don’t worry Danno, I'm not going anywhere."

It was not as reassuring a statement as she thought. When Steve first left he was glad to have her so close. It was comforting to know his children were safe even if his partner may not have been. But that was a year ago now. He didn't want to hold her back or anchor her to this little island. He couldn't let her stay, but he didn’t want her to leave. Danny took another deep breath.

"Gracie?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you watch your brother for me tomorrow night please?"

"Tomorrow night?" She thought for a moment before nodding, "Yeah, sure. Why?"

"I uh... I have plans," Danny said.

He licked his lips cautiously as she snorted. Her eyes never left her phone so she didn’t notice.

"Plans? With who, aunt Mary or Five-O?" She teased.

Danny gulped. "Uh, neither..."

Now she looked up. Just her eyes at first. They flicked onto him, searching for any signs of suspicious behaviour. Danny stared hard at the TV, but he couldn't stop himself from licking his lips again. It fell into place instantly for Grace and she grabbed the remote to pause the TV. Danny's heart thumped hard. It was now or never. No going back.

"Danno..." her voice was curious and suspicious and excited, "do you have a date tomorrow night?"

Danny sunk a little deeper into his seat. "I... I might."

Grace gasped in delight and sat up eagerly. Her phone lay forgotten on the arm of the chair as her entire attention was on him for once in a blue moon. He would have been delighted if his stomach wasn’t knotted with nerves.

"That's fantastic! With who?! what's she like, what's her name, where did you meet, where are you taking her, ooh, what are you going to wear?!"

Grace grabbed onto his arm to wriggle it playfully as if it would shake some answers out of him. Danny shifted slightly, but he didn't look anywhere near as thrilled as she did.

"You're really okay with this? Because I can cancel-" he began.

"Danno no!" Grace interrupted firmly. "In the last ten years you've had two girlfriends and both of them were lovely. Before that was mom. You have good taste, and if they make you happy, of course I'm okay with this. Where did you meet her, what’s her name?"

Danny felt a bit sick. The knot in the pit of his stomach felt tighter than ever as he glanced at Grace. Her beautiful brown eyes were shining with innocence. He couldn’t hold her gaze. Too much was riding on this. It made his heart ache.

"Um... Harry..."

"Harri? Like Harriet? She sounds nice!"

"No, um... Like Harold..."

"Harold? That's an odd name."

She tilted her head to the side as she considered it. _Harold._ It sounded familiar. She didn't know anyone called Harold that she was aware of, but someone she had been told about recently definitely was.

Danny took her curious look as blissful ignorance and felt his cheeks flush pink as he stared down at the coffee table.

"Not for a man, monkey..." he muttered.

Grace wrinkled her nose. "I disagree. Who calls a kid Harold? It's so old. It's got _old_ in it! Wait- wasn't the frog king in Shrek called Harold?"

It was a genuine question. One that took Danny by surprise. He looked up at her in mild alarm as she stared at him, waiting for an answer. It took him a moment to recalibrate.

"Monkey, d- do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?" He asked uncertainly.

"Yeah the king was _definitely_ Harold. Is that why he goes by Harry? So people don’t think of Shrek when they hear his name?" She smirked.

Danny had no idea what to make of her reaction in the slightest. He imagined more questions. More relevant questions anyway. And more confusion. Maybe even anger. But Grace didn't seem to notice the confession he was trying to make, which made it slightly more painful to push for. He sat up, turning to face her, and took her hands in his gently.

"Grace. I'm serious. Please, just for a minute, please listen. I know it might come as a bit of a shock to you since I've only ever dated women before now-"

An amused whisper of a smile kept flickering on Grace's face as she tried her best to hold it in. On the third clench of her jaw, Danny couldn't stop himself from questioning it.

"What?"

"Oh, sorry, no, go on. You were saying that it could be a shock to me that you’re bisexual."

Danny straightened his back and pulled away in shock at her platitude. It had taken him so long to even consider the term, let alone except it as his label, and here she was, his _daughter_ of all people, saying it like she'd known for years. Like it was nothing. Just part of life. In a way it was now but how she had put it all together and never mentioned it he would never know or understand. It honestly knocked him sideways.

"I - I didn't say - how did-"

"Are you kidding Danno? I do have eyes! You and Uncle Steve weren't subtle," she laughed.

Danny's heart wrenched. "Me - me and Uncle S- what do you mean?"

Her smile fell as she realised he was serious. "Weren't you two seeing each other? I mean you were obviously in love. Isn't that why you haven't had a date since Melissa? Because of Uncle Steve?"

Danny's face twisted. He opened his mouth to reply, but it formed a small circle as he realised he had no words. He didn’t even have a breath left in him to respond with. So many people had assumed he and Steve were more than just partners, and Danny had secretly always hoped for more. He always assumed that's what the other people were picking up on. But he never thought _Grace_ was one of them. The idea that he hadn't dated anyone since Melissa because of Steve never occurred to him. It made sense though. Too much sense. More sense than a detective should have been able to miss. But a detectives _daughter_ has missed none of them. She also knew her father well enough to recognize alarm in his eyes when she saw it.

"Oh... You didn't realise, did you? That's probably not a good thing to put into your head before a date. I'm going to be quiet now," she said, sheepishly. She squeezed his hand to try and pull him away from any spiralling thoughts by asking, "Tell me about Harry, is he nice? Is he handsome? How did you meet?"

Danny's mind was whirling now. It all seemed to be clicking into place. Of course he'd always known he was in love with Steve. Of course he was. Why else would he have gone along with his increasingly insane plans? And it made it blindly obvious now why it hurt so much when he left. More than Kono. More than Chin. He missed them, yes, but they were his friends and he was happy they were happy. Losing Steve felt like losing an arm. Losing his heart.

"I... uh... Harry..."

Right. Harry. Harry had come to him one night, bleeding with a bullet in his arm. He had just been looking for medical help after Lady Helen's husband shot him. Lady Sophie had just accused them both of lying to her for her entire life, and proved it with DNA results, and even though the betrayal was almost twenty years old the hurt was new. The anger was new. Danny just so happened to have experience with anger and betrayal and parenting.

It happened so easily. Just like teaching Rachel to drive. Coaching turned to talking and talking turned to flirting and flirting turned into a date. It had been a surprise for Danny, but Harry seemed to be thrilled. He had quietly hoped from the day they first met that maybe something like this would happen. He had thought McGarrett would be an obstacle but he had removed himself from the situation. It was all coming together perfectly for him. 

And with Harry's easy going smile entering his mind and calming his nerves slightly, Danny's mind drifted away from Steve.

"I met him when Steve beat him in a fight a long time ago now. We were friends for a while. He's English. He's... he used to be a spy," Danny said.

Grace gasped in delight, "Awesome!"

Danny chuckled softly, "He is pretty awesome... and..."

"Hot?" Grace asked eagerly.

Danny's cheeks flushed. In all honesty he hadn't stopped thinking about Harry walking shirtless and dripping wet from the shallows of the sea for days after he saw it. But that was not the kind of thing he was going to admit. Especially not to her.

"I don’t want to talk to my daughter about hot guys anymore," he grumbled.

Grace grinned, "So he is hot?"

Danny's cheeks flushed red. Grace grinned harder. It was so weird to see him getting all shy. She rather liked it. It meant he was embarrassed. Vulnerable. That he really liked this guy. Even if he did cross his arms sulkily at the idea of gushing like a school girl over him.

"He has a daughter about your age. She doesn't - she didn't know until recently. He was asking me for advice on how to be a parent and... one thing lead to another and we're going to dinner tomorrow," he explained.

"But not at Kamekona's Family Friendly Italian Bistro right?" Grace asked cautiously.

Danny went quiet as he tried to decide what the right answer was. The truth was clearly wrong but he couldn’t lie to her. Could he?

Grace gasped as she read his silence and hit his arm in protest and cried, _"Danno!_ No one wants to kiss the guy with a yard of spaghetti hanging out of his mouth! Especially the way you have it with all that cheese!"

"Shh you'll wake up Charlie!" Danny hushed.

"It's not romantic Danno! It's not at all attractive-" She argued.

"We're done talking about this!" Danny declared.

The blush on his cheek was so hot that he couldn’t stand it anymore and he had to hurry away to the kitchen.

"But we haven't even gotten to your wardrobe yet!" She complained.

"Done!"

"Wait!"

_"Done!"_

...

Danny picked at his lasagna thoughtfully. He had been scared off of Bolognese by Grace's voice rattling in his head. She was always there, front and centre to keep him in line. Right down to the wardrobe in the end. Charlie was downstairs watching Air Crash Investigations and pretending to be an airplane while no one was there to stop him, and Grace was sat cross legged on Danny's mattress helping him pick a shirt and tie. Or, more accurately, convincing him why every tie he owned was inappropriate for a date and that he should go without one. ("Although if you really insist on going to Kamekona's you might as well go in one of Uncle Chin's aloha shirts and flip flops like a tourist!")

Harry looked as dashing as ever though. In that tailor fit white shirt with just enough buttons undone to look classy but still raise probing thoughts, and that sleek grey jacket with blue cuffs that shouldn't work together but somehow did, and that shining silver watch that looked more expensive than Danny's car he looked amazing. Classy but casual. But it was the spy training that sent confidence oozing out of him that really clenched the deal. He was so handsome that Danny couldn’t fully believe that he was interested in him. Danny was attractive, he knew that, but Harry was more than that. He dated supermodels and people who were in line for the throne of England and probably other places too. He was _hot_ and he was dating _Danny._

Danny tried hard to pretend he wasn't sweating bullets under his jacket.

"Can I ask you a question?" He asked cautiously.

Harry swirled his wine and gave a wry smile, "You just did."

"I see you've been working on your dad jokes," Danny forced a smile back.

Harry's smile became more genuine which only made him more attractive and made Danny's insides heave.

"Oh yes the reactions have been deeply amusing every time, far more rewarding than the actual pun, although I confess I'm beginning to enjoy them," he set his wine down and shifted a little closer to Danny. "Your question?"

It had been nagging at him all night. He only said it to make a point to Grace but once he realised he didn’t know the real answer he couldn’t let it go.

"What is Harry short for?" Danny asked.

"Because he has little legs," Harry stated.

It took a second for it to click in Danny's mind. Nerves had slowed him. Once it did he rolled his eyes so hard that Harry laughed.

"See? A beautiful reaction. Between that and some more of this beautiful Shiraz maybe you'll start to relax. You're wound tighter than a clock dear boy, you need to loosen up."

Harry picked up the bottle that sat between them and twisted off the lid.

"Sorry. This is... this is my first official date with a man and I guess I'm a little nervous," Danny admitted.

By a little nervous he meant he was almost sweating through his shirt. Harry could tell just by looking in one full sweep of his body. A spy could read body language with ease and usually, so could a detective. He filled Danny's glass almost to the brim.

"Harry is short for Henry. After my grandfather," he explained calmly.

Danny sat up a little, "Really? Y’know Steve-"

Danny stopped himself. His chest tightened. He hadn't meant to do that. Mentioning Steve on a date with someone else was never a good thing. Floodgates, once opened, were hard to shut. Harry noted the tension. He set the wine down between them again.

"Ah. So it's him that's putting you on edge. And here I thought it was me."

Danny bowed his head slightly, "I... I didn't mean to mention him."

"It's quite alright. Steve was also named after his grandfather, Steven McGarrett Senior, who died in the attack on pearl harbour. It's a simple leap. Hardly even a leap. Let's call it a step," Harry assured him.

Danny shook his head apologetically, "we shouldn’t... I don't want to talk about him tonight."

Harry's eyebrow rose. "Any particular reason why?"

Danny said nothing. He wasn’t sure what to say. How are you supposed to tell someone on your first date that you’ve just realised you’ve been in love with your best friend for years?

Harry leaned back in his chair. "It's easier to avoid a topic if we both know why we're avoiding it."

Danny gulped. Harry was right, of course. There was no point trying to start a relationship with a lie, even just one by omission. But admitting it was harder than he expected and he couldn't find a way to do so while still reassuring Harry that it didn’t matter because he hadn’t even heard from Steve in seven months so he was well and truly out of the picture...

"My daughter..." Danny began, uncertainly.

There was a small pause so Harry quietly nudged him along by saying, "Grace."

"Yes, Grace..." Danny nodded. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "She uh... she wasn't surprised when I told her I was going on a date with you. She thought Steve and I were dating. She was more surprised that your name was Harold."

Harry's eyebrows rose again. "Well we're both surprised by that."

Danny's cheeks flushed pink again. He was really beginning to hate blushing. It made him feel like a school kid every time and trying to hide it only made things worse.

"When I said Harry she thought it was Harri with an I. Like Harriet. I panicked when I realised I didn't know what it was short for and said Harold," he admitted.

"Ah. An easy mistake to make and one easily corrected. And now we both know why we aren't to mention Steve shall we talk about other things?" Harry asked calmly.

It was oddly reassuring to him that Harry seemed unphased by talking about Steve. Even if Danny was. Harry was a grown up. A sophisticated adult. _Mature._ He understood that people had pasts and that they bubbled up even when they weren't wanted. And he was so calm about it that it relaxed Danny's tense shoulders.

"Like what?" Danny asked.

"Anything at all dear boy. Ask me anything you like," Harry declared.

Danny reached for his glass of wine as he glanced up at Harry. His eyes flickered with a devilish sparkle as he pondered the challenge.

 _"Anything?"_ He repeated.

Harry's heart beat a little faster at the way the word curved in Danny's tone. The blonde could send a shiver right down his spine with just one word. It was intoxicating.

"Anything at all. But I warn you if you ask me anything about my work I may have to shoot you for it," he winked.

Danny gave a chuckle as he sipped his wine, "Good to know."

Harry leaned forward, resting his elbows across the table as though there wasn’t a large plate of mushroom risotto in front of him. Usually he would have expected a date in a slightly more upmarket place than this. One where it was safe to have candles on the tables because children weren’t usually there to try eating or choking on them. Perhaps even one where there wasn't a half naked marble statue in a mini grass hula skirt and a tiny cardboard coconut bra on display by the hostesses table. But Danny seemed so much more at home here under the red brick arches that Harry settled on staying here for his sake. Even if they did heap the risotto onto the plate like it was for three men, not one.

With that in mind, he did his best to not let the family friendly atmosphere dampen his snakish charm.

"What do you dare ask?" Harry purred.

Danny's mind ran wild with responses, but tonight was too early to risk them. He didn’t think he could hold his nerve for long enough to follow through on whatever conversation followed.

"Rachel, my ex wife, she was British too. Sometimes her relatives would drop by to stay with us for a while and they would say these insane things. Some of them stick with you y’know? So I guess what I want to know is... what's a chav?"

Harry drew in a sharp breath and the corners of his mouth curved up like he was about to make a joke, but he stopped himself. Whatever the punchline had been, you probably had understand more of British culture than Harry assumed Danny did to understand. Instead he just smiled. As he explained different sections of the British class system to Danny and slang that accompanied them, the topic of Steve was forgotten for the rest of the night.

Danny walked along the street with his hands thrust into his pockets, laughing at whatever story Harry was regaling him with now. The laughter eased as they reached the foot of his lalani.

"You really didn’t have to walk me home Harry," Danny smiled.

"Nonsense, what kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t ensure your safe passage?" Harry shrugged.

Danny smiled and bit his lip as he glanced at the door, "See now you've put me in an awkward position because now I should prove that I'm also a gentleman, but then you'll insist on walking me home again and we'll get trapped in some kind of groundhog day walking back and forth."

Harry gave a dark chuckle that came from somewhere deep in his chest as his gaze flickered between Danny's eyes and his now redder lips.

"I assure you Daniel, if and when I get you back to my penthouse suite, I will be making you breakfast the following morning," he said.

Danny snorted, _"You_ will?"

"Well the hotel staff will, but I'll be the one that orders it," Harry corrected.

Danny laughed again and Harry's smile grew. He liked that laugh. As tipsy as it was it was real. Harry wasn't used to real.

"I'd ask if you're usually this bold, but I'm pretty sure I know the answer," Danny teased.

"Actually..."

Harry bit his lip. For the first time all night he actually managed to look shy. Danny blinked in surprised to see it. The fact that someone so sure of themselves had a vulnerable side was always a surprise to him.

"I admit I'm holding back slightly. I... I don’t have many friends Danny, it's one of the down sides of my work, trusting people becomes difficult. And you're a good friend. Honestly I don’t want to cross a line that we can't come back from this early."

"You're scared?" Danny repeated, surprised.

Harry winced slightly, "I wouldn't say that..."

Danny wasn't going to let him off that easy. "Are you?"

"Yes, but I wouldn't _say_ it."

"That's a relief. I thought it was just me!"

Harry gave a laugh of his own and shook his head. They were grown men. They had been through this a thousand times before. And yet they were as nervous around each other as teenagers testing the waters for the first time. Harry cleared his throat and dared to take a step forward.

"Well this is it then. Is it bold of me to ask when you're free again next?" He asked.

"Um, I'm not sure. Kids, y’know? But uh..." Danny glanced up at the house again. He licked his lips. He didn't want to go in alone, but Harry was right. It was too early to cross that line. "I'll call you."

Harry smiled. "I look forward to it. Goodnight.”

Danny tensed as Harry gently laid a hand on his arm and moved to press a soft kiss onto his cheek. His insides turned to gravy. Danny had never been kissed by a man before, but the affects were just the same. A rosy blush bloomed out from the spot that Harry had kissed him and he gave a sheepish smile.

"Goodnight."

Harry chuckled to himself. As he turned to walk away he bit his bottom lip again. From day one he had felt a strange attraction to Danny. Now it was finally beginning to feel like something interesting was about to happen. One little kiss today made him long for a longer one tomorrow, but he had to pace himself. It was obvious that Danny's loyalties were still elsewhere. This ship was just much under his control. 

Danny stumbled in through the front door, giggling happily to himself. He hadn't been on a date in years and this one was better than some of the ones he could remember. Of course back then he hadn't come home to his daughter sitting up on the sofa, expectantly.

"What are you doing up?" He asked, surprised.

Grace gestured to the clock on the wall, "You're ten minutes early."

"For what?"

"Curfew."

Danny's mouth opened to response, but instead it curled at the edges and he gave a fond laugh. That sounded promising. He staggered closer to lean on the back of the sofa and run a hand down her hair. She could smell the wine from here.

"Date go well?" Grace teased.

"It was fine," Danny grinned.

"He didn’t want to come in for a coffee then?" She teased.

He blushed all over again. "Alright, bed mrs. Now."

"Alright, alright. But it's nice to see you looking happy for a change," she smiled.

He smiled back and bent down to plant a kiss into her hair. "Mahalo monkey. Go on, up to bed."

Grace chuckled to herself as she obeyed. She paused on the stairs and turned back to face him. "Just so you know I'm free on Friday night. For, babysitting, or y’know, whatever."

Danny grinned. _"Bed."_ She giggled again and Danny's smile grew. She didn't giggle enough these days. "I love you y'know."

"I love you too," she grinned.

With that she hurried off to bed. Danny took a moment, swaying, to consider if it was too soon to text Harry and let him know he would be free on Friday. It was, he decided. After all Harry wouldn't even be back to his hotel yet. So Danny waited until he had staggered upstairs, brushed his teeth, changed into his pyjamas, and collapsed onto the bed to text him.

 _this time I pick the restaurant ;_ )

Oh they were too old and his thumbs were too goofy for emoji’s, but Harry could get away with it. Harry could get away with anything. Danny buried his head into his pillow to try and smother his drunken smile. It had been a long time since he felt this good.

...

Barking woke him up with a start. Danny waited. When Eddie started barking it usually took a few seconds for him to calm down as the intruder came over to fuss him. Tonight though, Eddie didn't stop. He was barking so loudly and so endlessly that it struck fear into Danny. He stumbled out onto the hallway to find Grace holding Charlie back at the top of the stairs. Both were peering down over the banister to try and see who was there. Now that he wasn't about to allow.

In a low tone Danny ordered, "You two go into my room and wait, got it?"

"But Danno-" Charlie began.

"No. It's not safe. Into my room and wait," Danny ordered.

Grace didn't argue. She had been swept up into far too many mistakes to risk adding another to the list. She steered Charlie out of the room by his shoulders and into Danny's room. Her eyes met Danny's for a second as she hesitated in the doorframe. They both knew how quickly home invasions could go wrong. If he wasn't careful...

"It's okay monkey. You know what to do if you hear anything," he assured her.

Grace gulped but nodded. She shut the door between them for safety, and latched on tight to her phone. Charlie stared at her, wide eyed and innocent.

"It's okay, right Gracie? Because Danno's a cop right? So he'll arrest them and we'll be okay?" He said.

Grace gulped. She forced a smile and nodded. "Course. But why don’t we play hide and seek to take our minds off it? You hide, I'll seek."

Danny hated this. He hated going into dangerous situations with a shoot proof vest and a gun of his own and a whole team to back him up. Right now he only had Eddie. He could still hear the dog switching between whining and barking and his claws scattering against the floor. That was a good sign. He wasn't growling and he hadn't been hurt. Maybe the robbers had some humanity.

Danny crept down to the gun safe and tapped in the code quietly. It was Mary's birthday. It had been Steve's safe before it was theirs and his birthday was too obvious. With a gun in his hand, he felt better prepared for this fight, even if he was naked from the waist up and still a little tipsy.

There was a light on in the kitchen. Danny crept through the darkness, avoiding the creaky floorboards to reach the doorway. He stayed close to the wall. It was a good barrier if they had a weapon. But as he crept slowly closer to the kitchen, he thought he could recognise the voice whispering to his dog.

His heart was in his throat as he raised his gun and pounced into view. Eddie flipped from where he was laying on his back to standing on all four paws when Danny entered. He was bolt up and alert and ready to tackle the danger. He had no idea that the perceived danger was the familiar face kneeling over him in the kitchen light. He hadn’t seen the man in a long, long time, but he had never been any danger before.

Danny's stomach hit the floor.

_"Steve?!"_


	2. Chapter 2

"Danny? What are you - I didn't think - uh, hi!"

No one was supposed to be here. Steve was going to call them one by one tomorrow to let them know he was home. Then he could control things easier. Face them easier. He didn't expect anyone to be _here_ at all. The fact that the door was unlocked had been unsettling, and then Eddie barking had delighted him. Fussing over Eddie felt like reclaiming everything he had missed. The dog still loved him and immediately wanted all of the attention in the world because he was home. Finally. He was back.

Eddie was always happy when people came back, because sometimes they didn't...

Even while scratching Eddie's belly and feeling his tail smack against his thigh, Steve hadn't quiet realised that _people_ were here. If he had, he would have assumed it was Junior. Maybe Mary. Both were entirely entitled to think of this place as theirs, given how long they had lived there.

But he hadn't expected to come face to face with Danny.

He hadn't expected Danny to be half naked.

He hadn't expected a gun.

None of this had entered his mind or his plan in the slightest. Now that he was facing it down however, it was blindingly obvious that Danny didn't expect any of this either. Steve really should have called ahead, but he didn’t know what to say and besides, his house was supposed to be empty.

"What - what - what are you doing here?" Danny stammered.

He lowered the gun away from his chest, but it was still aimed at him. Steve took that as the adrenaline, not a threat. He shouldn’t have. He rose to his feet.

"Um, I live here. I think. What are you-"

There was a sound of clattering footsteps as little feet raced to the top of the stairs and froze. Behind him, Grace grabbed his arm, ready to drag him back to safety. Her stomach dropped when she saw a familiar face peer round the corner.

"Uncle Steve?"

"Uncle Steve?!"

"Hi kids!"

There was no hesitance from Charlie. Innocence of youth closed his open wounds the moment he spotted his uncle. He was bouncing as excitedly as Eddie and if Grace hadn't been clenching onto his shoulders he would have shot off like a rocket. Grace was just staring. Her fingers clawed into Charlie to keep him close. She couldn't let him go. She wouldn’t. Charlie, however, had been taught by his family how to escape if someone, anyone, managed to capture him. He dropped his weight dead which left her claw marks in his shoulders. The instant he hit the floor he bounced to his feet and darted to Steve. Grace gasped in alarm and tried to reach out to stop him, but she couldn't. She wasn’t fast enough.

" _Uncle Steve_!"

Charlie threw his whole body weight against Steve's stomach as he raised his arms. Steve stumbled backwards as he did, but he laughed. Charlie instantly attempted to climb the man. Steve scooped him up and hugged him so tight that he laughed too.

"Hi Charlie! Wow, haven't you grown?!" Steve beamed.

"Hi Uncle Steve! I missed you so much!" Charlie beamed. He wrapped his arms around Steve's neck tightly until he choked and then he fell back enough to beam at him face to face, and babbled, "Did you see mom while you were gone because she’s gone too! I miss her too sometimes but it's okay, because you’re home now so now we can be a family again! Isnt that great?! Welcome home!"

That was a lot of information to process in a few seconds. Beyond that Grace and Danny were staring at him like a ghost that had come back just to annoy them. Steve shifted Charlie around his waist to sit on his hip.

"Uh, yeah, maybe. Um... what are you lot doing here?" Steve asked.

Danny opened his mouth to speak but Grace got there first.

"We live here. What are _you_ doing here? I thought _you_ left for good!" She snarled.

Steve's jaw dropped. He looked up at her, dumbstruck. Grace had never once said a bad word about anyone in front of him. Not one that wasn't following a compliment to soften it anyway. He glanced at Danny for clarification. Danny clenched his jaw. Steve's chest tightened. He should have expected that. If it was a choice with him and - no if it was a choice between _anyone_ and Grace, Danny sided with Grace. Steve cleared his throat.

"Nice to see you too Gracie," he said.

Grace glared at him, "Don't call me that."

Danny looked up at her, surprised but not shocked. He understood where she was coming from, he felt the same animosity, but it wrestled with fear and affection and utter bafflement too deeply for him to voice it. Grace clenched her fists. She looked like she had more to say. Steve steeled himself. But she said nothing. She just turned on her heels and ran for the safety of her bedroom. They heard the door slam from down here.

The silence that followed was mildly awkward. Steve looked to Danny for reassurance again. Danny wouldn't look back. He couldn't. He shut his gun away in the safe again. He wasn't sure he could trust himself with it in his hand much longer.

"Is she okay?" Steve asked.

Danny turned back to stare at him. Steve searched his face for any sign that he was happy to see him. That coming home wasn't a mistake. But Danny just looked tired. He stepped forward to peel Charlie away from him. Charlie was resistant to go and Steve didn’t want to let him but he didn't fight it much. Danny set him back on the floor.

"Back to bed Charlie," he ordered.

"But Danno-"

_"Bed."_

_"Ohhh!"_ Charlie groaned in protest.

Steve laid a hand on his head. "Listen to Danno Charlie. Go on, I'll um, I'll see you in the morning I guess."

"Promise?" Charlie asked hopefully.

Steve glanced up at Danny again. Danny wouldn't meet his eye. Steve swallowed. By his reaction he wasn't sure he'd be allowed to come back tomorrow, let alone sleep here tonight. But Charlie's eyes were round disks eager for hope and he couldn’t find it in him to disappoint the kid. He ran a hand through Charlie's hair, messing it up affectionately.

"Sweet dreams."

Danny said nothing as Charlie ran past them. In his mind the quicker he went to bed the quicker it would be morning and he could spend even more time with his favourite uncle. It was such a happy stance to take. Danny envied him for it. Steve let out a long sigh. Now that the kids were gone it was even more obvious that Danny was avoiding looking at him.

"So, I think we have some things to talk about," Steve said.

He was trying to coax a response from his friend. The man hadn't said two words to him the entire time they had been standing there. All he wanted was a hug. A welcome home. Some proof that he was still welcome there. Still wanted. But Danny just looked down at his feet and folded his arms across his chest to hide how exposed he felt.

"You can stay tonight. On the couch. Given that you promised Charlie you'll see him in the morning anyway you might as well stay," Danny said, quietly.

Steve's chest heaved. Alright it wasn’t the welcome home party he had been hoping for, but he could stay. That was better than nothing. Because _Charlie_ still _wanted_ him there. That was a lot better than nothing.

They said nothing as Steve dropped his bag on the floor by the end of the sofa. It sounded a lot heavier than it looked. Almost as if it were stuffed with clothes and items that he needed now. Things that he had brought back to keep. To bring home for good...

Their hands brushed as Danny held out a blanket for him. As they did Danny gasped to himself and looked up. He held Steve's gaze for a tense second as Steve gave him a weak smile. Then Danny felt his cheeks burn again and he snatched his hand back. He turned to hurry away but Steve's hand landed on his shoulder. Danny’s stomach twisted. It was such a simple touch, but on his bare skin, after everything he'd just realised...

"It's good to see you Danny... I... I missed you..." Steve said softly.

Danny scowled. _If you missed me you could have called. You could have written. You could have visited earlier. If you missed me, why did you leave? Why did you have to come back right when I was starting to be happy without you?_ Danny shook his head and shoved Steve's hand off of him.

All he could muster up to say before heading for the stairs was a simple, "Goodnight."

Danny left Steve alone at the bottom of the stairs and refused to look back. He dropped down onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling as his world went spinning around them.

This was going to be a problem.

...

Charlie flew down the stairs in the morning like it was Christmas day. Steve had barely managed to get to sleep four hours before Charlie leapt onto his chest and woke him up. Steve squirmed under his weight, but it was a pleasant surprise to wake up to.

"I knew it wasn't a dream, I knew you were really home!" He beamed.

The way he dropped his weight down to wrap his arms around Steve's neck made Steve feel that he was possibly lying. That some part of him had been afraid that it was all a dream. This joyful smile of his was far too relieved.

"Hey, isn't Danno up yet?" Steve stifled a yawn.

Charlie shook his head. He wasn't even remotely tired. Not even when Steve wrapped his arms around him like a teddy bear to hold him close and shut his own eyes again.

"What time is it? When does school start?" Steve asked.

"Two hours," Charlie said.

"Shall we have a nap for an hour?"

 _"Nooooo,_ get up! Let's play!"

"Okay, okay. Shall we make breakfast first, so Danno and Gracie have something nice to wake up to?"

"Yeah!"

Steve groaned to have to get up earlier than he wanted to but he didn’t fight it. He had spent the last year in endless comfortable hotel beds, waking up relaxed and prepared, in unfamiliar places, all by himself. Alone. This was one day, just one, where he woke up on an uncomfortable sofa, somewhere he knew, somewhere he loved, with someone he loved. And he was so much happier for it.

Grace came downstairs after the fire alarm went off. Danny would have too if he hadn’t buried himself under his covers to fend off his hangover. She found Steve whipping a tea towel around his head to try and stop the alarms while Charlie threw open the doors and windows. Grace folded her arms at the sight of him. Her chest was burning with a fireball of anger. It ached in her bones, but she couldn't fight it.

"Still here are you? I didn't know you had staying power," she spat.

Steve winced at her tone but forced a bright smile anyway, "Good morning Grace. I made breakfast."

Grace nudged the frying pan, "Made it, or cremated it?"

"No, I only burnt this one. Here Eddie!"

Even the dog turned his nose up at the black pancake. It looked more like a Frisbee. But it was left in his bowel for him to eat later, because he would eventually. Grace huffed.

"Pancakes aren't a healthy breakfast. They're full of fat. The last thing anyone in this house needs is high blood pressure," she snipped.

Steve's shoulders sagged. Pancakes were her favourite. Buttery blueberry pancakes and honey. She could eat a dozen in one sitting when she was younger. But times had changed, and he hadn’t been there to change with them.

"Oh. Right. That's okay, there's also-"

"You ready for school Chickadee?" Grace interrupted.

Charlie stared up at her in horror. He didn't want to go to school today, and if he was going to go with anyone, "I want Uncle Steve to take me!"

Grace shook her head. "I'm sure Steve's far too busy to take his friends child to school Charlie."

"Actually I-" Steve began.

Grace ignored him. "Have you eaten?"

Charlie looked down at his empty plate and licked his lips. They were covered in chocolate sauce. If they hadn't been, maybe he would have been able to lie and claim more time with his uncle. Grace patted his shoulder and ushered him towards the door.

"Then go and put your shoes on."

"Do I have to go today?" Charlie whined, "Uncle Steve's back! I can miss _one_ day Grace-"

"No. Your education is too important to take a back seat for _anyone,"_ Grace barked sharp enough to make Charlie wince. She softened, looking guilty. "Go and put your shoes on."

"But-"

"Now."

Charlie heaved a sigh. He almost never saw Grace in a mood like this, but he knew that there was no use arguing when she was in one.

"Sorry Uncle Steve. I gotta respect my elders. Even if they're a mean old wind bag," Charlie said.

Steve bit back a grin but Grace huffed, affronted.

"Hey! I'm not much older than you. I could still smack you and get away with it!"

"I'll tell Danno!"

"You rat! Then I'll tell Danno what really happened to the air conditioning in his car!"

Charlie's arguments died as a look of fear crossed his face, "I'm going!"

And he was true to his word. Steve watched him slide off his chair and hurry over to his shoes as Grace picked up a banana for her own breakfast. She could get more at work. Kamekona never let her go unfed.

"What happened to the ac in the car?" Steve asked curiously.

Grace glared in his general direction but wouldn't look at him. That was a secret between her and her brother. If Steve had once been privy to them, he wasn’t anymore.

"It broke."

Steve’s shoulders fell. He felt like an outsider looking into a place he had once known like the back of his hand. He tried hard to remind her, and himself, that he had once been an important part of their life.

"Ah. Right. You ain’t no rat. I remember."

The memory of Grace punching a kid in the face to defend her friend made her clench her knuckles for a moment. She understood his references. She always would. But that only made it harder to accept what he had missed. He swallowed.

"Charlie said that Rachel left... That must have been hard."

"I wouldn't know, I was at school. I imagine it was hard for Charlie, but no harder than you leaving, so what does it matter?" She huffed.

Steve sank in his seat. This wasn't exhaustion, like he had been hoping. This was anger. Anger at him. Anger from the little girl he had looked on as a daughter. She was angry and him, and he knew why.

"I had to go. I know it's hard to understand... I had to find myself so I could know who I was supposed to be," he said, softly.

Grace still didn’t look up at him. Her voice was painfully calm. "Did you?"

"Yes," he nodded quietly.

That only made things worse. Grace scowled at him so furiously that Steve bowed his head. It worked in her favour. This way he couldn't see the hot tears stinging her eyes.

"Let me guess. You're supposed to be just regular Steve McGarrett. Not navy, not Five-O, nothing special, just a retiring old man spending his days in the sun, fishing and having barbecues and spending time with an ohana the size of Oahu, yeah?" She demanded.

It sounded good. Way better than what he had dared to expect. But he would never admit it.

"Something like that," he muttered.

"And you had to abandon us to figure that out did you?" She scoffed.

Looking back on it, Steve had been blinded by emotions that he just wanted to escape from. His mother's death was so close to the anniversary of his father's that they were both haunting him. Once a crack formed more ghosts flooded through. And after the utter breath stopping _terror_ of seeing Danny so covered in blood, hung up like he had been in Korea, when he thought he would never see Danny again...

Guilt pooled in Steve's chest. He had been running from everything for so long it felt impossible to face them now. But he had fought too hard to keep Grace around to lose her over his own stupidity.

"I know it's complicated-"

"Save it. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want the pity party of how your mother abandoned you and how much it hurt because guess what Steve, I've lived it," she spat.

Steve glanced up at her. Fear and shame were in his eyes. On some level he had known what had happened and he felt what she did now but to hear it... the pain in his chest ached harder, but she wasn’t done.

"I lost my uncle and my mother and so did Charlie. They waited until I was gone. I was away at university so I couldn't be there for my brother no matter how much I wanted to be. Don't ask me to pity you because from where I'm sitting-"

Grace bit her cheek to physically stop herself from saying what she wanted to. She didn’t want to be the one who told him. He had to figure it out for himself.

"You should have known better Steven."

Steve's head hung low. He closed his eyes. Grace shook her head and tossed the banana into Charlie's school bag. It wouldn't be enough lunch for him but she wasn’t about to stand here with Steve and make Charlie a packed lunch. Not now the weight of the air was suffocating her. She hurried out of the door, taking Charlie with her. Despite his loud protests, Steve heard nothing. His mind was replaying something he wished he could forget.

_And since when does a son call his mother by her first name?_

_Since you failed to be one 20 years ago._

_I didn't see any other options, Steve..._

"Are they already gone? That's early, even for Grace."

Danny staggered into the kitchen, having pulled a dressing gown around himself to hide his half naked body. The body Steve had seen before but the dressing gown was new. If his mind wasn't churning in a way that made his heart hurt he might have commented on it.

Instead he looked up helplessly and said, "I fucked up didn’t I?"

Danny paused for a moment. The answer was a resounding yes. He didn’t doubt that for a moment. It was just what specifically he was asking about that mattered. Danny picked up a now cool pancake and tore it apart to eat it while trying his best to keep his distance from Steve.

"Are you asking me or telling me?"

"I didn't know Grace was so mad at me."

"You would have if you phoned."

Steve hung his head again. Danny rolled his eyes. He could practically hear them rolling in his skull as his head punished him for drinking, but he didn't care. Steve had the audacity to look guilty for a change and Danny hated how much he wanted to make him stop.

"Usually that's the point when you explain why you didn't phone," he stated.

Steve glanced up at him, and then snatched his eyes away when they met. He didn't have an answer. Not a good one anyway. But Danny deserved the best he could muster.

"Our conversations kept getting shorter and shorter... We hadn’t managed more than ten minutes before one of us had to go for some reason, and the time difference made that harder. Then I tried calling you and you didn’t pick up and you didn’t phone me back and I just thought you'd given up on..."

Whatever sympathy he had drawn out of Danny with his sad eyes and heavy heart went straight out of the window now. There was a spark of anger in Danny's chest and it exploded in the alcoholic fumes.

"I was _busy_ Steve! I was rushed off my feet! I suddenly became a full time single parent! On my own and woefully unprepared! Not to mention Grace had left the island too. She kept talking about transferring to Hilo so she was close to help, she was going to risk her education! I'm _so sorry_ that between raising my son, consoling my daughter, walking your dog and trying to manage our task force on my own I missed your damn phone call!"

Steve lurched backwards. He had been on the receiving end of Danny's rants enough times to know when he was just annoyed and when he was really angry, but this was something else. This he had only ever seen Danny give Rachel. He wasn't really angry at Steve, he was just annoyed at himself that he wasn't surprised and yet he had allowed himself to be drawn in again. Danny had dropped him down to the same level as _Rachel._ That was worse than anything he could have said.

"I... I didn't know..." Steve muttered.

Danny heaved a heavy sigh and finally sat down at the table opposite him. "What would have changed if you had? You were off _finding yourself_ , d'you think I would have burdened you with my problems too?"

Steve swallowed hard as he remembered something Danny had yelled at him once. "In a friendship there’s no my problem. All problems are our problems..."

"Not when you're on the other side of the planet Steve."

That was difficult to argue. Other people had left. Chin and Kono had left. But both of them were only ever one phone call away if they were needed. Not even a phone call, one text. One vague shout into the void that some how gave them an uneasy feeling and caused them to check in. If they could manage it while both heading up their own task forces on the mainland, Steve should have been able to while wandering untethered for a change.

"What about Five-O didn’t they help?" Steve asked quietly.

Danny softened, a lot. The tension in him fell away as a familiar swathe of gratitude ran through him and he nodded. "Of course they did, they were invaluable. I have no idea what I would have done without them. Junior and Tani agreed to move in together so we could have this house. Adam took Charlie to school every day until I could get my schedule changed. Noelani picked him up. She's so great with kids. She even managed to find a way to 3D print an X-Ray of his arm for him. But it wasn't until Mary got Joan into Charlie's school that things got so much easier to handle. Once she was helping out too things really began to settle down. She really helped Grace too. I'm pretty sure she’s the only one who could have convinced Grace to stay in new England."

Steve sat up in surprise. "My sister did that?"

Danny's shoulders sagged in disdain, "Haven't you been talking to her either?"

Steve looked guilty, "I try to, but... between work and Joan and, this I guess, she doesn't reply much. I thought..."

 _I wasn't aware you had the capability of thinking_. Danny picked up a tepid cup of coffee to stop himself from saying anything. Steve had only been back one day. He could put away his anger until he was settled in, right? He set down the cup as he took a deep breath.

"What did you think?"

"I thought she might have finally found a man to take care of her. Well I guess she kind of did. You're not dating my sister are you Danny?" Steve gave a half hearted laugh.

Danny's insides coiled. Steve watched him, waiting for an answer. Danny went for the truth. Mostly. His sexuality and new date was still information Danny had to process and honestly he didn’t know if he wanted to tell Steve at all anymore.

"I am not dating your sister."

Steve breathed a sigh of relief and forced a laugh, "Good. I mean I know we're family but we're not that kind of family right?"

Danny's face twisted. "We're not family Steve."

Steve's face, jaw, and heart, fell. "We're... we're not?"

"Family stick together. They don't run off to find themselves and not bother to stay in contact."

"But-"

"And if I was you I wouldn't say that near Grace. She won't like it."

Steve gulped. Danny didn't even seem to care. He did though. He cared a lot. Too much. Danny was putting up boundaries to protect himself and his kids because they needed them. And for now they needed Steve on the outside of them.

Steve sank down in his seat. His food had gone as untouched as the pancake in Eddie's bowl. This place had been his support system. They were there to catch him when he fell. Usually. Maybe he had just jumped from too high this time...

"I thought you understood why I had to go..." he muttered.

"I did! I do! I just..."

Danny groaned in frustration. He did understand. At least he tried to. But he hadn’t expected Steve to be gone this long. He hadn’t expected Rachel to disappear. He hadn't expected life to unravel so quickly. He didn’t want to risk leaning on Steve only for him to leave again. Which is how he came to the next pressing question.

"Do you want us to move out?"

Steve reeled upwards in surprising and blinked at him. "What?"

"This place is still yours. If you're back for good and you want to come home-" Danny began.

Steve shook his head like the thought had never entered his mind. "I’m not-"

"You’re not back for good?" Danny asked, a little too sharply.

Steve licked his lips. "I'm not asking you to leave. This place is a family home, we're- you're a family. It's better if I go and you stay."

Danny let out a sigh of relief. Steve felt a stab of disappointment. Had Danny really come to think so little of him? Steve would have given his life to protect Danny and the kids, giving up a house, even his childhood home, it was nothing. Not if it kept them together. Danny cleared his throat slightly.

"Does Mary know you’re back?" He asked.

Steve shook his head, "I was gonna..."

"Call her," Danny ordered firmly. "Give her time to prepare. Like a normal person would."

Steve couldn't argue with that.

...

Mary set a fresh coffee in front of Steve. She cleared the paw patrol toys off of her seat and sat down opposite him. The conversation had shifted from Joan to Danny and now Steve was lamenting on how hurt he was that Danny didn't trust him anymore. Mary just nodded along and listened, waiting for her opportunity to tell him he was being stupid.

"I thought family were supposed to welcome you home with open arms," he complained.

"Like we welcomed home mom?" She challenged.

Steve's argument died on his tongue. He dropped back into his seat. She had him and they both knew it.

"That was different. She lied to us. She wasn’t there when we needed her."

"Well they lost their mother. Danny was on his own. He was heart broken and injured and struggling and he needed you. _That's_ when you should have come home."

In her time as a mother Mary had had to face a whole barrage of new problems she never thought of before. Even at the height of her problematic childhood. Back then she didn’t have anyone to turn to except their aunt deb. These days she was constantly trying to think of what her aunt would say and do in certain situations, and what was the best way to do things. Sometimes she had to look to others for help. Danny was the best father she knew. Having him to work with and learn from had helped her more than he would know. And it showed.

This was not the reckless young woman who turned up high to her own father's funeral.

Steve was simultaneously proud of her growth, and bitter that her new found maturity no longer aided that immature side of him that thought explosions were the best way to get through a problem.

"I heard you convinced Grace to stay at college," he said.

Mary almost choked on her coffee. "Who told you that?"

"Danny," he stated.

Mary scoffed and shook her head, "Figures. That is not what happened."

Steve sat up with renewed interest. "Then what did?"

Mary glanced Steve up and down as she considered telling him the story. But if Grace had wanted him to know she would have told him already. If Mary had to take sides, she wouldn't pick the fully grown man.

"All I'm going to tell you is that that kid is scared of letting her father down. The rest is her story to tell."

"But she won't talk to me!"

"Then that's your problem. I’m not gonna let her down by sharing her secrets."

Steve huffed in frustration. Trust Mary to have a moral backbone. No one else would be able to tell him why Grace was so annoyed. Except he knew really. And it made his chest feel heavy.

"I can't believe she hates me..." he sighed.

Mary's heart went out to him. She had some experience in this area, and she had too much sympathy for both sides to try getting involved. But she loved her brother.

Mary laid a hand on top of his and said, "She needs space to breath and work things out. Give it to her. Just like you kept mom away from me when I needed you to. You’re a good brother and a good uncle you just made a mistake. Now you have to fix it and you can't rush these things."

Steve huffed, but it was followed by a sigh. She was right and as much as he hated it, he knew it. Steve had never liked the slow and steady approach, but sometimes it was the only one that worked.

"Where do I even start?" He asked helplessly.

"You can start by moving in here for a while. Consider it a repayment for letting me live with you when I came home. Except this time can you refrain from loud late night exercises? Joan is a growing kid who needs her sleep," Mary warned playfully.

Steve gave her a sheepish smile and shook his head, "Don’t worry I don’t have anyone to have late night exercises with."

"Good. Settle in. Tomorrow we'll go back home and get your stuff out of the attic. It might we rough so we'll wait until Grace goes to work," she warned, more seriously this time.

Steve tilted his head at her, "Grace has a job?"

Mary rolled her eyes heavily, "Didn't you talk to them at all while you were gone?!"

Steve's shoulders sagged again. "Not as much as I should have..."

Mary tutted at him, but said nothing. He knew the problem now. It was fixable. It had to be. Everything was fixable. Especially when it mattered. As long as he stayed with Mary and took his time with Grace, he could fix everything.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got fed up of waiting a whole week to post chapters because I am IMPAITENT so now I'm gonna post on Wednesdays and Sundays for a while. Enjoy!

Mary, being a normal person with a functioning brain, called ahead to warn Danny that they would be over after picking up Charlie. Danny, being a nervous mess of emotions at the mere idea of facing Steve again already, stayed later at work to avoid him. After all, Steve and Mary knew the house like the back of their hands. They didn’t need him there.

The only person in the house who was genuine thrilled to have him home would be there though, so Danny should have been fine with the idea of not being around when Steve was there. He should have been. Except it made him feel so damn foolish.

Danny bounced the pen back and forth between his fingers and leaned his mouth against his knuckles as he pretended to listen to the others in front of them. But there was one question he couldn't quite get past.

"Should I have kissed him?"

"Yes."

Danny blinked in surprise at how quickly and easily Tani stated it. She didn't even look up when she said it. Like it was so obvious it was nothing. It sent a bolt of panic through his chest.

"You don’t even know who I'm talking about," he argued.

Tani was leaning across the table, a little too casually for his liking. She had most of her weight on one arm on the edge of the table as she tapped into it, and she still didn’t look up as she shook her hair out of her face.

"Either you’re talking about your date last night in which case you’re thinking about them now and regretting not kissing them so yes, you should have."

"My date?" Danny blinked in surprise.

Tani didn’t miss a beat as she continued, "Or you’re thinking about Steve because he's back on the island which means you're bottled up feelings are back and you're wondering what could have been and you wouldn't be wondering if you had just manned up and kissed him so yeah. The answer's yes."

Danny's heart thumped. He looked around at his co-workers and not one of them looked surprised by her statements. They all seemed agreed upon the fact. He felt like his world was spinning without him. Danny wasn't aware how obvious it was to everyone else that he loved Steve. It certainly wasn't obvious to Steve. To everyone else though, it was clear. And the fact that he had forgotten his date with Harry, the first date he had really enjoyed for a _long_ time, just because Steve was back, was something he decided to keep to himself.

"How did you know Steve was back?" He asked.

Truth be told he sent out a text blast to everyone that morning to let them know he was back but had no plans of returning to work. Yet. But they had agreed (because Lou said it would be best) not to mention it until Danny brought it up. Lou shot Tani a look now but she ignored him.

"I can smell his aftershave on you," Tani shrugged. Her head flicked round to grin at him eagerly, "Was he your date?"

Danny's heart thumped again, "What?! No!"

"Oh so he interrupted your date?" Tani smirked.

Lou gave a low chuckle to himself and shook his head, "Classic McGarrett."

Danny shook his head urgently and sat up to insist, "No, no, I didn't- we didn’t- he turned up at the house and I... I couldn't turn him away could I?"

"Technically yeah, you could but no you probably shouldn't. Not since it's still technically his house and all," Lou agreed.

Danny's hand fell into his lap. They all knew. They all knew he was back and that he still had a claim on Danny's house and was therefore still going to be in Danny's life. _They_ all knew and he had never considered it before now. Steve hadn't even thought about kicking them out. He gave up his whole _house_ for Danny without question. Sacrifice was nothing to him. 

Once upon a time it had felt impossible to imagine a future without Steve in it. The two of them, old and bickering as they fell asleep in their chairs on the beach. Both of them together. Both of them safe. Both of them happy. It had been surprisingly easy to risk imagining Harry in his place recently. To dare to think of himself with _two_ daughters out in the world, to go with his son. Him and Harry settled in this house, here, in Hawaii still. Still on the beach. Although Harry was much more of an active character than Danny. Danny would nap in their hammock while Harry mowed the lawn.

It was hard to imagine Harry as an old man. He himself hadn’t thought he'd survive to the age he currently was. Anything past this was a gift. Danny could understand that. He knew he should have died back in 2002 with his partner. Everything since had been borrowed time and everything ahead of him was to be treasured. But Harry seemed to want to keep going and exploring and testing how far he had to go to actually get himself killed.

 _Steve_ could grow old. Old and wrinkled and grumpy. Before he left he had been slowing down and getting comfortable. He had developed crows feet and grey hairs along side Danny. He had back pains and hip pains and sometimes his knees clicked and he had to sit down for ten minutes. Steve was ready to settle. Harry still needed taming.

"You really think I should have kissed Steve?" Danny asked again.

The entire room gave an impatient, "Yes."

He blinked in surprise again. "So you all knew?"

"You weren't subtle," Tani scoffed.

His shoulders sagged. "That's what Grace said... why didn’t any of you say anything?"

Lou gagged, affronted, and scowled at him. "Excuse me? How many times did we say you were married? How many times did we say get a room? She hung mistletoe over your office doorway!"

"And his!" Tani added.

"We tried! It wasn’t our fault you two are blind!" Lou huffed.

Danny wrinkled his nose but he didn't argue. It wasn't their fault that Danny hadn't let himself notice the little looks and lingering touches Steve laid on him. He wouldn't dare to. It was safer not to. He wouldn't let himself imagine Steve loving him back. It was all that saved his family from collapsing when he left.

And now he had Harry. It had only taken _them_ six weeks of dancing around the question for Harry to cut through the bushes and ask him out. It had settled the anxiety in his chest. Danny needed someone who wouldn’t let fear stand in their way.

Lou clicked his fingers to draw him out of his thoughts and gestured back to the screen before them. "Get your head into gear Williams. If you don't prepare for what's coming it'll get messy."

Danny cleared his throat and nodded. Both Harry and Steve could wait. He needed to work.

...

The house felt strange. It was familiar. The exact house he had always lived in. Except different. Just ever so slightly changed. Charlie went blazing through the front door the moment it was unlocked. His school bag went flying down onto the sofa and he vanished into the kitchen. Joan gave a kick of her heels to usher her uncle after him. She was, after all, perched on his back as he carried her up the steps and into the house.

"Don't kick your uncle mrs! It's not nice!" Mary scolded.

"But that's how they make horses go mama! I saw it at the rodeo!" Joan whined.

The small blonde girl tightened her grip on his neck as she leaned backwards to face her mother. It almost choked Steve. He adjusted his grip and put on a cheery voice.

"You went to the rodeo?! Wow!" He grinned.

She beamed back, "Uhuh! Auntie Kono took us!"

Steve's eyes widened. "Auntie- Auntie Kono?"

The last time he had seen Kono was at the airport when he was waving goodbye again. He had come to visit her and accused her of never coming to the island anymore. She had laughed and told him that she had been there recently, but he hadn't believed her. Time has stopped working for him, and he assumed everyone else around him too. But maybe Kono had been to the island while he was away. He could easily have missed her...

"Uhuh, Auntie Kono came to visit and she took us to the rodeo to see Uncle Adam and Uncle Junior go up against the mechanical bull," Joan explained.

"Uncle Adam won," Charlie stated.

He had appeared from the kitchen again with a juice box and was sipping from it with the same gravitas as a mafia boss from a wine glass. Steve couldn't place his finger on how.

"He did huh?" He said.

Charlie nodded. He broke away from his sip long enough to state, "He cheated."

Which made Joan gag in offence and cry, "He did not!"

"He did too! Aunt Kono gave him a magic good luck kiss to make him win, I saw them!" Charlie cried.

"That's not cheating! It was for luck!" Joan huffed.

"It was magic!"

"It was _luck!"_

_"Magic!"_

_"Luck!"_

Steve couldn't get his head around the idea of Kono coming back to the island while he was gone, or that she might have gotten together with Adam again and not mentioned it, and just how much else he had missed while he was away. But he also didn’t want Joan shouting in his ear as Charlie continued to wind her up.

"Alright! Alright! It wasn't luck, _or_ magic, it was Uncle Adam being very, very, very good at being able to ride out difficult waves. Trust me. I've seen him do it," he interrupted firmly.

Charlie's eyebrows furrowed. "But I thought you said Aunt Kono was the best surfer on the island?"

"I..." Steve began.

He wasn't really sure what to say to that, and Joan was just as curious. Fortunately for him, Mary was watching with amusement.

"Different types of waves. Who's hungry?" She asked.

Joan gasped and swung back to cry, "Me! Me!"

Charlie bounced on his toes and cried, "Me!"

Steve gave her a small grin and said, "Me."

Mary gave him an amused but unimpressed look. She peeled Joan off of his back and set her on the floor so the two kids could run off to raid the kitchen. Steve stretched his arms to try and relieve the pain now in his back. Joan weighed so little but she wriggled so much. He followed Mary into the kitchen. The kids had taken Eddie into the garden. When looking for them, Steve got his first good look at the painted lalani.

"That's... bright," he said.

Mary followed his gaze, smiled, and nodded. "Thank you. I thought the place needed some brightening up."

"Was it really that bad before?" He asked.

She shrugged, "Well it was worn and weather beaten and peeling apart, but it was okay. Really it just needed repainting, and I thought we could make it bright and colourful for the kids because they were so gloomy. I think it looks nice."

"It looks..."

Mary waited as Steve searched for the right adjective. It wasn't the same. It didn't feel the same. When he lived here he had kept it the same greyish white that it had been when he was growing up. It was what he knew. It was what felt right. But things had changed. Things that he had no control over. And this was just one of them.

"It looks great," he muttered.

It was a lie, but Mary still smiled. "Right answer."

Mary wasn’t about to risk anything happening to Charlie or Joan that could have been avoided, so she made sure they were both inside before they even tried to go into the attic. She left them with snacks to eat and cartoons on the TV and Eddie in charge for a while.

The trap door to the attic had been forgotten for so long that the wire had snapped off and never been replaced. Steve had to wriggle it open by using a knife as a lever. When Steve managed to pull the trap door down, a huge plume of dust billowed out across the steps. Both adults coughed loudly as they tried to clear the cloud from their lungs.

"Ladies first," Steve said.

Mary took one look at the rickety ladder that hadn’t been tested in years, and scoffed.

"Up you go then," she countered.

Steve sneered. He climbed the ladder carefully. It creaked but it took his weight. For a moment it was pitch black in there and anything at all could have made itself a home. Then he switched on the light. The bulb took a moment to warm up after all this time, but it flicked on and illuminated all that they needed to see. Piles of old cardboard boxes lined the walls, some with aged writing still across their sides, but all covered in a heavy blanket of dust and cobwebs. Mary frowned as she climbed into the room beside him.

"How long's it been since you last looked through this crap?"

"Well I checked it for bombs and assassin's before bed most nights when I lived here, and I came up every year for Christmas decorations but actually looking through these boxes?"

"This is dad's blockbuster videos card!"

"A while."

Mary scoffed. A while. It had been at least one year that this had been untouched and who knew how many before that. But Steve just shrugged.

"I usually use the garage for storage but the car is in it. The attic never really entered my mind," he said.

She hummed dubiously but said nothing. It wasn't time for an argument. Grace would be home soon and she didn’t want to upset the poor girl. They had work to do.

Steve, however, was tumbling down memory lane. This was the one place that had been almost untouched since their father died. Steve couldn't help thinking back to him.

"Remember when Dad used to say he wanted to build another room up here so we could have a good spare room in case it was ever needed?" He asked.

Mary frowned. It took her a moment, but she had a vague recollection. "Mom wanted a space for her troubled kids from class in it, didn’t she?"

"Probably just one specific kid," Steve grumbled bitterly.

The idea of growing up with Wo-Fat under the same roof sent a shiver down his spine, yet at the same time, he wondered how different life could have been if they had. Both his parents would both be alive for one thing. Mary wouldn't have been sent away either, so they could have actually grown up together. Then Aunt Deb could have followed her career and become a famous singer. And maybe they would even have become friends with him. Maybe they could have considered him family. Then Wo-Fat wouldn't have started his empire at all and countless lives would be safe. Steve probably wouldn’t have joined the navy. And then he wouldn’t have come back for his fathers funeral. Then he wouldn't have met Danny.

No.

He didn’t like the idea of not knowing Danny.

Maybe he would have followed in his father's footsteps like he wanted to and joined HPD. Then when Danny came to join the force, they would have known each other right from day one. They would have had _more_ time together, not missed each other completely. And he would have been able to stand by Chin when everyone else turned against him. He wouldn't have just had Kono on his side. They would have sorted everything out, just like they did, and he wouldn’t annoy Delano and Malia would still be alive. Maybe they'd have kids. They would still adopt Sara though. Chin was besotted with her from day one. Maybe they wouldn't befriend Adam, but they would still work with Lou on SWAT because his daughter would never get kidnapped. They would still be friends. Still be happy.

Maybe things could have been different...

The sound of Mary's laughter pulled him back to the room, "Hey! Look at this!"

He looked up to see what she was holding. He lit up.

"My old guitar! I forgot this was up here!"

He took it from her, kicking up a cloud of dust as he did. The guitar was utterly covered in it. It was a half sized acoustic brought for him when he was a child, and against him now as a fully grown man, it looked tiny. Mary grinned wider. She pulled her phone out to snap a photo so Steve pulled a "rock face" that made her laugh again. He looked like such a goof. Then he tried to strike a chord.

The sound that echoed through the room was awful. Half the notes were dead, the others were like a horrible screech and all of it echoed around them. Steve pulled a face.

"It's out of tune," he said.

"Way out of tune!" Mary agreed.

It wasn't very long after that that Charlie popped up at the bottom of the steps and called up to them, concerned.

"What was that noise?"

"Uncle Steve," Mary said.

"Is he okay?" Charlie sounded more concerned.

"It was a guitar Charlie, everyone's okay," Steve assured.

"Can I come up too?" Charlie asked.

"Sure. Watch your step," Steve warned.

Steve knelt down at the edge of the door to watch him as he climbed. Even though the ladder had held both him and Mary he was far more concerned about Charlie's safety than theirs. Once he was up and safe though Steve relaxed. Charlie did not. Up here it was gloomy and dusty and it smelt of old damp. He didn't like it much. But it didn't take long for curiosity to get the better of him so he could start digging through boxes too.

He drew out a big red box that was almost the same size as him. "What’s this?"

Steve looked up again. The moment he spotted the box his eyes widened and his smile grew instinctively. He flew over to make sure it was what he thought it was. One sweep of all the dust and he laughed.

"Whoa! Mary, look what Charlie found!"

He held it up to show her. Mary was much less thrilled. She rolled her eyes up to the heavens and groaned.

"Oh God."

Steve beamed wider. He laid an arm around Charlie's shoulders to pull him close and show him what he had found.

"This, Charlie, is my old magic box from when I was your age!" Steve grinned.

Charlie gasped, "Magic box?!"

Steve nodded eagerly. Charlie's eyes shone with wonder. He was at the age now that he was questioning whether magic was real or not, but if Uncle Steve had a magic box, maybe it really was!

"He used to wear a cape and a top hat and draw on a moustache with mom's eyeliner, he looked so silly!" Mary grinned.

"Don’t listen to her Charlie, I looked amazing! And I could do magic she's just jealous," Steve said firmly.

"Your hands were bigger than mine, it was easier for you to hide the coin!" Mary argued.

"So you still remember why I was better than you huh?" Steve grinned.

Mary just rolled her eyes again. Over thirty years later he was still the same show off big brother she had when she was a toddler. She didn’t know whether to be pleased that some things never change, or irritated by it.

"Can I try?" Charlie asked hopefully.

"Course! C'mon, lets take this down to the living room and clean it up a bit, then we can see what's inside!" Steve declared.

"Uh, Steve I'm not so sure we have time to waste before Grace comes back and - EEK! SPIDER! SPIDER!"

Mary dropped the box like it had burned her and dashed across the entire length of the house to drop down the steps into the hallway. Steve knelt down at the edge of the hole to watch her dancing in circles to try and get rid of the sensations.

"Ughhh I can feel it on me! This is all your fault Steve!" She whined.

Steve laughed, "How is _this_ my fault too?"

"If you hadn’t come back I wouldn't be here right now and I wouldn't have seen that spider!" She snapped.

Steve gave a weary smile and shook his head, "Not everything is my fault y’know. You can't just blame everything on me."

"I don't!" Charlie declared.

Steve hooked an arm around him again, "Not you Charlie."

Mary put her hands on her hips and gave him a very pointed glare, "I can, because you're my brother, and you’re older than me and therefore everything is your fault."

Any other time it would have been funny to him. Funny that no matter how old they got, she was still the annoying little sister that would set him up for a fall at every opportunity. But today, after everything that he had discovered, everything he blamed himself for, and that Grace and Danny - even if he hadn't said it yet - blamed him for, Steve couldn't find the humour in it. He tried to pretend it rolled off his back though.

"Do you want me to go and get rid of that spider so you can go back in there?" He challenged.

"Yes," she nodded begrudgingly, because she knew when she was bested.

"Then you can wait until I've shown Charlie how to do magic tricks," Steve nodded firmly.

He climbed down first so that Charlie could pass him the box and follow. Mary's eyes widened as her chest tightened.

"But what if it gets out of the attic?! What if it-"

Steve rolled his eyes as he lifted Charlie off of the step ladder.

"You’re such a baby! Look-" he lifted the ladder and shut the trap door firmly behind it. "Door's shut, now no spiders can come down to wrap you up in web and carry you away-"

He waggled his fingers at her, teasingly, and she wriggled to get away and slapped his hand.

 _"Don't Steve!_ I’m serious, I hate spiders!" She argued.

Steve just chuckled, "C’mon, let's take your mind off it with some magic."

...

Danny couldn't even enjoy driving his own car anymore. He didn't have anyone to complain at these days and he had discovered that those constant carguments of his and Steve's had been the more predominantly form of therapy he had. Without them, his mind felt clouded and foggy and he couldn't form a single clear thought that didn’t feel like an arrow to the chest. His mind was in that fugue state so long he almost missed his phone ringing.

"Detective Williams."

"Yes I know him, a devilishly handsome man with deceptively good taste in men, is he free to talk?" A honey soaked British accent chimed through.

That was debatable. His choice of men seemed to be attractive but wildly macho idiots with a lust for danger and a soft side that made them so goofy he melted for them. Just remembering the way that Harry played peekaboo with the boy two tables over in the middle of their date softened his insides and made him smile.

"Hello Harry," Danny smiled.

At the other end of the phone Harry's own smile deepened to hear it. Danny's smile had a tendency to leak into his voice. Like sunshine it warmed whoever heard it.

"I was just checking in to see if we were on for tomorrow-" Harry began.

"Tomorrow?" Danny repeated in confusion.

There was a short pause before Harry cleared his throat, "Yes? Tomorrow is Friday isn't it? You haven't forgotten already?"

"No, I haven't... I didn't forget our date Harry-" God that still felt so weird to say, it made his stomach fizz with nerves and excitement all at once, "but I had forgotten that today was Thursday."

"Ah, that's a relief. For a moment there I had a dreadful feeling that I had become forgettable. Can't have that," Harry chuckled.

His laugh was deep and velvety and it made Danny's mind wander to places of curiosity that he didn't dare voice yet.

"Aren't spies supposed to be forgotten?" He teased.

"We aren’t supposed to be noticed in the first place dear boy, but I don't tend to be forgotten," Harry said.

"That I can believe," Danny agreed.

The velvety chuckle reminded him of that little kiss to his cheek. Remembering it made his stomach flip and his cheeks blush.

"I would like to pick your brain about family matters as well my dear. See, Lady Sophie's father..."

Harry trailed off for a moment. It was an unfamiliar trait for him. To hear it made Danny's chest ache. Calling someone else his daughter's father always felt like a cruel twist of the knife. Danny knew the feeling all too well. All he wanted to do was stop that sense of loss in his heart.

"The lord?" Danny corrected.

"Yes. Him," Harry agreed. He cleared his throat and carried on pretending that that blip had never happened. "He's finally settled down enough to agree to a meeting. I assume it will be on his terms, but Sophie is going to call on Sunday and honestly, I have no idea what to say."

"You want my help?" Danny sounded surprised.

"Apologising to estranged family is not exactly my finest skill. I would appreciate back up," Harry admitted.

It was also an unfamiliar request. Harry was Danny and Steve's back up when the need arose. Danny never considered the trust going both ways. It did, obviously, he just never thought about it like that.

"Well I've got the kids on Sunday I think, but if you're feeling brave you can come to mine and I'll send them out to the movies," Danny offered.

"You’re going to invite your date over to your house and send your children out to the movies? Are _you_ feeling brave Daniel?" Harry purred.

Danny felt his cheeks flush harder, as though Harry was there beside him, "I-"

Harry gave another low chuckle. It was intoxicatingly victorious. "I'm only teasing dear boy. I would definitely appreciate the company, but if it's troublesome for you-"

"No. Of course it's not. Nothing's too much trouble for you Harry," Danny stated.

"Thank you Daniel. I appreciate that," Harry smiled.

"And I would appreciate you calling me Danny, Harry. That full name thing, it's not me," Danny admitted.

"Is that why Steve used to call you Danno?"

Danny's heart missed a beat. "Um..."

"Sorry, I forgot, we're not talking about Steve anymore. All I mean is, if Daniel isn't to your liking, perhaps I'll find you a new moniker. One just for you and I. If, of course, you're okay with that?"

"That sounds..."

Danny wasn’t entirely certain that he was comfortable with the idea of Harry having a private moniker just for him. But he did like the idea of Harry no longer calling him by his full name. Even if it sounded like a term of endearment in his accent right now, Danny knew how biting it sounded in the same accent when they argued. He didn't like the risk.

"I'll help you workshop it later."

"Of course boo-boo, I wouldn't do anything without you," Harry chuckled.

Again Danny's chest tightened. Steve had only ever called him that once. _Once._ And he couldn't untangle his voice from the words whenever he heard them. He swallowed hard.

"Um, no. Not bears. Bears are out," Danny muttered.

"Understood. I'll make a list," Harry continued, cheerfully.

"Listen, I've reached home now so-"

"Say no more, I understand. Goodbye. _Danno."_

"Bye Harry..."

The click was decisive. It ended the entire conversation. But Danny didn’t feel any better. He hadn't liked Steve calling him Danno, to begin with at least. It was a special title. One just for him and Grace. But Steve had wormed his way into Danny's affections and opened up the door to let other people call him Danno too. Grace and Charlie, obviously, sometimes Tani when she was teasing him. Junior tried once and decided never again and continued to call Danny nothing but sir for two weeks. But most of all, _Steve._ He had taken something personal for Danny, teased him for it, and then transformed it into a term of endearment.

But it felt uncomfortable in Harry's voice.

So uncomfortable that he almost failed to notice Mary's car, but he entirely failed to put two and two together and remember that Steve would be with her. Joan beamed when she saw him.

"Uncle Danny!" She cried eagerly.

It was an odd but wholly welcome warmth to hear this excited little girl call him uncle. He had been an uncle before, of course, he loved Eric and Sophie, but they never called him Uncle Danny like she did. Sophie never called him uncle and Eric never called him Danny. But Joan fluctuated calling him both Uncle Danny and Uncle Danno when she had been with Charlie all day. _That_ he liked. Joan calling him Danno was fine. It knocked Harry out of his mind entirely.

"Aloha Joanie, how are you-" he began.

Joan latched onto his hand and tugged him towards the sitting room urgently, "Quick, come sit down, come on, sit!"

She ushered him down into the seat next to Mary. Mary smiled warmly and gave him a wave to welcome him home. A small curtain had been hung up on a plastic frame that he didn't recognise. It acted like a stage in front of the TV.

"What's going on?" Danny asked Mary.

"Shhh!" Joan hissed as she took her seat beside him.

Mary gave him an apologetic smile and said nothing. Danny would just have to find out as it happened. And then it happened. Now that the audience was full it was time for Charlie to make his appearance.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" He declared.

"Oh God, look at him! Where did you find that?!" Danny laughed.

"In the attic. I thought I had seen the last of this. Apparently not," Mary said.

Steve and Charlie had been working on magic tricks all evening and the other things in the attic had been forgotten. They were deemed unimportant and would stay there possibly for the rest of time. But the magic box had been found. As had the moth eaten top hat, and the silky red cape with ladders in the middle and frayed hems. They had even borrowed Grace's eyeliner to draw a twirled moustache under the boy's nose.

"I am the fabulous Harry-" Charlie began.

The curtains behind him shuffled as Steve quietly corrected, "Charlie."

"Huh?" Charlie asked.

"Your name is Charlie bud," Steve said.

"Right. The fabulous _Charlie_ Houdini! Welcome to my magic show!" Charlie declared.

He waited. Nothing happened. He cleared his throat. Joan suddenly remembered what she was supposed to do and started applauding. Mary and Danny copied.

"For my first trick, I will pull a dog from this hat!" Charlie declared.

At the mention of the animal Danny suddenly realised that he hadn't been welcomed home by theirs yet. That was odd. He usually worked as a doorbell when he heard them coming.

Danny glanced around. "Where's Eddie?"

Behind the curtain there was a soft bark as Steve tried to wrangle the dog into a standstill. The fabric kept flapping as his tail beat against it now that he had heard his name. 

"Never mind," Danny said.

The magic show was not the best thing that Danny had ever seen in his life, but he couldn’t stop smiling all the way through. Charlie's happy little grin was wider than it had been in months.

"Please welcome my assistant, Uncle Steve!" Charlie declared.

Steve burst through the curtains and raised his hands above his head to show off the eyeliner moustache he had drawn on his own lip. Mary burst into laughter, howling on the edge of her seat. Danny forced a smile but his insides were frozen and he clung to the edges of his chair so hard his knuckles turned white. It was so hard to face Steve at the moment. Just one look sent his pulse raising and he couldn't tell if it was love or fury.

The act went on as Danny remained frozen to his seat. The laughter and the applause was quieter without his input but he couldn't hear it anyway. There was a buzzing in his ears. It was too loud to hear anything over. The only time he dared to ease his grip on the seat was when Charlie "vanished" Steve and he disappeared into the kitchen. Danny's heart was thumping again though.

He couldn’t stand much more of this. He would have to talk to Steve. He would have to clear the air. But there was so much fog that the prospect was daunting.

Steve glanced through the gap in the wall between the kitchen and the sitting room to try and catch a glimpse of Danny. The man had barely said two sentences to him while he had been on the island and Steve was _itching_ to be close again. To tell him what he had discovered by being away. That being so far away from Danny made him ache so much that it was like a hole in his heart.

Steve licked his lips nervously and picked up a spatula to check the way he looked. He smoothed his hair and wrinkled his nose to check on the moustache. It hadn't made Danny laugh. He was sure it would make Danny laugh. Maybe if it was just a little thicker-

The back door swung open as Steve held the spatula to his face to see the moustache he was drawing on with eyeliner. He looked up and froze. It was an odd sight for anyone to walk in on, but Grace in particular froze his chest. She stopped in her step and blinked at him. Of all the thoughts running simultaneously through her head she picked one. Her eyes narrowed on his hand.

"Did I say you could borrow my eyeliner?" She demanded.

Steve licked his lips sheepishly. "Oh, um... sorry, I didn’t... sorry."

Grace held out a hand to demand it back. When Steve handed it over she snatched her hand away. It wasn't like her to snatch things. Steve had never known her to be unwilling to share. But he hadn’t noticed the way her fingers brushed against his palm in the same way she had.

That was proof. Undeniable, unequivocal, _solid_ proof that this was real. Steve was here. Really here. It made her eyes sting as she stubbornly held back tears.

"Why are you even here?" She huffed.

"I was clearing out the attic with Mary," Steve said.

 _We have an attic?_ "I thought- aren’t you staying in a hotel? Why would you need whatever's up there?"

"No, I'm back Grace. I’m back for good," Steve promised.

Her heart beat harder. It wanted to believe him, but Grace's heart had been fooled before and her head had a plan that he could easily ruin. She couldn't let him ruin it.

"I'll believe it when I see it," she huffed.

Grace hurried away to her room to escape the sound of her heart beating anxiously in her ears. She couldn’t outrun it, but she could avoid the cause. Nothing was going to ruin her plan. She couldn't allow it. Not even Steve.

Danny cleared his throat quietly when Charlie and Joan moved to the kitchen in search of Steve so he and Mary found themselves alone.

"Do you mind not staying for dinner tonight? It's just that..." Danny glanced up at the handsome SEAL being climbed by children and grinning that stupid megawatt grin that made his knees go funny. He sighed and looked down at the ground, "I'm not ready to deal with this."

Mary patted his shoulder sympathetically, "I get it. I'll do my best but you know my brother. Whatever he's set his mind on-"

"Grace isn't ready either. He won't risk upsetting her," Danny said, firmly.

It was a factor of their relationship that they had never had to face before but on some level both Danny and Steve knew it. Steve could irritate Danny into confessing why he was annoyed with him, but he wouldn't ever knowingly push Grace. He let her come to him and explain it herself in her time. Steve hated waiting, but he never pushed her. Tonight that could benefit them both.

"Hey Steve? You ready to go? Joan's got a schedule I try to stick to so-" Mary began.

Steve looked up at her like this was the worst thing he had heard all day. A look that was hard to take seriously with his make up and a child hanging like a sloth on his arm.

"Already? But I haven't even-" Steve stopped himself as his gaze trailed to Danny. He cleared his throat. He didn’t live here anymore. He was staying with Mary. He was lucky she was able to take him in. It wasn't time to be ungrateful. "No that's fine. I'll uh, I'll drive."

"You’re not insured on my car and you no longer have immunity and means. _I'm_ driving," Mary stated.

It wasn’t up for argument. Steve didn't even try. Danny would have been impressed if his heart wasn’t in his throat. Steve followed Mary and Joan out but paused at Danny's side to give him a small smile.

"I wish we had more time tonight. I'd like to catch up," he said.

Danny wouldn’t meet his eye as he nodded, "Uh, yeah. Yeah, uh, maybe. Soon."

Steve knew his partner. He knew when he was lying. But usually he didn't lie to Steve. He was sarcastic, but he didn't lie. So Steve chose to ignore those signs and to believe that he was being honest. They would catch up. Soon.

Charlie sulked at the window as he watched Mary's car drive away from the house. Grace found him. She took one look at him in his hat and his cloak with his eyeliner moustache and snorted.

"What do you look like?!" She laughed.

Charlie frowned at her like it was obvious and she was being stupid. "Harry Houdini!"

Grace cocked a hip and smirked at him, "Oh really? Do you think you could make Uncle Steve disappear?"

"No, _you_ did that," Charlie huffed bitterly, "everything was fine before you came home!"

It was like a blow to Grace's chest. All she was trying to do was protect them, protect _him_ from being abandoned again. Now he was mad at her? She shook her head and walked away. It was for his own good. For the plan. One day he'd understand. One day.


	4. Chapter 4

Steve laid awake on the bed in Mary's spare room, staring up at the ceiling. All of Thursday he had decided to give Danny space by visiting the others across the island. The people who still considered him family. But seeing them smile and hearing them laugh and hugging them tight didn't heal the aching wound in his heart because of Danny.

_We aren't family. Family doesn't leave._

The words had been tangled in his mind for days. Leaving was almost all Steve knew. Doris had left. John had sent him away, separating him from both Mary and Deb. He left that to join the navy. The navy took him all over the world, filling him with admiration and loyalty and wander lust by never letting him settle anywhere. His father died and left them for good. Steve came back and found Mary but she had to leave again for her own safety. Doris came back. She had to leave again. She came back again, but kept herself hidden away somewhere on the island, apparently with his now ex girlfriend's help. Catherine was like a yo-yo in and out of his life. Even when she left the navy and joined Five-O it was brief. Fleeting. Then she left again. So did Joe. So did Kono and Chin. So, for a brief moment of time, did Danny. Well almost.

Danny had been willing to leave. They didn't talk about it since but he had tried to leave. The moment he found out Rachel was pregnant his bags were packed and he was going to leave it all. Hawaii. Oahu. Five-O. _Steve..._ If Five-O had been on more solid ground at the time and Wo-Fat hadn't framed Steve for murder, maybe he would have gone. Maybe they would never have seen each other again. But he didn't go.

Rachel did. Rachel left. She left England, New Jersey, and Hawaii. She left Danny, Stan, Grace and Charlie. Just like Doris had left him.

But Steve wasn't Rachel. He always intended to come home. He was home. And he was desperate to spend time with Danny, but he was even more desperate to repair what damage he had caused to Grace. She was so young and she had already lost so much, he couldn't bare the idea of being shut out for good because he had left. But if he could just explain-

_You and Mary, you... God knows you deserved better. I-I just didn't know what else to do, Steve. I... But never once, did I spend a day not thinking about you._

_Is that supposed to make me feel better?_

_It's the truth._

_What am I supposed to do with that truth, huh? I just forgive you now, is that it, we move on?_

_No, I just... I'd just like you to understand.._.

Steve rolled over onto his stomach and buried his head under the pillow. The last thing he wanted was memories of _her_ to come flooding back to him. After all that wasn't a fair comparison. Doris had faked her death, caused the whole family to grieve, and lied to him his whole life! He had just gone away for eighteen months and not contacted them for just over six. The worst six months of their lives admittedly, but how was he to know Rachel would leave while he was away?!

He groaned into the mattress and pulled the pillow down harder across the back of his head. How was he going to explain his position to Grace when he couldn’t explain it to himself?

He had left. He had stopped contacting them. They went through a horrible turn of events that made them feel abandoned and he wasn’t there for them in that time, breaking the numerous promises he had made otherwise and causing them to feel abandoned twice. Of course she was mad at him. As far as she was concerned there were a handful of people she could wholeheartedly trust on this island and he wasn't one of them anymore.

Steve knew betrayal. He knew how it felt. Like a horrid mix of cold and lumpy concrete was poured down your throat and hardened through your body. Through your lungs and your veins and your muscles, until you're nothing but a brain and a heart. All the heart wants is to go back to the way things were, but the body knows that’s impossible and your brain is out to defend that poor idiot heart and prevent that from being damaged by the new cement casing.

The guilt that he had caused Grace that pain hung over him like a thunderous cloud, forbidding him from sleep.

The first step to fixing a problem was identifying it and Steve couldn't help feeling that there was more to this than anyone was giving up. He needed to know exactly _what_ was making them upset that he was back. Until he knew the exact reason he couldn't help.

Which is why he found himself spending his Friday night sitting on Danny's sofa with Charlie, waiting for Danny and Grace to come home while Mary and Joan stayed home, where it was safe. Danny was less than thrilled to find him waiting when he came home.

"Steve... you're like a boomerang. I can't seem to get rid of you," he said.

He hoped it sounded like a joke even if it felt like a curse. By the way Steve grinned at him afterwards, he thought he might have gotten away with it.

"Nope," Steve declared.

Danny glanced around. The house was quiet. Too quiet to contain two kids, Mary and Eddie.

"Where's Mary?" He asked.

"At home," Steve stated.

Danny's chest tightened. They couldn't be alone. They just couldn't. "Why? She's supposed to pick up Charlie and bring him home, why didn't the teachers stop you-"

Steve rolled his eyes, "Danny I went to the head teachers meetings when Charlie was being bullied. I picked him up and took him home when he was sick. I've brought him his lunchbox when he left it in the backseat! They know me, _they_ trust me."

"More fool them!" Danny huffed back.

Steve tilted his head slightly as he took in Danny. Danny felt a flush of regret. He didn't like being angry at Steve. No one knew him better. No one else knew about Marco Reyes. No one else would have stuck by him after it. That gave Steve a unique ability to read him like a book, right up until it mattered.

"You're mad at me," he said.

"I'm not, I'm - I'm not mad at you I'm mad near you," Danny huffed.

He couldn’t look Steve in the eye anymore. He really wasn't mad at Steve. He was just annoyed and frustrated by the way his heart always seemed to walk so freely over to Steve whenever he was around. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how far Steve pushed him, he always fell every time he came back.

After the frustration of seeing Catherine jerk Steve about like that for years, it had taken him far too long to see that Steve was doing the same thing to him. Not consciously, of course. Steve would never knowingly hurt him. But it still happened and it still hurt and it was even more frustrating now that Danny could see himself do it.

"What about?" Steve asked innocently.

Danny just sighed. He didn’t want to talk about this. Not today. Not now. "Why are you here Steve?"

"Because I want to know what I did wrong so I can make it right," Steve said firmly.

Danny glanced at the clock on the wall. He barely had enough time to finish getting ready and settle the butterflies that rose in his stomach whenever he thought about tonight. If he spent more time on Steve then he would be a nervous wreck by the time Harry arrived and that was definitely not sexy.

"Can it wait? I’m busy tonight," Danny said.

"Are you busy right now?" Steve asked.

Yes. He was. But ten years of unwavering loyalty took over and told him he should make time for Steve. Fucking traitor. 

"I _just_ came home. Can't I at least have a beer before my insane Neanderthal of an ex-partner ambushes me?" He argued.

The way that Steve's jaw slacked made Danny realise that he hadn’t even considered that he had been replaced. Obviously he had. Danny had been back work for months now, he needed a partner to watch his back. Steve wasn’t there to shoulder the responsibility, but someone had to.

"Who is your new partner?" Steve asked.

"What does that matter?" Danny asked.

"I'm just curious," Steve lied.

It was childish, he knew, but there was a flicker of jealousy in his gut at the idea of someone else being Danny's partner. That was Steve's role. Steve's title. Steve's responsibility. The idea that someone else could have Danny's complete and utter unshaking trust in the same way that Steve had... it didn’t sit right. But he didn't have time to push further. 

Grace pushed the front door open while staring down at her phone. It didn’t need unlocking. It never needed unlocking. But when she looked up and saw Steve she wondered why they had never changed their security system.

"Grace! Aloha!" Steve grinned.

Whether she was angry with him or not, whenever Steve looked at her he saw the same little girl that had survived a kidnapping and told him afterwards that she wasn't scared because she knew he and Danno would rescue her. That little girl he had vowed then and there to always protect. Even though she was mad at him, he had no intention of breaking that vow.

"Not again," She sighed impatiently.

"I'm trying to make amends," Steve promised, "I understand that you're upset with me so I want to talk to you- to you both, like we did in therapy to understand why you’re upset and what I can do to fix it."

"You can't fix six months of radio silence Steve, I thought you were-" Danny's stomach twisted. He couldn't bring himself to say it. "I thought something had, had happened..."

Steve tensed himself for Grace to say something along the lines of I wish it did but she just hung her head a little. There was a look on her face... Another wave of guilt washed over him.

"I... I didn’t think of that..." he admitted quietly.

"How not?!" Danny snapped, "After everything that's happened to us?! I almost died Steve, because I was-"

 _I have the person who matters most to you_. The threat was a plain one and by the way Steve's knees had buckled, it rang true too. Back then Danny had been the most important person in the world to Steve. And then he had left him behind sitting on a beach by himself, too wounded to follow. Danny never wanted him to go, but he figured if he was really the most important person to him then he would be back. Back soon too.

Not eighteen months later.

The guilt of reality settled on Steve's shoulders now as he realised the kind of fear they had been living with every time he failed to call. He had tried, but he couldn't bring himself to dial the number let alone call through. The post cards he has written felt too personal to send in the post too. They laid forgotten at the bottom of his suitcase instead.

"I'm sorry Danny. I should have stayed until after your PT, but Adam said he'd keep an eye on you and since we're all family-" Steve began.

Grace choked, "Fa- FAMILY?! _FAMILY?!"_

The fury that burned in her eyes stole the words from Steve and Danny's shoulders sagged as he gave him a plainly unimpressed look.

"You idiot."

 _"Family_ doesn't _leave_ Steve! Family doesn't _walk out_ and tear you apart! Family is loving each other enough to talk even when it's hard! Even when there's no time! _Making_ time! It's standing up and saying I need help because you know someone’s there to help you! It's admitting to problems and facing them together- _it's being together!_ It's not running away at the first sign of hard work, running away because you're too chicken to do the work, leaving everything you’re responsible for to someone else, someone who has had to shoulder your responsibilities on her own for years anyway, it's not _abandoning_ the people who love you without even saying goodbye! _YOU DIDNT SAY GOODBYE!"_

By that point the burning ache in Grace's chest had made its way into her throat and it felt like she was choking on lava. The red hot tears stinging her eyes were agony but the catch in her voice broke Steve's heart.

He could barely manage a whisper as his heart fell heavy on his vocal chords. "Gracie..."

 _"Don't."_ She sniffed. It was a hard but desperate order. She blinked away her tears, but her eyes were already red. "Don’t call me that, I can't - I can't bare it... you never said goodbye to me before so you don't need to say it now. Go."

Steve glanced towards the door as she finally pulled her eyes away from him, but he didn’t move. He was rooted to the floor. He was helpless. Danny had taken a step backwards. This was not his fight.

When he didn’t move she shouted again, _"Go!_ Get out!"

It took everything in him to stay and stand his ground. He couldn’t look her in the eye as he gave a small shake of his head.

"Not this time Grace."

"Not this time? Not this-" Grace sniffed harder, clearly furious all over again. She wiped her nose on her arm and straightened up as she hit a new decision. "Fine. If you're not going to go, I will. Because I don't need you anymore and I don't want you either!"

She turned on the spot and stomped to the door. Danny gulped as he moved to follow her.

"Grace-"

"Let her go Danny..."

"Grace wait!"

The door slammed shut and Steve staggered slightly as though it had hit him. He ached all over and his legs felt numb, but he couldn’t even feel his heart anymore. His head was spinning as he gripped the back of the sofa to hold himself up.

Danny let out a heavy sigh as he glanced at the clock again. There was no fixing this in time for anything. He wouldn't rush her, and she was more important than his plans. But god damn he had wanted to see Harry tonight.

"Great. _Great!"_ Danny huffed. He turned to face Steve. The man who had caused all these problems. As sorrowful as he looked, Danny couldn’t find it in him to care. After all this time, he wasn’t about to hold his tongue. "You got a lot of nerve, y’know that? First you show up unannounced right when I thought I could finally be happy without you, and now you've chased my daughter away! You've upset my daughter _again!_ After I warned you- _I warned you_! Don't say that around Grace, I said, she won't like it I said but oh no! No Commander McDumbass here has to go and do things his way! 

"Danno-" Steve began, under his breath. His eyes stayed low and hurt as the man he loved yelled at him. 

"I can't believe you still said it you _moron!_ And I bet now you want me to reassure you that she's not actually mad at you, that what she said she was saying to Rachel through you, and yeah, maybe she was, but that doesn’t mean it's not true! You left Steve. _You_ did that. I was alone, struggling to keep my family together, missing you- _I_ _needed you_! You weren’t there. You weren’t even answering the phone. And now you expect to just walk back into a happy family and a happy life, well no. No you have to earn that. You have to _deserve_ it. Right now, you just don't."

Steve's head could not get any lower. Even Eddie cowered in his basket at the tension in the air. The darkness swirling between them. The unspoken hurt finally spoken. But then Danny just sighed. This was broken. There wasn't any fixing it. He was sick of trying.

"I need you to leave so I can cancel my date," he said.

Steve's head snapped up. His eyes were wide with surprise and disappointment. "Your-"

"My date Steve, yeah. With the guy I've been seeing -yeah, I'm bisexual, big whoop, if you'd been here you'd know," Danny stated, bitterly, "Now I have to stay here and look after my son while we wait for my daughter to come home safely so I don’t get to go on that date. Mahalo for that."

Steve stared at the ground. His mind was churning, processing what had been shouted at him, and his heart had fallen out somewhere along the way without him being able to stop it. Danny stared at him, where he was still rooted to the ground.

 _"Leave!"_ He snarled.

Steve didn’t know what else to do. He had no trump card. He had no excuses. No words. Nothing. All he could do was just quietly left and shut the door behind him. His thoughts continued to recall things he would rather just forget.

_You don't get it, Steve. I got nothing to show for all my years in the Agency. Nothing. A whole life of-of fear and, and guilt for what? For what? What was the point of it all? I lost my husband, my children, I lost my identity._

_So you went for a payday?_

_It's always been so-so clear for you, hasn't it, Steve? So clear, so - Everything so simple and easy-_

_Oh, yeah. My life's a real cakewalk, Ma! You have no idea what this life has done to me. No idea of my loss._

_Stop thinking about yourself for one second, and think about my loss! A government that I gave everything to that has raked every shred of good out of me for its own benefit. A family that never understood me for the sacrifices I made for them-_

_You never made those sacrifices for us, Ma!_

_You didn't do it for them Steve_. Steve gripped the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white. This was not how tonight was supposed to go. This was not what he had planned. But that was the problem. You can't plan people.

Danny waited for the sound of the engine rolling down the road before he let out the aching breath he had been clinging to. His knees felt weak. Steve was gone. It wouldn't be for good. It never seemed to be for good. But for now it was long enough to phone Harry without facing backlash.

"Hello, Harry Langford speaking."

Danny took a long deep breath when he heard his voice. It was rich and warm and charming even in four words. Danny was already regretting having to cancel.

"Hey, it's me... look I'm so sorry, I know this is last minute but I have to uh, to cancel..."

"Everything alright?" Harry asked, concerned.

How do you tell your date that the man you've had a crush on for years has suddenly returned and is so desperate to retake his place in their family that he upset your daughter so much that she ran away and now can't baby sit?

Danny considered coming clean. Briefly. Steve had left before and he probably would again and even if he didn’t he never noticed Danny before. Not in the way he wanted. Not in the way that _Harry_ did. Danny would have been a fool to throw what he and Harry could be for what he and Steve probably wouldn't.

"Grace is feeling sick. I don't want to leave her with Charlie, it's not really fair on her."

It wasn't a complete lie. Grace usually felt sick after she had a tantrum. She swallowed too much air and it made her dizzy and made her stomach hurt. It always had since she was young.

"Ah. Don’t worry I understand perfectly. It's a shame, I was looking forward to seeing how well you scrub up in a proper suit and tie," Harry chuckled.

Danny's mind had been wandering but Harry's words brought him back. "My- my tie?"

"Yes Danny dear. Your tie," Harry said.

"You like my tie?" Danny's hand touched the knot instinctively.

"Well I like the ideas that come to mind when I think of what we could do with that tie," Harry purred.

It sent a wave through Danny that warmed his veins and made his lower half twitch. He smiled to himself at how easily Harry could change his mood.

"Down boy," he teased.

"Are we still on for Sunday? Maybe if it goes well we can take our date after that," Harry offered.

"Maybe we could just stay in with the kids... I know it's early to meet them but-"

Danny gulped. He wasn't really sure what he wanted Harry to say. On the one hand it was really too early to meet the kids, on the other, technically Danny had already met Harry's. Besides, with Steve shaking them up all the time Danny didn't want to stray too far from them.

"Are you sure? I don't want to put you under any pressure," Harry said.

There was doubt in his voice. It sounded like he was offering Danny an out. Like he understood that this was a big step and if Danny wasn't certian about it, he could change his mind now. After all when they were out together they didn't talk about the kids much. Not after the first three weeks of literally nothing else. Or maybe he just didn't want to meet the kids at all... 

Danny frowned at his own doubts. All he could manage to say was, "Um..."

"Why don't we play it by ear? If everything goes fine in the morning we'll see where the evening takes us, agreed?" Harry offered. 

Danny felt his chest ease with relief. It wasn't about avoiding the kids. Harry was just being cautious. Because unlike some people, Harry understood how volatile these situations could be. 

"That sounds great," Danny agreed.

There was a slight pause before Harry added, "if I may, you sound stressed. Remember to look out for yourself too Danny. You're no good to anyone if you're no good to yourself."

"Yeah I'll um... I'll take that under advertisement," Danny lied.

"See you soon."

"Aloha."

Danny tossed his phone aside and collapsed onto the sofa. He dropped his head back and covered his eyes with his hands. He could feel his heart throbbing anxiously at the lie. He didn't even known why he had lied. It just felt like he had to. This whole thing was ridiculous.

Charlie peered around the corner to check if his father was actually alone now. The voices had stopped arguing. There wasn’t any more shouting. It was quiet. Too quiet. Charlie timidly edged towards his dad. He glanced around. Uncle Steve was no where to be seen.

"Danno?"

Danny opened his eyes and sat up, alarmed. He had forgotten he wasn't entirely alone.

"Hey kiddo, what are you doing I thought you were upstairs?"

Charlie was wringing his wrists cautiously as he glanced around. "Did you send Uncle Steve away?"

Danny's chest heaved. "Oh buddy... Yeah. Yeah I did."

Charlie blinked at him, eyes wide with in innocence and disappointment. "Why?"

"I didn't..."

Danny looked at his son for a moment. The tiny boy had been through a lot in his little life. He had had a father who lived in another state and he only saw briefly once every few months, and then he had developed an illness that required a transplant from his real father, then he had faced his mother and new father constantly arguing and suddenly had to travel with his sister when she went away every other week, and then he had lost his favourite uncle, and then his sister had left for college and then he had lost his mother, and now...

Defending children from the darkness of the world by pretending it didn’t exist didn’t work because darkness was sneaky. It liked witnesses, whatever age. The only thing he could do now was try and explain to Charlie what was going on, as though he understood it himself.

"Sit down Charlie."

Charlie was hesitant. He had heard that tone before. Adults usually used it when they wanted to explain something they considered grown up and important and he rarely understood why. But he climbed onto the sofa to sit beside Danny anyway. Danny wrapped an arm around him. He tried hard to block out the memory of Charlie hiding under his bedcovers when Steve almost got hurt in a bed time story. When he loved, he loved with all the full and unbridled innocence of youth. That deserved protection. 

"Charlie... I know you love Steve, but you have to understand that... sometimes grown ups hurt each others feelings. Like when other kids are mean and it hurts your feelings, but, uh, but bigger. And sometimes they cause a lot of problems and... and, and they can't stay anymore... um..."

Danny's brow furrowed. This was difficult. Far more difficult than Danny had anticipated. And Charlie wanted to be helpful.

"They get excluded," he offered.

Danny blinked, "Huh?"

"When Taylor put pins on Mrs McKenzie's chair she said that it was the final straw and he got excluded from school."

"Um... yeah. Yeah sure, like that, good job buddy."

Danny wasn’t entirely sure how accurate Charlie's analogy was, but his mind was too busy whirling to offer an alternative. As long as he understood, that was all that mattered in the end.

"Taylor came back..." Charlie said, quietly. "He said he was sorry and they let him come back. Me and him went looking for frogs together for Mrs McKenzie because she said we're learning about tadpoles next week, but we couldn't find any."

"Right..." Danny said slowly. Now he was really feeling confused.

"So... maybe... if he's sorry... and since you should always forgive someone when they’re sorry... maybe Uncle Steve can come back too? And maybe... maybe next time there won't be any shouting..." Charlie said quietly.

Danny held in a sigh. He wished he still had the naivety of youth to protect him.

"Maybe bud. Maybe. You hungry?"

Charlie nodded. Danny ran a hand across his head to pull him close enough to kiss.

"I'm gonna order something from uncle Kamekona. You wanna come for the ride?"

"Isn’t Grace looking after me tonight?"

"Grace is..."

"Uncle Steve upset her too. I heard."

Of course he did. This place was old. The walls were thin. Mary had warned him of that but he had known from experience. Just something they forgot.

"But isn’t she coming back? You have a date tonight."

"How did you-" Danny paused. Little ears. They hear everything. "Not tonight Charlie. Soon but not... not tonight. C'mon, lets go find uncle Kamekona."

Charlie took Danny's hand and allowed him to lead him out to the car. As they drove through the city, Charlie watched the signposts and street lights pass by the window, and he thought to himself. If all they needed was for Uncle Steve to be sorry and for them to forgive him, Charlie could help with that. He was sure of it. They just had to remember why they loved Steve in the first place. Charlie clenched his jaw was steely determination.

He was going to get his uncle Steve back whatever it took.


	5. Chapter 5

"All I'm saying is that I _was_ around! For _ten years_ I was around! For ten years I was there beside him every day and not once- not _o_ _nce_ did he mention being bisexual! If I had _known-"_

"You would still been too chicken to do anything because it took you three years to ask _Catherine_ out when you knew you were both straight-"

"Well-"

"Both _into each other_ , and both likely to die at any opportunity. If it takes narrowly avoiding death to admit you like someone who definitely likes you back, it would take literally coming back from the dead for you to ask out Danny."

"That's not fair. No one can come back from the dead!"

"Mom did."

"Not funny."

Mary disagreed. In her defence she had written her mother off the second time she left their lives completely. Doris went on the run and neglected to even try contacting Mary again, and Mary already had Aunt Deb. She didn't need Doris. She didn’t want Doris. The trust fund she had left Joan was shoved aside and forgotten until Joan turned twenty one and the rest she left Mary was given away to the first charities that appeared on Google. It was a lot easier for her to joke about things like that. She actually had more jokes she could make in mind already. But Steve had never fully given up hope that Doris could be redeemed right up until the bitter end. And he didn't like to talk about that. Mary moved on without defending herself.

"Steve, Danny almost died because he was the most important person in your life and you repaid him for that by removing yourself from his life. _Of course_ he's hurt. And I'm telling you, he didn’t fully know he was bi until Harry came out to him, he told me," Mary explained.

Steve straightened his back, "Harry's gay?"

"Gay, bi, pan, something, I dunno. Harry's the kind of guy who would fuck anything that agreed. The brits man, they have no class," Mary waved her hand dismissively.

"Not Harry, he's all class. He's a good man," Steve said.

His mind trailed back to that day on the beach. Danny had teased him for drooling over Harry's new supermodel girlfriend but it wasn't her he was looking at. Harry was positively stunning. In low riding swim trunks little was left to the imagination. Tantalisingly so. But with that chest of his exposed, those muscles coated in water drops, Steve could imagine. Even now the idea of tasting those droplets just to feel the texture made his stomach clenched.

All the model girlfriends and all the flirting with any woman he ever met - maybe Steve really had been projecting the idea that all men were straight unless specifically stated out right. After all, it had been drilled into him repeatedly.

"Harry's a good one," he said slowly, "maybe I should give him a call..."

Mary pursed her lips and thought _I'll remind you of that later,_ but said, "Besides, did you ever tell him you were gay?"

"I'm- I'm not! I'm..." Steve tried to think of an answer and sighed in frustration when he couldn't. "I don’t know, I loved Catherine, and I've loved other women but there were a lot of hot guys in the Navy-"

 _"Stop!_ I do not want to hear about my big brother being topped by some fellow Lieutenant in Buds training," Mary cried.

Steve was going to apologise but a more pressing question presented itself, "What makes you think I was topped?"

 _"Stop!"_ Mary groaned. She considered crashing the car then and there if he didn’t. "Listen you're my brother and I love you but you’re being ridiculous."

"It's not ridiculous Mary! If I had known he could love me back like that maybe I would have noticed sooner!" Steve cried.

Mary's mouth dropped open and she looked away from the road to stare at him. "Back?"

Steve's stomach twisted. He already felt nauseous. Not driving really did make him feel car sick. But Mary catching his little slip, _t_ _hat_ made him nauseous for other reasons.

"What?" He asked innocently.

"You said love you back. Are you finally admitting that you love him?" She demanded.

"I..."

Everything in his mind told him to lie. They gave out medals for killing men, they gave out unemployment for loving them. That early brain washing to never admit to that part of him was resilient. But the rest of him was so painfully, hopelessly, _desperately_ in love with Danny that he didn't have the strength to lie anymore. He had wandered the world for a year and now he just wanted to lay down in his bed, beside _Danny._

He sighed heavily. "Of course I do. I always have. Since Korea, I think. But he couldn’t love me back so I left to find someone who could and, and, and maybe I would have if I could ever stop thinking about _him!"_

Once the dam had broken nothing could be stopped. Confession followed confession, and Mary just had to wait.

"Them. I can't stop thinking about them..."

Mary tried to control herself despite the scream suffocating her lungs. "Them?"

"Them," Steve nodded. "All three of them... I was in Spain. Somewhere east of Barcelona. There was a little village where this kid was learning how to be a bullfighter. He was about Charlie's age and when he fell over his grandfather wrapped him up in his cloak and kissed his nose to stop him crying. I remember wondering if Danny tried that on Charlie. I wanted to text him but I didn't know how to say it. And there was a necklace in Istanbul - it was mother of pearl but it was this beautiful shade of blue, really, really blue, and it made me think of that time Grace put blue extensions in her hair and Danny nearly had a heart attack because he thought they were real..."

The memory of Danny clutching his chest as Rachel unclipped the extentions from Grace's hair and Grace giggled made Steve smile wistfully. That little jab of nostalgia ached harder when he realised he had just walked away from it.

"I can't stop thinking about them Mary. They’re always in my mind wherever I go. All three of them. I... I don't understand how Rachel could leave and then I remember that I..."

It hurt to admit it. It hurt to think it. Saying it felt impossible.

"You left too," Mary said for him.

Steve groaned and laid his head back against the head rest. "Danny's right. I'm an idiot."

Mary waited to see if anything else would be said. When nothing was, she knew it was time to give her two cents worth. But she tried to control that too. This was not her fight. Technically she wasn't involved at all. She didn't want to get caught in the middle. But she definitely had an opinion.

"Yeah. You're an idiot. But you've been an idiot the whole time they've known you and it didn't matter before," she said.

Steve rolled her eyes. She was not reassuring, but she was all he had. "I don't think I can fix this. Maybe they would be better off without me."

She scowled in disagreement, "What? Now that really is stupid. Leaving caused the problems the first time it won't fix them this time!"

"I don’t think anything can Mary," he insisted.

"You're Steven McGarrett!" She argued loudly, "You've done a million stupid and impossible things and it's always worked out before! No one said it was easy, but not easy is where you shine! You’ve got a head that’s too thick for its own good and a stubborn belief that you’re always right even when you’re wrong and somehow you prove everyone wrong every time! If _I_ said this was impossible you'd go out there and make things better by morning, but now _you_ think its impossible so you wont even try? That's stupid. And if you don't try and at least apologise to Grace then you'll have to find somewhere else to live because I don’t want you setting Joan a bad example!"

She started like it was supposed to be encouraging, but there was a growing impatience to it by the end. Steve stared at her, slack jawed for a moment, before shaking his head and rolling his eyes.

"Nice speech. It didn't really make me feel better, but-"

"I don't care how you feel Steven! You're an adult! When adults fuck up they apologise! Say sorry to Grace and set a good example for the kids, _like a grown up_!" She snapped.

Steve recoiled back against his chair. Maybe it was childish to say so but he had been expecting Mary to just take his side. He wasn’t sure why. Family loyalty perhaps. Except their family had never been great at that before so he really shouldn’t have relied on it now.

"When did you become such a mom?" He grumbled.

"When Aunt Debs left me a notebook with some tips and told me that most of being an adult is winging it and holding your hands up when you get it wrong," Mary stated.

"Aunt Debs was always a smart woman," he muttered.

Mary agreed. Steve's bruised ego deflated further. He had been so wrapped up in thinking about Doris that he had stopped thinking about Aunt Deb and everything she had given up for them both to have somewhere to feel welcome. She was more of a mother than Doris had ever been, and Mary had learned everything she could from her instead. Neither of them really pulled their punches.

Steve leaned his head back again and said, quietly, "Danny'll never forgive me."

"I'm sure he's forgiven worse," Mary shrugged.

Steve thought for a moment. His mind trailed back to a little house, barely more than a shack, where he had held his last father figure in his arms as he bled out and died. Three months he had stayed there. Catherine was with him for most of it. She helped with the locating potential sources of information for Steve to torture into admission. Danny had been uncomfortable from the moment he landed but he didn’t shy away. Montana was his lowest ebb and Danny had stood by him through it. Come to think of it so had Harry.

"Even if he forgives me, things will never go back to how they were," Steve said.

"Nothing ever does, you’re fifty years old haven’t you realised that yet?!" Mary huffed.

"I'm forty four!" Steve argued.

"My point still stands!"

The argument was set aside for later when the car engine was switched off. They waited by the bottom steps of the school door for the kids to be freed. Charlie waited on the inside by the doors for Joan, as he always did, so they could walk out together. Joan waved when she saw her mother. Charlie stopped dead when he saw Steve. He yelled nonsense from the top step and darted down the stairs to throw himself at Steve like he hadn't seen him in years. Steve laughed affectionately as he hugged him back.

"Uncle Steve!"

"Hey Charlie! Why are you so excited? Something good happen at school?"

"I didn’t think I was gonna see you again! I'm happy you’re still here!"

 _Ouch._ Steve forced a smile as he ruffled Charlie's hair. "I told you, I'm back for good bud. Full time. I’m not going anywhere."

Charlie beamed back at him. If his plan went the way he expected it to, that much would be true. Joan held a piece of paper up to Mary.

"Mama look what I made!"

"Wow! That’s beautiful baby! What, uh, what is it?"

"It's Eddie! _Duh!"_

Steve leaned over to see what his niece had drawn. It was a messy looking dog. It's ears were longer than it's legs, it's tail went across the whole page, and it was very round, but it did look a dog sort of shape. Except purple with green whiskers and orange eyes.

"Yeah Mar, it's Eddie, _duh._ It looks just like him!" He scoffed.

Mary gave him a look, but he just grinned back. "Y’know Joanie, Uncle Steve rescued Eddie, didn't you uncle Steve?"

"Yeah, yeah I did. He and I just sort of clicked and, well, I love him. I'm not sure I'd be here without him," Steve admitted.

Honestly he hadn’t expected to miss Eddie as much as he had. He was just a dog. Except he was more than that. Much more. He was a solider and a cop and a friend. He had saved Steve's life twice just by doing his job, saved Tani and Junior from a tunnel collapse, Lou from being shot, and there were a few days there where feeding the dog was the only reason Steve got up in the morning. On low days, when Danny was away, Eddie was all he had. If he hadn't had to take care of Eddie, and if Eddie hadn't been there to comfort him when the nightmares came, Steve sometimes wondered if he would have attempted suicide. He liked to think the answer was no, but he had returned to the help meetings just to keep himself in check.

"Can we go see him?!" Joan asked eagerly.

Mary made a mental note to restock her allergy medication. "No baby, you've got dance practice today, remember? We're gonna go home and have some food and then we gotta head out."

"Are you coming uncle Steve?" Joan asked hopefully.

"To watch you dance?" Steve asked. He had been dragged along to Mary's recitals as a kid and had always hoped never to go back. But he had nothing else to do and Joan looked so keen... "Of course I am! I wouldn't miss it for the world!"

"Can I come?" Charlie asked hopefully.

He just wanted a little extra time with Steve, without all the shouting that would inevitably follow.

"Gracie's coming to pick you up buddy. If you want we can call her and ask-" Mary began.

"No. It's okay. I'll go with Grace," Charlie shook his head.

"You sure?" Steve asked.

"Yeah. I don't want her to get mad again," Charlie said.

Steve felt a twinge of guilt. He really hadn’t meant to make her so angry. "You're a good brother Charlie."

Somewhere in the ten foot walk to the door from the car, Charlie acquired a stick. Keen to play, he immediately became a Jedi master. Now he was playing happily in the garden, trying to slice an unarmed Joan in two with his lightsabre.

"Should we stop this before one of them gets hurt?" Steve asked.

Mary set a cup of coffee on the table beside him and followed his gaze out of the window.

"Nah. At least they're using their imagination. I’ve seen kids their age with ipads that can't think for themselves in any way. I'll take bruises and tears over a mindless zombie any day," she said.

"It can't be that bad out there," Steve said.

"I could be exaggerating, but I don’t think so. This is a vacation paradise remember? Tourists don't care what their kids do as long as they're quiet. Even if it's sitting on a lounger staring at their screens all day," Mary said.

Steve gave her an amused smile. "I never had you down as a technophobe."

"I'm not afraid of technology Steve, I'm worried about how far it'll go. I love my daughter, I don't want her to upload her whole life onto a screen and have it downloaded and sold away abroad," Mary countered.

"Identify theft has gotten a lot easier in the last few years but I'm pretty sure even they aren’t going to rob an eight year old girl," Steve smirked.

"Easy target," Mary countered.

"Not that one. I’ve known a more than a few aloha girls and every one of them has been ready to win a fight," Steve smiled

"Ladies don’t start fights, but we can finish them." Mary sipped her coffee pointedly.

_**"OWWW!"** _

_"OHMYGODIMSOSORRYIDIDNTMEANIT!"_

The cries came from the garden and both adults looked up to hear it. Steve looked far more alarmed than Mary did.

"Ut oh, what'd you do now?" He asked.

"Just watch," Mary smiled knowingly.

That seemed ridiculous but Steve did as he was told. He looked back out through the window to see Charlie fussing over Joan. The stick laid forgotten on the ground as he checked to make sure she was okay. Then he held out his hand like he was offering her his arm. She wiped her eyes on the back of her hand like she was trying not to cry, screwed up her face, and slammed her fist with all of her might into his upper arm. Charlie hissed in pain as he clutched hold of it and stumbled slightly. Steve hissed in sympathy. Beside him, Mary chuckled. The children finished their conversation and moved on to playing tag.

"Both of them are now hurt so its equal," Mary stated, simply.

Steve stared at her in wonder and confusion. This made almost no sense to him. An eye for an eye was an excuse that had never been allowed for his actions, but here Mary was, accepting it from the kids.

"What?"

"Kid logic," Mary shrugged. "Kids are governed by their own sense of justice."

"Were we ever like that?" He asked.

He found it hard to remember his childhood. He had spent so long avoiding those memories when they brought him grief over his mother's passing, and he avoided them harder when that grief was replaced by hurt and anger and now they were so long ago he had forgotten a lot of them.

"All the time. We never told our parents anything if we could settle it ourselves," Mary said.

Steve didn't remember that, but he liked that Mary could. He liked that he had someone who could tell him good things about his youth, without having to remember the pain. And he liked that she understood it too. Mary understood him better than almost everyone. Almost. And after everything they had been through he was proud of her for the person she had grown into.

"You’re a good mom," he smiled.

Mary looked back to smile at him, just in time for her eye to catch Grace pulling into the driveway.

"I’m a good sister too, go hide."

It felt wrong to be hiding from Grace. He leaned against the door of the guest room to try and listen in to hear what was being said, if she asked about him, or mentioned Danny, or his new boyfriend Steve wanted to know. He wanted to know as much about _him_ as possible. But whatever Grace said she deliberately said quietly to Mary and Mary would keep it secret. It wasn’t for Steve's ears and as frustrating as that was, he knew he wasn’t in control this time.

_She's not coming, is she?_

_I mean, you can't blame her, Mom. She thought you were dead._

_Where's she staying?_

_..._

_Okay. I'll just track her down myself. Acquiring target locations is actually a specialty of mine, so–_

_Mom. Mom, Mary's your daughter; she's not a target._

_... I'm sorry._

_Look Give her some space, okay? Give her some time. When she's ready, she's gonna come to you._

_And what if that never happens?_

The door swung open and he leapt back from it to pretend he hadn’t been listening to anything at all. Mary put her hands on her hips. She didn't believe him, but she didn't question it enough for him to lie.

"You ready?" She asked.

He blinked, confused, "Huh?"

"Joanie's dance lessons. You coming or what?"

"Y-yeah, yeah, I'm... I'm coming..."

Grace had avoided being in Mary's house as much as possible by passing through straight into the garden to find Charlie. She then ushered him out to the car through the side gate. Despite him grumbling that he didn’t get to say goodbye to Steve, he obeyed. Grace let out a sigh of relief when the house exited the rear-view mirror without so much as a glimpse of Steve.

Charlie tapped his toes together thoughtfully as he attempted to be subtle. A word that, in his youthful ignorance, he didn’t yet know, let alone understand.

"What's a date Grace?"

Grace's eyebrows rose. "Uh, it's when two people - grown ups, usually, go out to have a fun time together and see if they get along."

"Like a playdate?" Charlie asked.

"Sort of except sometimes dates lead to marriage and... Why?" Grace asked.

"Because I heard Danno tell Uncle Steve he was going on a date."

Grace tightened her grip on the steering wheel. She stared hard at the road ahead and slowed her driving instinctively. This was a distraction and she had learned from painful experience that distractions while driving were dangerous. Another crash was something they didn't need right now.

"You did huh?" She asked, cautiously.

"Yeah. With someone called Harry. Uncle Steve sounded really upset," Charlie said.

"Did he..." she said slowly.

Something deep within her ached. Some long buried desire to see the two of them together, happy. She had buried it as deep as it could go but it was still there. Still alive. That empathetic sting wanted to know more, but the rest of her did not.

"I think Danno should marry Uncle Steve, don’t you Grace? Then he could be around all the time again! Don’t you think so too?"

Grace opened her mouth to answer but she couldn't decide what to say. The pregnant pause hung in the air between them...

"What did you learn at school today?"

Charlie's shoulders fell. She wasn’t going to play along like she used to before. When they were younger, they used to talk about Danny marrying Steve and moving in together and designing their own bedrooms in Steve's house- a future they had lived with just one obvious lack. One that Grace now avoided and Charlie was desperate.

"Grace?" He said, quietly.

Despite the weight on her chest Grace put on a cheery tone. "Yeah chickadee?"

"Will you ever forgive Uncle Steve? He's really sorry."

Grace froze. "I..."

Words didn’t exist in her mind. Thoughts weren’t coherent in any way. It was just feelings, splashed across her mind, like paint across a canvas. If any abstract artist had been able to turn her thoughts into a presentable feature they would have won prizes. But for Grace, it was just dark and gloomy and it hurt to stay there too long.

But when she glanced back at Charlie, her chest heaved.

His big blue eyes were wide and innocent. He was too young to begin to understand. She couldn't. But someone had to give him an answer.

"I don't know Charlie," she sighed. "I want to, I think, but..."

"It's always better to forgive because anger eats you up inside and causes people to make big mistakes like hurting other people because they're hurt too. That's what Uncle Jerry says," Charlie said, gently.

Grace pulled a face but said, "Uncle Jerry is... a smart man."

"I just want us all to live happily ever after again, like before. Like when we went to the zoo and Uncle Steve brought me a balloon. Remember that Gracie?" He urged.

"I..."

Two balloons, as it happened. Both shaped like monkeys. He let go of the first one by accident and it flew away. The second time Steve taught him how to make a slipknot so he could keep it on his wrist but not trap it there. Danny and Grace had complained about the waste of plastic, but then Steve paid for Grace to get her face painted like a butterfly. Since it didn’t feel very grown up to her anymore and she was too shy to do it alone, he got himself painted as a tiger, and Danny told him he'd always known he was an animal. The memory gave her stomach a knot of nostalgia that flooded with hurt.

Back then it was so easy to love Steve. He was like oxygen. You didn’t have to think about it, he was just there. Making life easy. And having it snatched away so quickly without even a goodbye made it so much harder to breath and now her lungs were like sandpaper.

"I don’t understand why everyone’s mad at uncle Steve. What did he do?" Charlie insisted.

"Its...." Grace's knuckles were white on the steering wheel, "its complicated..."

"Then make it uncomplicated!" Charlie huffed.

"If I knew how to do that it wouldn’t be so complicated!" She snapped back.

"I don’t understand!" Charlie cried desperately, "So what, he left, he came back! _You_ left, no ones mad at you! What makes uncle Steve leaving so bad?!"

"I... I-" Grace's chest felt tight.

Untangling this mess was something she didn’t want to do. It was easier to just step around it. But Charlie was demanding answers and they were trapped in this car together. She didn’t have a choice. It was frustrating.

"Look, it's hard okay? People leaving sucks but sometimes, with me, you know they're gonna come back. None of us thought we'd ever see Steve again and that he might... We thought we'd never seen him again..."

She ignored the hot tears in her eyes with all the power she had left in her. It had crossed her mind on numerous occasions. If, somehow, something bad happened to Steve while he was away, how would they know? Hundreds of people went missing every day, Danny was a cop, he knew that. Sometimes, if its a john doe, they don’t get identified. If they're... _badly mangled,_ they can't be identified. And Steve still had enemies out there. Anything could have happened.

The last of his post cards arrived three weeks after Rachel left. Grace didn’t find out for another two weeks. When she finally heard that he had been in contact, it was like getting one last gasp of air while struggling against a riptide.

One just isn’t enough.

"And that's all the more reason to be happy he’s back. Uncle Chin said that ohana means the spirit of aloha and that means love and love means forgiveness so stop being so mad at uncle Steve. It's not that complicated."

In Charlie's mind, it really wasn’t. Steve left and everyone was sad and things went wrong but now Steve was back. Things should have been happy and everything should have been normal again. It happened like that in the movies! Except now they weren’t just sad they were angry too. It didn’t seem fair.

"Charlie-" Grace began, inhaling to indicate a speech that could not be argued with was about to follow.

Before she could, he argued, "Ohana means family and family means no one left behind. or forgotten!"

Grace's shoulders sagged further. She glanced at Charlie in the mirror. He folded his arms and gave a firm nod, sticking his bottom lip out so stubbornly that he might as well have had "WILLIAMS" printed across his forehead. Her chest eased mildly at that realisation. No matter what else happened, _he_ was her family, and Steve was still his. Maybe, for his sake, she could find a way to get past this.

One day.

Maybe...

For now she gave him a soft smile and muttered, "I hate it when you use ohana against me."


	6. Contains Smut

Harry didn’t have a car on the island so he travelled everywhere in a rental. Of course he got the most sleek and elegant black Lamborghini he could find. Low to the ground and polished till it shone, when that bad boy roared down the street Danny knew exactly who was stepping out of it.

"I thought spies were supposed to be low key," Danny teased.

Harry swaggered up to him like he was walking straight out of a Bond film, and lowered his sunglasses to wink at Danny.

"It's so overt, it's covert," he purred.

Before Danny could speak, Harry pulled him forward, into the hard, passionate kiss he'd been eagerly thinking about for days now. His tongue circled Danny's until it fought him back. A small and intimate battle that ended with Harry biting Danny's bottom lip and squeezing his arse for good measure.

Danny was certain he had gone red the moment he was released, but his skin was tingling at the touch and the twitching beneath his waistline demanded a rematch.

"Someone's cocky today," Danny smirked.

"Are you? I could fix that if you like," Harry purred in a low tone.

A spark burned in Danny's loins and he felt his cheeks flush as his mind created theories on how Harry would treat him in bed, based solely on that kiss.

He couldn't resist it.

Danny latched onto Harry and dragged him back into another kiss. This time Danny was in charge. For two seconds. Then Harry adjusted his position, lowering his jawline to fit closer against Danny's. His hand reached up to cup his face as Danny's hands tangled in his hair. Danny allowed him to control their kiss. The way Harry's tongue could move elicited a groan from him that spurred Harry on.

He was more adventurous. His hands more curious. They moved down Danny's arms, across his waist, and tugged him closer to remove the space between their hips. Danny responded by arching against him. He rolled his body against Harry's to get a better purchase.

Danny felt another tingle down his spine as he felt a devilish chuckle vibrate through his jaw.

Harry's hand slipped under his belt.

Danny broke away with a gasp. His eyes widened as Harry's free hand clamped him still. Harry's own eyes were hooded and mischievous.

"How long has it been Danny? Weeks? Months?"

Danny just gulped. He knew the answer down to almost the day. He'd never admit that though.

"Have you ever..." Harry's hand slipped lower, cupping curiously as he felt Danny's whole body twinge, "committed acts of public indecency?"

"I-I-"

Danny's mind was firmly in his pants. Harry's smile widened wickedly as he trailed a long line with his finger, from the tip of Danny's cock, up. The red flush on his cheeks deepened. Harry leaned in closer. He rested his head against Danny's ear.

"Should I stop?"

His voice was a low whisper, his breath hot on Danny's earlobe. If that wasn’t enough, he punctuated the question mark by dragging his nose across Danny's collar bone until he could suck the bare flesh of his neck. Danny's knees bucked. He heard Harry chuckle again.

"I need an answer dear. Here-" Harry gently kissed the same spot he had just sucked, "or there..."

He paused his movements long enough to give Danny a fighting chance. It didn't take long for Danny's pants to feel way too tight, but here in his driveway was a little too exposed.

"In there. _Now!"_ Danny snarled.

Harry chuckled, "yes _sir."_

The word sent another wave of longing across Danny and he grabbed Harry's hand to hurry him inside. It was hard to run with a bulge in his pants like that, but they didn’t need to go far. The kids had left only a few minutes ago and they weren't due home for hours.

There were two audible slams.

The first was the front door slamming shut. The second was Danny pinning Harry against it. The instant they were in private he got his own back on Harry. He clawed at his shoulders until he was low enough for Danny to suck his neck, right at the edge of his jawline. To reach it he had to press his entire body against Harry's, further pinning him to the door.

The friction between them was unbearable. The clothes separating them were cruel and unfair and would have to be removed. A problem that Harry was keen to fix.

"Think you can make it upstairs before you explode?" Harry teased.

"Don't challenge me, English," Danny snarled back.

"I could carry you if you prefer-"

"Don’t you even dare!"

Danny had no doubt that Harry could carry him upstairs to bed but the idea of it was not one that filled him with masculinity. This had immediately become a battle for dominance and Danny wasn’t about to give him any quarter.

They had to get to Danny's room before their clothes could come off. They had to. If the kids came home- if _Grace_ came home, to find clothes rumpled on the floor, she would know. She would be disgusted. She would avoid him. With everything she was going through Danny couldn’t afford to put any distance between them. The moment the door slammed fabric went flying.

"Ha _rry!"_

The way Danny's eyes widened when Harry's boxers hit the floor did not surprise Harry in the least. There was a reason he could get away with his arrogance, and it wasn’t just the accent.

"Don’t be intimidated dear, the bigger the size the larger the pleasure," Harry purred between nips of Danny's neck.

It didn't help that it was already flat against his stomach, like an arrow to his belly button. But Harry's fingers were tracing circles into his thighs that made his brain go to goo so he didn’t have time to be intimidated. He closed the gap between them again by hitting his waist against Harry's, but gasped himself at the sensation.

While Harry was his first official male date - first considerable boyfriend - he was not the first man that Danny had been intimate with. All the times before though - all of which were years ago now, before he'd even graduated from the academy - it had been desperation. Rough and ready in club bathrooms. There was no intimacy, no affection, not even names usually. It was a part of himself that he had always pretended was just seeking relief.

But this?

The sensation of Harry's erection against his, both as full of longing - of _l_ _ust_ for one another, this was new. It sent a shiver so strong through Danny that Harry's hand moved to hold him up.

"You alright?" He checked, quickly.

"I want you. Right here. Right now," Danny said, firmly.

Harry jaw dropped. It was the first time that Danny had seen him so utterly speechless. Danny planned to keep him that way.

He dropped to his knees with Harry still stuck against the bedroom door. Harry's hand moved to lock it as Danny's mouth wrapped around his cock. He groaned as Danny inhaled him.

It was messy. It was eager. It was desperate. Danny moved as fast as his muscles would allow him too, fluctuating between sucking and licking in the same way that had been done to him in clubs back in the day. When his head plunged all the way down and he felt Harry's hips buck instinctively it sent a ripple through him so violently that his hand spend up on his own cock.

Harry tried to move but Danny was in control now. He wasn't going to stop until every thought he'd ever had about Harry was satisfied. Till he was no longer curious about Harry's body. That started with how he tasted.

Salty. At least the pre-cum was. Danny sucked all the way up till he had taken his mouth away, sending Harry's head back against the door with a groan, so that he could pay attention to his balls for a moment. It only took a moment. A light, playful nip sent Harry crashing against the door. His hands wrapped themselves into Danny's hair, tugging it pleadingly. Danny grinned. He sucked harder. Harry crashed again. Danny left his balls with one last lick, before plunging all the way down Harry's girth. He would have landed against Harry's hips if his gag reflex hadn’t stopped him.

Harry bucked. He came with a grunt, directly into Danny's mouth. Danny swallowed with a satisfied smile as Harry collapsed onto his shoulders for support.

"Where the _fuck_ did you learn that?" He panted.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Danny smirked back.

Harry glanced him up and down like he was a new person. His eyes flicked down onto his still hard cock, and he knew there wasn't time to waste. Danny hadn't had sex in thirteen months, and even that was a disappointing one night stand. It took almost no effort to make him cum just as fully as Harry had. The two of them laid back, a panting mess on the bedroom floor.

"Do you think we crossed the line?" Danny asked.

Harry raised his chin to look at him. "Do you?"

Danny hummed thoughtfully. If the line between friendship and something more was in the sand then they might have just kicked some dirt over it. It would be tricky to fix, but it could be done. If they wanted to go back they could. Not that he wanted to go back. If this was the edge of the line Danny was curious as to what was a step.

"We didn't make it to the bed," Danny said.

"No. But I needed that," Harry panted. "I've been so worked up about today I needed the release."

"Why what's today?" Danny asked.

"I thought post cum clarity meant you remembered things clearer," Harry teased. He rolled onto his stomach to kiss Danny's side, just above a faded scar. "It's Sunday, dear boy."

"Oh God, your call, I forgot!" Danny hissed apologetically.

"I think I can forgive you, given what you just did to me," Harry assured him.

"Honestly? I've wanted to for weeks," Danny grinned.

"Only weeks? I’m crushed. I've wanted to do this with you since London. I think it was that suit you were wearing. I work with a lot of men in uniform but some of them wear one better than others. Makes them look all the better when it comes off."

As he spoke Harry kissed Danny's chest. His tongue circled his nipples, sending another bolt of electricity through him. Danny waved his hand idly in a vauge attempt to stop him.

"Stop it, if we do this again we'll never get anything done and then the kids will come home," he warned.

"Pity. You look ravishing."

Harry bit into Danny's collar. Despite the pain, the pleasure that writhed through Danny made his lower half twitch again.

_"Stop!"_

Harry chuckled and sucked a hickey into the bite mark instead. When he leaned back to admire it, he took in Danny's entire upper half. The bare, hairy chest with his scars from work plainly stitched back together. The purple hickey now formed on his collar. The messed up blonde hair that he hadn’t yet tried to fix. The flushed cheeks that only made his plump lips look redder. Those bright blue eyes that followed him when he moved...

Those were Harry's favourite.

Danny's eyes were full of emotions, even when the rest of him was kept under control. He didn’t say a word as Harry admired him, but his head was full of questions. Harry could see them. Harry leaned down to lay a kiss on Danny's lips, soft enough to make him close those beautiful eyes again.

"You're right. If we don't get dressed Soph's first question will be one I don't want to answer, and I don’t have enough answers for the ones that I do," he muttered.

Danny let out a long and disappointed sigh. "This is the second time I've ever been so disappointed to be right."

"What was the first?" Harry asked.

"Probably when Rachel said I was right that this wasn't working. Of course I meant we needed to find a new way to work things out and she meant she needed to find someone new to fuck, so really I should have seen it coming that she would leave again-" the tension in Danny's voice grew.

"Shhh," Harry whispered.

He kissed Danny again to silence the rant before it could go any further. It was very effective.

"Rachel gave you two children that you love more than life itself. Whatever else she did no longer matters. You have your children, and she's alone in London. Don't hold onto the anger, it eats at you," Harry said.

It had taken a lot to stop Harry's anger from getting in the way when Helen went back to her husband. It had taken six months, much alcohol, and a promise that he would be called the moment she went into labour. Helen had called him before she left for the hospital and he had driven her there. He was there to hold his daughter on the day she was born. He was the first to ever hold her.

Lord Mortimer turned up the next morning with a bunch of flowers and an excuse.

"Danno? Are you here?!"

Danny's eyes widened to hear Grace's voice. He sat up like he had been burned and flew to the door to make sure it was locked.

"What are you doing here Grace?!"

Despite the tightness in his lovers tone, Harry showed no signs of embarrassment. In fact, he just seemed amused. He leaned up on his elbows to watch the way Danny's muscles tensed as he tried to keep some dignity.

"Are you in your room? Who's car is outside? I think Charlie's going to steal it," Grace said.

Before Danny could answer Harry called, "The keys are in the bowl by the door if he's keen."

Danny froze and Harry grinned. His arse cheeks clenched and Harry couldn’t take his eyes off them. Grace gulped.

"I take it that's Harry. I will be downstairs. With Charlie. Outside. In Harry's car. Or driving it into a lake - CHARLIE!"

Her footsteps were light as she sprinted to get away from the door. Danny groaned and dropped his head against it as he heard the front door slam hard downstairs. Harry chuckled. He rose to his feet and ran a hand across Danny's waist and up his chest as he kissed his shoulder.

"That was mortifying," Danny grumbled.

"She would have worked it out when we came downstairs together," Harry said.

"She- yeah she would..."

Grace had enough skills to become a Detective for herself. As proud as that made him, sometimes it was horrifying. She could unravel his secrets like an expert. He couldn't shield her from the dangers anymore, all he could do was be there if she needed him.

And she needed him now.

Danny smoothed his hair as he eyed the Lamborghini from the window. Harry smoothed his shirt, but didn’t bother to button it the whole way up. Seeing his exposed collar with it's new purple marks made Danny's cheeks flush. He tugged his own collar, trying to hide the marks Harry had left on him. Harry watched him intently.

"Would you like me to stay in here while you prepare them?" He asked.

Danny licked his lips again. He glanced between the car and Harry, and nodded, "Would you mind?"

"Not at all. I think I could use a moment too," Harry lied.

"It's gonna be fine," Danny said as he took a deep breath.

"Are you telling me or convincing yourself?" Harry asked.

"Yep."

Grace was sat in the passenger seat while Charlie was in the drivers seat, on his knees, making engine noises. He kept pressing buttons and yelling for imaginary adversaries to get out of the way. Danny leaned on the roof to watch him through the rolled down window.

"Having fun?" He asked.

Charlie beamed at him, "This car is super cool! Like the batmobile!"

"Careful not to break anything okay, we can't afford any jelly beans in this cars AC," Danny warned.

"We haven't got any jelly beans," Charlie countered.

Danny was about to reply when he glanced into the back seat and realised it was empty. "Where's Joan?"

The mood in the car shifted slightly. Charlie slumped a little and his engine noises were a little less enthusiastic. Grace finally looked up at her father, but couldn't meet his eye.

"With Uncle Steve. Aunt Mary said that since she had a baby sitter at home already it's easier for her to leave Joan with him than to drop her off here and collect her later."

"Lucky," Charlie grumbled.

"Charlie was so annoyed that he wouldn't pick a movie so we had to come home," Grace finished.

"It's not fair that Joan gets to see uncle Steve all the time! I want to go to the polypesia centre too!" Charlie whined.

"Polynesian Centre," Grace corrected. 

" _That's what I said!"_

He now fell away from the steering wheel completely. There was no sense of joy on his face anymore. The disappointment was written across it instead.

"He is her uncle," Danny said gently.

"He's my uncle too!" Charlie argued.

"Not by blood," Danny muttered.

"Is blood all that matters?" Charlie complained.

"No, of course not, I just mean..."

Danny wasn’t sure what he meant. Logically he knew that Joan wasn't technically Steve's blood either. No matter how much Steve had wanted to be a father, there were no children in his bloodline anymore. Not that he ever complained. He had just staked a claim on Danny's kids instead and they had claimed him right back. Which was why Charlie was so disappointed not to be spending time with him now. Danny looked back towards the house. Harry was waiting for something important. Danny didn't want the kids to disturb it.

"Isn’t there any movie you'd like to see? Anything at all?" He urged.

"The one Uncle Jerry gave me about the beetles that take over the planet after eating chocolate that makes them super big. It's in my room, can I watch it on the big screen?" Charlie sat up hopefully.

"No, we uh... we're not using the big screen today bud. Unc..." Danny's mouth stopped him from finishing the word. It somehow felt unnatural to gift Harry a title he hadn't earned. That's why Stan was always Step _Stan_ and neve step dad. "Harry's come for a visit and we need to do something very important so we need the house to be quiet, okay?"

Charlie pouted but he thought for a moment. "Can I show Grace the magic show Uncle Steve and I made?"

"It's kind of loud isn’t it?" Danny asked uncertainly.

"We can do it in the attic," Grace offered.

Danny looked confused, "We have an attic?"

Charlie nodded eagerly, "Aunt Mary and Uncle Steve-"

Danny leaned down closer and said quietly, "Okay, Charlie listen to me okay. I know you're really excited that Steve's back okay, but Harry and Steve aren't very good friends at the moment. He might get a little... upset if you mention him. Can you do me a big favour and not mention Steve in front of Harry for me?"

Charlie opened his mouth to protest. He looked to Grace for support. She wouldn't look his way. Charlie looked back up at Danny. He was outnumbered. The only thing he wanted to talk about was Steve and no one was willing to listen. He sighed and folded his arms to sulk.

"Fine..."

"That's my boy," Danny said, relieved. 

Charlie's hand moved to flick a button back and forth. "Can I stay out here in the car? It's cool in here..."

Danny smiled softly, "You like Harry's car bud?"

Charlie's hand fell back in disgust. "Oh... it's his?"

Danny held his smile, "Yeah, cool right?"

Charlie wrinkled his nose and folded his arms again, "It's not the batmobile."

Danny stepped back as Charlie shoved the door open. He watched him stomp back towards the house and let out a heavy sigh. Charlie had picked a side, and it wasn't Danny's. That was going to make things so much harder.

"He'll get over it," Grace assured him.

"Get over what?" Danny asked.

"He wants things to go back to the way that they were, but they can't. Deep down he knows that and he'll get over it. I did when you and mom split, he did when Stan left, he'll get over Steve too eventually," Grace explained.

"I'm glad he has you to look out for him. I wish someone had been there for you," Danny said.

Grace gave him the best smile she could muster. "They were."

She held her smile as firmly as possible so he wouldn’t probe any deeper because the person who had helped her to understand why her parents weren't ever going to get back together even though Danny travelled all this way with them, was Steve.

There had been times when things looked like they could go either way - Charlie was one of them. Then it looked like Rachel might leave Hawaii all together and take Grace with her which she definitely didn’t want to do. But Steve had held her hand and promised her that he wouldn't make her go anywhere she didn’t want to, or let Rachel make her. Grace never found out how he kept his promise but she heard Kono talking about a court appearance that Rachel had failed to make but Steve and Danny had both gone to. She was sure that had something to do with it.

Steve had fought hard to keep her where she wanted to be. With Danny. And then, when he left, she had felt too abandoned to try and understand why he wanted to go. That realisation caused a dull ache in her chest that she swallowed down as she and Danny stepped up to the front door. Back then Steve had done all he could to keep her on the island. Now she was stuck at college, thousands of miles away, and she hated every inch. 

Danny held the door open for Grace. He looked as nervous as she felt. It had been a long time since she last met any of Danny's partners and she wasn't sure she was up for trusting another stranger. When they walked in, Charlie was nowhere to be seen, but there was a relatively good looking man sitting on a stool in the kitchen. Grace licked her lips and swallowed as she fidgeted the car keys between her fingers.

Harry rose from his stool and walked into the living room to smile at her. Grace eyed him. He was tall. Well built but surprisingly slim. Dark brown hair and bright blue eyes. A wicked smile that lit the room around him. Danny definitely had a type.

"Grace, this is Harry," Danny said.

She could hear the caution in his voice so she tried her best to sound like she wasn’t in the least bit nervous. It came out as suspicious. She definitely was suspicious.

"Hi."

"Aloha Grace, I've heard so much about you, it's a pleasure to finally put a face to the name."

The accent rang clean and sent a cold shiver through her. It was not something she had prepared herself for, and as familiar as the accent felt, it was too unfamiliar to be comfortable with.

Harry held out a hand for her to shake. Grace frowned uncertainly. It was a long time ago that she first met Steve, and she couldn't remember if she shook his hand way back then. She definitely shook Chin's. But she wasn’t used to such formal greetings these days. Usually people greeted her with a hug or a high five or, in the case of that one guy in her oceanography class, finger guns. She took his hand hesitantly, noting his watch as she did.

"Where in England are you from?" She challenged.

"London. North London - Paddington, to be precise. I grew up just down the road from a family that had a pet bear with a penchant for marmalade sandwiches," he winked.

"Paddington wasn't a pet, he was a member of their family," she corrected.

Harry's smile grew, "I see you're also a Michael Bond Fan."

"Who?" She frowned.

His smile faded, "The author of Paddington?"

"Oh. No. Mom used to read me Paddington when I was a kid. Beatrix Potter too. My first rabbit was called cottontail," Grace shrugged.

"First rabbit? Have you had many?" Harry asked.

"Two - are you rich?" Grace wasn’t about to let him lead the conversation anymore.

"Grace!"

Danny hadn't expected her to ask anything like that. Money was a touchy subject. Harry had recently lost all of his, but had somehow reclaimed enough to continue his lavish lifestyle. He had never explained how to Danny and Danny assumed he never would. Chances were it wasn't legal. And Grace knew how much money it took just to live the way she did. Even as a student wallets and banks were black holes not worth thinking about because they were never not empty. Supporting her and raising Charlie had been hard on a single cop's salary, which was the main reason Danny hadn't given up work yet. Not completely anyway. He needed the money. But he didn’t want Harry thinking his money had anything to do with why Danny liked him. Grace ignored her father. Money was important to her plan and if Harry had it maybe he could be useful.

Her eyes never left Harry as she explained, "The Lamborghini is a rental, obviously, but your watch isn't. Those are real diamonds, I can tell from here. No one rents a super car for fun unless that's the lifestyle they’re accustomed to or faking for insta, but if you were faking then the diamonds would be fake too, so I'm not asking if you’re rich I’m asking you how rich you are."

Harry's smile had only grown as she analysed him. Despite the accusation in her tone, he was deeply impressed.

"I'm comfortable," he allowed.

Grace folded her arms across her chest. "You're staying at the Hilton right?"

Harry glanced towards Danny. Danny looked bewildered. Neither had any idea where she had gathered that nugget from.

"How did you-"

"I recognise the smell of your laundry detergent. When Danno stayed there I brought all my washing because I liked the smell. If you're rich, why are you renting your car and staying in a hotel?"

"My accommodation is only temporary," Harry assured her.

"Danno says you used to be a spy," she accused.

Harry glanced at Danny again. He caught the way Danny's ears burned pink. Danny had been tortured for information and given them nothing, and yet he had let slip that Harry was a _secret_ agent without even registering it. Harry gave Grace an easy smile.

"Do you always believe what your father tells you?"

"I've never known him to lie to me."

"Is that a yes?"

"Are you dodging my question?"

Her glare hardened as Harry glanced her up and down. Harry straightened his posture and looked down at her as he smoothed his shirt. The intimation technique had been known to make both adults and children instinctively back off. But Grace had lived through kidnappings, terrorist hostage situations and seeing her father arrested for murder in front of her entire class. She wasn’t so easily intimidated. Harry's smile grew brighter as she stubbornly held onto his glare.

"I like her. She's smart and she speaks her mind. MI5 could use some more like you. Your mother's English right, maybe we could look into getting you duel citizenship-"

"I am not leaving Danno to go to England. Not for anyone," Grace spat. She paused. "Except maybe Tom Holland."

Danny rolled his eyes but he couldn’t help smiling. Grace had chosen her side a long, long time ago. She was firmly her Danno's little monkey.

"Loyal too. It's a pity. You'd make a fine spy," Harry approved.

"Hey, I've already had enough of Kono making her a ninja, Kamekona making her a chef, and Steve making her a SEAL, I don’t need her becoming a spy as well!" Danny warned.

"What do you want to be Grace?" Harry asked.

Grace didn’t miss a beat. "Happy."

"Good answer."

It was one she had developed by necessity. She had seen the best laid plans of the people around her uprooted and destroyed in moments. Her own life had been turned around often enough to know that she had to go with the flow instead of making plans. And no matter who she asked - Chin, Mary, Kamekona, Lou, Nahele - they all admitted that their lives had been turned on their heads often enough to destroy their plans and they were currently living lives that they had never imagined being possible. They had given up planning and just went with the flow. And _they_ were happy.

She had to cling to the idea that no matter how many plans fell through, she only needed one to stick. She only needed one that made her happy. She only needed money to get there.

Grace held the car keys out to Harry. "Here. I locked it for you."

"Thank you," he said as he took them.

"I'm gonna go finish some school work. Call me when you decide what's for dinner," she said.

Danny just nodded. He was deeply relieved that what she had almost walked in on had not been mentioned. Once she was up the stairs and safely locked in her own bedroom, both men let out a relieved sigh.

"That wasn’t so bad," Harry smiled.

"Where's Charlie?" Danny asked.

"I believe he went through to the garden and took the dog with him. He didn't say anything to me. It was... I imagine he may be harder to win over," Harry said.

Danny wanted to reassure him that Charlie was actually a very easy going kid, because he was. Charlie had a natural tendency to roll with the punches, and in his short life there had been many. He was still full of love to share and usually he didn't hesitate to do so. But Danny hadn't seen him recoil from something he found cool - like the car - before. Charlie was a kid who forgave his bullies without a second thought. Forgave Steve instantaneously, despite no one else doing so. Danny had never seen him give anyone the cold shoulder before. This was uncharted territory for the both of them.

"Beer?" Danny offered.

Harry's eyebrow perked up. "It's before noon Daniel."

"It'll settle your nerves."

"Go on then."

It wasn’t Harry's nerves that Danny was trying to settle. He was aware this was a slippery slope, but today had already spun him in circles to places he hadn't been expecting and the day had hardly begun. His mind trailed back to Harry's arrival.

Now that had been unexpected.

Harry's idea of taking things slow had been utterly up ended by the desperate tension between the two of them. Something he was eager to attempt again. Danny smiled at the memories, and his devilish ideas of what he could try next as he shut the fridge.

And his eyes fell on the framed photo of the fishing trip...

Steve was so handsome in that photo, despite his ridiculous appearance. His lucky fishing hat was tied down onto his head, but it had lures hooked into it that made it another potential weapon. He had a tank top on that showed off the muscles of his arms. Muscles that had been wrapped around Danny so many times that he could still sense their weight across his waist perfectly. The way he smiled... there was nothing like his smile. No matter how hard things felt, if Steve could find a smile in him, Danny knew they'd be alright. God wouldn't let anything happen to damage that smile...

"Good God man what's taking so long? Are you fermenting the beer yourself?" Harry called.

His voice ripped Danny back down to reality. "Uh, coming."

Danny snatched the photo off of the wall and hid it in the first place that came to hand. That just happened to be the microwave. He cursed himself for being unable to escape his ex partner, but this was once his house. He filled every part of it. He was so intimately part of Danny's life that it was one short step to replace Harry with Steve in his thoughts. Which Danny didn't want to do anymore. If he couldn't shut Steve out of his mind, at least he could shut away Steve's photo.

"One beer, your highness," he winked at Harry.

Harry smirked as he took it, "Thank you."

A laptop had been revealed and set up on the coffee table. Harry leaned over it like he was trying to hack into some matter of national security. The tension had returned to his muscles. Danny sat on the arm of the sofa and leaned across to massage the knots in Harry's shoulders.

"Relax a bit. You have to remember she's probably as nervous as you are-"

"Nervous? Lady Sophie? This is the same girl who lead us on a wild goose chance across the entire island before almost being sold to a harem Daniel. I'm not sure she gets nervous, or if she does, it's easily ignored," Harry scoffed.

"Yes, but I've seen her father go into battle against armed and prepared terror cells in an illegal raid to avenge the death of a man he didn’t know. Yet the only time I've seen him nervous is when his daughter is involved. So maybe, maybe its, like father, like uh, like daughter, yknow?" Danny argued.

Harry couldn't argue with that. Or if he could his arguments were swallowed up by the cloud of uncertainty in his chest. This was the first time in a long, long time that he was going into a situation completely blind and not in any form of control. The ball was entirely in her court and everything was riding on it.

"Do you think she'll call me dad?" Harry asked cautiously.

"Do you want her to?" Danny asked.

There was a long pause as Harry considered it. He had heard her call Lord Mortimer daddy on several occasions, but whenever she said the word dad it always carried a small level of spite. A minor venom. He didn't like the idea of that being directed his way.

"It makes me sound so old doesn’t it? To be someone’s _dad?"_ He said.

Danny laughed, "Hey!"

"Not that you're old Danny dear. It's just..."

"My boyfriend is?"

"Boyfriend? Is that who I am?"

Danny's laughter died and his fingers, which had been running circles through Harry's hair, froze.

"I... I didn't mean- if you don’t want to call it that-" he stammered.

"Daniel we are both far too old to beat around the bush. Are you looking for a boyfriend?" Harry interrupted firmly.

Danny's cheeks flushed. The same bluntness that had endeared him to Harry when he asked him out, made him feel pressured by the man now. Danny hadn’t even thought about it consciously but there was no avoiding it now.

"I... I'm too old to be constantly chasing after new relationships. I'd like someone who is ready to start settling down. Not immediately, obviously, but I don’t want to be fifty-nine and still driving to hotel bars to meet my date," Danny explained.

Harry nodded slowly as he took it in. "You want someone who would stay on the island then? Full time?"

"Ideally, I guess," Danny nodded. His fingers went back to curling through Harrys hair. "I mean, I do have my whole life here. My kids, my friends, my job, my house-"

"Just to clarify, sorry, if, hypothetically, you found a boyfriend to settle down with for good, would you be willing to move to a new property, or would you still be in your ex-partner's house?" Harry asked curiously.

Danny's heart pounded. It had taken him years to settle down here and the idea of facing Oahu's fluctuating markets again made him feel queasy. He wasn't sure if he was imagining the accusation in Harry's tone or if there was something more to the question either. It took a lot of focus to keep his fingers combing Harry's hair as if it didn't send a chill through him to think about it. 

"I... I guess I'd have to run it past my kids. We've moved around a lot, I think they like having a solid base..."

"Right. Your kids..." Harry's tone said there was more on his mind, but he didn't give Danny time to pry. "The trouble is that there are only three rooms in this house. If all goes well, I should need to move into a house that at least has a spare."

Danny hadn't thought that far ahead either. He had been so prioritised on _his_ children being comfortable that he hadn’t considered _Harry's._ If the continued this relationship as he wanted to, he was going to become a father again. He had broken up with people to avoid this before now. But Harry was willing to take on his kids, so Danny needed to at least try.

"We could convert the attic," he declared.

Harry twisted in surprise. "I wasn’t aware there was one."

Danny hadn’t been either and had never seen it so he had no idea how big it was or how it would look once converted but he doubted any part of this rickety old house would be deemed good enough by the girl he had met only once in the penthouse suite of the Hilton. He had been forced to sit through a fashion show starring her and her tastes didn’t exactly mingle with Danny's.

"If Sophie were to visit, wouldn't she want to stay in the lap of luxury at the Hilton, not with her dads?" Danny asked, "we don't exactly have a spa."

Harry's eyes widened momentarily. He wasn't pleased sharing his daughter with the man who had raised her, he hadn't even considered sharing her with Danny too. He sighed to change the subject.

"I don't think I've earned the right to be called dad. I haven't exactly been one."

"I'm sure if you explain the situation..."

Danny's own experiences in this feild were from the parental view, but again, Steve wasn’t far enough from his mind. Danny knew every part of Doris's story intimately. He knew the situation, he empathized with parts of it, but he could never forgive her for any of it. If he couldn’t, he didn’t seem how Steve ever would. As far as he knew, he hadn't. Children don’t understand reason, they understand who's around and who isn't. They base their affections on that.

"I'm sure you can make up for lost time babe. You just have to take whatever little you can get and make the most out of it. Even if its only four days a month."

Harry raised his head as Danny leaned down to lay a kiss on his temple. It was a tiny touch of support that made both of them forget the conversation that had gotten them there. By the time the laptop started ringing, Danny was more nervous than he cared to admit. He hid in the kitchen, watching Charlie sulk on the swing while he eavesdropped. What he didn’t know, was that Grace was sitting on the stairs doing the same thing.

Lady Sophie appeared on the screen at an angle, as if she was leaned back on her bed, resting her phone on her knee rather than use something solid like a laptop to talk to her father. Harry knew better than to complain. If she was using her phone to talk to him, then she wasn’t being distracted by it. He had to count his blessings because he couldn't count his breath. He wasn’t breathing at all.

"Hello Harry," She said, tentatively.

"Hello Sophie. How are you?" He said, politely.

"Is that really the first thing you want to say to me?"

"Of course not, but we follow formalities anyway dear, we're British."

There was a long pause as Sophie considered this.

"I'm fine."

"Good. I am too."

Another long pause. Neither were really sure what to say anymore. Conversation rarely flowed freely between the two of them before, and now there was additional pressure to say something that cemented their relationship.

"I'm sorry Daddy-" she choked slightly and twisted her chin as she corrected, "I'm sorry Lord Mortimer shot you."

"Quite alright love, I've had worse," Harry smiled.

"I'm sure," Sophie said slowly.

Harry shifted in his seat. He hated small talk. Especially when there was something he wanted to say. Thankfully, Sophie rolled her eyes and huffed impatiently.

"Well this is stupid. I called you for a reason and you know it as well as I do so let's cut the small talk and get right to the point shall we?!"

Danny snorted behind his hand. She sounded just like her old man.

Harry blinked in surprise, but gave a breezy smile as he nodded. "My thoughts exactly. I'm sure you have questions."

"Many. Mother already explained that you were friends in uni and that you seduced her while she and Lord Mortimer were going through a rough patch-"

"I wouldn't say that. The seduction went both ways as I recall."

Sophie wrinkled her nose. "Gross."

"Sorry," Harry muttered sheepishly.

She cleared her throat and continued, "She didn't say why you weren't around though. See, I can remember a steam fair when I was five years old and I was sitting in a strange boat thing pulling a rope, and _you_ were with me."

"Yes, I remember that. Brighton. We went paddling in the sea afterwards. I brought chips and you copied me when I put vinegar on mine and you decided you don't like vinegar. I had to buy you a whole new portion," Harry smiled fondly at the memory.

Sophie looked disgusted. "Brighton? I hardly think so, it's dire down there! Seagulls control the entire area, it can't have been Brighton."

It was definitely Brighton. Harry hadn't had any other reason to go to Brighton since he was a child himself and every time Danny mentioned Brighton Beach he recalled the memory fondly. Besides, he was sure they fed the extra chips to the seagulls. Or maybe they just stole them. They were rather vicious birds.

"I'm fairly certain it was. It was the steam fair accompanying the London to Brighton run for vintage cars. Lord Mortimer brought a chevvy for Lady Helen even though she doesn’t care for cars," he said.

"So you do remember?" She accused.

"Of course. I remember every day I got to spend with you," Harry said.

And he honestly did. Those memories had helped him through some dark nights. As long as _she_ was still alive, part of him was going to live on, and he would survive anything to see her one more time.

"Then why did you leave? You were around a lot when I was young and then one day suddenly you weren’t until now. Where did you go?" She challenged.

Harry's tongue curled along the edge of his lip as he tried to think of an answer that didn't breach rules of confidentiality or national security. Danny leaned back against the wall to eavesdrop better. Grace wriggled closer to the banisters, carefully shifting her weight to avoid the creak in the lower step.

"Darling, my work made it dangerous for me to have a family. People I cared about were always under threat, its why your mother kept you from me in the first place. I wanted to keep you safe," Harry explained.

Sophie folded her arms and scoffed, "That’s an utter lot of crap."

Danny's chest tightened on Harry's behalf. Sophie would never even try to forgive him if she thought he wasn’t being honest, but his entire career relied on his ability to lie. Like Joe. Danny always found it extremely hard to believe a word that Joe said because he told the truth as often as he lied and only ever as far as he could use it to manipulate you. Fortunately for Danny, Harry had taken another stance. He was always entirely honest, and quietly side stepped probing questions that would unravel his stories.

"I know it sounds like that darling-" Harry began.

Sophie ignored him, "My understanding is that you’re a personal bodyguard Harry. Am I actually supposed to _believe_ the MI5 story?"

Danny snorted. He had been placed on personal protection details often enough to know that Harry would be an interesting bodyguard. A good one, probably, but he wouldn't ever follow protocol. The idea made him smile. The implications of role play made his stomach clench.

"I'm beginning to get the feeling that you'll only believe whatever you want to believe so why don’t you tell me what you think happened and I'll correct the facts?" Harry offered.

Grace rolled her eyes at the arrogance. He didn't know anything that he had left behind and here he was trying to tell her that _she_ was wrong. She huffed and folded her arms but stayed to listen.

"What's to tell? I was a child. I had a father who was never around and spent more effort on stockbroking than on my existence and a mother who counted how many people in Westminster Abbey had to be killed in an accident before she became queen. I had one adult who treated me like a normal child and sometimes he would go away to fight bad people and when he came back he had injuries and we got ice cream. Until you stopped coming back. And then I was sixteen and I wanted to go to Hawaii to have fun and you chased me around the entire island to stop me enjoying myself."

Danny didn’t think that was fair. She had run off without permission and gotten herself in danger. Danny had had to wait on the shore while the two men he cared about more than any others, swam out to a boat full of armed kidnappers to save her.

"Well you always were good at hide and seek," Harry forced a smile.

"Harry you owe me an explanation,"

"I told you, it was dangerous for you to know me. Death follows me. Danger follows me. I have seen people I care about a whole lot less than you tortured and executed. I didn’t think I would ever live past thirty and when I did I had already missed important parts of your life. The people who were after me wouldn’t let you go just because you were a child and I..."

Harry swallowed. He didn’t like the ball in his throat. Any sign of vulnerability made him deeply uncomfortable. Grace's heart slowed as she leaned even closer to the banisters.

"Of all seven billion people on this planet you are the only person I would ever willingly give up my life for. And since it came to a choice between being a part of your life or you facing horrors no child should ever know, it was an easy decision to make. Harder to execute."

Danny's chest heaved as Grace's shoulders sagged. Harry's excuses were understandable. Forgivable. But Steve hadn’t been protecting anyone but himself by leaving, and by coming back... old wounds ached most. 

"And now I'm supposed to just believe that you’re back in my life for good am I? Even though you’ve done nothing to prove that you're willing to stay?" Sophie demanded.

"I did take a bullet for you," Harry reminded her.

Sophie pursed her lips momentarily and then huffed, "You seem fine to me. I already have a father who has no time for me Harry. I don't need two."

Harry winced. It was a minuscule move that no one but Sophie picked up on, because she was the only one watching. She tried to ignore the sting of guilt that accompanied it. Lord Mortimer had already given up on knowing her beyond what affections material could gain for him. If Harry wasn't going to step up and see her as a person, she was better off without him.

"I promise you love, I have all the time in the world for you. No one else can get away with sending me on a wild goose chase every time they go on holiday!" He teased.

Sophie gulped. That was the trouble with Harry. He was so used to keeping control of him and the situations around him that even when he was hurting he couldn't help carrying on as if nothing happened. It was a trait she saw in herself when her friends upset her, and it had never once lead her anywhere good.

"Where are you anyway? That doesn't look like London," she accused.

"It's not. I'm in Honolulu. I'm visiting a friend," Harry said.

Danny's heart beat faster at the phrase. He was a friend. Harry's friend. Of course he was. They had only been officially dating for what two weeks? It was far too early for labels. God he was stupid.

"Is that where you've been for the last two months? I wouldn’t know, you haven't called," Sophie accused.

"I didn't think you'd want me to," he admitted.

"Is that why you've been stalking my insta instead?"

Harry's mouth twisted. He had learned more about Instagram and Snapchat and various other social media pages in the last six weeks with Danny's help. He and Tani had showed him all sorts of tools to help track someone's public information without them even knowing.

He hadn’t expected Sophie to pay enough attention to her media profiles to notice him.

"Honestly you're not subtle enough for the MI5 thing to ever be believable," she scoffed again.

"I like keeping tabs on you Soph. I know its not like actually being a part of your life but it is the closest thing I've been allowed to be. Your mother asked me to keep her secret and I did. But I never pretended to be anything that I wasn’t. All I wanted to protect you. I love you Sophie. You make me want to be the kind of father you deserve. You don't have to believe that but now that you know the truth maybe... maybe I have the chance to prove it. We have lost a lot of time and I should have been there for you, but I'm here now. We have already lost so much time, we can't let pettiness and anger keep us apart for even longer."

Grace felt the words like a dagger through her chest. Her lungs filled with liquid as she tried hard not to gasp. Pettiness and anger were all she had left.

"Well... my friend Kaitlyn says that you show up late to a party to prove that it's no fun until you’re around. So maybe you're late so you can improve my life," Sophie said thoughtfully.

No one really understood that rationale but if it worked for Sophie they weren't going to question it. 

"I'd certainly like to try," Harry agreed.

Sophie licked her lips uncertainly. "I'll tell Annabel to clear my schedule soon. I'm not going to Hawaii before Kaitlyn's party though so you'll have to come here."

Harry's stomach twisted. He hated the idea of leaving Danny so early into what was promising to become something interesting, but this was far more important.

"Of course."

"I won't promise you won't be shot again, but Lord Mortimer does have a hunting trip planned for some time soon so he shouldn't be around. Just in case, do be careful."

"Of course."

"Goodbye Harry. Safe travels."

"Goodbye Sophie."

She hung up first. Harry let out a nervous sigh. Grace quietly crept down the stairs and into the garden through the kitchen, narrowly avoiding Danny as she did. It wasn't him she wanted to talk to. Danny sat on the edge of the sofa beside Harry. Harry leaned against him for comfort.

"I thought that went rather well..." he lied.

Danny ran a hand through Harry's hair and hummed in agreement. "Looks it. She seems really ready to get to know her old dad."

"Who you calling old? I'm as active and energetic today as I was when I was young!" Harry smirked.

"Is that a promise?" Danny smirked back.

"Do you want proof?"

"I can be tempted."

Harry gave a sultry smile and tilted his head up to reach him. Danny smiled back and leaned down to meet his lips. It was a short, affectionate kiss. Soft enough to still be intimate. Harry leaned a hand up to cup Danny's cheek and twisted to fit against him properly. When he pulled back, Danny's smile was dazzling.

Steve stopped dead at the top of the steps. Of all the things that he had expected to see through the window of what was now Danny's house, his ex-partner kissing _Harry_ was not one of them. His heart pounded against his chest like a drum.

He dropped Charlie's school bag on the doorstep and hurried back to the car as fast as his legs could carry him. His cheeks were scarlet with humiliation and his eyes were green with envy. Previous conversations made sense in new ways that burned like acid in his mind. 

Harry.

Of all people, why did it have to be _Harry?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really struggling to write this chapter that's so far ahead in this story that I can't tell you about it (spoilers) and it's driving me mad! Can I post like 15 chapters just to get your opinions on this one? I shouldn't right?  
> Nah.  
> I shouldn't.  
> I just gotta think.
> 
> Update: nvm i worked it out


	7. Chapter 7

Storm clouds had been brewing over Hawaii for weeks. It was like watching a painfully slow version of pass the parcel as the dark clouds rumbled menacingly over each island. Until they finally settled on Oahu. It was such a dark and stormy day that Danny had decided it was safer to bunk down with Uncle Steve at his place until it had passed. Safer for who, Grace wasn’t sure. She didn't argue though. Any time she had with her Danno and Uncle Steve together could be the moment they realised they were in love. Both she and Charlie were excited for that. 

It was just after lunchtime when the heavens finally opened. Eddie was terrified of the noise all around them and the way the flashing lights that seemed to fill the whole sky. The clouds were so laden that they had passed by grey and were almost navy in colour. The wind that brought them shuddered the glass in the windows and rattled the foundations. Eddie whimpered the whole time.

It was too long ago now for Grace to remember what had happened that gave her the first clues, but she could remember what happened after she noticed. Despite the way Steve clenched his jaw and tensed his muscles and pushed through like this storm wasn’t even a blip on his radar, Grace knew he was terrified. He was more afraid than any of them. Almost as much as Eddie. Danny had picked up on it too, and had refused to let him give up his bed for them because he didn’t want to leave him downstairs alone.

She didn't know what caused the idea - maybe it was just distant memories from back in Jersey with her cousins and her parents building them for movie nights - but she grabbed the bedding Danny had dug out for them, and set about building a pillow fort. It took a while for the others to catch on. As soon as Danny realised, he leapt up to help. Steve's shoulders relaxed slightly now that he had something to focus on, and he helped to find extra support for the duvets. They decided that the sofa wasn't big enough and moved up into Steve's room to fill his king sized mattress instead. They nestled down between the piles of pillows and the blanket roof like they had built themselves a bunker. A true fortress against the harsh weather outside. All four of them and the dog.

Steve shuffled everyone around to ensure that Danny was beside the exit, in case his claustrophobia set in. Steve wanted him to have enough space to be comfortable, even if he was teetering on the edge of panic. It meant that Steve wound up with Charlie cradled to his chest (which was far more comforting than he expected) and Eddie crushing his knees while he buried his nose under the mans thigh. Grace was laying on her side in the middle so that there was more space for Danny, so he wouldn't panic.

It was the first and only time that Danny had ever fallen asleep knowing everyone he loved was within arms reach. He would never allow any level of claustrophobia to take this away from him.

But then the storm passed.

The sun had returned just for the end of the day. With it, the heat. Underneath their blankets and pillows, underneath the tangled limbs and dog fur, and on top of a memory foam mattress, they were slowly steaming.

Charlie was the first to break free, but Danny quickly followed. With them gone, Eddie leapt down and Grace pushed the covers away with both arms to breath in fresher air. Her hair was sticking up at odd angles and Steve snickered. She glared at him.

"What?!"

"You look like a scarecrow," he teased.

Grace hit him with a pillow. Steve laughed, and hit her back. The pillow fight happened as naturally as the pillow fort had, and lasted a whole minute before both of them were gasping for breath. They went to the kitchen to find drinks and inspect the damage.

It was surprisingly limited for how wild the place had felt. Nothing had been damaged, even if some things - like Steve's favourite decorative tree - had been knocked over. Danny and Charlie had already opened the back doors to allow in a breeze. They were outside, she could hear them from here. Curiously, Grace followed.

All day that storm had been raging, and now it was gone, there was an odd level of calm in the air. With the clouds passed on to the next island, the sea had calmed as if it were never there. The sun was fading already. They had missed the day, but the heavy rain was still around them. The entire ground was sodden. Where the sun had returned to warm it, the air was heavy with damp. Swampy.

But the sky was blotted like watercolours. Bold oranges tinged with yellows swirled into deeper red which in turn melted into blues. Deep, dark blues, tinted with shades of purple were nipping at the edges of the sky's canvas already. They were either remnants of the storm, or a threat of the oncoming night, Grace couldn't tell which for sure. Steve joined her and the others at the edge of the damp sand to take in the view.

"This place is breathtaking," she muttered.

Steve smiled to himself as Charlie nodded, dumbstruck in agreement. But his smile turned to a grin when he heard Danny's voice, low to avoid being heard.

"I could get used to storms if this is what happens afterwards..."

Steve was unapologetically proud of his home, even if his partner hated it here. But over time Steve's - as well as the rest of Five-O to be fair - enthusiasm for all things Hawaii had rubbed off on him. He wasn’t going to be running around in broad shorts and an aloha shirt sipping blue Hawaiians and eating pineapple on pizza any time soon - or ever - but little things like this was enough. Seeing him smile when he was out surfing was enough. The day he came back from the beach and complained about the crowds, but not the sand, was enough. Every time he dared to attempt pidgin, even if it was only ever to strangers who giggled and corrected his pronunciation, but praised him for trying, it was enough.

Steve adored how Danny was settling into the island culture, no matter how much time and how begrudging he was about it.

Steve nudged Grace and handed her a cup. She took it and handed it to Charlie. Steve gave her the second cup while Charlie glugged down the water to rehydrate himself eagerly.

"Mahalo," Grace smiled.

That caught Danny's attention. He put his hands on his hips and gestured to Steve.

"Where's mine?" He challenged.

"You know where the tap is," Steve snorted.

Danny twisted to face him better. His hand began to flap like they always did when they started bickering. "Yes uh, yes, yes I do, but you got them for my kids, and I'm a guest. Aren't you supposed to be a good host and uh, hydrate me too?"

"You're a grown man Danny, you can get your own water," Steve stated.

"That's not the point, the point is that you're supposed to be a host and that means providing the ability for all your guests to cool off," Danny countered.

Steve's eyes sparkled. "You want to cool off?"

"Uh, yeah? It's hot, I'm sweaty, I don't like being sweaty-"

"I can cool you off-"

"What are you- Steve what are you doing, don’t- don't lift me up- Steve - _Steve_ \- _STEVE PUT ME DOWN_! PUT ME DOWN - _STEVE-_ GRACE HELP- so help me God, Steve, PUT ME DOWN!"

Grace did not try to help her father as Steve lifted him up in his arms and ran down the beach carrying him as he wriggled to escape. Instead she recorded the whole thing on her phone for later. Steve ran out into the water, far enough to soak his cargo pants right to the knee before dropping Danny.

Danny yelped on his way down. He leapt back up almost instantly, despite the sand slipping under his heels. It was only the sleeve of his left arm up to his shoulder, the left part of his collar, and his head that wasn't dunked beneath the water. Steve had deliberately stopped at that depth so Danny wouldn't sink entirely below the waves.

Grace expected fireworks. She expected screaming. Yelling. Gesticulating. All the kinds of things that her father did when he was down right furious at someone for doing something so monumentally stupid. She did not expect him to scramble to his feet and use the new weightlessness of the water to plant his heel into Steve's thigh, hook his arms around Steve's neck, and use that step as a lift to push his entire weight onto Steve's shoulders and push him completely under the water.

Danny stepped back to give Steve space to shoot back up again, but Steve didn't reappear to gasp for breath like a normal person. Steve wasn’t a normal person. He was a SEAL. He crept along in the murk of the water churned up by the storm, and used it to hide from Danny.

Danny hardly had time to react to the grip on his ankle before his legs were yanked out from under him.

Grace heard Charlie gasp in alarm at her side. He was hardly more than a toddler. He didn’t understand where they had vanished to. She instinctively reached for his hand. She had to swap hands to keep her phone stable as she filmed them.

Finally, after a beat of emptiness, both Steve and Danny appeared at the surface again. Charlie screamed in laughter and punched the air in delight.

Danny wiped the water from his eyes and flicked the wet hair out of his face as he looked up. Steve's eyes lingered on the way his now drenched white shirt clung to his skin. The thin white fabric was practically invisible. Steve just couldn't look away.

"Are you filming us?!" Danny cried.

"No!" Grace beamed.

Danny turned to Steve, who snatched his eyes away from his chest like lightning.

"I can't believe she's filming us!" He huffed.

"Maybe she could use some cooling off too," Steve suggested.

It took a moment for Danny to catch onto Steve's wicked smirk, but when he did he couldn’t help smirking back. Grace had enough time to react to the men advancing on her screen for it to click what was about to happen, but not enough time to turn and run before they were onto her. She barely took one step before Steve caught her arm. Danny went for her waist and she squealed at the sensation of cold wet fabric on her warm dry skin. He swept her off the ground as she kicked and yelled and squirmed to escape. Steve wrestled the phone out of her hands as Danny carried her across the sand. Steve barely managed to catch the phone that slipped from his hand before it could hit the water. He managed to catch a blurry shot of Grace falling, completely submerged into the water, before she instantly bolted back to her feet and screamed.

"MY HAIR! DANNO, MY HAIR!"

She peeled her hair out of her face and scowled as Danny grinned at her. Steve held the phone up and turned it to video himself and Danny as he hooked an arm around Danny's shoulders.

"That’s why you should mess with me and my partner," he grinned.

Danny pulled a gruff face to back him up and Steve almost let out a laugh before he copied. Then the camera flicked back to Grace as she dragged herself out of the water, ringing her shirt as she went.

"Cooled off now?" Steve teased.

Grace scowled deeper, before she paused. An idea struck her. She smirked, smugly. The camera followed her as both Danny and Steve watched her walk. She could still recall the equal looks of confusion as she went. Once she had passed them, she turned back to face the camera, still walking backwards towards the house, and grinned.

"Race you to the showers!"

The footage caught her spinning on her heels to sprint for the house before Danny and Steve had finishing yelling in protest. The footage went blurry as they set off to race after her, then froze as the video ended.

Grace whizzed the footage backwards across the screen with one finger. Her younger self raced backwards into the water. Danny and Steve appeared again. She paused it. Grace nudged her foot gently, rocking the swing back and forth as she tried to remember the happier times. Days like those were so simple. They seemed endless. Unimportant. Forgettable. Yet they kept playing in a loop in her head as she wondered just how petty she was being.

Okay, yes, her feelings were hurt. But Steve was trying to apologise for that. She was refusing to listen. That was upsetting Charlie and now he was refusing to talk to Harry which was upsetting Danny and now Grace was caught in a vicious cycle of constant hurt and she didn’t know how to break free.

Everything seemed so much easier back then...

She closed the video when she heard footsteps and sniffed back the ache in her throat that wanted to finally crack and let her cry. This wasn’t the time.

"Hey monkey. It's cold out. Wanna come back inside where it's warm?" Danny asked, hopefully.

Grace gave him an unimpressed look. "It's Hawaii Danno. Cold here is like summer in New Jersey."

"You still got New Jersey bones huh?" Danny smirked. He didn’t attempt to hide the pride in his tone.

She shrugged, "I guess I must."

Grace looked back down at her phone and Danny's shoulders fell. Charlie had barricaded himself in Harry's car. Harry said it was okay and since it meant he couldn't leave, Charlie would have to come in eventually. Danny wasn't exactly comfortable with this, but he didn't seem to have a choice. And now Grace appeared to be upset by something too and Danny couldn't help worrying that he had made a mistake by letting them meet Harry so early.

It had never been this early before, but Danny hadn't felt this comfortable in his relationship this early before. They had been friends for so long it felt like a natural procession.

Charlie was a kid. He would come around in time and possibly bribes. But Grace was practically an adult now. If she wanted to she could leave this island for good, not just for college. If Harry put her off coming home and he didn’t get to see her as often as he would have liked, Danny would never be able to fully relax.

"Everything okay?" He asked, tentatively.

It wasn't. He could tell just by looking. He didn’t need to be a detective to know when his daughter was behaving out of character. But she said nothing. She wouldn’t meet his eye though, which made his nerves worse.

"I can't help you if I don’t know what's wrong monkey," he said, gently.

Grace exhaled as she shook her head. "You can't help anyway. This is my problem. Mine and... mine and Steve's..."

Danny let out a breath of relief without thinking. "Oh. That's... that’s kind of a relief. I thought you didn't like Harry."

Grace frowned, "I don’t know him enough to have an opinion yet."

"Right..." Danny licked his lips.

If he was being honest, he was stick of talking about Steve. He was tired of thinking about him too. Steve made his stomach ache and his nerves stand on end. Harry made his stomach flutter and him laugh. If only the kids could see how much of an assist Harry could be for the family. It wasn’t like he was going to replace Steve - he wasn’t even dating Steve! But they didn't even give him a chance.

"You can come in and find out more if you want to," Danny said, cautiously.

Grace's chest ached. She didn't want to let him down, but she didn’t really feel up to spending time with strangers at the moment.

"I will. I will, just..."

Danny's chest ached to see her looking so pained. He closed his eyes. Just because he didn’t want to talk about Steve didn't mean that Grace didn't, and Grace came first.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Grace licked her lips quietly. She took a deep breath, "I'd have more time to get to know Harry if I didn't have to go back to college soon."

"I know but your education is too important to risk for anyone else. Even Harry," Danny said as he ran a hand across her hair.

"I know that. I just..." Grace shifted where she sat. She had tried this before. She knew what the answer would be. But she had to try. "I just think... family's more important than anything right Danno?"

"To a point, yeah. But it's really important to have a life outside family monkey. You need to be able to be your own person. You're gonna be an amazing marine biologist because of that," he assured her.

Grace felt a groan rumble in her chest and she tried to swallow it back and stop Danny from hearing her. She could see how unsettled he was already to have Harry in the house. This was _far_ earlier than he had ever introduced someone to his family before, and this time was worse than Melissa. At least she was outside of the bedroom when Grace met her. 

Steve had been there after that. He had turned up at Rachel's two days after the accidental meeting l to check in on Grace. Even though a building had fallen on his head, he was worried about her just because Danny had a girlfriend. Grace felt a stab of longing for those days. They felt all too long ago now. She knew that it upset Danny to talk about Steve. She and Charlie both knew that he didn’t want to talk about him anymore, even if he was home. But she couldn't help it.

"I should have heard Steve out. He always lets me complain, he always listens. I should have listened to him..."

Danny sighed. He ran a hand through her hair as he tried to offer her what little comfort he still had to give.

"You said what you needed to say. What needed to be heard. What dyou think he could say that he hasn't said before?"

Grace shrugged helplessly. "Sorry?"

Danny bit down on his tongue to hold in the scoff. "I've known him for eleven years, he's only ever apologised to me three times. Only ever once for something that was his fault."

Despite the bitterness in her fathers tone and the way his comforting touch was a little sharper this time she couldn't let go of the idea.

"I'd still feel better if he said sorry..."

Danny held back a sigh. He didn't want to sound tired and disdainful anymore. He had had enough of Rachel letting him and the kids down, he didn't need it from Steve too. He really didn’t want to talk about this anymore.

"You'll feel better when we get some food in you. Come on."

Danny dusted himself down to prepare to go inside, but Grace didn’t move. She did, however, finally look up at him.

"Actually, I'd kind of like to eat out here if that's okay?" She asked.

"Out here?" Danny looked out across the garden in surprise.

Danny had subconsciously avoided the garden for months now. Ever since the day Steve left him out on the beach to catch a plane, he hadn't gone much further than the lalani when out here. He left the kids to play and watched them from up there. But looking around now, it was like he could finally see it again.

The garden was beautiful, even in the pale blue twilight. The patches of grass that had been dug up by Eddie no longer made him think about the money that was under there. Instead, he thought of the flowers Mary had tried and failed to grow. The space where they used to have a barbecue made him think of Joan and Charlie trying to teach Eddie how to jump rope, not the way Steve would put his tounge around a beer bottle before drinking it. The beach made him think of Grace and Charlie searching for turtle eggs instead of the day Steve left him alone in the sand. A soft salty breeze drifted across them, rocking the swing gently. Danny gave her a warm smile that eased her tight chest.

"Sure. Of course, whatever you want monkey. Want me to bring it out to you?"

She smiled and nodded, "Please."

Danny nodded back. Then an idea struck him. "We could have a picnic. All of us out here together. It might make Charlie feel better..." the joy of a moment earlier faded with his smile, "I don’t think he likes Harry much."

Grace held in her need to sigh. The conversation had moved so easily away from her again without feeling completed, but she didn't want to complain. Grace had one goal, and she wouldn't achieve it by complaining to Danny.

"Have you made dinner yet?" She asked.

"No, not... not just yet," he said.

"You should defrost some of that Jersey pizza dough," She said.

Grace said it with confidence as if it was a most obvious solution to the problem. Danny eyed her curiously. "What are you thinking?"

"Pizza contest. Harry and Charlie vs you and me. Teamwork and competition always makes Charlie try harder," she shrugged.

"That's... that's genius, you're brilliant, come here-" Danny linked an arm around her sideways and pressed a kiss into her hair, "brilliant!"

Grace giggled as she pushed him away. "You’re so goofy Danno! It's embarrassing!"

Danny grinned. The air felt a lot lighter and a lot easier to breathe when Grace smiled. He had no idea how he was going to cope without her when she went back to college.

Presenting the idea to Charlie and Harry was easier than Danny had expected too. Harry was willing to join in just because Danny asked, and Charlie had a competitive streak that rivalled Steve's and had gotten Scrabble banned in the Williams household.

"How do we pick teams?" Harry asked.

Grace threw a hand into the air, "Dibs I'm with Danno!"

Danny gestured to her proudly, "Like that."

"Guess that puts you and me together young sir," Harry smiled down at Charlie as he laid an arm around his shoulders.

Charlie looked up at him, devastated, before looking up at Danny and whining, "Do we have to?"

"Yes," he said firmly. "Team Tomato Pie vs Team Pizza, it'll be great fun!"

"What’s a tomato pie?" Harry asked.

"That's why you’re on team pizza," Grace said.

Harry decided not to press for more information. "Who decides the winner?"

"Eddie," Charlie declared.

From his bed in the main room, the dog raised his head. They heard the clatter of his tags as he did.

"We're not giving the dog two pizzas Charlie," Danny said.

"He's a hearty hound, I'm sure he can handle two slices Daniel- Danny," Harry corrected quickly.

"Maybe we could bring someone else in-" Grace began.

"We can all try both pizzas and vote," Danny interrupted.

This was already uncomfortable enough without bringing in another outsider to judge things.

"Surely we would just vote for ourselves?" Harry asked.

"We could ask uncle-" Charlie began.

"Jerry, excellent idea, we can call uncle Jerry! Or uncle Kamekona, since he's a chef," Grace interrupted.

"We'll settle it when we come to it," Danny said firmly.

It didn't matter, he decided, how they judged who won. Charlie would win. Charlie had to win. Even if he just laid a whole pineapple on top of the dough and baked the whole thing till it was cinders, Charlie would still win. It was the only way to guarantee that he had positive thoughts on Harry after this.

"I'll get the dough ready, you settle the arguments," Grace declared.

This dough was special. It was the last remaining left overs from a batch they had made months ago. Eric had gone to visit their family back home and sent them a huge bottle of New Jersey's finest 100% tap water. Danny was thrilled. This pizza dough was all that was left. It would make the best base.

To defrost the dough Grace's plan was to gently and slowly warm it in the microwave. When she opened the microwave door she didn’t expect to find a photo hidden inside it. Curiously, she pulled it out. The wave of grief that washed over Grace when she saw her uncle smiling back at her was devastating. It felt like a stabbing pain in her chest, the same as when she lost her uncle Matthew. Which made her frown harder in frustration.

Matthew was dead. There was no chance at reconciliation for him. He didn't get to apologise or present his side of the story. He was dead and gone and they might never understand the full reasons as to why.

But Steve?

Steve was across the island, over at Aunt Mary's house. He was less than an hour's drive from here. She had seen him on Thursday and if Charlie had his way she would see him tomorrow. She had his number. And she had a car. If she wanted to she could phone him up, tell him she was coming over, and she could see him right now in the flesh. He could apologise. She could find a way to forgive him. They could try to get past this.

Her stomach knotted with nerves at how easy it all sounded. It was too easy. Like pie crust. Easy to make and far too easy to ruin beyond repair.

But she missed him. She really, really missed him. This distance felt like it went on forever and she wanted it to stop. Danny couldn't help with that. This was something Grace would have to do herself.

Why did that seem so terrifying?

The sound of footsteps in the next room reminded Grace that she wasn’t alone. She hid the photo face down against the side of the microwave and set the dough inside to help it defrost. Charlie tugged her shirt for attention.

"If I win, do I get a prize?" He asked.

Grace looked up at her father for answers.

"Sure," Danny shrugged.

"What?" Charlie asked eagerly.

Danny opened his mouth to answer but he couldn’t think of a single thing that he could offer as a prize. He looked to Grace for help.

"Whatever you want," she shrugged.

"That isn't too expensive," Danny added.

"I'm sure we could find a way around any money issues, _Danno,"_ Harry winked.

Danny's breath was snatched away from him momentarily. That was all it took for him to forget his protests about Harry's money. His life was his to finance and usually he would never allow someone - anyone - to pay his way for him in any form. But Harry's voice when he said _Danno_ was positively indecent. The smile that came with it! Devilish as it was, it was genuine. Danny's heart thumped. Harry was honestly dazzling. When his brain functioned again he would make a note to bring it up later.

"I know exactly what I want!" Charlie declared.

By the light of determination already in his eyes it was obvious that whatever he had settled on was something he wanted desperately.

"Oh really? Care to share?" Harry asked.

Charlie shook his head, "Nope."

"I see. It's like birthday wishes. If you share them they wont come true, right?" Harry smiled.

"Exactly," Charlie nodded.

"Very clever, I whole heartedly approve," Harry chuckled warmly.

Something deep within Charlie latched onto the mild pride in Harry's tone in a way he didn't understand. Charlie was torn. On the one hand he didn’t want to like this stranger who stood in the way of his uncle Steve coming back into his life in the same fullness as he had been before, but on the other, he was likeable. He was funny, even if Charlie refused to laugh, and he didn't talk down to him. And he was British. Something about his accent flicked switches in Charlie's chest that hadn't been touched since his mother left.

As much as he didn’t want to be, he was drawn to the man.

"Have you ever made pizza before Charlie, dear?" Harry asked.

"No. Gracie does the cooking. Unless Danno does. Or something Uncle Kamekona," Charlie shrugged.

"I see. I confess I usually order my pizzas in. I don’t believe I've cooked one since university, but even then we ended up..." Harry stopped himself as he realised that this was hardly an appropriate story for a child. "Let's just say that I got distracted and it burned."

"You knead out the base and I'll cut the cheese," Danny said to Grace.

"Ew, open a window first!" She grinned back.

Danny bit back a smirk as he tried to look annoyed at her terrible pun. "You're such a goof."

"I take after you," she grinned.

"That's why you're so kneady. Get it. _kneady?"_ He slapped the dough as he said it.

Grace groaned but a flicker of amusement underlined her voice. Danny chuckled to himself. That small look of darkness in her eyes where her soul briefly left her body was gold.

"Cheese first. Lots. Mozzarella," Charlie decided.

"Lots of mozzarella coming up. Do you want to roll the dough flat or shall I?" Harry asked.

"I will. And we need tomato sauce," Charlie stated.

"Yes chef. Your rolling pin."

Harry held it out to the boy like a knight holding out a sword. Charlie took it with the same panache. He had to kneel up on a stool to reach the height he needed in order to roll the dough flat, but he didn't mind. He had an apron to stop the flour covering his clothes, and still he somehow managed to get tomato puree on his sleeve.

"I think we're done," Danny declared and set his hands on his hips.

Grace said nothing, but she did drum her fingers thoughtfully on the side until his hands slipped from his hips.

"What?"

Grace didn't look at him as she cleared her throat. "Don't kill me for this but... maybe we should do some toppings."

Danny's heart dropped. "Toppings? On a pizza? Say you want pepperoni or-"

"I was thinking chicken-" Grace began.

"Okay-" Danny said slowly.

"And maybe some bell peppers-"

"No. No, no way, no. Pizza is for moz and maybe, just maybe, roni okay? It's not for chicken and peppers or-"

"Mushrooms?"

"Mushr- _mushrooms?_ Excuse me, mushrooms? I thought you still had Jersey bones, where's the respect for your ancestors?!" Danny demanded.

"My ancestors?!" Grace snorted, "You told me Uncle Kamekona was being melodramatic about cooking respectfully for his ancestors, but when it's _our_ ancestors-"

"Would you use low budget shrimp in his poke?" Danny demanded.

Kamekona had already drilled it into her that only the best ingredients could ever be used in his recipes. That was the most simple act of love she had. Even the suggestion of it made her pulse race nervously.

"No, but-"

"Exactly, respect the recipe. Pizza is moz and maybe, since we have no roni, some chicken. But don’t go putting vegetables on it Grace, please?"

Grace opened her mouth to snipe back in some way. She was torn between pointing out that he needed to look after his health better, and pointing out how often he used to swing between nagging at Steve for being too healthy or not eating healthily enough, and that this was the best of both worlds and he needed to make his mind up. She settled on neither.

"Mushrooms are a fungi," she stated.

Danny slammed a hand on the counter to stabilise himself as he rolled his eyes hard. "Just get the chicken!"

"Do you _like_ mushrooms Charlie?" Harry asked, pointedly.

Charlie wrinkled his nose. "It's not about liking mushrooms Harry, it's about the quality of each bite. If a pizza is just base and mozzarella you may as well have a grilled cheese sandwich. It needs something more to give it _bite."_

Harry blinked in surprise. He was well aware of how often Danny took him by surprise, and just how frequently he was underestimated for it, but he appeared to have passed that ability onto his children.

"I thought you weren't a chef," Harey said.

"Uncle Flippa watches the cooking channel sometimes," Charlie shrugged.

That was an understatement. The cooking channel and the news were almost the only things on TV whenever Charlie went to visit. Between that and him watching Flippa, Kamekona, Danny and Grace cook, Charlie had picked up a few things.

"How fortuitous for us. How thin shall I slice the mushrooms?" Harry asked.

"Thick enough to still be juicy," Charlie nodded.

"Aye, aye, chef. Shall we add some meat? I think I saw some ham in the fridge?" Harry said.

"Do you think so?" Charlie asked uncertainly.

Harry paused. He wasn’t about to make a change without the boys permission. "Ham and mushroom pizza sounds good to me."

Charlie seemed unconvinced but he said, "Okay then."

"Excellent! We'll win for sure," Harry beamed.

By the time both pizzas had cooked they were all too hungry to bother savouring each others pizzas. They came to the conclusion that the juice of the mushrooms dampening the base was enough to stop it tasting so dry. Grace burned the roof of her mouth on the cheese but carried on eating without a care. Danny would never admit to the idea that pizza could have more toppings than just pepperoni, but he accepted that Charlie had won.

Danny smiled to himself as Charlie raised a hand to high five Harry. Grace's plan had clearly worked, so far at least. As it got later, Danny ushered Charlie up the stairs to bed for the night.

"Danno, I won the pizza competition. Does that mean I can have my prize?" Charlie asked hopefully.

"Course it does bud. What do you want?" Danny asked.

"Next time you go on a date with Harry, I want uncle Steve to babysit."

Danny paused halfway through a step which almost caused him to stumble. Of all the things he could have asked for, that was the one thing Danny really didn’t want to deal with.

"I... are you sure you don’t want like a new bike or something? Maybe a puppy?" He asked, hopefully.

"Nope," Charlie said firmly.

"A unicorn maybe?"

"I want uncle Steve."

Danny sighed as he lifted Charlie's bed covers for him to climb under. He really should have seen this coming. But Charlie had gone almost the whole day without mentioning Steve again and when Harry was around, it was as if Steve never existed. Danny didn’t miss him as much. But Charlie still did.

"Fine. Next time I go on a date with Harry, I'll ask," Danny promised

Charlie beamed and wrapped his arms around his fathers neck happily. "Brilliant! I hope you date him again soon!"

Instinct to him to agree but if it meant facing Steve first Danny suddenly had no idea if he did. He just kissed Charlie's head and wished him sweet dreams. Grace had excused herself to head out for a walk with Eddie before Danny came back down. Harry had opened some wine to share with him.

"Where'd you even find this? It's left over from Kono's welcome home party," Danny laughed.

Harry swirled his glass with a shrug, "wine is wine. I may pretend to be a connoisseur but it's all just fermented grapes in the end."

Danny chuckled again and shook his head. Harry was a wonder. Always had been. Although tonight there seemed to be a little less light in his eyes when he looked at Danny. It was as if he had quietly made a decision that he chose not to share. Danny didn't like that look. In fact it terrified him. So much so that he decided that the best way to deal with it was to pretend he hadn’t noticed and hope it would go away soon.

"There's a nice little place I've found to the north of the island. I'd like to take you there. Perhaps some time in the next week?" Harry said.

Danny nodded along thoughtfully, as though considering this, but he was fully aware he couldn't go. Charlie had school. Grace had work. He was needed.

"Perhaps."

Harry's eyes stayed still in his head but his shoulders tensed and he gave a tired smile that screamed the same way as an eye roll would.

"Let me guess, you'll let me know," he said, calmly.

Danny swallowed. "I'll..."

"Maybe I should try adjusting my date plans to accommodate children. That way you might agree to them faster," Harry teased.

Danny leaned back against the sofa and gave him a weak smile, "You can't beat the zoo."

"I'll bare that in mind," Harry chuckled.

He placed his empty glass down and rose to his feet. He had to lean down again to kiss Danny goodbye, but Danny leaned up to meet him. The kiss dragged as they peeled themselves away. Neither were quite ready to let go yet. When they finally did, Harry picked up his jacket and smiled again.

"Aloha Danny.

"Aloha..."

Danny watched as Harry let himself out of the house in the same way he had let himself in two months ago. That felt like a life time ago now. Everything had moved so quickly for him that it felt like it had always been like this.

But for Charlie this was all new and he didn't much like it.

Danny's hands turned clammy and his pulse raced at the idea of Steve babysitting for him. Especially for a date night with Harry. He hadn’t faced Steve since coming out and he didn't know how he was going to react. Throw Harry into the mix and Danny's mind went spinning with possibilities. The two of them had fought before. Steve had won back then but the stakes were higher now. It was personal now. And Danny still hadn’t told Harry that Steve was back.

His hand dialled a number instinctively and he pressed his phone to his ear without fully registering what was happening. When it clicked, he didn’t wait for the hello. He was too desperate to.

"Mary, I need your help."


	8. Smut ahead

It was difficult to focus for the rest of the day. No matter how hard Steve tried to pay attention to what Joan was saying his mind kept wandering back to what he had accidentally witnessed at Danny's house. He tried to. He had spent a good ten minutes agreeing with her about what shoes she should wear to certain places she was going to in the next few days - Joan put a lot more thought into shoes than Steve ever had - and he had joined in when she randomly started dancing across the floor of the Polynesian Cultural centre. That had caught the attention of the staff, who were only too willing to show her the way to the dance exhibition, where they were delighted to teach her some Hula dance steps. Steve had filmed it to show Mary later. Back home - well, Mary's home anyway - at the dinner table, Mary had been thrilled to see it.

"So you had a good time with uncle Steve?"

"Yeah, he’s the best!"

The bubble of pride in his chest quelled his rampant mind for the next few hours. But now that he was alone, the thoughts came creeping back to him. Steve was here, laying alone in the darkness on a strange bed in his sisters spare room, and Harry was _there._ In _his_ old house with _his_ old partner, probably in _his_ old room and _his_ old bed.

His stomach twisted in disgusted envy at what he could be doing there. Try as he could, he couldn’t avoid his mind going where he shouldn't. Creating images he didn’t want to see. Images he couldn't escape from.

Steve knew what Harry was like. He had never been subtle about the illicit leers and lingering touches he placed on Danny. _Steve's_ Danny. Steve hadn’t liked it back then either. The jealousy he had felt back then felt over reactive. He never thought it would be validated. Every time Harry visited, Danny leaned a little too hard against him. Left his hand on his biceps just a little too long. Licked his lips just a little too often. And Steve had seen him with his girlfriends. He knew the looks, he remembered the whispers.

Steve could just imagine it.

They'd be in a restaurant at first. Somewhere fine and fancy that Harry picked. The kind of upscale place where Danny liked to pretend he enjoyed the atmosphere, but then he'd open the menu. Whatever Danny could understand he wasn’t fond of and even that was far too expensive for him. Then the food would come and it would be small plates designed to look good but wouldn’t touch the sides as it went down. Danny wouldn't be impressed. Steve had seen him at galas. He and Danny always ended up at some burger joint on the way home because they were starving. He wouldn't complain though. Or, rather, he would complain to everyone else except Harry. Because he'd be too busy rebutting Harry's delusions that Steve was competent at his job.

If they even talked about Steve at all.

There was a pang in his chest as he realised that they would probably avoid him as a topic of conversation. Danny probably wouldn't even think of him. Steve hadn’t had a single date in eleven years that didn’t somehow link into a story involving Danny, but Danny had a life outside of Steve. Well outside of Steve.

He had a whole family.

A beautiful, intelligent, mischievous daughter who kept him on his toes and was the very reason he was even in Hawaii. A marvellous, boisterous, walking hurricane of a son who came with a gut wrenching reconnection story and made Danny quietly anxious every time he got sick. An ex-wife who created drama like she was a tectonic plate in a previous life. A Stan, who had found a way to always be a thorn in Danny's side despite being a pretty decent guy sometimes. And Eddie.

Even if they didn’t talk about the family at all, _Eddie_ was a wonder dog. Steve could - and had - gush for forty three consecutive minutes about that dog. With plenty of other people to talk about without even getting to Five-O, Danny could easily not think about Steve once.

It hurt Steve's feelings more than he expected.

What hurt more was that Steve knew the last time that Danny had gotten laid. At least the last time he had heard about. It was before Steve left. Before his surgeries. It was almost twenty months ago, creeping up to two years. Steve was cursed with the painful and unavoidable knowledge that Danny would be _desperate._

Steve wriggled in his bed to try and shift the images from his mind. He remembered the day Danny met Gabby. That look of dumb struck attraction was something he hadn’t seen on his partners face before or since. But if _Harry,_ with his pointed winks and his purring tones and lust dripping through his accent- God damn that stupid accent of his! It was like rich honey being drizzled across the fluffiest golden pancakes. Smooth and sweet and sultry. It was hard to resist the need to lick...

Steve lifted his pillow and slammed it down onto his face.

He wasn't attracted to Harry. He wasn’t attracted to Harry. He wasn’t. Attracted. To Harry.

But he did understand the lure. He had heard the most innocent of phrases turned to absolute filth on his tongue. Harry had a habit of getting close to people, both physically and - not quiet emotionally, but more on a sensational level. Steve was always _k_ _eenly_ aware of how much, or how little, distance Harry put between the two of them, and he had always noticed how little he put between himself and Danny.

How little would it be tonight?

Steve's stomach twisted like a dagger from the inside. His mind plagued him. Harry would pour more wine into Danny's glass, allowing the fruity aroma to fill his nose, magnifying his mouth as he dared to smell. Danny wouldn't be able to resist staring. Licking his own in the same way he would lick them when Steve drank from his beer bottle. Back then Steve had thought nothing of it. Hadn’t appreciated it. How much of a fool he had been.

Harry would keep his voice low. It would draw Danny closer to hear him. To hear the suggestion in his innocent statements. Steve tried to imagine how Danny would react and he cursed himself for being unable to. But he could imagine _Harry._ He could imagine them standing outside the restaurant, both too drunk to drive, waiting for a cab. Harry would link an arm around Danny's waist, turning him to putty as he whispered sweet nothings into his ear and nibbled on his earlobe. Out in the open. Exposed on the street. The absolute pervert.

And that would only spur Danny on.

 _Knowing_ they shouldn't be so indecent in public, Danny would definitely have to take off his jacket. It would be too hot otherwise. Maybe even loosen his tie. Expose the curves of that glorious neck. Primed for Harry to suck on. To bite. To tease Danny and work him up until he was foaming at the mouth.

Harry would probably pay the cab well too for his discretion, despite the fact that Danny would be turning red in the back seat as his pants grew too tight.

Steve hated that.

He hated the idea of an empty elevator. That, CCTV be damned, Danny was going to pin Harry to the wall and get his own back for the tortuous journey here. Steve tried to interrupt them in his mind by sending guests- strangers, families, _children_ \- to use the lift but it didn’t work. None of them made it. Not before Harry was leading Danny by his tie down to his door.

Danny would snatch the card from Harry to scan it before roughly shoving their way into the room. Harry would laugh so smugly at Danny's desperation. Danny would claw at him for it. Dignity was not a word that came to mind when things stood between Danny and what he wanted.

And he wanted Harry.

In Steve's mind, Harry laughed again. He knew he'd have to calm the alarmingly firm bulge in Danny's pants long before he could do anything else to the man. Harry would push him down onto the bed and Danny would happily go. Harry's fingers would roll their way up his chest, sending that tingling sensation wild across his skin. Danny's hips would buck. Harry would sneer again. He would unbuckle Danny's belt and ease his pants down to expose him.

Steve's mind froze on the image.

Danny was laid on his back, tingling all over and clawing at Harry for more. His chest was exposed and his shirt tossed aside in a messy heap beside Harry's. The back of Harry's head was between his legs.

But Steve didn't dare imagine anything vital. He had tried. He had wondered. He had even dared a glimpse in the bathroom when he was drunk. But he didn’t recall enough detail to see it now. He didn’t know whether to be grateful or frustrated.

Then Harry would run his hands across Danny's waist and Danny would wriggle and make outrageous noises that made Steve's own loins twitch even just imagining them. Instead of savouring those whimpers, Harry would pull off his own jacket, roll up his sleeves, and get to work.

Steve's stomach felt sick again.

The sensations that Harry would be privy too... As far as Steve knew, Danny had never been with a man before. Harry would be the first man to know the texture of Danny against his mouth. He would be the first man to know how deep he could go before the gag reflex appeared. He would be the first man to make Danny tangle his fingers frantically into his hair. The first man to taste what he could do when he finally let go...

And Harry would spit, the ungrateful bastard.

He'd spit Danny out as he laid, spent, still hard against his stomach, panting. Another twitch ran through Steve's waist as he imagined it. A glorious sight, even if it wasn’t him that caused it. And then Harry would have _his_ fun.

He would take his time this time. Allow Danny to savour the taste of himself in Harry's mouth. Now that he wasn't fit to burst, Harry would savour every moment, just as Steve wanted to so painfully. Desire ran through his nerves. Every little kiss. Every little lick. Every little nip. Every little gasp. The idea of Danny gasping as Steve sucked his collarbone sent a bit more than a flicker through his loins. Steve felt his own bulge growing under the bedcovers at the imagined sensations.

He could press his whole body against Danny's. Feel his entirety against him. Bare skin on bare skin. Pinch at his erect nipples as he gave long, slow licks at the curve of Danny's neck. There was a spot there that Steve had discovered once, completely by accident. He had brushed against it while his arm was around Danny’s shoulders and the shiver that went through the man took them both by surprise. Danny didn’t look at him for a week. Steve had often imagined what it would be like to suck at that particular spot. To hear the soft gasp and feel the hot breath of his partner against his bare flesh as he did. To see what would happen.

He was keenly aware of the not so imaginary erection throbbing against his leg. It was itching to be touched. Danny could turn him to putty in seconds without even being in the room.

But his mind wasn't quite finished with its treachery. It wouldn't let go of Harry. It was Harry who got to touch Danny first. To push into Danny first. To feel what that could be like. It was Harry's name that Danny cried out, which made Steve's chest burn. Harry just sneered. He worked hard and fast to make Danny squirm. He didn't bother to take his time enjoying his frame or the strength that Steve knew Danny had in him. Because he was strong. What he did with that strength Steve longed to know.

Steve's hand dipped below his waistline. His stomach clenched as his fingers rolled down his long hard shaft. Steve bit his lip to hold in a moan. It had been a long time for him too. He didn't even have tissues to clean up with, which would be a problem for later. Right now, he was twitching with the urge to pump his hand down himself.

Steve's mind rewarded him for a change, by stealing Danny from Harry. In his imagination, at last. This time Danny was in front of him, not beneath Harry. He was already open, Harry had already done his part. He wasn't going to be the first, but it was _Danny._ At least he finally had a chance of his own.

Steve guided his cock with his hand to meet his opening. Danny gasped quietly and gave a soft growl as Steve gently, slowly, cautious lowered his hips against himself. Danny yelped as he came to a stop, completely against Steve's thighs. Steve bit his lip hard. Danny's ass fit against the curve of his lap like it was designed to be there. Designed to take his full length.

For a moment, Steve paused. He held Danny against him, stubbornly enough to leave finger prints in his thighs. He buried his head against Danny's back, breathing in his smell like it was the only thing that kept him alive. For one lingering beat he wanted to fully appreciate the sensations.

Each pulse against him sent a wave through Steve. He tried to keep the rhythm slow and steady, but every time he won a positively indecent groan from Danny he wanted to go faster. To be harder. To bring him to the same dizzy heights of pleasure that he was sending through Steve right now.

Steve's hand slipped round to Danny's front. His fingers curled around his hard cock too. He was careful to balance Danny as he shifted. Danny gasped at his touch and Steve was practically drooling. With every slow, full thrust, he went as deep into Danny as he could go. Each time, he moved his hand in the same rhythm, so Danny could feel what Steve felt. He could enjoy the sensations twice over.

Steve tried to fill him so when he thrusted Danny’s ass clapped against his hips again. He thrust hard, leaning against Danny’s back to appreciate the friction of their bare skin against one another. He wanted to feel every part of Danny. He wanted Danny to feel every part of him. To feel each wave of pleasure wash over him. Steve wanted him to feel the same longing that Steve had. He wanted him to feel just how much Steve wanted him. Just how much he wanted him to be happy. Just how desperately he adored him.

Danny clenched against him and Steve whimpered. His hand stroked his full length again, despite the precum already on his hand. The Danny in his mind came first, but the concoction of noises were too much for Steve. He came across the inside of his pyjamas.

In his mind he could collapse bedside Danny. Anything could happen. Danny could lick him clean. He could kiss him like it was the only way to get air back into his lungs. Or the two of them could just pant together in hot, sticky pleasure. Until his imagination gave him one last act of treason.

Harry smiled across the bedroom, his eyes fixed on Danny. Danny didn’t as much as glance Steve's way. He sat up as Harry approached. Harry got to touch Danny's most precious commodity. No one was ever allowed to touch his hair. Steve felt another hot stab of envy as Danny shifted, giving access for Harry to kiss him. To taste him. To remove any suggestion that Steve had been there at all...

Harry would leave and Danny would follow. Harry would open the Camaro door for him before getting in the drivers seat. Harry would drive away, while Danny smiled at him, forgetting that Steve had ever been in his place. He wasn't anymore. He had been replaced. Replaced by Harry. Because Steve wasn't there. He had missed his opportunity. 

He felt his heart rip itself in two as red hot tears stung at his eyes.

He didn't have a house or a job. He didn't have his family. Grace hated him. Danny had moved on. He couldn't even take Eddie because Mary was allergic. Everything had gone and there was nothing he could do.

Harry had won.

...

Mary drummed her pen repeatedly into her palm as she eyes the back of the sofa where Steve was watching TV. Watching was perhaps an exaggeration. The TV was on and he was looking at it. None of the information was going in because his mind wasn't working anymore. He was tired too. He had given up trying to sleep. The images his mind supplied were not dreams he wanted to have. He couldn't blink without seeing Harry and Danny naked and writhing.

Mary cleared her throat. She had been waiting for a time where he seemed to have come back down out of his thoughts, but these last few days had been as bad as before he left. Steve resided in his thoughts again, and he didn't let anyone in.

"I had a phone call," Mary said.

"Mmm?" Steve hummed.

She wasn’t fully sure he had heard. He could have just been responding instinctively because he had to.

"It was about you," she said.

Steve twisted suspiciously in his seat. "Me?"

Her shoulders eased. He was listening. "Yeah. Apparently Danny's got a date tomorrow night..."

She winced. That could have been handled with more tact. Steve turned all the way to face her and have her a baffled look.

"What's that got to do with me? Danny's a grown man he can date whoever he likes," he huffed.

"The date isn’t about you, okay, let me get there and I'll explain! Don't interrupt," she huffed.

"Sorry-" he began, sarcastically.

"Ah, ah, ah!" Mary held up a hand to stop him. He opened his mouth to argue some more but decided against it. She waited. He listened. She smiled. "Danny and Charlie made a bet and Charlie won. The prize that he won was that he got to choose his babysitter for the next time Danny had to go on a date. And there's one person that Charlie wants to spend time with more than anyone else on the planet..."

Mary had finished with a leading tone but Steve folded his arms and refused to respond. She rolled her eyes.

"Well, go on! Who do you think I mean?" She insisted.

"I thought you said no interruptions," he argued.

"Steve! It's you! Charlie wants you to babysit him tomorrow!" Mary cried.

She loved her brother but you needed to have the patience of a God to deal with him. Steve reeled back urgently.

"Charlie wants me to sit in a house I used to own waiting for the man I'm in love with to come back from a date with a man I used to be friends with, while his sister who hates me is also in the house watching my every move so that can look after him instead?" He asked, drily.

Mary rolled her eyes again. "No. Charlie has invented a way to get to spend time with his favourite uncle even though everyone in that house would rather he spent time with literally anyone else. He picked you because he loves you very much and has given up his chance to have literally _anyone_ be his babysitter because he wants _you._ Are you gonna suck the rest of it up or are you gonna let him down?"

Steve took a breath, and just as quickly let it go and bowed his head. The guilt in his chest was already too much to bare. All he wanted was his family to want him enough to be glad he was home and yet he was attempting to disappoint the one who actually did. Mary scowled at him furiously as she waited for his answer. 

"I can't let Charlie down. He's the only one still on my side."

Mary nodded proudly, "Correct answer."

She carried on, explaining what he was going to need to remember if he was going to look after a kid by himself, but Steve stopped listening. He sat back down on the couch, buried his face in his hands, and sank into the cushions.

This was the perfect opportunity to apologise to Grace. To win back her affections. Which he wanted to do. Definitely. He loved her and he wanted her to not be mad at him anymore. And he loved Charlie. Honestly he was deeply proud of the fact that out of _a_ _nyone_ on this island who he could have look after him, he wanted Steve. He was honoured, really.

But he was still struggling to picture Danny and Harry as two separate entreaties anymore and as much as he desperately wanted to see Danny, he would rather die than see Harry. Especially after what he had done the other night.

Things seemed so much better when there was nothing he could do.


	9. Chapter 9

Grace was more nervous than she cared to admit. Worse than Danny, but she wasn’t the one wandering back and forth running a hand through her hair and messing up what had just been neatened seconds earlier. Her stomach had knotted itself around her lungs and she was struggling to breathe, but at least she wasn't rambling.

"And make sure he knows that the cookie rule needs to be enforced! I don’t want to come home to find out Charlie's been sick because _someone_ wouldn't stop him eating all the cookies he wants. If he gets any at all! Tell him that the cookies aren’t for him to eat _at_ _all_ , he’s a grown man, he can't eat all my cookies, especially when they're for the kids. And-"

"Danno-"

"Charlie needs a _full_ shower, not just a navy shower! Ten minutes _minimum!_ I saw him poking clams washed up on the beach the other day so he definitely needs a whole scrub down-"

"Danno."

"And it's in bed and _asleep_ by eight, not in bed at eight asleep at eleven! Immune systems are helped by sleep so he needs a full nights rest-"

_"Danno!"_

"What? Am I forgetting something?"

"Yes, _me!"_ Grace nodded instantly, "You're not ranting at him, you’re ranting at me. I know all of this stuff! You've got the list right? Give him that and I'll make sure he sticks to it."

Danny's mouth hung open as his eyes searched for the list of instructions that he had written out for Steve to follow. It was laying on the coffee table ready for him to arrive. Danny wouldn't be there to see him. Danny had told Steve that he needed to her there at half past. Since Harry was due on the hour and was ever punctual and Steve's clock ran like it a yo-yo for a pendulum, Danny figured they had a fifteen minute turnaround minimum to avoid Steve. That way Harry would not find out that Danny was lying by omission and Steve would not find out just who Danny was dating. He had planned this carefully.

Despite everything, Danny had full faith in Steve that if, somehow, anything dangerous occurred it would be a. his fault and b. dealt with by removing the children from the situation first. He had never let him down in that before. Grace didn't fully trust Steve not to abandon his post though so she would be there to keep an eye on things. That meant that a responsible adult was definitely in the house with the boys. She would make sure that Steve had and followed the list. But she would also stay in her room doing her work and totally _not_ having a panic attack about finally confronting her uncle and actually trying to listen to his excuses.

As long as Harry still had that stellar ability to pull Danny out of his thoughts and hold him in the moment that he had every other time they met, Danny had faith he wouldn’t spend his whole date worrying too. So he spent this last preparation time worrying instead.

It didn't help that Charlie had decided to shut himself in his bedroom until Steve arrived because he didn't trust himself not to fall for Harry's "evil tricks" again. It was easier, Danny rationed, for Charlie to dislike Harry if he stayed at a distance from him. When Harry did things like joke or speak (definitely speak, Charlie's reactions to a British accent was instinctive) he started to win the boy over and Charlie didn't want to be won. It definitely made it harder for Danny to settle enough to leave though. 

"Do you think Charlie will behave tonight? He knows that Steve isn't staying all night so he might kick up a fuss at bedtime and you know what he's like when he doesn't sleep-"

"Steve's currently living with Joan. I'm sure he's able to get a kid to settle down for the night. And I'll be here too anyway, right? We'll be fine Danno."

"Right. Yes. We will. Of course we will. He's a grown man right? He made it to the top of a military - mind you I've seen some of the others at the top and its not the kind of career you need brains for- is this completely insane? Should I stay, I should stay right?" Danny fussed.

_"No."_

Grace needed him gone. She just did. It would be hard enough to face Steve with her own sense of defensiveness, she didn't need his over protection coming into play too.

"I think I should stay-" Danny began.

"You said Harry doesn't know Steve's on the island and if he finds out the hard way then it'll risk the relationship you've already built. You owe it to him to go!" Grace argued stubbornly. That was enough to convince Danny, but in case it hadn't been, Grace continued, "And you promised Charlie he could have Steve babysitting. You owe him too. And Mary needs a night away from him so you owe her. And... and I need to talk to Steve one on one so you owe it to me too. And above all else-"

"I think I get the picture Grace-"

" _Above all else_! If dating Harry is something that could make you happy long term then you owe it to yourself to go. You deserve to be happy Danno. And you owe it to yourself and to all of us to be happy so we can be happy for you."

Danny straightened his back in surprise and fell silent as he stared at her. Grace took the opportunity to tug his shirt sleeves down neater and smooth his jacket.

"You... how did I get so lucky to have such a smart girl huh? You must have gotten that from-"

Danny was about to say Rachel and Grace would not be in the mood to hear that she was anything like her mother for the next ten years at least.

"I got it from Five-O. Eleven years I've watched you lot sacrifice everything for each others happiness over and over again and what I've learned is that sometimes you have to be selfish with your needs and sometimes..." Grace's heart sank as the nerves dragged it down to the pit of her stomach. "Sometimes you can't save everything, even if you want to."

Danny's heart went out to the kid. He got a renewed desire to stay for her, even though she wouldn't allow him. Grace had been forced to grow up so fast that she sounded ten years older than she looked and sometimes it broke his heart. He wanted to help. Of course he did. No father wants to see their kid in pain. But she had made it clear that this was her problem to solve and no one else’s. All he could do was leave and hope she did okay without him.

A car horn beeped outside and that same sleek car came rolling down the driveway.

"He's here," Danny declared.

"How can you tell?" Grace asked drily.

"Funny," Danny said sarcastically as he picked up his phone and tucked it into his pocket. Danny ran his fingers down Grace's cheeks, parting her hair as he went. "You sure you're gonna be okay tonight?"

Grace took a deep breath and absolutely no air entered her lungs. _I'm going to suffocate right here before he even arrives_. "I'll be fine Danno. I made it through my first full term at college alone, all by myself, I'm sure I can handle this."

Danny hummed as he considered some bigger, scarier, more demanding things that she had also survived. For all of them though, she had Steve cheering her on. Now she only had him worrying on the sidelines. He kissed her forehead gently.

"I love you, be good."

Grace just nodded as she opened the door a millisecond before Harry could knock. He gave her a questioning look and she gave him nothing in return. Harry smiled as she turned her back on him. He was already growing fond of that girl.

"I'm going Charlie! Behave yourself!" Danny called up the stairs.

"I will! Bye!" Charlie called back.

"Bye, Danno loves you!" Danny yelled again.

Harry chuckled at the incessant need for affection that seemed to echo through his whole house. All communications seemed to be done through shouting, no matter how happy or angry or close together everyone was. It was nothing like back in England where conversation was avoided unless by text or football chant.

Grace set her hands on her hips and raised her chin sternly. "Harry?"

Harry tensed to see her stubborn body language. Like she was trying to intimidate him. She didn't succeed, but just an attempt was cause for concern.

"Yes dear?" He asked, politely.

"His curfew is midnight. Not a minute more. One minute past midnight and I'll be on that lalani with my baseball bat," she warned.

There was a sparkle in her eyes and a pink tint to Danny's ears that gave the game away, but Harry tried his best to hold in a smile. He couldn't really imagine Danny openly threatening Grace's dates, but he also didn't doubt that he had in the past.

"I understand ma'am," he nodded.

"Alright you-" Danny began.

"I'm the daughter of a cop y'know, I can have you put on all sorts of lists-" Grace continued.

Her ability to hold in her giggles began to fall apart as Danny started to look a little more flustered than necessary.

"Okay, that's enough, I've never- I've never said that to any of her boyfriends-" he insisted to Harry, "Grover would have killed me-"

He ushered Harry out of the front door but Harry dragged his feet, laughing harder as Grace followed him. She leaned out of the door as they headed down the stairs.

"The speed limit is a maximum, not a target!" She called.

"I'll keep that in mind," Harry laughed.

"I'm watching you English!" She warned, grinning.

Harry laughed again as he turned to the driving seat to unlock his car. Danny rolled his eyes at the pair of them. He turned his back on Grace to follow Harry.

"Hey Danno?" She called, quieter.

Danny gave an exasperated smile as he turned back, "Yes Grace?"

She gave him a warm smile. The best she could muster between her nerves. "You look really handsome."

Danny hadn’t been expecting that. The surprise melted into a flattered smile as he said, "Thanks monkey."

She simply nodded and let him walk down to the car. Once he opened the door she went back to her game.

"Behave yourself. I don't want any more kids running around this place!" She called. Confused by the yelling, Eddie barked loudly as he ran out to join her and she cried, "You tell em Eddie!"

Danny laughed painfully and waved through the window as they drove away. He gave a soft groan and dropped his head against the headrest. He turned to give Harry a queasy smile.

"Sorry about her. She's just a bit... she thinks she's funny." By the warmth in his smile, Danny agreed.

Harry chuckled affectionately, "Oh please, it's fine. That's what families are for, to embarrass you in front of people you love, right?"

Danny's head lifted from the seat like he had heard wrong. He had to have heard wrong. They hadn't been dating that long. He thought he'd jumped the gun by labelling them, but that, that was something else altogether and- And Harry didn’t even seem to register it. But Harry wasn’t flippant with words. He chose them carefully. That was how he maintained his lifestyle. No lies, but carefully phrased truths.

This one was not carefully phrased. Danny had no idea if it was the truth.

"Right..." was all he could think to respond.

"And for the record, if my Sophie was anything like your Grace I think she would have worked this all out years ago," Harry added, as though this was a natural response to a declaration of love. He gave a light chuckle. "I wonder how the two of them will get on."

Danny found himself just kind of staring at Harry. It had taken him a long time to realise that if he continued this relationship than he would become a step father to a girl he had decided was a brat a long time ago. It wasn’t her fault that she had money, the paparazzi following her, and daddy issues, but the way she handled them had been more annoying than Steve was when they were waiting for her ninth fashion show to end.

It hadn't sunk in for him yet, that this kid would become not only his daughter, but Grace's sister. Grace was an excellent sister to Charlie. She was practically a surrogate mum at times. But Danny didn't like the idea of introducing a known bad influence into their house and throwing all of them into the spotlight when her next inevitably scandal was discovered. He wasn't sure how Grace would react to that.

Sophie was a troubled child. She was going to need love care and attention. Danny could do it, but it was going to exhaust his already limited resources. And if Harry continued the life he enjoyed, strutting around like a billionaire playboy, he wouldn't be around for back up. Danny already had a team of delinquent cops to manage, and a family to care for. He didn't really need or want more...

But he wanted Harry. And Harry wouldn't bring it up unless he wanted Danny to think about it. So Danny would. Later. He would think about becoming a father again and he would think about having to split his time between England and Hawaii to do so, and he would try not to let the discomfort already in his gut grow as he did. Right now though, he was going to ignore all of it.

"Where we off to?" Danny asked.

"It's a surprise. You'll love it. It's very... _intimate,"_ Harry smirked.

In one sentence and a clench in his stomach Harry made Danny forget everything he had just walked away from. He was good at that.

Steve drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he stared at the Camaro parked on the other side of the drive. Danny hadn't left yet. Steve would be able to see him all dressed up and ready for his date night. Dressed to impress...

It felt right to Steve these days, to see his truck parked by the garage and Danny's parked by the steps of the lalani. It felt like the days when Danny would stay at Steve's. When they lived together, drove to work together, worked together drank together and went to their restaurant together. Back then they drove each other nuts but today, now, he longed for one more day of being unable to avoid his partner. He hadn't seen him once in eighteen months. The withdrawal symptoms hurt.

Steve took a deep breath. He hadn't been this nervous since Danny made him ask out that vet.

Grace gulped when she heard a knock at the door. She hadn't been this nervous since her first lecture. A lot more was riding on this.

Steve's chest tightened when Grace opened the door. He realised that he had quietly expected them to send Charlie to deal with him so they wouldn't have to. He was unprepared for Grace. 

"Aloha," Steve forced a smile.

The moment he heard Steve's voice Eddie barked madly and scampered over to him. Steve lit up. He loved that dog. Eddie flopped down at his feet, whining at the fact that Steve wasn’t already instantly on his knees making a fuss of him. When Steve knelt down to his level, Eddie licked his face and whipped his tail happily.

"Hey bud! I've missed you pal!"

Steve kissed Eddie's head, right beside his ear and Eddie head butted him in his excitement.

"Ed, where's your pineapple?" Grace asked.

At the word, Eddie raced off, his claws scattering across the floorboards as he went. Steve threw his head back with a laugh at the sight of him running across the house with a toy pineapple clutched in his jaws. Grace felt a bubble of warmth in her chest to hear it. His laughter was so tangled in her favourite memories that hearing it made her insides warm. Steve threw the toy and let Eddie go chasing after it. He had to use the back of the chair to haul himself to his feet again. Steve glanced around hopefully, trying to see if he could see Danny anywhere. He couldn't.

"Danno not around?" Steve asked.

"He's already gone," Grace said.

"Oh..." he swallowed the rush of disappointment and forced another smile. "That's okay. If he's not here to rant he must be beginning to trust-"

"He left you this," Grace held out the letter.

"Me..." the bubble of hope burst when he took the letter from her. "I take it this is a detailed list of instructions that I'm not to deviate from in any way shape or form?"

"Pretty much," Grace nodded.

Steve waved it quietly as he looked at both sides. It wasn't that long ago that he had been sitting in Charlie's teacher's office as Danny's most trusted support system. Now he had a list and a babysitter just to watch the boy for the night.

"Do you remember when you were about ten and I had to look after you while Danno was in hospital?" Steve wondered aloud.

"Which time? The one where you put him there or the one where your actions caused him to put himself there?" Grace asked sharply.

Steve's stomach dropped like he had been punched to it. He bowed his head and muttered, "That's not fair Grace. You know I always tried to keep him safe."

Grace felt a stab of guilt. She hadn't meant for her shields to bite back like that. She hadn't meant to make him look so hurt. Deep down she knew he was just as scared as she was when Danny was injured. He probably was now too. But he had always tried to keep them all safe.

"Sorry... I didn't mean that..." she muttered. She took another breath and said, "I do remember that, that was when mom and Stan left me with Danno so they could go to Molokai for a week."

"Remember what happened to this?" Steve held up the letter with a weak smile.

Grace put a hand on her hip and said, "I remember it being left on the dashboard next to a very open window as you drove at very high speeds into the wind."

"We had a good week after that huh?"

She didn’t want to smile. She really, really didn’t. But he had an infectious kind of grin and the memory of him biting straight into the island's largest shave ice just because she dared him to was something she treasured. Or, rather, the look on his face as he gave himself chronic brain freeze was anyway. Steve's eyes lit up hopefully as he caught the corner of her mouth twitch before she readjusted sternly.

"Well that's not happening tonight. Charlie has a routine, his routine is necessary to plan our routines around so keep his life as stable as possible, if you're part of this now you have to be part of the routine," Grace stated.

"I can do that. The navy is a stickler for routine," Steve said, confidently.

"So are cops but Five-O, not so much. There's always an exception that proves the rule," Grace said.

"Yeah his name is Magnum and he's a PI. Helped your Danno and I solve a matter of national security and rescue Junior from a kidnapping. Good guy," Steve joked.

Grace stared at him like he was insane. "I... I always thought Danno was exaggerating how irritating you can be. But..."

"Mahalo," he said, slightly smugly.

Before now he would have laughed. He would have meant it too. Annoying Grace was a lot more fun when she didn't hate him.

There was a level of frustration in Grace's chest that kept spiking when she tried to let herself be vulnerable. She had found herself some armour and it was hard to let it slip when Steve was around. Even though she wanted to try again, to start over and listen this time, that frustration was overwhelming and she just couldn't get past it.

"Charlie! Steve's here!" Grace called.

There was a gasp of delight from upstairs followed by a thundering of footsteps as the boy raced down the hallway to the stairs.

"Uncle Steve!"

"Hey Charlie!"

He raced across the room and threw his arms around his uncle, just like he had every time they saw each other recently. Grace felt a spring of envy in her gut. Charlie was too young to understand the situation he was living in. He could forgive, because he didn’t know why he shouldn't. He was lucky. Grace wished she could trust as easily as he did again.

"Charlie I'll be in my room if you need me, try not to let Un- uh, Steve, break anything," Grace said.

Charlie just nodded. Grace slipped away upstairs, while pretending that she couldn't feel Steve's eyes tracking her as she went. Charlie looked up at him when she was gone.

"Grace is still mad at you," he warned.

"I know, but she's coming around. She talked to me today. That's a good sign," Steve said.

And it was a good sign. She had apologised for being harsh. She didn't mean to make him feel bad, even if she had. He had to cling to the good signs. They were the only life support he had. After all, he knew how she felt.

_You know, at the end of the day, she was trying to do something good._

_Yeah. I just wish she realized all she had to do was get on an airplane and come home. You know?_

_Hmm._

_From the minute that woman walked out of my life, the only thing I've ever wanted is to have her back in it._

Steve was tugged out of his thoughts by Charlie tugging onto his shirt for attention. 

"What's for dinner?" Charlie asked.

"I don’t know, what have we got?" Steve asked breezily.

"I dunno."

"Let's find out."

...

Danny's heart sank as the restaurant came into view a short hike away from the carpark.

"This is it?"

"Yep. I told you it was intimate."

Intimate was a polite way to put it. What it really was was cramped. Stuffed. The cosy restaurant was snuggled at the base of a mountain to give it an extra small sensation. It was practically a cave with a kitchen. Harry buffed his shoulder playfully to try and usher him onwards. Danny didn’t follow.

"Harry I... I'm not sure about this," Danny said.

He didn't like admitting he was claustrophobic. It felt weak. Like he could face down terrorists and leap from tall buildings and land prop engine planes with no experience and carry nuclear bombs to the edge of the reef, but put him in a lift and he would freak. It made him feel ridiculous.

Harry put an arm around him to hug him close, which did not help at all, and grinned, "nonsense this place is perfect. There's no sneaking up on anyone in this place and you can keep an eye on every angle at once. Perfect for clandestine meetings."

"But this isn't a clandestine meeting, this is a date. Our date. And I don't think spending that date in restaurant built into a cliff face is particularly romantic," Danny argued.

"Then allow me to warm the mood," Harry smiled.

Danny was about to argue again but Harry's mouth was already on the hickey he had placed on Danny's neck days earlier. It sent a shiver straight through Danny's bones to feel his lip curl across his skin so publically. Harry didn’t care who saw. He didn’t care if the whole world knew he was with Danny. He was proud of that fact and he kept that little hickey as dark and fresh as he could so Danny would remember how much Harry wanted him.

It was that that caused the ripple of pleasure through Danny. Knowing that this wasn't some hot and heavy fling. That Harry _wanted_ him in a way that he hadn't been wanted in years. As Harry's arm slid down Danny's, he peeled away from Danny's neck to lead him towards the restaurant. Danny held onto Harry's hand as he was lead. It was something so simple that felt so vividly electrifying. Holding a hand. Holding a man's hand. Holding _Harry's_ hand. Out in the open, where people could see them. It felt daring. Like shouting to the world that Danny was bisexual and that he liked Harry and if they didn’t like it they could damn well put up with it.

An attitude that could have lead him anywhere but into that restaurant. The closer they got the more tables seemed to clutter the inside and Danny couldn't begin to imagine how little oxygen would be left inside to breathe.

"Harry, please, do we have to stay here?" He asked uncomfortably.

The tone snatched Harry's attention fast enough for him to stop walking and look back at Danny. Danny did his best not to look embarrassed.

"There seems to be a problem that I'm not aware of. Are you quite alright?" Harry asked cautiously.

Danny's eye was fixed on the restaurant behind him. "There's so many people in there..."

"Yes? And? Oh-" Harry's faced changed suddenly as something hit him. He let his hand slip away from Danny as he stepped back. "Do you... are you not comfortable being seen with me like this?"

Danny's chest felt like a vice at the idea. It hadn't even crossed his mind that Harry could think that. "What? What, no, no it's not that! No! We already went to Kamekona's together Harry, come on, that's crazy!"

Harry looked slightly sheepish at his automatic assumption, but he breathed a sigh of relief. "Right. That's a relief. But if its not that, then what?"

"I..." Danny clenched his jaw as he gulped. He pulled his gaze away from the door to face Harry again. He didn't want Harry to think any less of him for this, but he also couldn't let him think Danny could ever be uncomfortable with him. "I don’t... I don't like small spaces. Or crowded spaces. Or any kind of situation where I feel like a rat stuck in an airtight container."

The look of surprise that crossed Harry's face was fleeting but it did not go unnoticed. "Ah, I see. That's unfortunate. I wish I had asked now."

"I don't usually tell people it's not exactly..." Danny trailed off. He could feel Harry's gaze on him, searching for more information. Danny just wasn't willing to give it. "Sorry, I didn't mean to ruin your plans-" 

"Nonsense, there's no such thing as a ruined plan, just a sudden adaption to plan B," Harry smiled as if this was a common occurrence. In his line of work it probably was. "I take it you're okay to stay here while I go in to fetch our meal?"

"They do take out?"

"Of course. They have some excellent food here and not a lot of space to serve it."

"Of course."

"Won't be a tick."

Harry said it with a smile and a wink before bouncing off towards the restaurant. Danny had to admit that he was relieved that he didn't have to follow, but it didn’t make him feel much better. Now yet another person knew one of his weaknesses. No matter how much he trusted Harry, he hated that. At least he didn't have to face a panic attack this time. Danny leaned against the car as he waited for him to return.

"Here we are!" Harry beamed. He held up a paper bag to show Danny. "I figured a hearty Jersey chap like yourself would appreciate some decent meat- don't say the pun in your head please, let's try not to lose any class this early into the night."

Danny shut his mouth as quickly as he had opened it, and the smirk on his lips was enough to let Harry knew he had gauged the tone of the pun accurately. He smiled to himself. Danny had a filthy sense of humour outside of work.

"Let's make this a picnic to remember."

...

Charlie wrapped his pale pink towel tighter around him so that his ears poked out from under his make shift hood. Steve chuckled to himself as he watched the boy toddle across the hallway, naked as the day he was born under that towel. It seemed like a life time ago now. Technically it was.

Steve reached out for the door knob when Charlie stopped to wait obediently at his bedroom door. The sight of the reach sparked an idea in Charlie.

"Do you want to see my arm?" He asked.

"Could you be more specific?" Steve smirked.

"Aunt Noelani got a 3D printer and printed out my arm from an X-Ray because Aunt Noelani is awesome!" Charlie beamed.

Steve smiled back warmly, "she sure is buddy."

Charlie dropped his towel as he ran into his room and Steve bit his lip to hide his amusement. Charlie was small and pale and his tan lines were more prominent for it. There was a small hoop line across his chest where he usually wore scoop necked shirts to school that were easy to wriggle out of if he was ever grabbed by anyone. That same shirt system had left his with sleeves printed over his shoulders. But his top half was still a shade darker than his bottom half. Where he ran around in swimming trunks his torso had been touched by the sun, but his swimsuit area was bone white. He looked as though he was still wearing little shorts. It amused Steve deeply when he went hunting under his bed with his bottom in the air.

"Alright kiddo, the arm can wait until you've got clothes on don’t you think?" He smirked.

Charlie sat back on the heels of his feet and looked disappointed, "I can't find it!"

"I'll help you look at another time okay, first let's get you dressed," Steve said.

It had been a bit more of a struggle to get Charlie in the shower than Steve had expected, and then even more of a struggle than that to get him out again. The only reason he got the boy to brush his teeth without an argument was because he found his old toothbrush in the cupboard and agreed to brush his teeth at the same time as Charlie. Charlie had giggled the entire time and refused to tell Steve why.

Now though, trying to dress the boy was like trying to squeeze an octopus through a porthole. Steve tried to gather Charlie's limbs under his control so he could guide them through his pyjama shirt. Every time he got one arm in, Charlie giggled and pulled his other one back, or ducked his head back down inside. In the end, it ended up on backwards and inside out and Steve was exhausted. Charlie was a ball of energy and Steve was getting too old to keep up with him.

"Alright, into bed!" Steve declared.

He scooped the boy up and dropped him down onto his bed so he bounced on the mattress. Steve noted that the bed had changed. Charlie had grown so the racing car was gone. Steve was a little disappointed that they couldn't play races anymore, but more so that his new bed was more grown up too. That he had grown enough to fit it, and Steve hadn't been there to see it.

"Can we gave more pudding before bed Uncle Steve?" Charlie asked.

"More pud- you already brushed your teeth, you can't start eating again now! Now it's time for bed," Steve said.

"But I'm not even tired!" Charlie whined.

Steve set his hands on his hips. "Y'know in the Navy we had bedtime too. Uh huh, lights went out at eight o'clock sharp. Didn’t matter if you were tired or not, bedtime was bedtime. We didn't even get a story, but I'm gonna read one for you anyway-"

"I don't want a story! I want to play some more! I want to find my arm-"

Charlie tried to swing his legs off of his bed to climb down but Steve stopped him. Once Charlie's feet hit the floor again he could take off and then Steve would have to chase him through the whole house. He didn't want Grace to think he didn’t know what he was doing.

"We will at another time Charlie, right now you got to sleep-" Steve began.

Charlie scowled furiously and shouted, _"No!"_

Steve was taken aback. The little boy he had known before he left would never have refused to go to bed. He would refuse to sleep, sure, but he could usually be coerced into that. Steve wasn’t sure how to handle a child refusing to stay in bed. Especially now that he wasn't a toddler anymore. Steve couldn't just cradle him to his chest and stroke his head or rub his back as he listened to his heartbeat to soothe him until he fell asleep in his arms. Not anymore anyway. He was too big for that now.

"Charlie-" Steve began.

"I don't want to go to sleep Uncle Steve! I don't want to!" Charlie yelled.

"But Charlie a full night's rest is important to your health and wellbeing-" Steve began.

But there was no reasoning with the boy. Since Steve wouldn’t let him climb off of the bed, Charlie decided to stand on it. And then, since there were springs in his mattress, he began bouncing, much to Steve's dismay.

As he bounced he chanted, "I don’t wanna sleep! I don’t wanna sleep! I don’t wanna sleep!"

Steve gulped. He glanced nervously at the door, hoping that Grace had her headphones in and wouldn’t be able to hear this. He didn’t want her to think any less of him than she already did. Then it hit him. Her headphones. _Music!_

"How about I play you a song before bed then?!" He called over the boys chanting.

Charlie cut himself off as he stared at Steve. Steve's heart rose hopefully. He had Charlie's attention. Charlie's jumping slowed as curiosity grew in him.

"A song?" He repeated.

Steve nodded urgently. He was so delighted that he had managed to stop Charlie from jumping that he had momentarily forgotten that he didn't actually know any lullabies anymore. That was a problem for later. Right now he needed to get Charlie to agree to stay quiet for long enough that Grace wouldn't come to investigate.

"I've got my guitar in the garage-"

"In the garage? But we left it in the attic?"

"That's my _old_ guitar. Downstairs is the guitar Danno brought me. If you stay here and stay _quiet_ so Grace doesn’t hear us, I can go get it."

"You mean it?"

"Course..." Steve hid his nervous gulp with a shrug and warned, "You have to promise that you'll stay in bed afterwards though."

Charlie dropped down onto his bed, making it creak disconcertingly and beamed, "Okay!"

"Promise?" Steve warned.

"I promise!" Charlie grinned.

"Pinkie promise?"

Steve held his crooked pinkie finger out as a challenge to Charlie. The boy looked at it for a moment, before shuffling forward to link his own around it. Steve grinned.

"Alright, let me go find that guitar."

...

"I cant believe you’ve never tried this before. It can't be that much of a secret spot. McGarrett must know about it surely?" Harry said.

Danny shrugged as he picked at the side of fries that came with his steak burger. He was grateful for the Britishness of Harry that forced him to swap macaroni salads for fries. The man could eat fries with anything. Rachel had too. Steve, however, always wolfed down a macaroni salad. He had passed the health craze on to Grace which disappointed Danny.

"Maybe, but if he does he's never told me about it," Danny said.

"Keeping the best parts of the island to himself is he? I'm sure he knows all sorts of secrets," Harry chuckled.

Two flicked into mind instantly. Steve definitely knew about his claustrophobia. And he knew how emasculating he found it and how much he hated that feeling. Maybe he hadn't ever brought him here so he could save face. That was very McGarrett. If Danny didn't know how good this place was he wouldn’t ever be put in a position where he would ever have to suffer to get it or be disappointed by missing out. As for the other secret...

It wasn't that Danny thought Harry's opinion of him would change much, or that he wouldn't understand what he had done and why, but only two people on the planet knew Danny's biggest secret and it had taken him so long to accept what he had done that he didn’t want to risk brining up those feelings again by telling Harry any of it. Besides, this wasn't the time.

"I'm sure the Neanderthals full of confidential information. Just like you, English," Danny shrugged.

Harry eyed him curiously. "Is Neanderthal a term of endearment between you and him, or just an insult?"

Danny deliberately bit into a fry so he could give himself time to come up with an answer under the guise of chewing. If he was honest with himself, all his little insults had become terms of endearment for Steve. Once, Steve had called his curmudgeonly outbursts a love language just for him. Danny had disliked how accurate that felt then and he disliked that it still felt accurate now. He had spent so long using insults to show affection that when he wanted to insult Steve now he couldn't do it without sounding a little affectionate. He couldn't admit that to Harry though. He could barely admit it to himself. So he lied.

"Just an insult. Why?"

Harry gave him one of those breezy but dazzling smiles that made it hard to swallow because his stomach was busy cart wheeling. "I was trying to figure out if English was a pet name or an insult. I’ve heard it used both ways."

"I don't think I've ever wanted to insult you," Danny admitted.

"Given how often I’ve heard you insult people over any little grievances I will take that as an honour," Harry teased.

Danny pouted. "I'm not that petty."

The way Harry laughed so openly at him made him scowl. Usually if someone laughed at him he had his own put downs to retort with, but Harry carried himself with such class and dignity at every waking moment. It was hard to find things to tease him about. He was much more secure than Danny which made things feel more difficult too.

"When we sat down you said you wished we had a blanket because you don't like sand," Harry said.

"I don’t. So?" Danny huffed.

"You also said that the wind was blowing in off the sea and blowing salt at you which made your food too salty," Harry smirked.

"And?" Danny demanded.

"Your grievances are petty my dear. Endearing, but petty. You're lucky that you're cute when you’re grumpy," Harry smiled.

Danny folded his arms across his stomach, pouted, and did his best to not look like a giant sulking toddler. He failed.

"Am not," he grumbled.

Harry chuckled. He leaned forward on his knees to plant a kiss on Danny's cheek. Danny's blush bloomed out of it. Harry's smile widened. It never failed to delight him that Danny was so easy make blush. For a man who could do wonders in bed, a simple kiss to the cheek shouldn’t be so enchanting.

"Given your aversion to the sun and the sea and the sand, remind me just why you’re on this island again?" Harry teased.

Danny huffed again, "Because _I_ would do anything to be with my daughter."

Danny winced at how sharp he had unintentionally sounded. He didn’t mean to imply anything about Harry and Sophie's relationship, he wouldn’t dare. Fortunately, if Harry had even caught it he didn't show it.

"Yet your daughter lives in New England now," he countered, calmly.

Danny shrugged like that had nothing to do with anything. "But this is her home. And my son lives with me. He loves the water. I blame Steve."

"We're allowed to talk about Steve again now?" Harry asked.

Danny tensed at the question. Defensiveness leapt out of him automatically. "Well _you_ brought him up!"

When Harry gave him a look with a minuscule amount of additional curiosity, Danny forced a smile to try and soften his tone but it didn't work.

"Besides, it is his fault. I wouldn't ever have taken Charlie to the beach, do you know how many diseases are waterborne?"

"Thousands if not millions but I believe that the most common ones predominantly occur in dirty, still, freshwater, not the rolling Pacific ocean."

Danny shook his head and gave a laugh but when his head turned back towards the ocean his mind wandered. It often wandered when he looked out to the horizon. Usually it wandered to wherever Steve was at the time. It still did. Danny's mind wandered back across the waves to his house, where his children were. Where Charlie was. With Steve.

The anxiety in him made his chest ache. It always did when Steve wasn't right beside him. He could be in any sort of trouble. It followed him. And this time the kids were with him. Danny chewed his lip.

"I might call in," he said.

Harry tilted his head. "Call in?"

"Yeah, just to check he’s in bed," Danny said. "Sleep helps the immune system develop and Charlie's needs all the help he can get."

It was all that Harry could do to stop himself from rolling his eyes. Sometimes it seemed like even when Danny was there, was never fully there. Not even when they were alone. _Especially_ when they were alone.

"I’m sure Grace can get him to sleep," he argued.

Danny wrinkled his nose in confusion as he momentarily forgot his lies, "Grace? Oh right, yeah, Grace... of course she can..."

Harry caught it. Of course he did. It wasn’t subtle. Danny wasn't exactly in the right frame of mind to follow through the pretence. Harry looked him up and down.

"Can I ask you something?" He asked curiously.

Danny nodded, "Of course."

"Why are you so protective of Charlie?" Harry asked curiously.

Danny lifted his head to give Harry a baffled look. "Because he's a kid? He's _my_ kid. He needs protecting."

"I understand that, but from what I can tell Grace has always been more grown up than she should be. Forgive me if I'm wrong but from what I've heard Grace has been through many dangerous situations, many more than Charlie ever has, and while she had to grow up to face them and defend herself, Charlie still gets to be a child."

Danny's face twisted as that bubble of defensiveness bloomed in his chest again. It was quick to anger even if Danny wasn’t. "Firstly Charlie _is_ a child. And I don't think Grace grew up too fast!"

"She went to her first high school party at thirteen Danny. There’s a difference between our cultures and I may have this wrong, but isn’t that a little too young for your version of high school?"

"And she was punished for it. Just like she was punished for pulling childish pranks-"

"Was she a child at the time?"

"She..."

Danny trailed off which gave Harry a slightly smug smirk that irritated Danny. But Danny let go of that anger with a huffy sigh. The two of them had spent a lot of time in the last six weeks talking about their kids. Harry had put in the time to listen and witness and think. He had earned the right to question Danny's parenting skills, especially if he hoped to emulate them.

"alright, look, maybe - _maybe_ you have a point. Maybe I was always a little too protective of Grace, but that's not my fault. She’s a target. She is the best thing in the world to me and that put her in danger. She was kidnapped. She was held hostage at her _prom._ She was in a horrible car accident and she was in Rachel's car when it was hijacked - and when Steve's was stolen! And on top of that she lived through two divorces, uprooted her childhood to move here, her baby brother almost died, a building collapsed on her father, her favourite uncle was murdered, I got arrested - Steve got arrested which meant she and Rachel had to move to Jersey on their own - I had to leave her with Kamekona when that tidal wave was going to hit us too, and I..."

Danny closed his eyes as his words failed him. Sometimes he thought back to that day. The day of the tidal wave that never hit. That was the first time that he had ever had to leave Grace for the full day for an actual emergency that he couldn't promise to come home after. She barely knew Kamekona at the time too. She was scared. It was the first time he had ever seen real fear in his daughter's eyes. That was the first time she actually understood the danger he was facing. Since then they had developed a good safety net of people who could keep her protected and out of harms way - Steve and Kamekona being the two that Danny relied on most - and Charlie had never had to be as scared as she was that day. Hopefully he never would be. And Grace had become his first line of defence.

"Okay. I understand now. It wasn't _y_ _ou_ that made Grace have to grow up so fast, it was the world. That makes more sense. And those mistakes can be fixed for Charlie," Harry said in a tone that was too heavy to be that soft, "I'm sorry to have brought it up, I should have just accepted that you're a good father and you've got good reason to do things. I apologise."

But Harry had opened gates that Danny rarely dared to go near and he couldn't stop them now. Danny's eyes never left the ocean as he pictured Steve waist deep with Charlie on his shoulders, just like they had been the day Charlie fell in love with the sea.

"I didn't know he was mine for three years. When I found out... I had to watch my son spend his childhood in a hospital bed, unable to go outside to play in case he got sick and it killed him... I had only just met him and everything was a threat that could take him away from me. So maybe I'm a little bit defensive of him. Maybe I like the idea of him being a little kid forever because of how much I missed, but if I could go back and give Grace the same chance of a happy, _carefree_ childhood, of course I would. But I can't. So we have to make the most of what little time we do have to make sure that at least is happy."

It was a hard thing to admit. If Danny could go back he could change so much for his kids. He could help both of them be happy. Keep Steve around for them. But if he did that, he probably wouldn’t be sitting on the sand watching the stars blink into the sky with Harry by his side.

Harry seemed to sense his thoughts as he shuffled closer. "Then I suggest we make what little time you and I still have happy too."

Danny's heart tightened. He looked at Harry in alarm. "What little time we have?"

"Indeed. Your curfew is midnight after all," Harry smiled.

"Oh, right," Danny gave a soft chuckle as relief washed over him. "What do you have in mind?"

Harry's eyes darkened as his smirk grew devilish.

Less than twenty minutes later, Danny's heart was beating a samba. His skin was tingling. Partly because he was covered in goose bumps and partly because he was keenly aware of every inch of him at this exact moment. The water was colder than usual. The sun wasn’t around to warm it anymore and it had cooled off through the sunset.

Harry swam. They were only far enough out for Danny's feet to still touch the floor flat. Harry didn't care though. He lived dangerously. The confidence he had in himself was deserved. Danny's eyes tracked his form as Harry dove beneath the waves. 

All they had to see by was moonlight. It trickled down through the night and down onto the waves, reflecting around them to make it seem brighter than it usually did. Or maybe it was brighter than it usually was. Maybe Danny's eyes were just wider than usual. It wasn’t every day he found himself stark naked up to his shoulders in the ocean after all.

"You're doing fantastic," Harry declared as he circled Danny.

Danny wanted to be annoyed, but Harry didn't sound condescending in the least. If anything, he sounded proud.

"And more importantly you look _ravishing,"_ Harry purred.

Danny didn’t have the ability to blush because the cold had drawn the blood vessels up through his skin so he wasn't far off blushing anyway. He just shivered. He shivered for other reasons when Harry stopped swimming in circles and let the waves wash him closer to Danny.

"You happy now? I'm butt naked shark bait. If I get eaten you have to promise me you'll throw my clothes into the sea so no one will know about this. I don’t want them to think I died naked," Danny joked.

Harry chuckled as he planted kissed into the bare skin of Danny's neck, above the waterline. "Why not? You were born naked, you could die naked. What a fine circle to finish."

"What a shock for whoever finds my corpse," Danny said.

"If you're eaten by a shark they probably won't," Harry said.

Danny rolled his eyes drily. "Thanks that’s really helpful shall we go back in to shore?"

"Not yet. I do like the way you look right now."

Harry put some distance between the two of them so he could admire Danny again. Part of Danny felt as though he was being painted. Like Harry's eyes were tracing strokes across his body to capture this image forever. He daren’t wonder what Harry would do with it later.

"I wish you could see yourself. That look of stubbornness in your eye and the way the water hides just enough of your body to keep me guessing if you actually _are_ fully nude like I am-"

Danny's lower half reacted to the reminder that Harry was also naked. That it was only water that separated them. That hid them. If he wanted to, he could reach out and touch-

Harry was pulled forward by the glimmer of indecency in Danny's eyes. "In all the time you've lived on this island, isn't it a shame you’ve never had a dalliance under water?"

Danny licked his lips and gulped as Harry's hands moved under water. They had yet to find skin, but the ripples their movements caused were caressing him in ways he hadn't imagined possible. Despite the lure and the temptation, Danny refused to take another step closer. The water could lift them with ease. Make them weightless. And while that offered some honestly wicked temptations, it risked a rather traumatizing end. One that Danny had feared since childhood.

"Water is where Steve's comfortable. Not me," he said, pointedly.

Harry's face changed. The ripples he was sending towards Danny's lower half eased until they were gone.

"Ah. I think I preferred when we didn't talk about him," he said.

"I think I prefer staying on the shore with clothes on," Danny said.

Harry looked at him with a small speck of wonder, "You really haven't ever had sex outside have you?"

Danny's face changed too but he didn’t say anything. He had never been particularly adventurous in that area. With women it was easier to go back to bed either at his or at theirs or hire a hotel room. With men- well until Harry it had basically only been bathrooms. That was the closest he ever got to outside.

"We should fix that," Harry purred.

Danny took a step back as he felt Harrys hand brush his hip. At least he hoped it was Harry's hand. In the darkness of the water he'd never know for sure.

"Not here Harry. Please, I don't- I really don’t want to," Danny muttered.

Danny's hand cross his stomach as he gripped onto his other arm nervously. Harry looked disappointed, but tried not to show it.

"That's fine. We've got time... I don't want you to do anything you're not comfortable with," he insisted.

Danny held back a laugh. He gave Harry a soft but amused look. "Harry because of you I'm standing up to my neck in the ocean freezing my balls off because of you, and sand is _definitely_ going to stick to places I'm not comfortable!"

Harry brightened up again as he recalled the look on Danny's eyes just before he began to strip for Harry back on the sand. 

"Oh this was all you. If only I had known how far you'd go just because someone said you wouldn’t earlier, " Harry teased.

"How long have we known each other? You should know by now if you tell me I can't I'll find a way that I can," Danny snorted.

 _How very McGarrett._ Harry bit his bottom lip to stop himself from saying it. The movement made Danny's jaw clench, so Harry made sure to run his tongue across his bottom lip before speaking again.

"What are you thinking?" Danny asked, as if he wasn’t thinking something similar himself.

"I'm wondering just how much of you tastes like salt right now. The prospect of tasting to find out is... titillating..." Harry purred.

"How much time do we have?"

"That depends, how willing are you to let me fuck you in my car?"

Despite the way Danny's entire body tensed eagerly at the way the word sounded in Harry's accent, he knew he couldn't do it. Sex in a car was fine when he was twenty, but they were over forty now and just sleeping on the sofa made his body ache for a week.

"Then we'd better hurry. The hotel is not as close as I'd like."

"Then you'd better drive _fast."_

Harry's devilish smirk grew again. He definitely liked the new eagerness he found in Danny. Alright his comfort zones were limited, but Harry could deal with that. Especially when the rewards were so delicious. He had very little time left and he planned to make the most of it.

The rental company were less than pleased about their speeding ticket though.

...

The sound of a guitar caught Grace's attention. She tugged one headphone out of her ear curiously. The sound was hushed, muffled by distance, but unmistakable. Someone was playing a guitar nearby. Curiously, Grace crept out of her room. It was clearer out here. The music was definitely coming from inside the house. By the crack in the doorway that was still letting light flow into the hall, she assumed it was coming from Charlie's room.

The soft twang of the strings grew a little louder as she picked her way over to the door. She avoided the creaky floorboards so they wouldn’t hear her coming. She stayed low. Through the gap in the door she could see Steve sitting on the edge of Charlie's bed. He had her back to her. Charlie was curled up on his pillow, watching Steve play. He was already stuggling to keep his eyes open.

No one knew she was there. Curiosity gripped her as she felt drawn down low. She didn’t want to be noticed. She didn’t want her presence to interrupt.

Grace had never seen Steve play any musical instruments before. She didn’t even know he could. It felt like there was a lot she didn’t know these days. Like how croaky his voice went when he was singing.

"The other night dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms... But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken, So I hung my head and I cried..."

Steve tried to push away memories of long nights and sweet dreams that disappeared the moment he woke up. He had had so many. None of them ever lasted. Trying to push them away only made others bubble to the surface. Even the most recent. With his back to both kids, Steve was singing to his imagination. He just happened to imagine Danny.

"I've always loved you, and made you happy, and nothing else could come between. But now you've left me... to love another... You have shattered all of my dreams..."

Grace felt her heart in her throat at the way his voice changed. The gravel in it grew like he was holding something back. Some kind of quiet cry that was desperate to slip out. Grace had never heard him like this before. She had never imagined how softly he could sing. How soaked in pain he could sound. How vulnerable... It gripped her in a way that rooted her to the floor. She couldn’t look away if she tried.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey... You'll never know dear, how much I love you..."

Steve's head tilted as he glanced down at Charlie's head snuggled against his pillow. He was already out like a light. The move was so minuscule that no one else would have noticed it. Grace felt tears stinging at the corner of her eyes.

"Please don't take... my sunshine... away..."

There was one final stroke of the guitar strings before the music faded into a heavy silence that hung over the house. The entire building was caught, frozen in the moment that a voice cracks before the crying could start for one, long, agonizing beat.

Then Steve sniffed. 

A barely audible sound that shattered the silence. One sniff to hold back the ball in his throat. Grace swallowed to hold back her own.

She felt like she had seen too much. As quickly and as quietly as she could, she scrambled away before she could be noticed. When she got to the safety of her bedroom her heart was thumping hard against her chest. She wiped away her tears with her arm.

This was not how she had seen tonight going.

Charlie looked so utterly peaceful when he slept. Like a precious china doll. So unlike the bounds of energy charging within him. Steve leaned down to kiss Charlie's forehead. His breath was shaky as he whispered goodnight like it was the last time he would ever be allowed to be this close to him. For all he knew it would be. 

"Night Charlie. Uncle Steve loves you."


	10. Chapter 10

Eddie was not supposed to be on the furniture. Steve had never allowed him onto the furniture. But with two children running rings around him while he tried to settle Five-O as a solid team before he could hand it over to the next leader, Danny's rules at home had gotten a little lax. Eddie let out a deep, exhausted sigh that sounded so devastating that Steve's hand moved to stroke his head.

"What's wrong bud? Hard day at work?" He teased.

Eddie licked his hand and shuffled to rest his head in Steve's lap. Steve snorted affectionately and scratched behind his ears. Eddie was a comfort that Steve didn't know what he would do without. The dog didn't do anything but offer help and companionship and love. Steve would take all of that that he could get.

Grace lingered by the bottom of the stairs as she watched the back of his head. This was the last chance. The last opportunity to back out. To escape the awkward fear and run back to her room. For things to stay as they were forever.

Like this....

Forever...

That made her chest ache more than the fear of the unknown ahead of her. She couldn’t bare this any longer. No matter what happened, she couldn’t just let him go without a fight. She took a deep breath.

"D'you mean it?"

The voice seemed to come from nowhere but it gripped hold of Steve's heart like a hand grenade. He sat up and twisted to see her at the foot of the stairs, like she couldn't bare to be any closer.

"Grace... I thought you were-" he began.

"Did you mean it?" She repeated stubbornly.

Steve blinked. His mind had gone blank. He had no idea what she was accusing him of.

"Mean what?"

"That you love us?"

Steve reeled back in surprise. The uncertainty and accusation in her voice hit like a mallet. She doubted it. He couldn’t believe it was possible, but she doubted that he loved her. That alone made him want to cry.

" _Of course_ I do. I always loved you Grace. With my whole heart, I promise!" He insisted.

Grace's chest heaved. The promise unstuck her from her spot and she hurried forward, desperately seeking answers. "Then... then why didn't you answer me when I called you?!"

Steve stared at her blankly, "What?"

"I phoned you!" She insisted, gripping the back of the chair as she did, "It was my first night at college. My first night alone, really alone, in a strange place and I was terrified! I phoned you - you said you'd always answer my calls but you didn’t. Why didn’t you?"

Her voice was full of accusation. Her mind had supplied her with assumptions. Of possible situations, all of which made him the bad guy. But the way he was staring at her with such pure bewilderment threw every single one out of the window.

"Grace... Grace I promise, I _swear_ that I didn't get that phone call. I must have been flying or, or maybe my phone died or something, I don’t know, but I promise if I had gotten that call I would have answered!"

It broke Grace's heart to see the unfiltered honesty shining in his eyes. He had never once lied to her before. She had no reason to think he was now. But if he was telling the truth then she had wasted the last nine months being completely pointlessly hurt by a simple misunderstanding.

"That's very convenient Steve," she accused.

"I... I know," he admitted sheepishly, "It's not a very good answer, I know, but... sometimes it's just unfortunate coincident that keep us apart... if I had known you phoned- if I had known which college you were at-"

Steve cut himself off like he had been burned. By now usually someone would have cut him off and told him it didn’t matter anymore or they didn’t believe him or whatever he had wanted was wrong in the first place. By now someone usually told him he was still the bad guy here. He didn't really expect Grace to still be listening.

"What?"

She asked a simple question that was so heavily loaded that Steve didn’t know how to begin answering it. Just like Danny.

Steve licked his lips uncertainly. "Honestly? I want to say I would have come to visit you but... but I'm not sure I would have. The idea of visiting you at college, all grown up, on your own - probably still mad at me - I don't think I would have been able to face you knowing how much I had missed of you growing up..."

Grace's face twisted with misunderstanding and confusion, "What?"

"I should have been there to help you move off the island. That first time, when you're young, its scary," Steve swallowed as he tried not to think of the harrowing memory of the first time he had been forced off of his island, "I should have been there."

He bowed his head as he blinked back damp eyes. Grace's chest eased. Her folded arms slipped away from her chest. She wandered around the sofa to face him properly.

"Yeah... yeah you should have," she said as she perched on the edge of the chair opposite him. "So why weren't you?"

Steve twisted back to face her. He set his forearms on his thighs and did his best to hold her gaze even though everything in him was burning with guilt every time he did.

"Because I'm only human Grace. I fuc- I messed up. I made a mistake when Danny stopped answering my calls. I got into my own head and I got scared. The rest was just bad timing..."

Steve sighed helplessly as he hung his head again. _B_ _ad timing_. Even he wasn't convinced by his answer. It didn’t matter how true it was, bad timing didn't ease any pain. It didn't stop the way Grace looked so betrayed whenever she looked at him. It just felt cheap. Like it could have been avoided. And it could have if he had only tried harder...

There was a long, heavy silence between them as the answer sank in. Then Grace took a deep breath and let it out in another long, slow exhale. Steve braced himself for her to berate him, but she didn't. Her mind had shifted, and now he had to catch up to her.

"Danno tries his best and it's hard. I know it's hard. I really appreciate how hard he's trying and I know that when I go he won't have time for Ha- his partner anymore, but..."

Grace wasn’t looking at Steve. Even when he raised his head she wouldn’t meet his eye. Her expression had changed. She no longer looked so hurt and angry that she had been betrayed. Instead she just looked... sad...

"As much as I love Danno, sometimes I feel like he doesn't see how much I do for this family. He still thinks I'm a little kid. You never treated me like that Uncle Steve. I never got false promises from you. Not until you left."

Her eyes finally flicked up to meet Steve's. All sense of anger had vanished. All that was left was tired pity. It washed a fresh wave of new guilt across his heavy heart.

"I said I'd come home, I just didn’t know when," he insisted.

It was less of an insistence actually. More of a quite plead. Because as far as he could remember he had tried not to give anyone any hope. Clearly he had just handled it badly.

"Not to me," she argued sternly, "You didn’t say anything to me. Not even goodbye. And I missed you so much when mom left. Everyone told me it's fine and she'll come back soon but... but you didn't so why would she?"

Grace looked down at her knees as Steve's heart broke all over again. He had been so selfish about this. Thinking that her anger and her hurt was so entirely about him. But of course it wasn't. He was just the only one who had come back to face the wrath that had been left behind.

Once upon a time Steve had carried Grace in his arms, cradled against his neck as she slept. He had carried her all the way down from the rooftop party that she had fallen asleep at, driven her and Danny home, and carried her to bed. Now he hesitated to lay a hand on her knee. She stared down at his touch like it was something she had felt before so long ago she could hardly remember it. When she glanced up to meet his eye, he swallowed, but he held it.

"I promise you that I'm back now. I'm not going anywhere this time."

The words rang through Grace's chest like a cry for peace after a long and relentless war. But not everyone believed the amnesty announcement.

"I know you'll try. I can see it in your eyes. I just..." she shook her head and swallowed as she looked away, "my head just doesn't believe it."

_Three years ago, when you looked me in the eye and you promised me you'd stay, but you left anyway, you knew you were gonna do that, too, didn't you? Huh? You knew and I knew, too. You want to know how I knew?_

_No, how did you know?_

_Cause you did it exactly the same way you did it all those years before when you left me and Dad and Mary. Exactly the same way. Bye, mom. Bye._

Steve's mind replayed the moment he had tried to give up on his mother. The moment he felt he should have given up on her. He should have just walked away. He didn't want Grace to ever feel that way about him. Although the pity in her eyes wasn’t for him. It was for herself. He had seen that before too.

"I don’t want to sound like I'm overstepping my mark here," he said slowly, "but, uh... but is there something more than this that's upsetting you?"

"More than you abandoning the family?" She asked sharply.

It was an instinctive bite of self protection and when Steve’s hand slipped from her knee and she swore inwardly. She didn’t like how sharp she had become, but it was so hard to be soft when the world around her wasn’t.

"See the Grace I know doesn't say mean things like that. She's not that flippant. I think you're deflecting," Steve said cautiously.

Grace flinched. Steve caught it. He was onto something and he had an inkling as to what. But it wasn't time. Grace wouldn't look at him as she shook her head again.

"Slow down," she said softly.

Steve blinked. It wasn’t a bark. It wasn’t an order. It was just a statement. With tentative hope, he repeated, "Slow down?"

"Yeah. Slow down," she repeated, louder. She lifted her head slightly, but didn’t try to hold his gaze. "You might be back for good, but you've still missed a lot. You don't know me well enough for this anymore. We're not there yet."

"Okay..." Steve said slowly.

He didn’t know what else he could say. Grace was in control of this. She had to be. He had to let her take the reins. But he hated the slow and steady route so deeply because he never fully knew where he stood until it was over.

He inhaled to ask a question, but hesitated. He didn’t want to push her, but he just had to know. "Grace... just so we're on the same page... we're not there, _yet?_ In that we haven't hit that bar, but we are on our way? We are moving forward, even though it's still a long way to go?"

The hesitance in his voice was audible. It was tinged with nervous hope. Like he didn’t dare fully believe it until it was explicitly stated. Steve never dared hope for more until it was set before him as practically certain. Grace looked up again to hold his gaze. There was a long beat that felt like it would never end before a soft smile curled on her lips.

"Yeah Steve. We'll get there one day. Just... just for now, slow down."

Steve let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding. A smile crossed his face as he dared to hope they could actually get past this again. That he hadn’t ruined everything forever. That she didn’t hate him after all.

They could get past this.

They would get past this.

And they would come out stronger for it.

Grace glanced at the clock and her mind switched back to her father. "Actually you should go. Danno's due home at midnight and he doesn’t want to see you."

Just like that the wind fell out of Steve's sails. "He doesn’t?"

"Oh, no, sorry, not like that, um-" Grace began urgently.

"He doesn’t want _Harry_ to see me," Steve translated with a heavy sigh.

Grace's eyes winded with surprise. "He told you about Harry?"

Steve shook his head softly and gave a weak smile, "No. No, but I'm a detective. I know my ex partner better than anyone, even if he thinks he's changed... can I ask you... no. That's not fair. Don't worry about it. I'll go."

He rose to his feet to prepare to leave and Grace straightened her back urgently, "Steve wait-"

Steve forced a reassuring smile and said, "It's okay, I'll go."

"What did you want to ask?" Grace asked.

"It's really okay-"

Steve stumbled towards the door so that he wouldn’t have to answer her but Grace was quicker than him. She darted past him and ducked under his arm as he reached for the door to slam it shut. Steve stepped back in surprise as she held her ground in front of him.

"Steven. What did you want to ask?" She demanded.

Steve's face twisted as he took another step back. Whatever it was, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer. Although once he had told her that the questions that you fear the answers to are the ones you have to ask the most. She still didn’t fully understand it, but she refused to let him get away with not following his own orders.

"All I was gonna ask was, um..." Steve glanced towards Eddie for support. The dog just stared at him with the same expectation that Grace did. "Is... is he... Danny, does he... when he’s with..."

Grace waited for him to find his words. He took a deep breath as he tried to soothe his beating heart.

"is he _happy?"_

Grace blinked in surprise. As far as she was aware her father was always happy. At least he always pretended to be. Sometimes he didn’t quite manage it, but he always tried.

"I... I think so. He seems happy," she nodded.

"Good. He deserves that," Steve said.

Grace tilted his head. His words didn’t match his tone and she couldn’t put her finger on why. Why he sounded so disappointed and hurt that Danny was happy. The confusion stopped her from arguing when Steve gently nudged her to one side so he could leave. Grace turned on her heels and hurried out after him.

"Unc- uh, Steve?" She called.

Steve paused in the drive way to look back at her. "Yeah?"

A million things to say went spinning through her mind. Things that she wasn't sure how to. Things that she struggled to even put into words. Steve waited patiently for her to settle on one. Her shoulders sagged as she lost her confidence.

"Um... drive safe."

Steve took a moment to decode the meaning in her tone. He gave a soft smile once he had. "I will. Sweet dreams Grace."

"Night..."

She had no idea what to do now, so Grace awkwardly shuffled back inside. Steve's mind trailed away from him as she shut the front door.

_Steven, wait!_

_What?_

_Nothing, just... come here. I love you and I'm so proud of you._

_I love you, too, Mom._

The sound of a car engine caught Steve’s attention long enough to snatch him back to the world. When the beams of the headlights turned towards the end of the drive way, he realised it had to be Danny. Since his car was still parked opposite his, then someone else had to be driving. It had to be _Harry._

Steve dove around the back of the house to avoid having to face them. He listened as the car came to a stop outside the house. Steve's heart thumped against his chest. He didn't want to see them together - the memory of the last time was still burned in his mind - but curiosity got the better of him. Danny would be dressed up. He would look stunning. Steve couldn’t resist. He crept cautiously forward to peer around the corner to watch them.

His stomach dropped to see Danny at all. The way his white shirt slightly shimmered in the light didn’t help. Neither did the way his hair was messier than Steve had been it in years. But his heart only hit his knees when Harry came round the side of the car to link his arm around Danny's middle to pull him into a kiss. The way Danny pulled back gave Steve hope, but it was instantly crushed when Danny smiled and pulled Harry in again to kiss him back.

"That was a lot of fun," Danny smiled. He pressed another kiss into the corner of Harry's mouth like he couldn't go ten seconds without tasting the man. "Thank you."

Harry's free hand wrapped around Danny, low enough to squeeze his arse, "It was a pleasure believe me."

"I noticed," Danny smirked.

"Not just _t_ _hat,_ it was a pleasure to see you relax. You worry too much Danny dear. See how much better it feels to just let go?" Harry said.

Danny pulled back again, slightly less reluctantly this time. He stepped back, allowing Harry's hand to fall away from him as he went.

"I'm holding too much together to just let go Harry," he warned.

"I know," Harry said, "You’re holding onto more than you need to."

"How so?" Danny frowned.

Harry's face told him that he wasn’t going to like this. "I just think you could try taking a step back and letting the kids take control for a while. Give them a little more space."

Danny stepped back as Harry reached for him again and shook his head, "No, I told you, I’m not missing any of my time with Grace just for a weekend in bed with you."

It came out a little sharper than he meant it to but by the scolded look on Harry's face it needed to. Harry wasn't used to relationships. He tended to have dalliances with partners that lasted no more than a few memorable nights at most, or he was using them to uncover some form of information and that was the only way to find it. And marks very rarely came with children. Harry wasn't used to not being his partners priority.

He straightened his back and admitted, "I understand. I guess I just want as much time with you to myself as I can get before..."

The way he trailed off made Danny's heart race. "Before?"

Harry clenched his jaw slightly. Danny could tell he was holding something back. What that could be sent his mind racing.

"Before I go back to England."

Danny blinked. A rush of relief crashed through him so quickly it almost made him laugh. Sophie had texted to tell Harry that the hunting trip was cancelled and they may need to reschedule and now Harry's mind was back in England. Specifically in Carnaby Street. That just happened to be where Lady Sophie was too.

"I told you Harry, I'm just a phone call away if you need me. But you won't need me because Lady Sophie already loves you. She will still love you, even if she doesn't want to, believe me," he promised. 

"Because you still love Rachel?" Harry said.

Danny had used her as an example last time they went through this. It was worth reiterating, but Danny's face changed. He was keeping his own secrets about that.

"I hate her. Don't tell the kids but I do," he confessed. Then he sighed. "And yet when she smiles at me I remember all the reasons I fell in love in the first place. Affection changes, but it doesn't die."

Harry's eyes twinkled so mischievously that Danny completely missed the sadness in them. "Does that mean you'll still have affection for me when I'm gone?"

Danny smiled softly. He ran a thumb across Harry's cheek. Harry caught him by the wrist and tilted his head to kiss his palm. Danny felt his cheeks flush slightly. When Harry finally let go he tucked his hands into his pockets. 

"You know where I am if you need me before you go."

"Yes. And you’re here before curfew," Harry said.

Danny looked up at the house as if he expected to see Grace waiting at the window for him. Steve ducked for cover. He definitely didn’t want Danny to know he was watching. He was too good a detective, he would see the agonizing envy eating Steve in seconds.

Harry's arm moved up so his fingers brushed against Danny's neck. Danny looked back at him. His gaze was already soft and there was such depth in his eyes now that it spooked Harry. His hand snatched back like he had burned it. Danny's head tilted curiously as Harry bit his lip. Not for the first time, Danny wondered if Harry might be hiding secrets of his own from him. One's that concerned him.

Before he could ask Harry kissed his cheek. "Goodnight Danny."

Danny blinked in surprise as Harry's touch fell away. Usually he lingered for as long as physically possible. He hadn't left Danny this far from the door since their first date. This time Danny was hoping he could get him to come through it. Evidently not.

"Goodnight Harry..."

Harry honked his horn as he waved a hand through the window to wave goodbye. Danny waved back. Even in the limited light Steve could see the tan line across his wrist where he had lost his watch. He bit his lip hard. Steve tried so damn hard to stop his mind imaging where Danny's tan lines stopped that he didn't notice Danny turning back towards the house until-

"Steve?"

Steve's stomach dropped from his knees to the floor. He couldn’t imagine having so much further left to fall.

"Danny... I was just-" Steve swallowed as Danny tilted his head at him. "Leaving! I was just, I was just leaving..."

"Grace kick you out?" Danny smirked.

"Uh..."

Danny had wandered closer with his hands in his pockets to draw Steve out of his hiding space closer to him. It worked. For as long as they had known each other they had been like magnets. No matter how far apart they should have been they always somehow ended up side by side. Now that they were closer in the light Steve could see things he wished he couldn't.

His hair wasn’t just messy because he hadn't brushed it. It had dried messy. There was dried salt still dusting it. But Steve had been surfing with Danny often enough to know that he kept a comb with him at all times to avoid that, which meant that the mess came from after he left the ocean. He couldn't bare to look at it. Instead Steve's eyes flicked down towards his collar. It was dark out, and he was wearing a tie, but Steve could recognise a hickey when he saw one. It marked Danny as someone else's. As _Harry's_ of all people. Steve stomach wrenched to see it.

"What'd you do?" Danny asked.

Steve’s eyes flicked back up to his, lost, "Huh?"

Danny almost looked amused by his heartache. He chuckled at how lost in his thoughts Steve was getting. "To get kicked out what uh, what did you do? I assume you had it coming? Why?"

"She said Har- who-whoever you're dating doesn’t know I'm back and that it would be safer if I left before you came home just in case..." Steve said.

Danny's eyes flicked up onto the window in surprise. Grace did a lot of things for him that he appreciated but they tended to be small things. Things like making coffee or taking Charlie to school or walking Eddie. He never imagined that she would plan Steve's exit to avoid him seeing Harry and avoid Danny having to face an awkward conversation. If she could orchestrate a scheme as simple and apparently effective as that, maybe she had been spending too much time at the shrimp truck.

"Is that all she said?" Danny asked.

"Um..." _no. She said you were happy. You look happy. Happy without me._ "No. She said... she said that she loves you. That she appreciates everything you've done for her. And that she doesn’t say it enough but she does."

Danny's entire body changed at Steve's words. He straightened his back and rocked like he was about to take a step back but changed his mind, and his eyebrows rose. Steve could tell in that one look that Danny had been doubting his parenting skills again and his chest ached. He hated seeing that.

"Gracie's a great kid Danno. And so's Charlie. You've done an amazing job with them, really," he urged.

Danny licked his lips and swallowed as he nodded, "Yeah... I'm really lucky to have them."

"Yeah..." Steve muttered.

A wave of regret washed through him. He had been that lucky once. Lucky enough to see the kids every day and get to know everything about them and get to love everything he knew. He had been that lucky once.

"Was Charlie good? Did he behave?" Danny asked.

"Perfectly," Steve lied.

"Because Grace was in control?" Danny teased.

Steve frowned, momentarily hurt by the implication. "No, Grace stayed in her room most of the night. Charlie's still got respect for me. I don't know why, I don't think I deserve it, but he does. I love that kid Danny. I love them both. I..."

Danny was taken aback by the genuine emotion in Steve's voice. He had only been teasing, like they used to. By Steve's reaction Danny knew he had missed something.

Steve calmed the ache in his lungs that made him want to either scream or sob by taking a long breath. That turned into a laugh.

"I was nervous about tonight but... Man I love those kids!"

The new laughter in it as Steve casually wiped away a tear, hoping Danny wouldn't notice (he did) made Danny's insides tingle.

"Yeah, I know you do..."

It felt like he had swallowed a berocca tablet whole and now it was fizzing away in his stomach. He hadn’t felt anything quite like it since Charlie scored a home run at peewee baseball and Steve invaded the pitch to celebrate with him because his pride for the kid outweighed his fear of coach Kamekona. Danny put it down to the pride he had for his kids like he had back again.

"Did you get him showered? And his teeth brushed?" Danny asked, hoping it would shake the feeling off.

"Yeah. I found my old toothbrush so we brushed them together," Steve said.

Danny's eyebrows rose again, "Your old - the one in the bathroom cabinet upstairs? Behind the baby toothpaste?"

Steve nodded. He didn’t notice the way Danny lit up. "Yeah, I figured you would have thrown that away-"

"Charlie used that to brush Eddie's teeth when the vet said he had too much tartar build up," Danny interrupted.

Steve stopped dead in his tracks as his mouth twisted but failed to come up with a response. Danny snorted, trying to suppress a laugh, but it broke free as Steve wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"That - that explains a lot. I think I'll brush again when I get back to Mary's," he said.

"I think you should," Danny beamed.

Steve couldn't help smiling too. Even if it was at his expense, it felt good to see Danny smile like that again. It had been eighteen months since he'd seen it and it still made his knees weak. Steve was going to say so, but his eyes caught the splash of purple on his neck, and his heart fell again.

It wasn’t his place anymore. Not that it ever had been. That smile wasn't his no matter how much he wanted it to be.

"Well I won't hang around if you need to get in-" Steve began.

Danny shoulders lurched back like he had forgotten that he was supposed to be doing something. Five minutes alone with Steve and he felt like the man had never gone away. It was a good feeling. Until he remembered that he had.

"Yeah I probably should uh, I should go in," Danny agreed.

"Right. Yeah. Get home safe- _get home safe_ , sorry, force of habit, I just mean- oh you know what I mean..."

It was odd to see Steve as the babbling mess for a change. Danny tilted his head slightly to watch him. He was usually so calm and in control. It was weird to think that just one annoyed teenager could make him so awkward.

"I just mean take care," Steve sighed, defeated.

Danny's smile had faded. It felt like goodbye again. Before he left, Steve's goodbyes never felt like goodbye. It never felt like he'd be gone long enough for it to matter. But this time...

"Yeah. Take care yourself. Anything could happen between Mary's and here, and knowing you it will," Danny said.

Steve clenched his jaw to hold his smile even though his eyes were frowning. Parting had never felt this final before he left, he was sure of it. He hadn’t even said the word but it felt like goodbye forever and all he could do was hope it wasn’t.

No. He couldn't just _hope_ it wasn’t. He wouldn’t. He needed this bridge to stay up, he needed this door to stay open, he couldn't let this be the end. Not when Charlie still wanted him. Not when Grace was forgiving him. Even if he had lost Danny, Steve wouldn't give up those kids.

"Hey Danny?" He called.

Danny paused at the bottom step, clearly surprised that Steve had stopped him. Danny hated the bubble of hope that had grown in his chest. That was too much like old times. He didn’t want to want that anymore. Not now that he had Harry.

He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Yeah?"

"If you ever need me to babysit again I'd love to. Me and Joan went to the Polynesian centre the other day, I'm sure Charlie would love to go too," Steve said.

Danny raised his chin as his mouth moved to answer before his brain had time to provide one. On the one hand Danny was relieved that Steve hadn't done anything that kept Danny on tenterhooks - Danny still wasn't sure Steve had ever understood the way he had him hooked on his line with all those little touches and that lilt in his voice and the fumbled winks while he pressed he tongue into the beer bottle to drink it like no human had ever drunk beer in history - but on another, slightly scarier hand, he was disappointed.

"It doesn't have to be babysitting. We could... we could just go together. Like we used to. Not like a date, like all of us, even Mary and Joan. Like a fam-" Steve didn't fully gasp when he heard the word leaving him, but he made a sound like he could suck it back in without it being noticed. "Like uh, like a group thing."

And there it was. _We_ could go. _Together._ _Like we used to_. Enough to give Danny hope that maybe, somehow, they could get back to how they used to be.

_Not like a date._

Danny couldn’t figure out why that sentence twisted his stomach. He didn’t understand the disdain it caused in him, or why it hurt. But it did. It always did when it came from Steve. For all the hope he offered, he never made it a reality. Danny didn't need an unreachable dream while he had Harry. Harry was difficult to keep out of bed, he didn't know Danny as well as Steve had and he wasn't entirely comfortable with kids even though he came with one. But Harry liked him. Harry _wanted_ him. And he wanted Harry. And there wasn’t any doubt or double meaning in any of it. Harry didn't look at Danny with the desperation in his eyes like Steve was giving him right now. He didn’t beg. He just understood. Or at least tried to.

With Harry it was complicated in simple ways. With Steve it was just complicated.

Danny couldn't look him in the eye as he stammered, "I um... I'll, I'll let you know. I'm pretty busy-"

Steve's jaw dropped. He had known Danny long enough and well enough to know when he was lying. He was just stunned that Danny was lying to him.

"Yeah, no, I know, don’t even worry about it, it was just a suggestion, it's not important," Steve lied.

He forced a smile as though his heart wasn’t ripped out and beating on the floor in front of him. Danny held in a sigh as he twisted back towards the house awkwardly. Steve knew he wanted to leave, but he couldn't help wanting just a few seconds more. After all he hadn’t been alone with the man in over a year. The longing... just a few seconds more.

Danny took the stairs hesitantly, like he was waiting for Steve's permission to leave. Steve did nothing but watch. Danny had never cared about his permission before. Steve had nothing over him now. He was free to go if he liked. Still he glanced back at Steve as if he didn’t feel right leaving him.

"Drive safe Steve."

That was the last thing he muttered before he shut the door. Steve sighed. He scooped up his aching heart and cradled to his chest as he wandered back to his truck. In the safety of the first red light he came to, Steve covered his eyes and groaned.

"Not like a date? Like he even thought you were asking him on a date! He never thought you wanted to date him! You're an idiot McGarrett. A total idiot."


	11. Chapter 11

If Danny was being perfectly honest, Harry was getting annoying. It wasn't that he didn’t appreciate the flowers (no one else every brought him flowers and the first few were amazing. The last ten, less so) or the chocolates, or picking him up from the palace to take him for a lunchtime date just because he could, it was just that...

"You wish he'd just fuck off for a while so you can get on with your life outside him?" Tani offered.

Danny wrinkled his nose and leaned back in his chair, "When you say it like that it sounds bad."

"Well it's not. You can't be with one person twenty four seven you need some distance to live. Look at me and Junes," she twisted from the waist where she sat on Danny's desk to gesture to Junior on the couch, "We live together we work together we carpool together, don't get me wrong, I love him, but sometimes I get sick of seeing his face-"

"Thanks babe," Junior said.

"So what do we do?" Tani asked.

"Sunday funday," Junior stated.

Tani raised a hand in the air as though that cleared up everything. Lou nudged Adam to gesture to them through the window. Curiosity drew them into the office.

"Excuse me?" Danny asked.

"We take Sunday apart. Unless there's a case," Junior explained.

"Yep. One day a week we do two completely separate activities to give ourselves some distance outside one another. It's great, it gives us things to talk about too," Tani declared.

"Like what?" Adam asked.

The others looked up like they hadn’t noticed Lou and Adam entering the room. The did nothing more to note their arrival before continuing the conversation with them now included.

"Well last week Tani went paddle boarding and I took a hike through the jungle," Junior explained, "Tani found an old digital camera and spent the week fixing the memory card and recovering some old photos to get them back to the owner."

"That’s cool, did you find them?" Adam asked.

"Yeah, I ran some photos through facial recognition and got a hit. Turns out the camera was lost by a couple who were crossing off their bucket list because she had leukaemia and their children were thrilled to have new photos of their mom," Tani said.

Adam shifted his weight from leaning on the wall to standing, impressed by this development. "Wow! That's great! You did a great job Tani, and you didn’t tell anyone?"

"Well I told Junior. We had plenty to talk about because we spent Sunday apart," Tani said, pointedly.

"And what did you do on your hike Junior?" Lou asked.

By the look of alarm in Junior's eyes at the question he did not want to share. Instantly the rest of them were eager for details.

"I'm sorry?" Junior asked innocently.

"What did you offer up to the table to talk about for the week? What did you get up to?" Lou repeated.

"I uh... I..." Junior looked to Tani for support but she was busy hiding her smirk, which in some ways was supportive. "I tripped over a log and pulled a muscle in my leg."

Junior expected the heckles that came from the others around them, but they still made him groan.

"Look at that! What a waste of youth. Y'know it won't be long until you've got bad knees and a bad back from this job, you shouldn't go wasting what little of you still works on running!" Lou teased.

"It's not all bad. Tani's been helping me heal by giving me massages," Junior said, pointedly.

He tilted his head towards Tani, who gave him a slightly sheepishly smirk, despite how smugly she held herself.

"I didn't know you were a masseuse," Danny teased.

"You sent me working undercover in a spa for two whole weeks, you pick up things," Tani said.

"I'll bet," Danny snorted.

"My point is it's not selfish to say that you want some distance. Especially since Harry's been here every day for like a month now-" Tani began.

"It's been a week," Danny argued.

Tani's eyes widened in horror, _"Really?"_

Danny groaned as he slumped back further into his seat. No one was willing to complain directly to Danny - his team were glad he was finally getting over Steve - but Harry had an opinion on almost everything and the confidence in himself to share that opinion without being asked.

"I love Harry. He’s a good guy. But I for one could do without the handsome man with the nice accent interrupting my work to tell me how much easier it is if I do things his way instead of mine!" Quinn had complained to the others once, when discussing if they needed to have an intervention. Hence why Junior and Tani were now in Danny’s office.

"He has been interrupting the work flow every time he comes in here and your office door gets locked-" Lou began.

If anyone else had said that Danny would have had an argument against them. The blinds of Junior's office were almost permanently shut when he and Tani first got together. When Kono came back last time, Adam didn’t even come into the office at all. But Lou was a professional. And when he had that righteous tone in his voice, Danny felt his cheeks turn pink.

"Alright, alright, you win! I'll talk to him about it," he promised.

Even if he hadn't wanted to talk to Harry about this in the first place, he would definitely talk to him now if only to stop _them_ talking about it. That was going to suck. Danny hated the talking parts of relationships. In his experience it only lead to arguments and sulking.

"Hey, you're the one who asked, we're just supporting your decision," Adam smirked.

"With you lot supporting me it's like Steve never left," Danny said sarcastically.

At the mention of his name Junior sat up, "speaking of, are you going to his drinks?"

Danny's face fell before he could control his reactions, "Steve's having drinks?"

A mild chill swept across the room. Lou pursed his lips, Adam backed out of the room and Tani and Junior shared a look. She cleared her throat and flipped her hair out of her face.

"Yeah, tomorrow night at La Mariana. It's karaoke night! Didn't he invite you?" She asked.

It was very possible that he had, but Danny had been screening his calls recently. It was difficult enough to keep him out of his head without having to talk to him too. After three calls went ignored, Steve had accepted the message. No sooner had the word "phone" popped into his head that it buzzed again. Another text from Harry. For a man who could go missing for months without a word, he had gotten very clingy.

"I take it you and Harry already have plans?" Lou asked.

Danny didn't. Not that he knew of anyway. But depending on how tonight went tomorrow could go either way. "Tonight is the night I tell him Steve's back on the island."

The chill in the air changed but it didn’t lift at all. That didn't help to ease the dread in his gut in any way.

"You mean you haven’t already? I thought that was why he was all jumpy and protective. No one's that clingy without a good reason," Lou warned.

"We've worked stalker cases that say otherwise," Adam countered.

"Harry's no stalker kook, he’s a British secret agent. He's got brains. Trust me, if this has come out of nowhere, its not nothing," Lou warned.

That low level of discomfort in Danny's gut grew as Lou gave him the most serious look that he had ever given him in all their time together. The thought that Harry and Steve had already crossed paths had entered Danny's mind and he did not like it. He slammed his pen onto his desk and sat up to silence the thought before it could come back.

"Alright, this discussion about my personal life is over okay. Over. I’m sure we have work to do and if we don’t, make some," he declared.

There was a mildly awkward pause before Adam raised a hand. "Kono's got a lead in her case that might bring the whole thing down. I'd appreciate help figuring out how to ask her to come home when it's over."

The mood in his office had not changed but the attention was off him so Danny was relieved by it.

"Are you sure you want her to?" Danny asked.

"I'd rather have her back than keep feeling like a yo-yo. This is why we broke up last time," Adam nodded.

"Right but this time it's only a short trip to the big island, not a full plane ride to the mainland, isn't that easier?" Danny asked.

"Is it easier for you knowing that is Steve gets into trouble you only have to go across the island to help?" Adam asked.

Danny's stomach knotted. In all honesty, yes, it was easier. Trouble followed Steve and if it didn’t he would go to track it down instead. That alone had left him unable to sleep during those long stretches between post cards while Steve was away. With him back on the island and safely staying with Mary, if trouble reared its ugly head Danny knew he could be there in a matter of minutes to help. That made it easier to sleep at night. But it didn’t change the facts.

"I'm not dating Steve," he countered. 

"I should hope not!"

Harry's voice was already dripping with charm but the additional amused smile made it so oozing that it was almost grating. Lou stepped back to allow him into Danny’s office, if only so he wouldn’t see the way he rolled his eyes.

"Harry, what are you doing here?" Danny asked.

"Since you didn’t answer my calls I decided I'd pop by ask you where you’d like to eat tonight in person," Harry said, politely.

Danny held his smile to stop himself wrinkling his nose. "Was that really necessary?"

"I suppose not, but it's a good excuse to see you anyway. Hello everyone," Harry smiled, really oozing the charm.

Tani smiled back but her eyes were full of daggers. It was the third time this week he had come to visit and found Tani in her favourite spot. She had taken to sitting on Danny's desk while talking with him, and he had taken to keeping that spot clear for her to do so. Neither were sure when it happened, but it was a comfortably intimate - if somewhat unprofessional - arrangement. 

Harry, however, liked to stand as close to Danny as possible, as if announcing his property. When he couldn't reach his desk because of her, he deliberately stood inside her comfort zone so she would move. Tani slipped off of Danny's desk and over to Junior, where she quietly took his hand and gently tugged him to his feet so he would be ready to run as soon as possible.

"We might as well give you a badge you're here so often," Lou said.

He sounded cheery and he smiled as he said it but Harry knew the warning signs of impatience and he could tell he was wearing out his welcome.

"If that's all it takes I should worry about the quality of staff these days," he chuckled.

"We get results," Tani stated.

Harry flashed her a smile."I was only joking dear. The Five-O task force has always been deeply impressive."

Danny cleared his throat, "We also have a lot of work to do-"

"Yeah, Adam, let's talk about that thing in your office," Lou said, pointedly.

Adam straighten his back, surprised to be called on, but nodded in agreement. The others hurried away from Danny's office and straight into Adam's. He was the last to follow. Harry hadn't worn into his impatience yet so he stopped to shake his hand before following the others.

"They're keen to help me get my wife back," Adam explained.

"From where?" Harry asked.

"Our divorce," Adam smiled.

"How noble. Good luck," Harry smiled back, earnestly.

"Thanks. It's good to see you again," Adam finished with another shake of his hand.

Adam shot Danny a wink as Danny pressed his curled finger to his lip. It was all Danny could do not to roll his eyes. Adam shut the door as he left. Harry cleared his throat as the tension in the room settled around him.

"Did I interrupt something?" He asked.

Danny moved his hand as he took a deep breath and considered his options.

"No. Not really," he lied, and then changed the subject before Harry could question him, "I thought we could have dinner at mine tonight. Having a guest might convince Gracie to make poke."

Harry held onto his smile but Danny could tell exactly what he was about to say. "That sounds nice, but I thought we could go somewhere quieter. There's something I'd quite like to talk to you about."

"Can't we talk now?" Danny asked.

"Later would be better. I'll pick you up at eight," Harry said.

"Or I could drive."

"You're cute when you joke. I'll see you at eight."

Harry kissed his hand with a smirk and swaggered across the room as he left again. Danny watched him go.

"Why do I even own a car?" Danny grumbled to himself.

As he passed Adam's office, which had once been Danny's, Danny saw the others tense. Only once Harry had passed with nothing more than a wave did they ease again. Danny hummed thoughtfully.

Firstly he noted how easily Steve would have been able to see into Danny's office from here back when they worked together, which explained how he always seemed to know when Danny was in desperate need of interruption. More importantly though, he wondered if Lou was right. Harry had been behaving strangely recently. Well, stranger than usual. Danny had made allowances for Harry's habits as a constant and vigilant spy, but that couldn't explain everything. The main thing that bothered Danny was the way Harry treated his kids.

For six weeks after his return, as Danny nursed Harry's shot wound, their conversations had centred mainly around their kids and the perils of parenthood, especially when you had missed parts of it. They had worked together to get Charlie on side. Now it was as if Harry was avoiding the kids.

He definitely wasn’t avoiding Danny though.

Danny wanted answers and the only way to get them was to go on yet another date this week. It felt like he hadn’t seen his kids in days. To make up for that, he left work a little earlier than usual to drop in at Mary's.

Back before Danny had become a big part of her life, Mary's home had been a quiet place. It was only ever her and Joan and whatever babysitter she could get to come while she went to work. Now though the place had become rowdy and there was a ruckus going on inside that was loud enough to be heard from the doorstep. She loved it. Danny knocked loudly, but he wasn’t sure he could be heard.

There was a long pause before the door opened.

Mary opened it in a polka dot apron and her hair swept out of her face with an alice band and wafted the faint scent of a baking apple pie across the doorstep as she did. Danny was suddenly thrown back to the 1940's for a moment which he definitely wasn’t expecting. By the look of surprise on her face, Mary hadn’t been expecting him either.

"Danny? I thought Grace was coming for pick up," she said.

Grace appeared behind her with a frown, "I am. At least I thought I was."

Danny nodded in agreement before admitting, "Actually I just came to ask a favour."

There was another long pause as Mary and Grace shared an odd look and Mary's eyes swept him up and down. Danny bit his bottom lip hard when she did. He had seen that suspicious look a million times before, but not on her face. Sometimes she looked just like Steve... Finally, she let go of the door.

"Come on in then."

Danny pulled his shoes off and left them in line with the others in the hallway before shutting the door behind him.

"Everything ok Danno?" Grace asked quietly.

"Everything's fine, I just wanted to ask Aunt Mary something is all," Danny promised.

Grace didn't seem convinced but she also didn't question it. If she did he might ask why she had come to pick Charlie up so early and she would either have to lie or admit that part of her was as desperate to spend time with Steve as Charlie was. Neither of which she was keen to do. Instead she kept her mouth shut and so did Danny.

As they followed Mary in Grace sniffed the air and her stomach rumbled. Mary paused as she heard.

"You hungry Gracie? You know where the kitchen is," she said.

"Mahalo auntie Mary," Grace grinned.

She made a beeline for the cookie jar. Mary had taken on a job at Lou's brother's bakery to help pay the rent when she first came home to stay. It had taken her six months of making at least one batch of cookies a day and one of Aunt Debs old recipes to go from completely burning them, to making them inedible, to adequate, to brilliant. Now she made two batches once a month, one for the family and one for Grace. She sent them in a care package to her college dorm. Grace adored them. It made her feel less forgotten. 

"You’re excellent to my kids," Danny said with a soft smile.

Mary scoffed like it was nothing and said, "C'mon, I'm never gonna let anyone go hungry."

If Danny had a response he forgot it when he saw what was making the children yell. Unsurprisingly, it was Steve. Joan was balanced on his shoulders, clinging onto his head and squealing with laughter while Charlie was clamped to his leg, using his foot as a seat. Charlie was giggling as he held on tight and Steve dragged him across the floor.

"Is that all you two got?! I could do this all day!" Steve laughed.

Despite his claims there was a slight wheeze to his words. Nothing loud or particularly noticeable, but Danny caught it. Steve was an incredibly active man. Getting him out of breath was harder than Danny expected. At least it used to be. Now they were getting older and Steve was wearing out. In some strange way Danny found that endearing. Maybe Steve was human after all.

"They seem to be having fun," Danny said.

"Can you take this outside please guys? Uncle Danny and I want to chat," Mary called.

"Danno!" Charlie cried.

Danny smiled as Charlie leapt to his feet and ran over to hug his dad. At least he did until the boys hand swooped into his pocket and stole his phone.

"See uncle Steve! We don’t need you anymore! We've got Danno!" Charlie sneered.

By the way that Charlie was waving Danny's phone and the fact that Steve snorted, Danny assumed this was part of some game. Still, hearing his son say that he didn’t need Steve because he had him satisfied something so deep in Danny that he hadn't known he needed it. Some kind of primal need for validation. It was like chicken soup for the soul.

"Let's do as Mama says and get into the garden huh guys?" Steve grinned.

Giggling, Charlie ran through the screen doors before Steve could even set Joan on the ground. She took off after him like a fire cracker though. Danny's first instinct was to follow them to make sure they were watched, but Steve beat him to it.

Steve couldn't get enough of spending time with the kids.

Mary loud out a heavy breath and laughed at how exhausted she was. "Oh those kids can run circles around me. I’m telling you, I have no idea how I managed to cope without my brother, he’s been a God send!"

Danny plastered on his fake smile to nod in agreement. In his mind it definitely wasn't God that had sent Steve home. Not unless God hated him personally. Sometimes he was willing to believe it.

"Coffee?" Mary's voice cut through his thoughts.

"Uh, yeah, please," he said.

Danny basically run on coffee these days. Harry kept him up half the night and Grace had taken to checking in on him before taking Charlie to school which woke him up early too. Between that and work coffee was all he had.

"Any chance I could convince you to watch the kids for me tonight?" Danny asked as he took a sip of his coffee.

Nine times out of ten Mary would shrug and agree. She didn’t have much time for herself since adopting Joan and one more kid didn't affect much. Today though she looked at him with such surprise that he instantly racked his brain to try and remember what he'd clearly forgotten.

"Tonight you're supposed to be watching Joan, I've got work," she said.

Danny's eyes widened, "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot, Harry and I have a date!"

Mary opened her mouth to respond and reassure him that she'd already asked Steve to babysit but that he needed to remember his promises better. She didn’t have time to though. The guilt had gripped Danny too quickly and he wanted to find a new plan for both of them.

"Grace?" he called.

Grace appeared in the doorway between the kitchen and the sitting room and leaned one arm against it while eating a cookie with the other. Mary bit back a smirk. She looked just like Steve.

"Yo?"

Mary bit her lip harder. She sounded just like Steve. Danny didn’t notice.

"Can you watch the kids for me? I’ve got a lot to talk to Harry about tonight," he asked.

"About him always being around just to drag you away from us?" Grace asked. 

"Something like that," Danny muttered.

"And you think letting him drag you away so you can tell him that is the best way to handle it?"

"Please?"

There was a level of begging in it. He was desperate. Grace was about to agree - she didn’t have anything better to do - when Steve went moving through her peripheral vision. Her heart knotted. For a moment she chewed her cheek to think.

Two plans entered her mind. One she had been working towards for the last two months. One she had been working towards for ten years, but had taken a backseat eighteen months ago. Two paths laid before her. One was inherently more selfish than the other but would end exactly how she wanted it. The other required a lot more effort and would cause a lot more upset before it reached an end and she had little control over the outcome.

But she really wanted that too.

Barely a second had passed but it felt like a lifetime to Grace as she tried to make a decision. Her heart thumped harder when as did.

"Tonight? Uh, no. No, I'm sorry, I can't I took another shift with Kamekona," she lied.

Danny's shoulders sagged in disappointment which ached in Grace's chest. Mary gave her a sympathetic look. She knew how much Grace hated disappointing Danny, and she had a vague idea of why Grace wanted the money from her extra shifts. Danny was clueless.

"I guess we'll have to ask Adam," Danny said.

Mary frowned, "It's really last minute, are you sure you can't push back your date?"

"Can't you get Steve to do it?" Grace interrupted. There was a short, frosty pause, which Grace ignored, "Where is Steve anyway?"

"He's watching Joan and Charlie in the garden," Mary said.

"Then this is the perfect time to ask. He’s already looking after them!" She declared.

Danny eyed her cautiously. This was a very different tune than she had been singing recently. Something had happened when Steve babysat. Something neither of them had told Danny about. Well Steve couldn't. They hadn't been alone since and even if they had he was sure Steve wouldn't waste that time talking about the kids. He'd do all he could to pry into the secret partner Danny had now.

It wasn’t that Danny was trying to keep Harry a secret from Steve, but he was trying to keep Steve secret from Harry and the longer it went on the harder it was to bring up. So far it had been two weeks and it had felt like two months.

Grace liked to take advantage of how often Danny's mind went spinning off without him recently. She opened the back door and beckoned everyone back inside. Steve wasn’t sure what for, but he was taking orders from her until they were back on solid footing so he ushered the kids back indoors again.

"Danno can Uncle Steve at stay with us tonight? Please Danno?!" Charlie begged as soon as he was through the door.

Danny swallowed hard. He glanced at Mary. Mary met his eye with a quizzical look. She didn't mind her brother babysitting. He had been useful for it recently. But this decision was Danny's to make. Everyone was watching with interest.

"If he's okay with that," Danny assured him.

Steve's eyes lit up, "Really?"

Danny swore inwardly as his eyes flicked up into Steve. He hadn’t noticed he was following the kids. He definitely would have asked him first if he had.

"I... I do need a babysitter if Grace has work," he admitted.

"Really?! I would like that," Steve grinned.

"If that's okay I mean. No one else is available and I'd have to cancel on my date," Danny said.

Steve clenched his jaw to stop himself from saying _I would really like that,_ but he thought it so loudly that Mary elbowed him anyway.

Danny wasn't keen. One look at him and Steve could tell. It hurt a little. He had trusted him before with his kids. Steve couldn't really understand what changed. It wasn’t like he would ever leave them if he wasn’t absolutely certain someone would be there to keep them safe. If it came to it, Steve would die for these kids. He hoped that Danny would be able to read that through his mind like he had once been able to.

Danny licked his lips. Steve was keen. Then again Steve would be keen if you offered him a chance to feed a criminal to a shark without consequence. He probably had a criminal mentally picked out if it ever came up. That was the kind if guy he was. Prepared for anything. Even if it meant sacrificing himself for the safety of the people he loved...

Danny hated this. He hated that it was his only option and he hated knowing that Steve would dedicate himself to the role with all his heart. He hated everything that endeared him to Steve all over again. He hated it so much that he looked towards Mary just so he wouldn't have to face that dazzling smile painted on Steve’s.

"Are you okay with him taking Joan to my place?" Danny asked.

"It doesn’t affect me. If Steve's got to come back here anyway he can bring Joan with him. It's all on him," Mary shrugged.

"Then I guess... that's fine," Danny said.

Charlie beamed, but Steve's was still brighter. As exhausted as he has been last time, he had loved every second. Steve's gaze flicked onto Grace and his smile grew which Mary didn't think possible. What no one else saw, that Steve definitely did, was the pleased grin that Grace couldn't quite hold back.

This was it. Tonight was going to make or break the rest of their relationship. And Steve was ready.

...

If Danny ever said he was annoyed at the way Harry kissed him that would be a lie. Every time he saw Harry, which happened to be every day, Harry would kiss him hello or goodbye or just for the sake of it. Every time it sent a tingle through Danny's spine.

"Why did we have to meet in the car? It's a lot easier to feel your perfect little arse if you’re not sitting on it," Harry smirked.

Danny's smile was only half forced as he lied, "because I don’t want the babysitter thinking I'm dating a sex crazed fool."

"I'm no fool," Harry smirked.

"You definitely are," Danny smirked back.

"And I’m not sex crazed. I just find it hard to keep my hands off you when I've wanted to touch you for years."

With one hand Harry reach up to curl his fingers through Danny's hair while the other slipped down his chest towards his belt. Danny got distracted by the way Harry kissed him like he was trying to put him under a spell, and it nearly worked. Once he felt Harry's fingers curl under his shirt he shook back into the room.

"Hey, hey, hey!" He pulled back to slap his hands away, "I know that touch, you're not getting into my pants without an expensive meal first!"

Harry snorted as he sank back to his own seat. "For someone who took us to a family restaurant for our first date you've got an expensive taste."

"That was when I was paying. Before I realised I was dating a playboy millionaire who actually did have the millions to his name," Danny countered.

Harry chuckled as he pulled out of the driveway and out onto the streets.

"I told you I wouldn’t be out of pocket for very long," he said.

"And you know where that pocket is which is more than I can say for previous dates," Danny mused.

"Actually tonight shouldn't cost a penny," Harry said.

Danny's smile fell slightly. The last time he had gone on a date - well it wasn't really called a date, but it felt like a date, but at the time he was dating Catherine - the last time he had gone out with someone who claimed it wouldn’t cost them a penny, he had gone fishing with Steve. It ended with Steve almost being eaten by a tiger shark and Danny trapped in a sinking dinghy before they both got arrested. He had a reason to be wary.

"Sorry?"

"An old friend of mine is visiting the island. He’s a whizz in the kitchen. A guest chef for one night at the Hilton, which is where I happened to bump into him. He's offered to cook us both a meal for free, so long as he can meet us for a night cap afterwards. Unfortunately that means we have a rather limited time between a full meal and complimenting the chef in which to burn off the calories," Harry winked.

Danny's smile still hadn’t returned as he considered this plan. "If we have to meet him after his shift doesn’t that mean we'll be finishing late?"

Harry's own smile waned slightly as he admitted, "I was rather hoping we wouldn't be finishing until tomorrow, if then."

There was a short pause as Danny thought to himself. The engine revved a little louder as Harry anxiously waited for the lights to change colour.

"I should call the babysitter and let them know," Danny decided finally.

Harry's eyebrows rose. "That's your only objection?"

Danny turned his head to grin at Harry. "To a free meal, getting laid and you paying for drinks after? I have no objections to that."

All of his training to read people flickered into action as Harry's eyes swept across Danny's figure. For one fleeting moment he recalled the same figure dappled in moonlight which made his pulse race and the engine rev again. But as far as he could tell, Danny meant it. Harry breathed a sigh of relief.

"Glad to hear it," he admitted.

"Besides, we have a lot to discuss tonight. I'd like it if we could take our time," Danny added.

Instantly the tension returned to Harry's shoulders, "Sounds serious. I’m not in trouble I hope? Or, if I am, I hope there's a special kind of punishment-"

"Shh, I'm on the phone."

Harry frowned. Usually when he was shushed it was when he was lying naked beside someone who was supposed to be fully dressed somewhere else and was pretending that they were on their way. Right now he was wearing a devastatingly three piece suit which was practically as far from naked as you could get in Hawaii and Danny was supposed to be here. Right by his side.

"Heya monkey, listen can you put St- uh the babysitter-" Danny's heart raced faster than the car could go at the idea of telling Steve he wasn’t planning on coming home tonight. "Actually can you tell the sitter that they can leave when you get back from work? Yeah, I'm uh, I'm gonna be later than I thought... no of course nothing's wrong. I'm going to meet one of Harry's friends but they don’t finish work until late. I'll bring you home dessert if you leave room for it... course I will. Danno loves-"

There was a sudden loud thump and an ear piercing scrape of metal on metal as the car was slammed from behind. The call went dead.


	12. Chapter 12

He wasn't panicking. Nope. He was stuck in a house with three children while the man he loved was lying, possibly on the side of the road, possibly in a car wreck, possibly dead already somewhere - this had happened before and the possibility of survival decreases every time so this time he might not be so lucky - but he wasn't panicking.

"What _exactly_ did you hear?" Steve urged.

"I don't- I don't know, _I don't know_!" Grace yelped frantically.

She was panicking. Grace struggled to catch her breath, just like Steve had seen Danny do before a panic attack so he changed tactics. He rested his hand on her knees to stop her bouncing them and drew her attention to him as he did. Steve gently tilted her head so she would focus on him, before laying his hand on hers.

"Hey, hey, you're doing great, you're doing so, so great okay? We're just gonna take a deep breath in... and out... perfect, just like that. In and out," He assured her.

Steve rested a hand on his chest to feel his own deep breathing to try and reassure himself with her. Grace's anxious breath eased slightly but she was still clearly shaken.

"It was like a-a scraping sound. Like someone was dragging something across the side of the car," she said.

"Like keys or something bigger?" Steve asked tentatively.

"Like a _car_ Steve!" She said drily.

Steve's eyebrows rose in surprise. Sometimes she really did sound like Danny.

"I'm sure it's nothing. I'm sure Danno just dropped his phone. Goofy thumbs y'know..." Steve assured her.

_Goofy thumbs. Broken phone. That's it. Thats why he hasn't called back._

Charlie nudged Steve fearfully. Steve's heart ached to see his eyes welling with tears.

"Gracie had surgery when she got hurt. Mommy said that's why she got to stay with Danno for a week. Because she was sick. Who's gonna take care of Danno if he's sick?" Charlie asked.

"He won't be Charlie," Steve insisted.

Charlie hummed nervously and went back to trying to see out of the window in case they came back. Steve noticed the way that Grace's knee started bouncing again. He knelt back down to her level.

"He won't be Grace. Harry was driving. He wouldn't put Danny in danger because you don't put people you love in danger," he said gently.

"They haven't been dating that long though... and who's to say he even loves Danno enough to keep him out of danger?" Grace asked nervously.

"I am. Believe me, I'm an expert," Steve said firmly.

As much as it broke his already aching heart Steve knew how easy it was to fall in love with Danny. And he knew how smart Harry was. He didn't go into things half cocked. He knew Danny was golden and he wasn't going to let that go easily.

"On love or car crashes?" Grace asked.

If he was an expert on love maybe they wouldn't be here right now.

"On all sorts of crashes actually, so I can tell you right now that if you heard a scraping then it's probably just a car getting too close to the one in front!" He said stubbornly.

_Definitely just a car getting too close. Definitely **not** a tail going in for a kidnapping. Definitely not a car crash. Nothing like what happened to Grace. Nothing like what happened to Danny last time. Or the time before that..._

"Uncle Danno's gonna be alright though right uncle steve?" Joan asked.

"Yeah. Yeah of course he will! Danno is a very strong, very brave man. He's survived worse. He'll be fine..."

Of all the times that Steve had rushed Danny to hospital there were only two he could thing of that still made him sick to his stomach. The first time was that nerve agent that had them both terrified beyond belief, and the second was Daiyu Mei. It was only that first time though that Steve had to pick Grace up from school afterwards. That phrase, " _Danno's really brave and you need to be brave too_ " rang through her mind too when he said it.

Grace's eyes flicked up onto Steve. Things were looking bad. She was terrified. All she had was her Danno. Well, usually. This time she had the man who always brought Danno home safely too.

"Uncle Steve?"

Steve's heart skipped a beat as he looked down at her. He knew in that instant that she was terrified and it sparked something protective inside of him. Something that made him want to force the fear to go away, whatever it took.

"Yes Grace?" He asked.

"Go get him."

It was a simple order. One that at any other time he wouldn't have hesitated to obey. But this time something held him back.

"Grace he's with Harry-"

"Danno is all we have left and you always make sure he comes home, you _promised_ you'd bring him home! Please go get him!"

Steve's bones were itching to be gone. Everything in him was trying to push him out the door. But he didn't want to leave them alone.

"Are you sure? What about you and Joan and Charlie, don't you need me here?"

"Please Uncle Steve," Grace grabbed his arm with the same fear that had once before and suddenly, to him at least, she was eight years old all over again. "Go save my Danno."

It was the final push he needed for his mind to switch into full Commander mode for the first time in eighteen months. He leapt into action. 

"I'm gonna call Junior on my way okay? Look after Joan and your brother. Lock the doors behind me and don't let anyone in except Junior. If anyone calls don't answer, if they come to the door tell them that you aren't alone and set Eddie on them if they don't leave!" He paused for the briefest of seconds before adding, "And make sure you eat something healthy okay? I love you and I'll be back soon!"

He kissed her head as he promised to come back. He was barely one step out of the door before Grace slammed it behind him and locked it tight. She was trained for this, but having her uncle there to take control was a huge relief.

"Tani, no time to explain, I need you to ping Danny's cell and send the location to my phone and send Junior to Danny's place _now_ _!"_ He ordered.

For all of the time that had passed and all of the action Tani had faced down alone, the moment Steve took control she was back to being a rookie cop taking orders to impress her boss all over again and Junior slipped straight back into cadet mode like he'd never left it. Within minutes his phone beeped.

Steve took the Camaro. He didn't ask. He didn't care. His truck was not going to be fast enough and he had no time to waste. If Danny was in danger, nothing else mattered.

...

Danny ran a hand across the back of the woman as she sat with her head between her legs. He had been in enough accidents to know first aid for them by now. This was a clear case of shock. She was having a panic attack.

"There we are now dear, a cup of tea solves everything that a glass of wine can't," Harry said.

He set a paper mug of tea onto the woman's knee and she latched onto it with both hands. The warmth alone made her gasp. With a grunt Harry sat down beside her on the kerb.

"You've had rather a nasty shock so I've decided to forgo the forms and just pay the rental company for damages. This can be our little secret," Harry assured her.

He nudged her knee playfully with his own. She raised her head and gave him a weak smile.

"There it is! You can still smile, that's good, that's a good sign," Danny smiled back.

"You two have been so nice about this, I- I don't know how to thank you," she stammered.

"You don't have to thank us, just... I dunno, get some extra driving lessons? Make sure it doesn't happen again," Danny said.

She nodded, "I will. I really will, thank you both."

"You gonna be okay?" Danny asked.

"Yeah, my uh, my friend is coming to pick me up, she'll be here any minute," she promised.

There was a convenient honking not long afterwards and the woman's friend hopped out of a taxi to climb into the crashed car and drive her home. Danny and Harry waved as they left. Once they were gone Harry laid a hand on Danny's back.

"Are you good dear?" He asked.

Danny took a deep breath as he examined the broken bumper on the back of the car. This was nothing. He had survived worse. But people he cared about hadn't. He hadn't bothered to tell Harry about the nameless woman in the car with him before and since they were both unharmed it didn't seem to matter right now either. Danny did link his arm back around Harry's middle though. That was fairly comforting. 

"Where did you find tea around here?" Danny asked.

"I find that for a certian amount of money there isn't much that you can't convince someone to make you," Harry chuckled.

Danny rolled his eyes. "You save a little bit of money from our date and suddenly you're splashing the cash on strangers? I feel cheap. I feel used."

"Maybe I just like rescuing damsels in distress," Harry winked.

He moved into kiss Danny's jawline but Danny pulled back, chuckling.

"See now you're in trouble because you'd better not be calling me a damsel but you'd better not be talking about anyone else," he warned.

"You're my favourite damsel," Harry teased.

"You're full of shit," Danny snorted.

"Would I ever lie to you?" Harry said.

"No, you just twist the truth to fit what you want me to think," Danny muttered.

Harry licked his lips in surprise. Danny winced. The tension between them grew slightly as Harry frowned. Before he could ask questions a car came skidding round the corner so fast that they could smell the burnt rubber from down here. They didn't even have time to recognise it as Danny's until it mounted the kerb beside them.

Steve leapt out of the car so urgently that the engine wasn't even fully switched off before his foot hit the ground. Relief on his face was palpable at a distance.

"Danny!"

Steve's voice was a tangle of relief, delight, and terror. To hear it made Danny's insides hit the floor as his lungs stopped working. In his alarm he ran out of air and his mind screamed.

Danny had forgotten how to function as he desperately tried to concoct a lie that would push away all the others he had withheld from Harry and get him out of trouble. Frozen in place, he didn't react when Steve darted across the gap to throw his arms around him.

Steve wrapped his arms around Danny so their full bodies were pressed together and his hand was twisted in Danny's hair as he crandled the man's head. Steve was so close that Danny could feel the heat as he panted. Steve was breathless. Danny could practically hear the way his heart was racing. 

It was barely more than a second but it was enough for Harry to see the relief flood through Steve. He had been terrified and now it was obvious. Harry also noted how Steve's hand didn't leave Danny even as he stepped back. It just moved around him.

Danny could feel Harry’s eyes on him like laser beams seeking answers without the need for words. He was mentally searching for excuses that would never come. Everything was all going too fast. For any explanation that did to fit the situation, one second later they didn't. 

Almost as soon as he had yanked him into a full body hug he pushed him back to urgently examine him for injuries. Steve was talking for a while as he groped at Danny, with frantic caution. Danny heard none of it over the thunder of his pulse in his ears.

Harry was watching.

Harry was seeing the truth.

Harry knew Steve was on the island.

Harry knew Steve knew Danny was here.

Danny had no idea how the hell they had gotten here.

Steve's hands patted along Danny's chest and stomach, searching for blood. He tugged Danny's shirt up to check his back for injuries. Danny didn't fight, and Steve found nothing but old scars and once familiar muscles. He muttered all the while, more and more relieved as he found no injuries. After last time, when Danny had walked himself home and collapsed on the living room floor, Steve was taking no chances. Danny had no idea what to say or do as he was being publicly pawed at.

It wasn’t until Steve was holding him firmly with one hand clamped on his arms and his fingers tenderly cupping his cheek as he searched Danny’s face for cuts the he felt a buzz tingle through him in a way that made his eyes widen. Steve gently guided Danny’s chin down so he could examine his eyes. That's when it struck him.

The fear in Steve’s eyes were real.

It had been a long time since he saw that fear. He couldn't remember being rescued but he knew the terror in Steve's grip as he latched hold of his hand. Danny still had finger print shaped bruises two weeks later. _This_ fear though - the absolute terror that made Steve's eyes look three shades bluer - Danny hadn't seen since the sarin incident. 

As much as that look shot ice cold chills through Danny, he couldn't ignore the look he could feel bearing down on him from Harry. It burned away the ice, making Danny's lungs blaze with them.

This certainly made a lot of things make a lot more sense. 

There was a roaring battle of fear and anger that slammed him back into his body. Danny shoved Steve back roughly, instantly removing him from reach. Steve didn't seem to register it, even though he stumbled.

"You can hear me then? I was worried your hearing had gone," Steve sighed with relief and a cocky smile that made Danny's insides burn.

"What are you doing here?" Danny hissed.

"Are you okay? What's going on, who did this?" Steve asked frantic.

"It was a - get off!" Danny snatched his arm away from Steve making him stumble again at the movement. "It was a fender bender Steve! I'm fine! How did you even know we were in an accident?!"

"I..." Steve's eye finally moved past him to spot Harry leaning against the car, watching curiously. He didn't even have the decency to look jealous. Steve felt a spike of hatred for the man that he had never felt before. He snatched his eyes away back to Danny, "I heard it on Grace's phone..."

"You've been bothering Grace again?! She's supposed to be at work Steve! Do I have to get a harrassment charge slapped on you before you get the picture?!" Danny snarled.

Steve snapped upright, visibly hurt by the accusation. "A harassment charge - Danny, I- It was a - I thought... I thought Daiyu mae-"

Danny's eyes widened in alarm as he took a step back this time. The snarl grew under the daze in his words, "You thought a notorious gang leader's evil wife was after me again and you left my kids alone and undefended?!"

Steve's stomach knotted. He couldn't wrap his mind around why Danny was angry at him. After all the other disasters they had been through Danny had hugged him so tightly that any cracked ribs began screaming. He was never this furious. Not even when Steve got himself hurt in super SEAL mode. Danny just scoffed at him, called him stupid, and moved on. He was never angry...

"No, of course not-" he began.

"Are you an actual idiot?!" Danny snapped, "What's _wrong with you_ _Steve?!_ Those kids are all I have and you left them in danger?!"

Seeing the fury in Danny and the way Steve automatically mirrored his body language, Harry stepped forward to interrupt. He ran a hand across Danny's shoulder blades to quietly soothe him. Harry had an infectious kind of calm no matter what situation he found himself in. The only time they ever saw him riled was when Sophia was missing. Even now, with Steve in front of him wholly univited, Harry seemed unphased. While it worked to ease Danny's shoulders, it only made Steve clench his jaw tighter.

"Steve. Are you doing medical checks on everyone involved in this crash or only my boyfriend here?" Harry chuckled brightly.

 _Boyfriend._ Steve's gut wrenched as his eyes glared towards Harry, but the rest of his body pointed squarely at Danny.

Steve glared at Harry. His eyes full of disdane and his tone full of malice as he politely snarled, "Harry."

Harry had the audacity to smile. Not only did he expect Steve's animosity, he was amused by it.

"Always a pleasure. I thought you were off the island though. Travelling so I heard. How was that?" Harry added politely.

Harry ran his tongue along his lips and smirked at Steve's hostility. It was as if Steve couldn't see the fury in Danny's eyes simply because he was here. Uninvited. Unwanted. Unwelcome.

Steve took a pointed step closer to Danny’s side, daring Harry to stop him. Harry understood instantly. He didn't need to move. His hand simply slipped up to Danny's nape. He curled his fingers into Danny's hair to smooth what Steve had ruffled. He ensured that Steve could see both him doing so and Danny melting into his touch.

Steve's lip curled. Had he been a dog, he may even have bore his teeth. There was a growl caught in his throat but he reeled it back in.

He wasn't here for Harry.

Steve curled an arm around Danny's to tug him away from Harry and towards him, under the guise of searching for wounds again. Once upon a time it was the only guise that allowed them to touch as intimately as they both so secretly desired. Back then he didn’t need to tug him, he could just brush fingers against Danny’s arm and he would come closer like it was only natural. Like they were magnets being drawn together.

But Danny resisted this time. More than that, he struggled to get away. The fire that Steve's touch left on his skin was as unwelcome as he was today.

"Get _off_ Steve!" He huffed in frustration.

Steve blinked, trying not to look as hurt as he felt. "You could be in shock, maybe there's a concussion - let's get you back home where it's safe."

Steve pulled on Danny's arm a little too sharply and Harry reached out to catch his other arm and stop Danny from being thrown off balance. Harry's grip clamped down on him, but he didn’t leave finger marks. Steve's did. They turned red instantly, but would grow purple over time. Danny's hand curled into a fist around Harry's jacket to help balance himself. It only made Steve feel worse.

"Uh, I have this under control Steven," Harry said.

"Like you had that car under control?" Steve snarled.

At least Harry had the decency to look guilty, even only for the briefest of moments.

"A minor fender bender. We're complete unharmed, as are the occupants of the other vehicle," he said, calmly.

"You might not be," Steve said, sharply, "Complications can develop when the shock and adrenaline wear off-"

Harry gave a low and amused chuckle which made Steve's insides feel like molten lava. Red hot rocks ready to burst out of him. He had to clench his jaw again to stop himself saying something he couldn’t take back.

 _"What?"_ He demanded.

"I was an international spy for MI6 working with foreign diplomats and high level terrorist groups. Daniel was a founder of a task force that aided the take down of international terror operations and spy rings as well as various _other_ threats to his safety _within_ that task force. Forgive me for thinking a minor car incident isn’t quite the adrenaline rush you, a former Naval SEAL, appear to think it is."

Harry had a very British ability to cut down a yank with startlingly calm precision. It made Steve's chest tighter as he tried hard not to snarl in the way he wanted to. He wanted to rip Danny away from Harry, throw him in the car and drive him back to the house, safely back to the kids. Maybe run Harry down on the way just for good measure. 

"He needs to rest somewhere safe where he can be taken care of," Steve stated, firmly.

"Thank you for your concern but I have an excellent understanding of how the human body works-" Harry began.

With a new level of venom in his tone Steve spat, "Well I have an excellent understanding of how _Danny_ works-"

"As do I."

Harry said it so plainly that Steve caught his true meaning instantly. Three little words knocked him off his feet. It stole the air from his lungs as he let go of Danny's arm. Steve stared at him as though he had been betrayed. The movement made Danny's cheeks flush.

Danny stared down at his feet, furious at the guilt that ran through him. He hadn't done anything wrong. There was no betrayal here. He wasn't dating Steve. He didn't even think Steve could love him back until he came home. But it was too late. Steve had left. Danny was moving on.

So why did he feel so damn guilty?

Steve scowled furiously at Harry. Harry straightened his shoulders back and took his hands out of his pockets. Steve had beaten him in a fight once before but the stakes were higher now. Harry wasn't going to give up so easily this time.

"Why don't you-"

Enough was enough. Danny grabbed onto Steve's arm and dragged him away from Harry, marching him down the street. "Steve, can I have a word with you? _Over there."_

As Danny dragged Steve away by his arm, Steve kept his eyes locked deadly on Harry, who casually held his gaze, like his death stare had no affect. The death stare didn’t. Harry had seen it all before. But him being there at all had an affect. It made what Harry had to say a little bit harder.

Steve scowled furiously between Harry and Danny. The hurt and jealousy burned in him and he couldn’t hold it in.

"Really? Of all the people on this planet available for you to date you had to go for _Harry?!"_

"Steve-"

"He’s a smooth talking smarm pot who dates super models so he doesn’t have to bother with intelligent conversation - he doesn't even _have_ intelligent conversation he just sounds smart because of that stupid accent of his-"

"Steve!"

"You're way out of his league Danny, why are you wasting your time settling for some limey moron who things he’s the next James Bond?!"

" _What the hell is the matter with you?!"_

"The matter with- what?!"

"Why are you here?!"

Steve reeled back and gave that turtle face he always gave when they argued and he was convinced he hadn’t done anything wrong. "That's gratitude for you, I came all this way to check you were okay-"

"No, no- shut up and listen for a change okay?!" Danny snapped.

Steve was taken by surprise as he realised that they weren’t just bickering like they usually did anymore. This was an argument. A real one. And Danny was pissed.

"I don't know what’s going on in that big stupid Neanderthal head of yours but whatever it is, count us out. All of us, Grace, Charlie, me, Harry, count us out, _a_ _ll of us_!"

"But Danny I haven't-"

"Stop it. Just stop it, stop it now! _Please!"_

Steve blinked. Danny looked fit to burst. His chest was puffed out and he ran a hand through his own hair so Steve wouldn’t see him brush the hot tears out of his eyes. He did anyway. That took the breath out of his lungs all over again. Lack of oxygen was really making his head spin. 

"You don't get to worry about me like this anymore Steve," Danny stated. How he didn't choke on his words he didn't know because they were strangling him as he spat them out, "you don’t get to be jealous. There's nothing left of us for you to be jealous for. Just stop it. It's been so hard- its been so damn hard to get over... just leave me alone. Let me move on, _please!"_

Steve's jaw gaped softly. This was the first time that Steve had ever dared to think that whatever he thought he had felt between them was actually possibly maybe real and not his own wishful thinking. Maybe it wasn't as unrequited as he always thought. Or it hadn't been once. Before he left. Which meant that if he hadn't...

But he had.

And the pain in Danny's eyes was heartache. That wouldn't heal while Steve was still around. Steve could bare to see him hurt. Especially if he was the cause of it. As hard as it was to face, Steve knew he owed it to him.

His heart laid broken on the floor all over again and this time... this time Steve wasn’t sure he could gather it back up. As utterly shattered as it left him, he couldn't go back without an answer.

"Are you sure you’re okay Danny?"

Danny's face twisted into a baffled and irritated scowl at the idiocy of the question. Steve had seen it a million times before, but it had never stung like this before.

"Yes! I’m perfectly fine! Now go away! Get out of here, you're ruining my date!" Danny shouted.

Steve gulped and bowed his head apologetically, "I... I'm sorry... I didn't..."

Danny huffed. He slammed into Steve's shoulder as he stormed back to Harry. If Steve thought his heart couldn't be damaged any further he was wrong. The moment that Danny willingly walked away from him and into Harry's arms trampled it.

Danny stared past Harry and as far down the road as he possibly could, keeping his back to Steve. He couldn't bare to look at him. He could feel Steve's eyes on him, even as Harry hooked an arm around Danny's shoulders and shot a cocky grin his way.

"Uh, do you want a lift anywhere Steve mate? You appear to be in shock," he offered.

Danny elbowed him to the ribs. Harry grunted but he kept it under control so that Steve wouldn't catch on.

"No. No I don't. I'll... I'll be going," Steve muttered.

"Mind how you go," Harry smiled politely.

Steve dragged his feet, lingering for as long as he could. Despite the utter devastation filling his chest, Steve was still a magnet. He was still drawn to Danny. He watched as Danny and Harry climbed into his car again, and drove off in the other direction. Harry took Danny away from him again. Steve tucked the shards of his heart into the passager seat and refused to look that way for the entire ride home.

The funny thing was, he hadn't realised how much this car smelt of Danny until that very moment. 

Absolutely nothing in him wanted to go back to his old house. There was no desire. But he had made a promise and he intended to keep it. Besides, Joan was waiting for him.

At the sound of the car engine Grace leapt to her feet. She was stopped by Junior. He had no idea what he was supposed to be defending the kids from, but he was going to do it. The curtian barely flapped as he peered out. His shoulders eased and Grace craned her neck to try and see past him.

"It's safe, you can go," he said.

Grace went darting out of the front door to see who had made it home first. She could barely stand still. She fidgeted on the lalani right up until Steve hauled himself out of the car. The door wasn’t even shut before both she and Eddie were bounding over to him at full speed.

"Uncle Steve! Uncle Steve did you find him, is he okay?! Tell me he's okay!" Grace cried.

Instinct took Steve over as he pulled Grace into a hug so tightly that he could feel her chin suck against his shoulder. It was more for his own comfort than hers. She gasped fearfully as he did, but when he ran a hand across the back of her head and loosened his grip, she had no choice but to listen.

"He's okay Grace. Danno..." Steve's breath trembled. That felt far too familiar for someone who felt far too distant right now. "Danny's fine. It wasn’t a big accident and he's going to the restaurant with Ha..."

He couldn’t bring himself to finish the name but Grace knew him well enough to understand it. "Harry? He’s still with Harry? But I thought you could bring him home-"

Steve couldn't stand to hear how he had failed her. He couldn't bare it. "Can you find Uncle Junior for a minute please?"

"But-"

"Please."

Grace hesitated. Part of her told her to stand her ground. To fight. To point out she wasn’t one of his soldiers ready to leap into action when he clicked his fingers. But there was something about how pained he looked that felt out of her depth. For all the arguments she had been kicking up recently, when he looked like he needed a hug, everything in her wanted to give it. To hug it better like she had when she was little. When doubt set in, Grace always did what she was told. She hurried off to find Junior, leaving Steve to face down the house alone. Somewhere he had called home all his life. But with the pain tinting the memories of his time with Danny, it was not somewhere he wanted to be right now.

"Commander, everything alright sir?" Junior asked.

Once he was back in cadet mode it was difficult to prize him out of it. Steve knew from experience. Every time Joe came to turn his life into a whirlwind Steve always called him sir. It was drilled in. Junior tried to kick the habit but it was back and Steve barely registered it.

"Hey Junes, everything's fine, Danny's just fine but uh... I... I’m gonna go. Go back to Mary's. Will you stay with the kids until they’re settled please?" Steve asked.

"Of course I will. Are you alright? You look... everything okay?" Junior asked uncertainly.

Steve held his gaze as he took a deep breath. But he decided against telling him the truth. He couldn't bring himself to. Instead he just squeezed past and went to find Joan. She was curled up on the sofa, sleeping beside Charlie. Eddie jumped up onto the sofa to rest his chin on Charlie's lap as he dozed.

It would have been a sweet moment if Steve could focus on it.

Junior gently laid a hand against Charlie to stop him from waking up as Steve carefully scooped Joan up and shifted her onto his hip. She grumbled, waking slightly, before settling on his shoulder. Steve ran a finger across Charlie's hair and gave a quiet sigh. Then he scratched Eddie's ear gently, as if he was saying goodbye. Junior followed him back to the front door again. He grabbed his arm before he could leave.

"Sir!"

Steve shushed him urgently and gestured to the sleeping child on his chest. Junior winced apologetically.

"I just wanted to say I'm here if you need to talk," Junior assured him.

Steve's shoulders drooped slightly for a moment. He felt another spark of guilt. He had spent so long focusing on what he lost with Danny that he'd forgotten the rest of the ohana he had left here. The people who were still here. But right now, he just wanted to be alone.

"Thanks Junes," he muttered.

"Are we still on for drinks tomorrow night sir?" Junior asked.

Drinks with the ohana when he felt so utterly crushed wasn't something he wanted to face. But he owed it to them. So he nodded begrudgingly.

"Tell the kids I love them for me," he said.

Junior nodded back firmly, "Course. Aloha."

"Aloha..."

Joan woke up as Steve was strapping her safely into the seat of his truck. She rubbed her eyes as she yawned.

"Uncle Steve? Is uncle Danno okay?" She asked.

"Yeah Joanie. He's fine," Steve assured her.

She tilted her head in confusion. He wasn’t smiling. That was weird. Uncle Steve always smiled.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" Steve asked with as much warmth as he could muster.

"You look sad," Joan said.

Steve felt it like a thud in his chest. "Go to sleep Joanie. We'll be home soon."

...

"You're quiet."

Danny rolled his head over the chair to look at Harry. The mood had shifted in the car, which was only to be expected, but still wasn’t comfortable. Danny’s mind was still on Steve, even if he didn’t want it to be.

"You didn’t have to goad him like that," Danny said.

Harry eyed him hesitantly as he watched the road ahead. "I was only returning fire dear."

Danny opened his mouth to argue, but just sighed instead. Logically he knew this dull ache would go away, but for some reason pushing Steve away hurt so much more than Danny had expected. Part of him wanted to move on with Harry, continuing their date like it hadn’t been interrupted, but the rest of him really just wanted to go home, settle on the couch with his kids and write off the whole day. There was a long silence between them.

"I take it that he's what you wanted to talk about tonight," Harry said.

It took Danny a moment to remember what it was that he had wanted to talk to Harry about tonight. Steve had walked in and made a mess of his date and his mind.

"No. No uh... Actually I wanted to ask if we could slow down," Danny said

"Slow down?" Harry repeated curiously.

Danny nodded. Harry smirked. He pressed the breaks to allow the car time to slow down. Danny rolled his eyes.

"I should never have taught you about dad jokes," he muttered, "I meant-"

"You meant could _we_ could slow down?" Harry repeated.

Danny licked his lips and nodded. "We've only been officially dating for three weeks and I feel like I've seen more of you than my family. Grace is going back to college soon, I'd like to spend some more time with her."

Harry adjusted in his seat to consider Danny's suggestion. He quietly compared the offer Danny was putting forward to the one he had in his own head. Harry considered telling him his plan for a moment, but then he looked over at Danny. Handsome Danny. Loving Danny. Logically he knew that the best way to go ahead was with full truth. Danny deserved that.

But he wanted just one more night together. One more good night. So he kept his secret.

"I... I suppose I have been trying to spend as much time with you as I can before I leave for England. I may have been monopolizing your time in doing so."

Danny sat up as he caught the lilt in Harry's tone. "Are you worried that you'll be too busy reconnecting with your daughter to talk to me?"

There was another long silence as Harry looked out of the windscreen and adjusted his grip on the wheel. Danny almost laughed. Harry was too busy worrying about staying in touch with Danny in the future that he was driving him mad in the present. The irony was strangely endearing.

"Harry, Sophie is the most important person in your life, I would never ask you to give up time with her to talk to me. Besides, we can text. We can email. We can stay connected, just like we always have," Danny smirked.

"Of course. I just thought I'd spend as much time with you as a physical being as possible before I go. To help cement the memories," Harry explained.

Danny gave a dark chuckle that sent a shiver through Harry. "Believe me there are things you’ve done to me that I will never forget."

Harry chuckled back. He reached out to squeeze Danny's thigh. "Good. I was thinking something similar myself."

"Good. Then we're good?" Danny double checked.

Harry held onto his charming smile as genuinely as he could. "Of course. I'll try to limit myself. As addictive as you are, I don’t want to lose you over it."

Danny tilted his head and wrinkled his nose. He wasn't really sure how he was supposed to react to that. Addiction had destroyed a lot of lives that he had seen and caused a lot of damage. He didn't like the idea of love being so destructive. Harry himself was disruptive enough by just being him. Destructive and disruptive didn't really need partnering. But when Harry looked his way he forced a smile and linked his fingers through Harry's.

"I'll take that as a compliment," he said.

"Shall we put this whole accident behind us for tonight? After shock not withstanding obviously," Harry winked.

Danny chuckled, "I don't think I'm in shock but I'd like to pretend none of this happened."

"Yes, I'm sure we both would," Harry said.

Something in the way he said it sounded off, but he raised their hands together so that he could kiss Danny's knuckles and Danny forgot all about it. He enjoyed his meal, laughed with the chef, drank with Harry, and enjoyed his evening. Everything else was forgotten. But not by anyone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a suggestion but if you're binge reading this I think you should probably take a break now. I mean I'm sure you've got things you're meant to be doing, like sleeping (no judgement its 5 am and I haven't slept) so maybe do that for a bit. Pick up again tomorrow


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay seriously, if you're not gonna take a break then have a bit of a stretch. Unclench your jaw. Can you even feel your legs? When was the last time you drank water? Take care of yourself babe, youre important!

Danny crept in as quietly as possible. It was Saturday morning, the kids should have been having a lie in. He carefully balanced a doggy bag from the restaurant in one hand as he used his other to push aside Eddie. They got as far as the kitchen before he finally barked.

"Shh, you'll wake up-"

"Danno?!"

A thunder of footsteps came racing down the staircase as Grace came flying down them. She dashed across the length of the room and threw herself at her father so hard she almost knocked him to the ground. Danny balanced one arm on her back but had to grab the counter top to keep them both upright as he laughed.

"What's this? Why are you up so early?"

"Danno! Danno you’re okay!" Grace cried in delight.

She pulled back, her arms still around him, but enough that he could see the glimmer of tears in her eyes. His heart almost stopped as he cupped both her cheeks.

"Hey, hey now, what's brought this on? I told you I'd be home late-" he began.

"I'm so glad you’re okay!" She laughed.

Grace buried her head in his chest and he wrapped his arms around her protectively.

"Of course I am. Steve didn’t get you two worried about me too did he? God he can be such a Neanderthal at times," Danny spat bitterly.

"Steve said you were okay, but he had to take Joan home and he couldn't stay and I- I was really worried!" She admitted.

"Oh monkey," Danny cooed.

He kissed her forehead gently and pulled her into another hug. The new tug of guilt he felt in his chest was his own fault. If he had listened to Steve when he said the kids were worried then it wouldn't have gotten this far. But Danny refused to think about that now. He refused to think of Steve.

"Danno!"

Charlie bounced down the stairs happily before attaching himself around Danny's waist. Danny laid a hand on his head to pull him closer. Charlie tilted his head up so his chin dug into Danny's hip.

"Are you hurt Danno? Did you have surgery? Who's gonna look after you, Uncle Steve-" 

Danny felt a painful stab at the mention of his name and interrupted, "You should be in bed mister."

"I told him he could stay up to see you. It was the only way to stop him crying," Junior explained as he sat up from the couch. He stretched his back out with a grunt before adding, "Well that or letting him eat cookies after he already brushed his teeth."

Danny blinked at him in confused surprise. "Junior? What are you doing here?"

"Steve asked me to come and protect the kids while he dealt with something. He didn't say what, but I kinda figured it out," Junior gave a sleepy smirk.

He was oddly proud of himself for having been able to decode Charlie's endless babbling and Grace's frantic half sentences by stitching them together. It took an hour before he figured out what had actually happened though. He still wasn’t sure why Danny or Steve hadn't come home yet though, so he had stayed the night to keep them safe. A fact that he explained to Danny now.

"So Steve thought the kids were in danger and he left them... with you?" Danny repeated disdainfully.

The disdain was for himself, not Junior. Because he had thrown a baseless accusation at Steve just to make him go away so that Harry wouldn't ask any difficult questions. Now he felt bad about it.

Junior didn’t know that though and frowned hard. "I am a highly trained Navy SEAL and a cop Sir, you don’t have to sound so-"

"No, no, I - that’s what I meant. Of all the people on this island that he could have asked to come and watch my kids while he was gone he chose you. A cop. A _Navy SEAL_. Which is slightly over kill, huh?" Danny forced a smile.

Junior scoffed, "Like you'd do anything less."

Danny wanted to deny the accusation but he couldn't. He had found a Navy SEAL willing to put his life on the line to save his kids and Danny had taken advantage of that a dozen times at least. Maybe that's why this place always felt like home. It always felt safer here when Steve was around.

"Thank you Junior. It means a lot," Danny murmured.

"Any time sir. I'll take all the practice I can get!" Junior chuckled, "but Tani's gonna demand pancakes if I'm up this early so I'd better get going."

Danny walked him to the door while the kids hovered in the main room like they couldn't let him out of their sight.

"Thanks again, we really do appreciate it," Grace said.

Charlie waved and Junior instinctively saluted back, making him giggle. Danny smiled to see him happy. He moved to thank Junior himself, but Junior had a more pressing question.

He lowered his tone so the kids wouldn’t hear him ask, "Sir, I know it's none of my business, but did something happen between you and McGarrett last night?"

"Between me and Mc- no, no why uh, why would you ask?" Danny lied quickly. His chest tightened. He didn't want to deal with the way that Steve made his chest hurt.

"It's no big deal he just seemed a little... I dunno maybe a little down when he came back last night. He barely said twenty words and most of them were to Grace," Junior explained.

A pang of guilt hit his chest. The idea of hurting Steve made his insides ache but that felt unfair.

"No, I uh... I have no idea why he would be like that. But I do know that a Quiet Steve is a Dangerous Steve so maybe we should make some kind of big party noise for him and by we I mean anyone but me," Danny suggested.

"Yeah. Good idea," Junior's eyes sparked like he had his own excellent idea, "I'll send a text round to the others that we're gonna make tonight big!"

"Tonight? What's tonight?" Danny blinked.

"I told you yesterday. Steve's drinks and karaoke night remember? It's gonna be a lot of fun," Junior grinned.

"I'm sure but uh..." Danny glanced back into the house. Grace raised her head when he looked back, "I think I should probably stay in with the kids."

"Good call. Bye kids! I'll see you round," Junior waved.

"Aloha Uncle Junior," they waved back.

"Have a beer on me," Danny said.

As he left Danny shut the door but his hand lingered on the handle. It felt wrong. His team, his friends, his _ohana_ were going to La Mariana tonight to drink and sing and have fun. By all rights he should have gone too. But that wasn’t fair to Steve. Danny had asked for distance. He couldn't then go to Steve's party. He couldn't be the one to help cheer him up, no matter how much he wanted to.

"Danno?" Grace said.

Danny looked up. He was needed here. She needed cheering up too. If it came to a choice between Steve and Grace - if it was a choice between _anyone_ and Grace it was a no brainer.

"Don’t you need sleep?" He teased.

"Don't you know how a phone works?!" She huffed. 

Danny bowed his head. He had drummed it into Grace's head hundreds of thousands of times. If she was going out she had to have her phone and it had to have charge on it so that he could track her down even if she couldn't use it. There were plenty of deadspots on the island where they couldn't, but Danny knew he should have known better. 

"I'm sorry. I was so focused on Steve and Harry that it slipped my mind. Next time anything happens, I will phone you, I promise," he said, firmly.

Grace shifted where she stood. She wanted to believe him, she was sure he meant it, but for some reason part of her was convinced he was wrong.

She pointed to the blue box he had brought in with him, "Is that my dessert?"

"Yes, but you’re not having dessert for breakfast," Danny said, holding in a smirk, "your teeth will fall our and you'll be all gummy and gross and that’s not happening."

"So you still went with Harry?" Grace tried to keep the frustration out of her voice.

"As opposed to?" Danny challenged.

 _Your children who were terrified and wanted you home_. "Coming home with Uncle Steve."

Danny's head whipped up to stare at her for a moment. Grace had been around cops long enough to know that reaction in one look.

"Why are you mad at Uncle Steve?" Grace asked.

"When did he become Uncle Steve again?" Danny asked.

It was an attempt to deflect the conversation and for a moment it worked, but only because her answer took him by surprise and another wave of guilt.

"When you didn't call me back, I got scared that you were hurt and he was the only one who was there to help me."

Danny bowed his head. "I'm sorry that happened."

"Don't be. It made me realise that... I can't just cut out family when they're willing to make an effort to be better..." Grace sounded like she was just thinking out loud until she set her shoulders back and said, "I think Uncle Steve's trying to be better."

 _He couldn't be much worse_. Danny kept his thoughts to himself. He didn't want to influence Grace's opinions in any way, especially for the negative. But his lingering silence sparked her frustrations again.

"Why didn't you come home with him?"

"That would have been pretty awkward to explain to my date Grace."

Grace tilted her head as the frustration in her gut ran cold. "You’re mad at Uncle Steve because he interrupted your date?"

"I..." Danny ran a hand through his hair and sighed, "I'm honestly not mad at him I'm mad at myself. I... I didn’t tell Harry Steve was back and then he turned up and ruined our date and I... I need to apologise. Well actually S _teve_ should be the one to apologise-"

"I sent Uncle Steve, Danno."

Danny's words died on his tongue. Grace bit her lip nervously but she held her head high as Danny stared at her. He gulped. If she was telling the truth then he was annoyed at the wrong person. Blaming the wrong person for the interruption. All because he hadn’t stopped to listen. She'd never lied to him before.

"What?" Danny asked.

"I sent him to get you. He didn’t want to go. He was worried we were in danger, but I told him to because..."

Grace's heart thumped as she dropped her head. It was childish but it tangled her stomach to even think it. Danny softened at the fear in her eyes.

"Because?" He repeated, quietly.

"I was _scared!"_ She whined. "You said you were in an accident - _I heard you_ being in an accident _,_ and when I was in an accident..." her voice trembled slightly. It was quieter as she continued, "and then you didn’t come home with Uncle Steve and he said you were okay and I know he wouldn't lie to me but he was so... and I... and you didn’t come home..."

It smacked him round the head like a baseball bat. For his own wellbeing he had forced the memory of Grace's car accident out of his mind. It sparked memories of spinning through the air in his car and losing someone he didn’t even know, and that painfully long walk home that he just couldn't stop walking. It was easier for him to see her drive away if he could forget. Remembering it now sent the same icy unwanted shockwave through him that it had on the day.

"Oh Grace... I didn't even think... I’m so sorry..."

Danny bundled Grace against his chest, wrapping his arms around her like it was the last form of protection he had to offer. She had gotten so big in such a short time. Sometimes he felt like he had blinked and missed it all. But she still just about fit against him.

"I'm sorry Danno," she mumbled into his chest.

"You don’t have anything to be sorry for monkey," Danny muttered back. He pushed a kiss into her hair to prove it.

"I asked Uncle Steve to make sure you came home. He was only there because I asked him to be. I didn't mean to ruin your date. Please don’t blame him."

That one was a little harder to take. Danny was grateful she couldn’t see the grimace on his face. "You, you didn't ruin anything. I should have thought... I guess I got a little wrapped up with Harry. Come here monkey. I’m sorry I put you through that."

Grace wriggled to pull back but not enough to get free. "I thought Harry was driving? That would mean it was his fault?"

"He... it's nobody's - I'm still sorry," was all Danny could offer.

"So is Uncle Steve."

Danny wasn’t sure if he could take another wave of guilt that seemed so undeserved. They didn't seem to stop. All through the date and meeting Harry's friend something had felt off. His mind was elsewhere, even when he was enjoying himself. So, apparently, was Grace's.

"I know babe," Danny muttered.

"Is mom sorry?"

Both of them looked down in surprise to see Charlie staring at them, wide eyed and painful hopeful. They hadn’t noticed him. They thought he had gone back to bed. Grace looked up to Danny for guidance. When none came, Charlie let out a defeated sigh and his head dropped.

"Mom's not coming back, is she?"

Grace still looked to Danny. Danny opened his mouth to find some reassuring lie, but he couldn't. Charlie looked so hurt already. He didn't need false hope. Instead Danny reached out to pull Charlie into their hug.

"I don’t think so buddy," he muttered.

Charlie sighed again. He dropped his head against his fathers leg as Grace moved to hug him.

"I miss her..." Charlie whispered.

"I know," Grace whispered back.

She swallowed. She wanted to tell him that she did too, but deep down she knew it wasn't true. Not always. Sometimes she really did miss her mother and the little ways that she made life easier. But the bigger things were too big to be ignored. A thousand ants can't beat an elephant. They were better off without her.

"Step Stan isn't coming back either," Charlie said.

Grace shook her head. "No."

That one she knew for sure. For everything Stan had ever said about wanting to come home and reconnect to the state he grew up in he had left easy. He made no bars about the fact he would probably never seen them again, but at least he said goodbye.

"It's okay though because they still love you. Even though they're far away," Danny urged.

"Because distance makes the heart fonder, just like Uncle Steve's postcard said, right?" Grace agreed.

Danny rolled his eyes now as he had back then. It sounded like a cloying hallmark card written out in Steve's messy handwriting. Unlike back then though, Grace disagreed. She thought that maybe Steve had meant it. It's usually the things that are meant most that sound fake.

"Things were better when we had two parents. Like when Danno and Uncle Steve loved each other," Charlie grumbled.

With his head resting heavy on Danny's chest he didn’t miss the way his fathers heart beat louder.

"Charlie-" Danny began.

Grace cut him off. "Charlie just because they don’t love each other doesn’t mean that they don’t still love you."

 _Urgh._ Grace rolled her own eyes at herself. It was a cliché. One she had never liked. One that had never brought comfort no matter how many times people said it. But again, it was still true.

"Danno and uncle Steve are fighting. That means we can't see Uncle Steve anymore. That means we've lost everyone," Charlie said.

Danny frowned hard, "Hey now, no, no way. What are you crazy? We haven’t lost anyone!"

"Does that mean I can still see Uncle Steve?" Charlie asked hopefully.

He stared up at Danny, eyes wide and eager. Danny glanced to Grace. He didn’t miss the hope mirrored in her eyes too. _I just got full custody of these kids, now they want me to share them again?_

"You'll see him on Monday, he's still staying with Aunt Mary," Danny said.

"He's supposed to be here. He's lost!" Charlie argued stubbornly.

"We haven't lost anyone Charlie. There's still Aunt Mary and Uncle Junior and Uncle Lou and Uncle Adam and Aunt Kono and Aunt Tani and Uncle Kamekona and Uncle Flippa and Uncle Jerry-" Danny began frantically trying to remember other people on the island that Charlie knew. Thankfully, he had Grace.

She pointedly added, "And _Aunt Noelani,_ " before wandering off to recover something she had found earlier.

Charlie gasped in delight when she held it up. "You found my arm!"

"Yeah, Eddie buried it by the lalani," Grace laughed.

Eddie whined at the accusation and gave the biggest, more innocent eyes he could muster. Danny didn't buy it for a second. Charlie grabbed the life-size bright purple plastic 3D printed skeleton arm from Grace and beamed in delight. Some dried soil was still caught in between the gaps of the hinges in the joints.

"Awesome it looks fresh from the grave!" He cried.

"Wonderful, just what we need, a purple zombie invasion. Nobody tell Uncle Max," Danny teased.

"There's no _b_ _ody_ who can," Grace grinned.

Danny's eyes glared at her but the sparkle in them gave him away, "truly awful."

"Better than yours! It can't be a zombie if it's just a skeleton, right Charlie?!" Grace argued.

The idea made Charlie grin darkly. He lifted both his arms and the additional plastic arm, and moaned like a zombie. It took a moment of laughter for the other two to join the game. Once they did, Danny wrestled Grace in front of him as a sacrifice while she screamed with laughter. Charlie grabbed her and she cried like she was captured before letting it melt into a zombie groan of her own. Charlie squealed as she took his fake arm. Eddie barked, wagging his tail, and planted himself down in front of Charlie, like a barricade for Grace to try and slip past.

Their laughter grew as they played until it culminated in Grace and Charlie having dessert for breakfast and Danny frog marching them upstairs to brush their teeth properly.

Danny smiled to himself in the mirror over their heads as he watched Charlie pretend that the toothpaste foam was rabid zombie foam. At least the storm clouds seemed to have passed over them.

...

Steve's eyes shone with affection as he looked across the table at his friends. Three rounds down he hadn't been allowed to pay for one. Next up was Lou. Their inevitable dance for who should pay would be activated. Steve would offer to, Lou would refuse, call him cheap, but ultimately pay anyway. If history repeated itself as everything else in Steve's life appeared to, Lou wouldn't pay for another drink all night either.

It was almost comforting to see how little had changed. The game had new players, Jake and Lincoln were down at the far end of the table, laughing as Tani and Adam weaved outlandish tales about Steve's antics. One borrowed motorbike up one set of stairs became one stolen motorbike surfed down a set of stairs and out of a second story window. Steve didn’t attempt to correct them. Danny wasn't there to.

"I still caught the guy didn’t I?" He said.

"Yes, yes you did, because you are the greatest, most insane boss we've ever had!" Tani grinned.

She raised a glass to him, ready to make a proper speech, but the others had never been able to keep their mouths shut and weren't about to try.

"I wanna add childish. Competitive. _And cheap!"_ Lou added.

"Hey!" Steve laughed.

"And stubborn, most stubborn man I've ever met in my life," Quinn added.

"But loyal. And a good friend," Adam argued.

"A great Commander," Junior agreed.

Tani put a hand on her hip, "Yall done jumping on my speech? Great. To McGarrett!"

_"McGarrett!"_

The cheer went up in chorus and from across the room, Kamekona looked over. Kamekona was in a business meeting but when he made eye contact with Steve, he lifted a drink to him. Steve nodded in acceptance.

It was an odd feeling. His friends had rallied together around him to haul him up out of the hole he found himself in and he was grateful for it. He was glad they were there. He loved them endlessly for it. But something was still missing. For all of his laughter and the joking and the cheering, Steve didn't feel fully connected anymore. Something had become lost in him. His heart wasn’t in it, even if he tried to be.

"Thanks guys. Y'know I've missed this. This is what ohana's supposed to feel like. Mahalo for coming everyone," he said smiling.

"You kidding? We came to hear you sing," Adam teased.

Another jeer rumbled across the table in agreement.

"I'm not in the mood for singing but uh, but you guys have at," Steve said.

Tani leaned closer to Quinn. "Thirty bucks says I can have Steve up and singing before the end of the night."

"Thirty bucks won't cover the cost of the drinks it'll take to do that," Junior countered.

"Or the cab fair," Adam agreed.

"Leave the drinks to me. I know a guy," Quinn winked.

Steve didn’t miss the way that Tani grinned at Quinn as Quinn winked back at her, sipping her beer. It was a tiny moment. One they wouldn't remember in two minutes. But it spoke volumes. They could have a conversation in expressions and understand what was being said. Laugh at what was being said. Steve felt a stab of longing. He missed that. He missed his best friend.

"What are you gonna sing Lou?" Adam asked.

"Me? Yeah right, I ain't singing. No thanks," Lou sneered.

"Why not? I bet you've got great pipes Grover," Quinn declared.

"I do and if things go my way, and they will, you'll never hear them," Lou sneered again.

Tani tilted her head at Quinn, "forty bucks for them both?"

"Fifty if you can make it a duet," Quinn challenge.

"You’re on."

They shook hands, reaching over each other to do so, and Steve ached. There was only one other time he had felt this lonely while surrounded by people he cared about. It was in those few weeks between his last mission before Hesse - where he lost his best friend before he ever got to meet his daughter and there was nothing Steve could have done to save him. Surrounded by team mates laughing and joking and trying to ignore the feeling of loss, Steve had joined in, but something had been missing. One voice. One laugh. One empty seat. Even in a crowd, in his family, Steve felt that absence.

"Here," Quinn set a shot down in front of Steve.

The liquid swilling in the shot glass was black and glistening. The kind of inky concoction that would be considered poisonous in a cartoon. He looked up at Quinn and cocked an eyebrow suspiciously.

"What's this?" He challenged.

"Magic potion. It'll magic up a smile on your face for longer than just whenever you think someone's looking," she stated.

Steve looked down at it. He lifted the glass by the bottom and twisted it in the air to examine the colour.

"What percentage is it?" He asked.

"Not enough to kill you but enough that you can get out of your head and actually enjoy yourself for once," Quinn declared.

"Quinn, I-"

"Look, Tani over there keeps saying how you and me are practically twins okay? That we've got too many of the same brainwaves, now I don't consider that a problem since we get results-"

"Yeah we do," Steve smirked proudly.

"But it means that I think I know you pretty well and if you’re really like me then you wouldn't be able to resist a challenge," Quinn said.

Her eyes sparkled at the word. Steve's latched onto her like he was a dog and she had said walk.

"A challenge?"

"I bet you’re too chicken to drink that without any more information."

She nodded down at the shot glass. Steve frowned. When he was younger it would have been gone by now. He would have gulped it down before she said a word. But time and action had taken its toll and these days he had to be more considerate about what he out into his body.

"I'm an old man Quinn. The hangover tomorrow could kill me," he said.

"Could. But tonight would be more fun," she winked.

Steve considered this for a moment longer. The hangovers he had been facing recently lasted far longer than he cared to admit. But that was a problem for tomorrow. Tonight he was with his friends. They wanted him there. They wanted him happy. And if this was the only way to get Danny out of his head, well this was the only way to enjoy himself.

Quinn and Tani cheered as Steve slammed the empty shot glass back down on the table victoriously. Junior and Adam shared a knowing smile. They had been in drinking contests with Steve before. He may have had a sailors ability to drink once upon a time, but his new liver didn’t. Like Danny, it kept him in check. Too many drinks and he got touchy. Emotionally and physically. Kono still had a voice message saved on her phone from Adam's number of Steve singing her praises in a slurred voice and telling her her job was still open if she wanted it.

This could get messy.

"I'll put money towards his cab home but it's coming out of what I would've spent on rounds, okay?" Lou muttered.

Adam nodded in agreement. The night was still young, the singing hadn't even started, and they were already prepared for taking care of their friend.

 _Now this is family_. Steve thought to himself.

"Hey!" A smile cracked over his face as he had what he considered to be the best idea he had all week, "I know what I want to sing tonight!"

Twenty minutes later Steve stopped singing We Are Family between verses so that he could call the others up to sing with him. His words had only just begun to get muddled and Adam laughed along with that. Things were going to get worse so right now, just this time, before things went south, he climbed on stage with Steve cheering to welcome him.

"He's not as drunk as he should be for this," Quinn said.

"He's drinking away his sorrows. It's a really bad idea but when all else fails," Lou explained.

They looked up at Steve's bright sun shining grin as he waved at them to come up too. Tani stopped dancing for a second to wave too. She had been the first person up with Steve the moment he starting dragging people on. She still had her drink in her hand and was sipping from the straw while dancing. Junior helped pull Kamekona up onto stage with then. Quinn winced.

"I don't think Rick is insured for - actually I'm not sure Rick is insured. If that stage breaks this place could be shut down," she said.

"I wouldn't worry too much about that. McGarrett the kind of guy who pays for his mistakes. Sometimes too much," Lou said.

He gave a quiet sigh afterwards. Quinn noted his frown. Steve may have been smiling at the moment but Lou knew he was aching on the inside and he hated to see his friends hurt. Quinn downed her drink and rose to her feet.

"Are you going up?"

"Why not? I owe Tani fifteen bucks so far, I might as well enjoy it," Quinn shrugged.

"More fool you," Lou snorted.

Quinn just laughed. As she reached the bottom step Tani reached out to help her up. Quinn's eyes shone as she took Tani's hand. They stayed still for a moment, just grinning at each other, before Tani pulled Quinn up beside her. They danced together, as if no one else was there. Neither of them noticed the way Steve's voice trailed off as he watched them.

It was so easy to miss but Lou did not. He shook his head sympathetically. Steve had brought this on himself by running away from things he should have faced, but that didn’t make it easy to watch. He didn’t want to stick around to see Steve fall apart when the alcohol took him there. That was coming like a frate train.

"Listen man if you're bored enough to come back to work we'll welcome you with open arms but tonight I'm done. I got work tomorrow and no time for a hangover so I'll see you soon," Lou said.

Steve was already closer to drunk than sober so his hand moved from Lou's shoulder up to his neck as he moved in to hug him. The protests wouldn't work but they went through them anyway.

"Alright give my love to the family man," he conceded.

Lou wrinkled his nose at the strong smell of beer, but smiled as Steve's hand fell away from him.

"Welcome home Steve," he said.

Steve forced a smile but Lou saw the way his eyes dulled. This place didn't feel like home to him anymore. Bittersweet irony to Lou. Steve didn’t feel at home anymore and Danny couldn’t feel at home anywhere else.

When were these idiots going to catch each other's wavelengths?

Steve gathered his friends up, Lincoln and Jake included, and ushered them all onto stage one by one to make them sing. While each one sang, some (Tani) far more comfortable doing so than others (Lincoln) Steve stood infront of the stage whooping and cheering and telling anyone who caught his eye that this was his friend and they were awesome. The swell of pride he got from each one of them eased the abyss in his gut long enough for him to almost forget Danny wasn’t here.

And then he'd turn around to see who was next and remember that Danny wasn’t on the list.

Then he had another drink.

It was Adam who eventually decided that Steve was drunk enough to go home and too drunk to do so alone. He took it upon himself to get him there safely. Steve slung an arm around him, leaning almost his full weight onto Adam as they waited for the cab. While they drove along, Steve kept grinning at him and saying, "y’know what? You’re alright!" every few minutes between listing other reasons he liked him. Adam laughed along; his ego flattered.

"I'll tell you something else for nothing," he said as he swayed by the car and watched Adam pay.

"Mahalo," Adam smiled. He turned back to link an arm around Steve's waist to help him walk. "What?"

"You and Kono will have the most gorgeous kids," Steve stated.

Adam's smile grew even as his cheeks flushed. Kono wandered in and out of his life more often as she had started work on the big island, but he wasn’t sure she was ready to settle yet. Or ever.

"Mahalo brother but I don't think-" he began.

"I hope you and Kono make it work this time. I do, I hope you two get to be happy. You deserve to be happy. Like Danny. Danny deserves to be happy," Steve sighed.

Adam tilted his head. "What about you? Don’t you deserve to be happy?"

"If Danny's happy, I'll be okay," Steve smiled.

"That's not what I asked Steve," Adam said gently.

Steve swallowed. He tried hard not to feel the dark clouds forming inside him. He didn’t want them anymore but they never went away. Not without Danny.

"I'll be okay."

Adam hummed dubiously as he rang Mary's doorbell. She opened it quickly and her face fell when she saw the state her brother was in.

"Special delivery," Adam smiled.

"Oh God," Mary groaned.

Steve beamed at her, "Mary! What are you doing here, who's looking after Joan?"

As he swayed forward to hug her she wrinkled her nose. Fumes of alcohol were swirling in the air all around him. Adam reached out to help him stay upright as he stumbled back from Mary.

"Wow. You stink," she said.

"So you do but what am I?" Steve countered.

Mary blinked at him for a moment and then moved to arch an eyebrow at Adam.

"He's had a bit to drink," Adam admitted.

"A bit?" She snorted.

"Alright, a lot," Adam allowed.

"Can you get him to the couch?" Mary asked uncertainly.

Adam looked up at Steve who shifted to look back at him before grinning like an oaf. Adam looked back to Mary, uncertainly.

"Sure?"

Steve threw his head back with a laugh and slung his arm heavily around Adams shoulders again. "Course he can, he can do anything! Adam's amazing man, totally amazing, I remember this one time- A-Adam did this thing, it was so cool - do you remember?"

He thumped Adam's shoulder playfully as him asked. Adam laughed again as he moved to hold onto Steve's wrists. It was easier to control him if Adam treated him like a perp.

"I sure do brother," he lied.

Mary went ahead to clear them a path as Adam tried to walk Steve through the house and down to the couch. Steve staggered as they went, but he allowed Adam to take control.

"You ready to go down for me?" Adam asked.

"Not unless Kono says it's okay," Steve winked.

Mary rolled her eyes as Adam gave a bright smile, but his cheeks flushed slightly.

"I'm gonna pretend I didn’t hear that," he said.

"I'm kidding!" Steve laugher brighter as he dropped down onto the sofa.

"I know man," Adam smiled. "And for what it's worth Steve- Steve?"

Steve had rolled onto his back and slung an arm across his eyes like he was ready to sleep here. When Adam called his name he moved his arm up to blink lazily at him.

"Hmm?"

Adam smiled softly. "You deserve to be happy too Steve."

Steve's face fell slowly as Adam's words sank in. He wasn't sure if he could believe them. After everything life had thrown at him, happiness seemed far too fleeting to hope for. Especially here. His mind wandered to the last time someone had told him that.

_Just, uh, you know, out of curiosity, if I'd have asked, what would you have said?_

_I would've said yes... but hey. Lynn... she seems like a nice girl. I hope that works out. 'Cause you deserve to be happy._

Steve groaned. If Catherine could see him now, after what he said on that plane, she'd laugh at him for sure.

"Thanks for bringing him back in one piece Adam, I really appreciated this, I'm sorry that he's-" Mary began.

"Hey, no, listen, it's fine. After everything he's helped me though this is literally the least I could do," Adam insisted.

"I still appreciate it. Not as much as he'll appreciate Joan's dance lessons tomorrow though," Mary chuckled.

"Rather him than me!" Adam laughed.

Adam hadn't drunk anywhere near as much as Steve but he wasn’t looking forward to tomorrow either. Mary glanced back towards the sofa as she leaned on the door and lowered her tone so Adam could hear and Steve couldn't.

"Did he at least smile? I haven't seen him smiling all day."

"He did yeah," Adam assured her, although he failed to mention how fake Steve's smile had been, "I think he just needed to remember he's not actually alone anymore."

Mary scoffed to herself. "That's the trouble with our family. We've only ever had each other. Half the time we didn't even have us. It gets hard to remember there's other people in the world. I’m gonna break that cycle for Joan though."

She said it with a steely determination. Things would be better for her daughter, no matter what it took. Adam nodded in agreement.

"I'm glad. And I’m here if you want help with that. I'm starting to think I'll never have any little ones so any time I can get-"

"You’re welcome any time Adam. Any time at all."

Adam smiled softly and bowed his head. It took him a moment to feel the honey soaked warmth between them. He had grown fond of Mary recently. He had never much liked his brother (don't get him wrong he loved Micheal but it was hard to like someone who hated him and his wife to the point of murder) and he barely knew his sister, but he had come to see Mary as one. He liked it.

"Mahalo. Have a good night," he said.

"You too. Good night," Mary smiled.

Adam stumbled back out to the cab driver that waited as they had been asked. Mary shut the door, took a deep breath, and wandered back over to the couch. Steve's arm had slipped back over his eyes as he stared into the darkness and contemplated everything he didn't want to think about.

"You got answers or you gonna go to bed?"

Steve lifted his arm just enough to see with one eye how she perched on the coffee table. He let out a sigh as he laid his arm over his eyes again. The pause that followed was so long Mary began to think he really wasn't going to talk.

"All my life I've only wanted to be in the navy. I was just kinda-" Steve waved his hands around in front of him uncertainly, "wafting around before I joined. Grieving mom. Missing dad. Missing you... I thought I'd die before I ever made it to hell week. I thought I'd die in hell week... I never thought I'd be almost fifty and single and living with my sister and niece..."

He let out another heavy sigh as the clouds hanging over him settled in. He was too tired to attempt waving them away. Mary waited for him to finish. She could tell he had more to say and she knew him better than anyone. Well, almost anyone.

"I could have stayed. I could have... Those two are the closest thing I have to kids of my own and I can't, I _can't_ lose them to another brit Mary! I can't lose them at all..."

Instinct told Mary to lay her hand on his bicep to squeeze it sympathetically, and he latched onto her hand for his own reassurance. Her mind was already questioning his resolve though.

"Lose them? You're not gonna lose those kids Steve, they love you," she said.

"I already lost Grace once..." Steve whispered.

Mary hummed thoughtfully. "Do you want to come with me to drop Joan off at school on Monday and see if we can see Charlie?"

Steve thought for a moment before giving a quiet nod. "I'd like that..."

"But you know you'll probably still be hungover. And we're picking him up after school anyway."

"I don't... I can't see Danny Mare. I can't do that to him..."

"Are you gonna tell me what happened yet?"

Mary had been waiting all day to find out why Steve was in such a mood. Joan had told her about the car accident but when Mary texted Danny he said everything was fine. He even sent her a grumpy selfie to prove it. Which meant something else was eating at Steve. He groaned as he inhaled.

"I... I fucked up. I shouldn't have left..."

This wasn’t news to Mary. It wasn't news to anyone. Still she shrugged and listed his excuses back to him. "You had to. You felt lost. Like you'd wasted your time. You had to go and find yourself. You wouldn't have been able to settle if you hadn't. Classic midlife crisis, Stevie."

Steve groaned in disgust at his own excuses. Grace had been able to size up the answers he had found and shoot them back at him like she'd known them for years. Maybe if he'd opened his eyes - no. No it wasn't a case of opening his eyes. He had seen the touches and the look Danny gave him. It was his _heart_ that wasn’t open to accepting what they really meant.

"I should have come back when I first started missing Danny but... look at this-"

Steve made a hapless reach for the bag across the room from him. Mary shook her head pitifully. She got up to fetch the bag for him and dragged it over to the sofa. Steve dug through it with one hand and took a whole bundle of postcards out to push into Mary's lap. Every one of them had a declaration of how much he missed Danny. The more time that passed, the longer they were apart, the more emotional the declarations got. By the last few it was obvious even to Steve that he was painfully in love with Danny and he couldn't stand the distance anymore. Mary flipped through them thoughtfully.

"How much money did you spend on postcards?" She asked.

"Too much. I couldn't send any of them. I couldn't write this to Danny, I had to say it but I couldn't..."

Mary put the pile of postcards in her lap and folded her arms on top of them to focus on him again. "You didn't tell me that mom was alive for months. When I complained, you told me that you couldn’t say it on the phone. You were right. And you’re right about this. You can't say this in a phone call or on a postcard."

Steve sighed. "Doesn't matter anymore. Danny..."

Mary waited for Steve to finish his sentence. He didn’t. He couldn't. He just screwed his eyes shut and wished hard for the ball in his throat to go away.

"Steve if you think that Danny doesn't love you back-" Mary began.

"No, that's the problem. Yesterday... if Danny ever did love me I missed my chance. I owe it to him to let him go."

Mary's jaw fell slightly. It dazed her. In all the time that she had known Danny she had been able to see the love he felt for Steve. Even back when she found them surfing on the beach and living together in Steve's house. She thought they were dating back then. After all, Danny hated surfing. If Steve hadn't seen it back then then he was blind, but it wasn’t all on him.

Steve had opened his house to Danny. Took him surfing at his fathers favourite spot. Shared everything that he had with the man, even if it didn’t seem like much. And Danny couldn't see how deeply in love Steve was either.

They were a pair of idiots. Perfectly suited in their stupidity. The very thing that kept them apart.

"Love goes two ways Steve. He didn’t reach out to you either," Mary said.

"Did I ever give him a reason to?" Steve sighed wistfully.

Mary fought the urge to smack him round the head but it was hard. "Yes. Everyone knew you were in love. Hell man, we teased you about it all the time! He could have tested the waters as easily as you."

"Not when I left."

"How long you gonna beat yourself up about that?"

"It hurt Grace-"

"And you're working to fix that!"

"No, _listen!_ I hurt Grace!" Steve insisted desperately, "I dragged her down and... Danny said he doesn’t want any of the family to be dragged down by me."

Something deeply primal and protective roared into life in Mary's chest at the implication that her brother was a danger to anyone, let alone those kids. (She had a tendency to forget the people Steve had killed because they were going to hurt others anyway. Instead, to her at least, he was a hero.)

"Dragged down? What does he mean dragged down?"

"He didn’t say dragged down he said..."

Steve gulped as he tried hard to remember what Danny had actually said. The exact words. They had played over and over in his head since they left his lips and the constant repetition had gotten them muddled together. All he knew for sure was how much they felt like a knife every time he thought of them.

"He said count us all out... he thinks they're better off without me..."

Mary scoffed bitterly. "Well the last year sure's been proof of that. He’s mopey and stressed and always tired, Grace took a job with Kamekona because she's homesick and wants - um, and Charlie's been passed endlessly between school and babysitters. All of them missed you endlessly the whole time too. Sounds exactly like people better off without you."

Steve blinked at her again. The alcohol had slowed his mind and he couldn’t be sure if she was serious or not.

"Are you being sarcastic?"

" _O_ _f course I am Steve_! They need you! They desperately need you!"

"But Danny doesn’t want me. I can't... I don't know what to tell Grace. I can't leave her again. I can't leave her without... I just can't leave..."

Mary gave a stubborn puff of air through her nose. She had one last ditch attempt to get him to see sense, but if it worked he wouldn't like it.

"Steve look at me. If someone was holding Charlie and Grace hostage what would you do?"

Steve's insides knotted at the idea. He had lived it before. The ordeal of Grace's kidnapping and her dance being held captive and her car crash. All he could do was slip into Commander mode and focus on work. It still didn't make it any easier.

"Take em out," he decided.

"And if one of them got hurt?" Mary asked.

"I'd take care of them. Get em to a hospital if they need it. Make sure they would never get hurt again," Steve said firmly.

He had done that too. Charlie fell into a thorny bush in his garden once. Just once. He needed exactly two band aids. Danny just told him to watch where he was going next time. When he came back to Steve's the next day though, there was no bush to be found and a large patch of dirt where one had been.

"And if they went missing?"

Steve's mind went into overdrive with that one. He had never known either of them to wander off. Neither had ever gone missing, except for the hour before Grace's car was discovered. The idea that they could go missing - that they could disappear and he'd never know what happened - Steve's lungs stopped working. His eyes widened as the panic set in. Mary laid a hand on his chest to try and ground him again. He latched hold of it like she was the only thing that could bring him back down to earth.

"Alright, maybe don't imagine that... Last one though. Are you ready? If Danny died-" Mary's stomach twisted at the idea but the way that Steve gave a tiny gasp made her throat ache like it might sob without her permission. "If _something happened_ to Danny and Rachel got custody, which meant they were going all the way to England for good, what would you do?"

Steve froze. He sat up slightly, looking concerned. Quietly he muttered, "I can't fight for custody Mary..."

"But you want to?" She asked.

He frowned. "I don't want to let them go. I couldn't..."

Even in his drunken haze he couldn't stand the idea of not knowing if the kids were okay. He had spent a year without knowing and he couldn't stand another. But he didn’t expect the amused chuckle from his sister.

"Steve, like it or not, you’re a dad now," she declared. "That means you might have to deal with people like Rachel or Danny even if you don’t want to, because its what’s best for the kids. _I_ didn't want to deal with the adoption agencies checking in but I did, and they helped. Now Joan is thriving."

Steve loathed the idea of facing Rachel after the harm she had caused the kids. His was an accident, but she should have known better. She _did_ know better. And this wasn't the first time she'd done something like this. Back then, as much as Steve hated what she did, Danny hated her more and the person who got hurt most was Grace. She had been hurt enough.

"Danny did deal with Rachel even after she lied about Charlie," Steve muttered.

"Because he’s also a good dad," Mary agreed. "And in the end it doesn’t matter what he wants because Grace is old enough to make her own choices. If she wants to see you, she'll find a way."

That was a refreshing idea. Steve's eyes flicked up at her with renewed hope. "You promise?"

Mary reeled back in alarm. She shook her head firmly, "I don’t promise anything. People never tend to do what I think they should. But you’re a detective. You know what people are like. If they want something bad enough, it tends to happen."

As quickly as she gave him hope she took it away again. He bowed his head. "What if she doesn't?"

Mary gripped his arm firmly and stubbornly. "Listen to me because this is really important. You don’t drag people down Steve. You never have. Believe me. Look at what you’ve done for Five-O! Adam was the head of the Yakuza and Chin wasn't allowed to be a cop! Lou got fired, Tani got kicked out of the academy, Quinn was about to lose her career, Junior was homeless- you gave them a home Steve. You created yourself a family and they needed one as much as you did."

Steve tried to see the positive side that she was pointing out to him, but there were two words that echoed in his head and drew the clouds again. Quietly, miserably, he repeated them to Mary.

"Family stays."

Mary shrugged, "You're still here aren't you?"

That was undeniable. But it still felt like it was too late. "They don't need me anymore."

"So? They might not need you but they still want you. I do," Mary urged.

Steve blinked at her, wide eyed and stunned to silence. Mary sighed. Her hand slipped away from his arm as she sat back further onto her coffee table.

"Back when we were younger I missed you so much. I don't think I ever told you that. Without you around I was- I was a mess Stevie. But you bailed me out and you believed in me and now I'm gonna do the same for you. Because you're an anchor Steve. You’re my anchor. And I think you’re Grace's too. You just need to have a little faith."

Mary raised her head to give him the most earnest smile she could manage. Steve was still stunned. She hadn't called him Stevie in years. No one had. Well, no one but Doris. But it didn't feel so manipulative when Mary said it. It felt like it had before. Back when they were young. Back when he thought he was loved.

Maybe he still was.

"Mary, I..." Steve's drunken mind had a speech forming at the back of the haze, that was utterly and succinctly overridden by his stomach. "I’m gonna be sick."

Mary had time to leap out of the way before Steve was true to his word. Fortunately for Mary - although not for Steve or most of his post cards - he managed to aim right for his own open bag.

Mary wrinkled her nose at what spilt over the edges. "You're cleaning that up."


	14. Chapter 14

Getting ready for school in the morning was easier when Grace was around. Danny didn't like to admit it but when she was at college he missed having her here to help. It was little things. Like how she made coffee, knowing Danny would need a cup to wake up to, and put out a bowl full of cereal and a spoon on the table for Charlie so all he had to do was add milk. It spend up time so she could shower and take Eddie for a run down the beach before they had to leave.

She was efficient. She always had been. After all she was the one who had to make sure she had everything she wanted when she left one parents house to stay with the other. But it wasn't until she had started training for the presidents day races with Steve that she started planning her day like this. Danny blamed Steve. But Danny was also grateful that he got coffee in the morning so it wasn't so much _blaming_ Steve as begrudgingly acknowledging this was Steve's doing.

Eddie scampered in through the back door happily and straight out of the front to find today's newspaper. He trotted back in and held it proudly in his mouth for Danny. Danny scratched his head and thanked him but he put the paper down on the table. He didn’t have time to read it.

"I am already late for work-" he complained to whoever was listening, "so be good at school and work let me know if anyone's schedule changes -"

"I'm not going to work," Grace said.

Danny looked up at her in alarm. He slowed in his tracks even though his mind was nagging at him to leave. "You’re not? You didn’t go to work the other day when you said you were either. Everything okay? Do I have to have a word with Kamekona?"

"Uncle Kamekona is a pushover, you should see how much food he lets Nahele get away with stealing, I can handle him," Grace assured him.

Danny said nothing but he did not believe her. Kamekona was many things but a push over was not one of them. Not where adults were involved anyway. Not to Danny.

"But everything is okay, yes Grace?" He asked, concerned.

Grace nodded, "It will be."

Danny hummed dubiously as he glanced towards the door. "If I wasn’t late we would be discussing that so we will be coming back to it, for now, Charlie! School time, let's go!"

"Coming!"

Charlie came dashing down the stairs fully dressed and ready for school with his skeleton arm hauled across his shoulder as he went. Danny grabbed it off of him as he passed.

"Leave that please, you don’t want to lose it," he said.

"I have to take it!" Charlie whined.

"Why?" Danny asked.

"I want to show Uncle Steve but he won"t come to the house because you shouted at him so I'm taking this to school so he can see it at aunt Mary's!" Charlie insisted.

Danny felt an uncomfortably familiar pang in the middle of his chest at the accusation in his son's voice.

"I... I didn’t shout at Steve Charlie..."

Danny felt like he was making excuses to a child. Worse than that he could tell that Charlie didn't believe him. He didn’t need to make excuses. He didn’t _do_ anything.

Except hurt Steve. And take him away from Charlie. Again. Which made him feel awful again. Maybe he was a little too tough on Steve. Maybe he should apologise. But it felt like he was always the one apologising. 

Grace took the skeleton arm from him and Danny was honestly happy for the distraction.

"I'll take it Charlie. I'll bring it when I come to pick you up, that way it won't get broken at school."

"Yes, that is an excellent idea, thank you Grace," Danny nodded.

"But I wanted to show uncle Steve myself!" Charlie whined.

"You can. I'll make sure you can," Grace assured him.

Charlie grumbled quietly as he tried to think of a way to get out of this. When he looked between his father and his sister he could tell that he couldn’t win. Instead he sighed in disappointment and defeat.

"Okay..."

Danny glanced down at his watch again. "Alright, can you take him? I know I said I would but I'm really late-"

"Just go," Grace waved him out the door.

"Mahalo, I love you-" Danny darted forward to kiss her cheek and paused to kiss Charlie’s head and headed for the door, calling, "be good!"

And the door slammed shut behind him. Grace scratched her head with the arm as she stared at the door. Her mind was where it had been for days now. Busy thinking about Charlie and Steve and how her plan could still work despite both of them. 

Steve may have put a bump in her original idea, but maybe he could be a solution too...

"You're gonna be late to school," Grace told Charlie as she handed him his skeleton.

Charlie reeled back in surprise. "What? Why?"

"I need to see Uncle Steve and if I'm going there anyway I might as well take you and Joan to school," Grace said.

"But why will I be late? You said no one was worth risking my education-"

"They're not and this isn't risking your education, you'll just be a little bit tardy-"

"But you lied about going to work too. Are you lying to Danno-"

"I AM NOT-"

Grace bit her lip hard as Charlie's eyes widened in alarm. She didn’t mean to shout at him. She didn’t mean to shout. But there was an uncomfortable level of anxiety in her stomach caused by the guilt of lying to Danny and of getting Steve into trouble, that ate at her. She didn't want to think of it as lying. It wasn't really. It was just... omitting the truth...

"I'm not lying to Danno Charlie, I'm... look I have a plan. It's a secret plan. And it.... it means risking my education," she admitted.

Charlie scowled at the injustice of it. "But you just said-"

"I know what I said Charlie! Listen to what I'm saying now, it's more important," she insisted, "Danno _cannot_ know about this okay? It's a secret. Only you and me and Aunt Mary and Uncle Steve are going to know about it and that's the way it has to stay for now. Do you understand me?"

Charlie stepped back, screwed up his face and hummed dubiously. Whatever was going on didn’t feel right. It felt sneaky. Like they were keeping secrets that maybe shouldn’t be kept, especially not from Danno. But Grace had kept his secrets before now, and she was his sister and a grown up. She probably knew what she was doing.

"Snitches get stitches. I'm no rat," he said, firmly.

Grace's smile filled with relief as she ruffled his hair, "That's my boy! We gotta go now or we really will be late."

It was a brief fly by first. Grace didn't realise that Steve's hangover would last two days. Usually he was awake before everyone else but today he was still in his room pretending it was a cave. Even though he promised to take Joan to school just to see Charlie he missed them both because of it. Grace took the kids to school and Mary took the time between her leaving and her estimated return to wake up Steve. And, because no one was around so she didn't have to be a grown up, she used Charlie's skeleton arm to do it.

Steve jumped as his hand ran across bones and he scrambled across the bed to get away from them urgently. His heart thundered and his eyes widened and Mary howled with laughter.

 _"Now_ you’re awake!" She laughed.

Steve scowled furiously, "what's the matter with you?! Do you know what I could have done to you - I was a SEAL for God's sake!"

"Yeah, yeah, you're trained to kill with your bare hands, I know," Mary shrugged carelessly as she waves Charlie's arm around. "You also yelped like a puppy at a purple skeleton hand though so maybe you're not as tough as you think you are, huh Super SEAL?"

He huffed bitterly at the amusement in her tone. Honestly it didn't matter that he had experience waking up in the middle of an attack and having to fight for his life the moment his eyes opened, or that he had medals for the dangers he had survived, or that he had taken personal revenge under the guise of US security before now. To Mary he was just Steve. He was the same idiot who she had found crying in a sandbox because he accidentally cut himself with the Swiss army knife that the Scouts had given him. The same idiot she had made wet himself by tickling him and refusing to let him up when he begged. Naval training or not, she would always believe she could beat him in a fight. Irritating as she was, he was still glad that hadn't changed.

"What do you want anyway?!" He demanded.

"You gotta get up. You've got a visitor," she stated.

Steve’s eyes widened hopefully as he breathed, "Danny?"

"I thought you said you weren't going to bother Danny anymore because he’s better off without you. If you really believe he's better off without you why would he come find you huh?" Mary challenged.

Steve's shoulders sagged in disappointment and he rolled his eyes heavily at his sister. "Who is it Mary?"

"Grace."

His eyes widened again. The impatience was gone. "Grace? Seriously?"

"I have better things to do then wake you up just to joke at you Steve!" Mary huffed.

The skeleton arm slung over her shoulder begged to differ.

"Grace is actually here? To talk to me? You're sure she's not just furious that I left her and Charlie with Junior?" He asked uncertainly.

"Ask her yourself. She's taking the kids to school so you've got about twenty minutes before she gets back," Mary said.

Steve nodded in understanding, "I need to get dressed."

"That's my cue to leave. Don’t forget to shower. You seriously stink."

As she left she could feel Steve rolling his eyes again but she wasn’t wrong. The hangover that had landed on him felt as though he had been trampled by wild boar. He didn't have the ability to stand up yesterday, let alone shower. The putrid scent of alcohol and vomit was still lingering around him. It was had enough that he took an extra two minutes in the shower. _Two whole minutes_. He came back into the living room carrying Charlie's arm with him.

"This is actually pretty awesome. Think Noelani will make me one?" He asked cheerfully.

If he clung to the cheerfulness it might keep the swirling pit of nerves in his stomach from taking over. At least that was his hope.

"Noelani's 3D printer is to help her create exact replicas of evidence not to make skeletons for idiots," Mary said, pointedly.

She put her hand on her hip as Steve waved the arm around. He made the hand flap at the wrist and used it to scratch his chin like he was thinking. It slowly coaxed a smile out of Mary. When he pretended it was choking him she couldn't help laughing.

"I want a go!"

Mary reached for it but Steve swept it up out of her reach with a grin.

"I thought they were for idiots!"

"You’re an idiot, I want a go!"

"No! It's my turn!"

"Steve! Don’t be so childish-"

"Me?! You’re the one who keep grabbing-"

Every time she made a grab for it he held it further away until Mary was practically pressed into his armpit and he was trying to shove her back with his free arm as he kept the other outstretched. Neither of them noticed Grace using the spare key to let herself in.

"Well don't break it!" She complained. 

Both adults looked up in alarm as the child found them in a tug of war over a toy arm. Steve snatched his hands away so abruptly that it sent Mary flying. She stumbled and fell onto the sofa. After the initial shock of the landing, she raised the arm above her head.

"I win!"

Grace glanced between her uncle and aunt. Steve ran a hand across the back of his neck and cleared his throat awkwardly. Grace stared at Mary for a moment and Mary's face fell. She could sense the tension in the room, and she guessed exactly what Grace wanted to talk about. It was easier to do it alone. Mary cleared her throat as she stood up.

"I think I'll just go and uh... not....be here..."

Steve stared at Mary in bewilderment at the ridiculousness of her excuse. Mary pulled a face at him behind Grace's back, but showed no regret. She took the arm with her. Steve rolled his eyes. As ridiculous as his sister was, there was a more important matter at hand. His felt a chill through him as he looked down at the young girl in front of him.

"What uh... what's going on Grace?"

"I wanted to... uh..." Grace picked at her nails slightly as she looked down at her feet. “Honestly I wanted to apologise."

Steve blinked in surprise. "Apologise? To me? What for?"

"For getting you in trouble with Danno. I should have told him I sent you. I'm sorry," Grace murmured.

Steve felt a pain in his chest like a knife being twisted. He shook his head slightly and let his voice drop low, "No, Grace, that's... that's not your fault. I knew he would be mad at me for interrupting another date and I still went. That's on me."

"But only because I asked you to. If I had gone myself-" Grace began.

"You could have walked right into a danger zone and gotten yourself hurt. I couldn't let that happen to you," Steve said sternly.

Grace's eyebrows furrowed, "But... but you would let yourself get hurt?"

"I'm not as important," Steve shrugged.

Grace frowned hard. "Everyone's important Steve. Everyone."

The tone of the conversation had shifted somewhat and it was already sending Steve spinning. He wasn't entirely sure when or how it happened but somewhere along his travels he had forgotten that he was important. If he had ever known. Danny tried to hammer it into him but without him there Steve had let it slip away again. After all, no one else thought it. It took Grace stating it as fact for Steve to even remember Danny yelling it at him.

Grace continued, ignorant of the hungover storm already in Steve's mind. "Also... I lied."

"Okay?" Steve frowned.

"I didn’t just come here to apologise. I um... I wanted to ask you a favour. One that Danno won't be happy with," Grace admitted.

Steve tilted his head. That sent off alarm bells. Whatever was going on was big and important and Grace had come to him for some reason. He had no idea what that could be. After all, until a few days ago he was convinced she hated him. He cleared his throat and gestured to the sofa.

"Sit down. Let's talk."

Grace was reluctant to sit, but she did. Steve sat down beside her, full of concern and eager to know what was going on in her head. She licked her lips as she picked at her nails this time. She took a deep breath.

"I want to come home."

Steve waited for the rest. Nothing else came. He blinked. The solution to this seemed obvious to him. "Then come home."

Grace huffed in frustration. "Danno won't let me. He says that home is to distracting with everything that's going on and I wont be able to focus unless I'm far away."

"He's not wrong," Steve said, gently.

"I know he's not because that's that I said to him when I told him I wanted to go to New England. I told him that I wanted to be far enough away that I wouldn't be thinking about home all the time," Grace complained.

"And then you found yourself all alone in a place you didn’t know surrounded by people you didn’t know and all you wanted to do was come home?" Steve asked.

Grace sighed and nodded miserably. His heart went out to her. He knew from experience how awful it was to want to be somewhere but not feeling welcome there. Especially when he had been welcome there before once. He reached out to squeeze her shoulder sympathetically.

"I'm so homesick there Uncle Steve..." Grace's voice caught slightly as she tried not to cry. "Uncle Kamekona helps. He came all the way to the mainland to show me how to make poke. His own grandma's recipe too. No one but me, him, Uncle Flippa and Nahele know how to make it."

"That's... that’s surprisingly nice for Kamekona. What was the catch?" Steve asked suspiciously.

"No catch, it came with the job," she shrugged.

"The job?" He repeated.

She nodded and sniffed. "When I'm on island I work in the shrimp truck. When the students come home for the holidays there’s a big influx of orders so they need all the help they can get."

"I'll bet," Steve muttered.

"And I need the money."

"Money? What for?"

Grace licked her lips again. This was the crux of the issue and it made her stomach squirm to have to face it.

"College fees are expensive. Tuition, food, board, books, it's a lot! And we're a single parent household now so Danno's money doesn't go so far. Anything I can get to help out-"

Steve frowned but he kept his tone gentle to avoid sounding as concerned as he did. "Grace, have you talked to Danny about this? I’m sure he wouldn’t want you worrying about finances-"

Grace shook her head and interrupted, "Danno doesn’t want me to worry about anything but I still do. I've seen how bad things can be, I've seen how dangerous the world is, I worry!"

The imaginary knife in Steve's chest twisted a full circle and he dropped his head. "Oh... I never really thought about how much you've seen..."

"Yeah well it's a lot. And it's a lot harder to deal with when I'm not here. This island..." Grace trailed off slightly as the longing and frustration in her battled for supremacy, "everyone knows me here. I'm grounded. I'm happy. This is home. I don't like being so far away."

Steve considered this for a while. He understood her pain. Being away from Oahu had been like a dull ache somewhere in him for so long that he stopped registering it. In the Navy he had drowned out the desire to go home by constantly focusing on the mission. On getting his friends home alive. It wasn’t until he stepped foot back on Oahu that he remembered that longing because it suddenly stopped. He didn't want Grace to know it at all.

"Well - you're studying marine biology right?" He asked.

Grace's head flicked up to stare at him. "How'd you know that?"

"You kidding?" He snorted, "You told me you wanted to be a marine biologist so you could discover a brand new species and name it after Danny so he would have a reason to go in the ocean and realise it's not scary."

She stared at him. That was so long ago that she could barely remember it. At the time she had been about eight. Kono was teaching her to surf and Danny was being overly wary of the ocean. It felt like a different lifetime.

"You remember that?" She muttered, in awe.

"Of course I do. I remember thinking how sweet you were and how much Danny would hate it and how funny it would be. Besides you told me every time we went scuba diving," Steve smiled.

Grace still stared. Scuba diving with Steve was a big part of her desire to learn marine biology. Spear fishing with Chin (another thing Danny can never know about) was fun, but scuba diving with Steve was fascinating. The two of them would swim along and look at the fish at first and later they went litter picking in the corals too. Steve would sit on the beach with her as she covered him in sand and create stories about bits of litter and how it could have ended up in the water. They were silly stories, but they made her laugh which made him laugh.

His laugh was so intricately linked to her favourite memories.

"I'm sure there's colleges here that offer marine biology courses, why don’t you transfer home?" He asked.

"Hilo does marine biology. That’s on the west coast," Grace said.

"Yeah? Well great! Great! Is that what you need help with, filling in forms and stuff? I can do that!" Steve beamed.

Grace gulped slightly. She was pleased he was eager, because that meant he might be willing to do something less scrupulous.

"Actually... to transfer to Hilo I need to leave New England. We're already halfway through the year, I'll have to ship all my stuff back here, find new accommodation, and that's assuming I'll be allowed to transfer," she explained.

His face fell slightly but he held onto his smile, "That doesn't sound too-"

"And if I do get in it'll take me like a whole year to catch up on the work, which means I'll probably have to take on an additional year of study which means extra tuition fees and rent," she continued.

Now he dropped the smile. "Right. And with Danny being a single income family supporting you _and_ your brother-"

"Yeah. See why I'm in the shrimp truck now?" Grace said glumly.

Grace waited. She picked at her nails again. Steve glanced over at her. She wouldn't meet his eye, but she could practically hear the cogs whirling in his mind. If she had done this right, the way Kamekona had told her to, then Steve would think this was his idea. Grace didn't really like how manipulative it felt, but it had to be Steve's idea. He had to be fully on board.

"How much extra do you need to transfer?" He asked cautiously.

"A lot. A lot more than we have. And the longer I wait the more I'll have to catch up on later," Grace warned tentatively.

Steve hummed. He wanted to help. He had plenty of money with which to help. He was fairly confident that he could at least help to pay for her tuition. But Danny was a proud man. He had once yelled at Steve for paying for a hotel room for him to stay in so that Grace wouldn't have to know how awful his accommodation was. And he had already told Steve to count them out of any of his plans.

This really wouldn't help smooth that bump.

"Well I'm sure if you talk to Danny-" Steve began slowly.

"Danno wont let me come home Steve!" Grace huffed, frustrated, "I've already asked again and again and he wont let me. He says I'm not responsible for this family and he doesn’t want me to risk my education for it!"

"That makes sense-" Steve was more cautious this time.

"This is _my_ family Steve! _Mine!"_ Grace cried, "That means I have a responsibility to it no matter what Danno thinks! And I'm always too busy being homesick and worrying to focus on school anyway so I'm not getting an education! It's not fair, I want to come home!"

The shake in her voice was audible this time and it rather knocked the air out of Steve. She bowed her head again when she felt the tears sting her eyes. She didn’t want to cry, even to get her own way. She wouldn’t stoop that low.

"Do you really not have anyone in New England worth staying for?" Steve asked

"No. No one's worth more than my family," Grace stated.

Steve gulped. "How do you think I can help with this?"

Grace's mouth gaped. She swallowed. She glanced up at him, but looking him in the eye was too much. It felt too much like begging. Instead, she looked down at her nails as she picked at them.

"I know it's not your responsibility or your problem but..." she took a deep breath, "but if you fill in some forms for the financial department we can tell Danno I won a scholarship or something, I dunno. Then you'll be written down as my father and you can agree to let me transfer colleges."

Steve's jaw dropped. He fully froze for a good ten seconds as he tried to process what she was asking of him. One part rang in his mind like a hollow victory bell.

"You want me to pretend to be your dad?" He muttered.

Grace flinched. She had never heard him sound so hollow before. It felt wrong. but she needed this.

"Only for one form- I know it's technically fraud, but we can always say you're my step dad or whatever!" She insisted. Steve was still frozen. Grace's shoulders sagged. Under her breath she muttered, "You’re more of a step dad that Stan ever was anyway."

That made his heart skip a beat. Slowly, floored, he repeated, "You want _me..._ to be your _dad?"_

It felt like a trap. A glorious trap. One that he would blunder freely into if it meant he could keep the bait inside. But Grace could see the uncertainly in him and it made her shift awkwardly.

"If you’re not comfortable doing that we can call it a scholarship-"

She didn’t have time to finish before Steve snapped out of his daydreams and back to reality. "Danny will be furious if he finds out. You know he hates people paying his way for him."

Grace sank into herself as she muttered, "He doesn’t have to find out..."

Steve looked her up and down suspiciously. Grace tapped her toes together as she felt him scanning her like a perp. He was teetering on the edge of a decision, but there were two major drawbacks. Danny would be furious. Absolutely furious. He would rant and rave and flail his hands at Steve for hours, lecturing him on duty and responsibility and Steve would have to sit and nod. If he was lucky that is. If he was less lucky, this would be the straw that broke the camel's back and Danny would threaten him, mean every word, and slap a restraining order on him for good measure.

It was a risk worth taking as long as it wasn't something Grace was going to regret.

"You sure you want this? I mean you picked New England for a reason-"

"That was before mom left and my whole world was turned upside down!" Grace argued defensively.

It was such a sharp and impatience argument that it took Steve aback. She winced again. The defensive fire in her chest was biting at her and when it lashed out she couldn't hold it back. She couldn’t hold it in.

"Just because I was older doesn't mean she didn't ruin my life too by walking out on it. I kept getting phone calls from Charlie in the middle of the night because he was all alone and I couldn't do anything! I've never felt so helpless... Everyone was struggling without me and I was going to use it as leverage against Danno and I've been planning this whole stupid idea for months now and then you came home and you ruined it!" She spat.

"I ruined it?"

Steve reeled back again. It baffled him to discover that Grace was unhappy, not just because of him, but because of everything. He hadn’t even thought about the distance between Grace and her support system when it was torn apart. That was why she was so upset. Not just because of him. His own arrogance astounded him.

"Yes! You ruined my plan! You're home now for good which means _you'll_ be here to take Charlie to school and walk Eddie and make dinner when Danno's cases go on too long and Danno won't need _me!"_ Grace choked on her cry.

She buried her head into her hands to try pointlessly to push the tears out of her eyes. She didn't want to cry. She couldn't cry. This was too important to cry.

Steve frowned. Distance had allowed him to see what Grace didn't know. Like everything that Danny had done that he had shielded from her to protect her innocence. Steve knew exactly how hard Danny had fought to make sure she got to have a normal childhood. The sacrifices he had made for her to be independent and responsible for herself. And now they all felt dashed by her stubborn dedication to responsibility.

"Grace... you're describing a housewife. You're a kid, you don’t have to do any of those things-"

"Who else will?! _Mom?!_ She's not here anymore! Before she left she had a housemaid to do everything for her!" Grace spat.

Steve kept his voice calm to avoid setting her off. By the way she chewed her lip he could tell it wouldn't take much. "You're entitled to your own life. You don’t have to replace her."

Grace bit her lip hard as she shook her head. "Danno is already stretched too far. He never has time to talk. He's always either late for something or exhausted from something else... If I go, Danno will go back to working hard all day, taking care of Charlie all night, being all alone and being miserable. He wont have time for Harry, he wont be able to go out with Five-O, he won't see anyone but Aunt Mary. Just like he did before. He was miserable then too..."

Steve felt the knife replaced by a bullet. He could never stand the idea of Danny being sad alone. That’s why he went to so many funerals with him. He tried to think of what Danny would say now. It was hard. While away he had always had Danny's voice in his head telling him what to do. Keeping him on the straight and narrow. Being his common sense. But since coming home that voice had been silenced and now he needed it he just couldn't find it.

"Grace your father loves you. He loves Charlie. He's happy as long as you're happy-"

"That sucks because I'm not happy either!" Grace spat. "And neither was Charlie until you came home. He spends more time with Aunt Mary than with Danno, she might as well adopt him too!"

"Grace, c'mon, don’t talk like that. Danno's doing all he can, he's only one man. He's only human," Steve argued.

 _"Exactly._ He's all alone too. At least if I came home we'd be all alone together," Grace urged.

Steve's face twisted. They already all felt alone. They were already all together. It didn’t feel any less lonely just because they had company. But Grace was too young to understand that. She looked up at him, eyes brimming with tears, and his heart throbbed.

"Please Uncle Steve? Didn't you miss this place when you went away? Isn’t that why you came back? Why can't I?"

Steve sighed as he hung his head. Grace had him wrapped around he little finger. It was going to get him into so much trouble. But he had one last attempt to use this to his advantage. Negotiation.

"I'm not sure that this will work - I'm not even sure it's a good idea - but if it's really important to you, then I'll make you a deal," he said.

Grace eyed him suspiciously. That wasn't what she had expected. "A deal?"

"I want you to try asking Danno one last time," Steve said, seriously.

"What?! But I told you he doesn’t ever have time to talk!" Grace cried.

"Just try!" Steve urged, "one last time, just try. If it works, great! If not... if not then I'll take a look at those forms and work out how much it'll cost me to help you out."

Grace slumped back into her seat slightly and frowned as she considered her options. Steve was fairly confident that one last push was all Grace needed to make Danny listen to her. She just needed a reason to push.

"So when Danno says no, you'll still do it?" She asked cautiously.

" _If_ Danny says no, I'll try," he said.

Grace hummed dubiously. Steve wasn't making any promises. She wasn't sure how to take that. He very rarely let her down, if you ignored him leaving, so if he said he'd try she had no reason to believe he wouldn't. Still she didn't like tenuous agreements. They were too easy to slip out of. She took another deep breath.

"Alright. I'll try one more time."

Steve lit up. He hadn't fully expected that to work but he was thrilled that it did. He was sure that Danny would listen this time. After all he always did what was best for his kids.

"Hey Grace, is this why you were so mad at me when I first came home?" He asked curiously.

Grace pulled a face. It felt silly now, but she had been so thrown by his arrival that it had made her furious.

"I'm not so mad anymore," she muttered.

Steve's smile grew. "That's the best news I've heard all week."

Grace gave him a sheepish smile back. Steve's smile was infectious. He could brighten a room in an instant. It eased the tension in her chest, even if it left her feeling like a fool for being so frustrated in the first place.

"Um... Charlie's really excited to show you his arm," she said, just to change the subject.

"I think we might have to fight Mary for it," Steve snorted.

Grace gave a small smirk as she remembered the last time it was her and Steve against Mary. "Shall we tag team?"

"You and me against Mary like last Thanksgiving?" Steve grinned.

Grace's smile grew. "That's what I was thinking yeah."

"Great idea, I'm in."

He held up his fist for her to bump against. She rolled her eyes, smirking, and bumped against his knuckles. He grinned.

"Let's do this!"

...

Steve dusted his hands off as he came back downstairs. Mary glanced up at him as she tidied the room.

"Is she asleep already? That's quick," she said.

"Yeah well I told her a story about one of the old navy ships I was on. I told her all the details of the engineering of it and how I sailed it through bad weather and she went out like a light," Steve said as he took a seat.

"So you bored her to sleep?" Mary asked plainly.

"It worked didn’t it?" Steve smirked.

Mary snickered as she rolled her eyes at him. Nothing was quite as boring as Steve telling you a deeply detailed story of which buttons he pressed on which exact class of ship he was sailing and redacting all the good and highly classified bits. She still made a mental note to check in on her daughter before she went to bed. She had a feeling Joan was just pretending to sleep so he would go away and she could play with her Nintendo switch. Mary began gathering up Joan's toys from the floor as she went. Steve watched her thoughtfully.

"Mare?"

"Mmm?"

"When you said she was scared of letting down Danny... did you mean because she was scared of coming home or because she was scared he didn’t want her to?" He asked quietly.

Mary flipped her hair out of her eyes with one hand as she balanced the toy box on her hip. "Neither."

"Then what?" He asked.

Mary exhaled as she explained, "um... Grace has taken on a lot more than she needed to so that life can be easier for everyone. I think she probably had to when she was young. If the only way to stop people from arguing was to be in the room then she probably put herself in the way to stop them arguing. She probably kept doing it after that. Keeping the peace anyway she could. That's probably why she was always such a well behaved kid. All Danny wants is her to be happy so she's trying so hard to be happy for him..." she pursed her lips as she paused and then shrugged it away with a shake of her hand, "then again maybe I've just been reading too many psychology books. Who knows, maybe it's nothing."

It didn’t feel like nothing. It felt like a crumbling cliff edge. Like if she trod too close it would take her down with it. Trouble was that Steve had an affinity for cliff diving.

"Have you said any of that to Danny?" He asked.

"Are you insane? No. And I'm not going to. He needs someone to have his back not someone to make him question his whole parenting," Mary scoffed.

"Right..." Steve frowned.

After talking to Grace all day he had almost forgotten that he wasn't considered family anymore, let alone a parent. That made things harder.

"I'll tell you something though. Something I never thought I'd say to you," Mary said.

"What?" He asked uncertainly.

Mary gave him a soft smile. "You'd make a pretty good dad Steve."

Of all the compliments anyone had ever given him in his entirely life, that was the one that made him proudest.


	15. Chapter 15

The trouble was that Grace hadn't bothered trying to ask her father for anything recently. There was one thing she wanted from him and she knew that he didn't approve. He wanted her to leave Hawaii. He wanted her to grow into herself, away from the family. Like a crab shedding its exoskeleton. But Grace felt like a crab without an exoskeleton when she was out at college. Running around unprotected and scared. She was wringing her pincers - wrists nervously while she waited for the poke to cook.

"Whoa, whoa lil' sistah, it's gonna burn!" Nahele cried as he grabbed the handle of the pan and yanked it away from the fire.

Grace gasped in surprise as he broke through her thoughts. He dumped the poke into a box and handed it over to the last customer of the day. By the time he turned back to Grace she was looking apologetic.

"Where's your head at because it's not in this truck," Nahele said.

"Uncle Steve says he'll pay for me to transfer home as long as I ask Danno one last time for permission," Grace explained.

Nahele raised his chin and nodded in sudden understanding. She had been distracted by college problems since she had arrived home weeks ago now. It had taken two full shifts stuck in this cramped little truck to draw that information out of her. He pulled the truck shutters down and leaned against them to focus on her.

"Have you told Uncle McGarrett that Uncle Williams hasn't listened once to that request?" He asked.

"Of course I did. I think he thinks he's being responsible or that Danno will surprise me and listen for a change," Grace complained.

"You wanna take home some extra shrimp to sweeten the deal?" Nahele offered.

He reached into the storage unit to find the last few shrimp and flashed her a sunny grin as he did. Grace smiled in amusement as she shook her head.

"Nahele you've stolen more shrimp from Uncle Kamekona than the value of the car you stole from uncle steve," she said.

"Hey, he got that car back didnt he?! Technically I just borrowed it," Nahele grinned back.

"If a sentence starts with the word technically, you know you're in the wrong," she countered.

"Well a little wrong is pretty all right," Nahele winked as he dropped the shrimp again.

Grace laughed and rolled her eyes, "When you say crap like that it makes me miss college."

Nahele snorted, _"Please!_ I know you miss me, you go lolo every time you come back!"

"I do not!" She laughed defensively.

"You do so! It's lolo to say you miss the smell of this truck and you know it," he nodded his head stubbornly.

It did feel like a stupid thing to say now but back when she first came to work over the holiday she really had missed the slightly sweaty smell of the fryer and the fish in the truck. It smelt of home. Disgustingly so now, but she would miss it again in New England.

"I wouldn't say it if I was at Hilo," she said pointedly.

"Well if taking my tips would help-" Nahele began.

" _Stop offering me your tips_!" Grace groaned impaitently, "You need them Nahele, keep them! I've got other ways to get money."

He sighed. It was true that Kamekona didn't pay them much above minimum wage unless it was an important shift and he was desperate, but Nahele did other work for him to make up for it. Work that he did pay well for. He didn't mind giving up what ever tips he had made here if it helped his friend achieve her goals. The problem was Grace wouldn't ever take them. She knew how much life cost and wouldn't dream of taking anything from someone with so little. She was much like her father in that way.

"What you need is a sugar daddy-" he began.

He meant it as a joke and Grace could tell he was building up to something, but whatever it was got cut short by Kamekona arriving and scowling at what he heard.

"Hey! Don't fill the keiki's head with that nonsense! Grace's a hard working pono girl and she's not gonna fall for that particular sand pit! Pāpā aku wau iā ʻoe!" He declared.

Nahele snorted and Grace gave a bemused smile.

"Technically you can't forbid me from dating anyone Uncle-" she began.

"If a sentence starts with technically you know you're in the wrong," Nahele teased.

"Nahele I swear I will hit you with that pan!" Grace beamed.

"The one I just stopped you from burning? That's gratitude for you-" Nahele grinned back.

"Hey, hey, now, hey!" Kamekona pulled them apart as if they were actually arguing rather than just teasing each other like always. "You two are behaving worse than usual! What's going on?"

"Nothing uncle Kamekona," Grace said.

At the exact same time Nahele shrugged, "Nothing."

Kamekona glanced between them. He folded his arms. They groaned. When Kamekona folded his arms like he was chanelling an ancient chief they knew they were in for it. He wouldn't let them go until he knew exactly what was going on.

"I can't have my staff arguing in front of the customers, it's bad for business. Shall we talk it out?" He said firmly.

"It's Uncle Steve and Danno," Grace explained.

"They finally realise theyre in love?" Kamekona asked with interest.

He had a lot riding on those two. A whole sweepstake. He had for nine years. Little things like girlfriends, boyfriends, distance or arguments weren't about to sway his opinion. 

"Danno's dating Harry now Uncle Kamekona," Grace reminded him.

"So? Just because you got a fish in the boat don't mean you give up one on the line," Kamekona shrugged.

"This from the man who forbids you from getting a sugar daddy," Nahele scoffed.

Kamekona scowled. He smacked Nahele across the back of his head to scold him. "Stop encouraging that! No one just gives you anything in life without a reason and that reason is the oldest in the book! Nah lil' sistah, you ignore him."

Grace bit back a laugh as Nahele fixed his hair back into position.

"Are you going to give me the money to transfer to Hilo for an extra year then?" She asked.

"You wanna stay and clean out the deep fryer?" Kamekona asked.

Grace looked down at the fryer. It was still bubbling away, full of golden oil and bits of batter that had broken away while cooking. She wrinkled her nose.

"No thanks."

"No extra tips for you then!" Nahele teased.

He waved a couple of dollars in the air between them as he did so Grace made a swipe for them but he was too fast. Grace just laughed. Kamekona rolled his eyes.

"You lolo keikis are lucky its Pau Hana. Go on, get. Someone else'll clean up," he ordered.

"Yeah, uncle Flippa," Nahele snorted.

"You wanna stay and clean too?" Kamekona demanded.

Nahele licked his lips and shook his head, "No."

"Then get," Kamekona ordered. Once Nahele had left he put a hand on Grace's shoulder. "Little one if I have to start checking your boyfriends bank details you best believe I'll tell Detective Williams what I find!"

"Alright Uncle," Grace snorted. She gave him a hug as she left and she could hear him snickering to himself as she followed Nahele out of the truck. "Need a lift Nahele?"

"Nah, I'm meeting some friends on the beach to catch the last surf. Mahalo though," he smiled.

"Shame. I could do with the drive to clear my head," she admitted.

"Stop worrying. He'll say no and you can go straight back to Uncle McGarrett to finish the job," Nahele promised.

"I guess. I just wish I didn't have to go behind Danno's back," Grace admitted.

She looked slightly glum again and Nahele nudged her affectionately. "Wanna come surf with my homies? I promise none of them will hit on you or I'll hit them."

She chuckled and shook her head, "Mahalo but no. I don't have any gear and really I should settle this before I have to go."

"Will I see you before you leave again?"

"Not if Danno says no tonight."

"Ah. Then this is aloha. A hui hou."

"Soon. We'll meet again soon!"

Nahele held out his arms so that Grace could hug him. He smiled as she did. When Kamekona told him that he had hired Grace and wanted Nahele to train her he had been sceptical. Nervous even. He wasn't so sure that she would ever trust him after the way they had met. Stealing her Uncle's car while the two of them were training isn't exactly the best first impressions. But they had become friends over long busy shifts and he was fond of her. Part of him really hoped she transferred to Hilo so they could spend more time together.

"I'm telling you now though next time you come back we go surfing!" Nahele declared.

Grace threw her head back as she laugher, "alright! I'll make a note of it."

Grace was the first one home. Steve had agreed to babysit Charlie and Joan longer than usual today to give her time to talk to Danny without distraction. As far as she was aware there was no case to take up his time so he should be home soon. Grace picked up Eddie's ball. His head snapped up at the sound.

"Come on old man, let's go for a walk."

Eddie hurried over to Grace and circled her. He kept nuzzling the backs of her legs to push her forward and circling back to usher her towards the back door of the house. Grace frowned. They were by the front door. It was smarter to leave this way. Eddie barked. He kept urging her towards the back door. Grace shrugged and followed. He waited for her to open the back door.

Usually when she did he would go hurrying off to do whatever business he needed to do. Today though he stuck close by her side. It was odd. Given his training, it was a little unsettling. He trotted down the steps and towards the grass before he looked back to check she was following. Eddie lead her all the way up to the chairs that Steve kept on the beach, and barked.

"Hello you."

The unfamiliar familiar accent was rich and warm as he reached out to scratch Eddie's head. Grace's shoulders sagged.

"Oh. Aloha."

Harry sat up in surprise and turned to face her. "Aloha. Sorry, I was just waiting for... I didn't expect you to be home."

"I figured."

Grace shifted awkwardly where she stood. She hadn't seen Harry for days now and Danny hadn't mentioned him. It seemed foolish now but she had assumed that something had happened. Danny had a tendency to break up with people and just never talk about them until she actively asked. Then he would look so sad as he explained why they hadn't worked out. Eventually she just gave up asking.

Clearly her assumptions had been wrong, this time anyway. 

"I was going to walk Eddie," she said.

"So I see," he said slowly.

Eddie looked up at her, uncertainly. He waited for permission to walk away, but it didnt come. Grace didn't move. Something kept her rooted to where she stood. 

She hadn't expected to find Harry here. She hadn't seen his car. If he was here Danny would be distracted and he wouldn't have time for the debate and negotiations that came with her moving home.

"Is something on your mind?" Harry asked.

She swallowed. Logically she knew he was trained to read body language, but she didnt like feeling like an open book to him.

"Here," he patted the chair beside him, "pull up a pew. Let's have a chinwag."

Grace hesitated. She had no reason not to trust Harry, other than her inital disappointment of finding him here, but something in her told her that something was off. It just felt... wrong.

"You're here for Danno? He doesn't finish work for another hour," she said.

"Yes well, we agreed to take things slow and I don't think showing up at his work counts as slow," he said.

"But showing up at his house does?"

Harry shifted a little further to see her better. She saw the way his eye squinted suspiciously. But then he broke out his patented snakish grin and Grace was thrown off slightly.

"You're a sharp shooter huh? You've been on your feet all day, take a seat, please," Harry said.

Grace glanced down at Eddie. It still felt like he was hiding something but she felt compelled to sit. It was the polite thing to do. Danny had raised her to be polite. Eddie sat directly beside her feet. That was comforting.

"You have questions," Harry said calmly.

Grace eyed him. "Is that a question or a statement?"

"A statement. But confirmed by your question. Ask away, I don't mind."

He sat back in his seat to await the questions that Grace could come up with. She had many. The big ones were too big to ask flat out like this. Part of her wondered if Harry had expected that and was trying to coax them out of her. The rest of her wondered why he would bother now. It was too early in their relation to be considered settling down, and the big questions only ever got asked when something was changing. It all just felt odd.

"You're lady Sophie's father?" She asked uncertainly.

He nodded, pride in his smile, "I am."

"Lady Sophie's in England?"

"She is."

"Mom left our family to go back to England because she couldn't get her green card renewed. How's your Visa status?"

There was accusation in her tone but none in her mind. She figured that a British spy would have no trouble infiltrating Hawaii and settling illegally if they really wanted to. Still Harry cocked his head curiously when she asked it.

"Are you worried that I'm only interested in Danny for a green card or that I could be deported just when you've gotten to like me?"

"What makes you think I don't already like you?" She challenged.

"Do you?" He challenged back.

It was an earnest question. His ego didn't come into play, as far as she could tell. If anything it was just to throw her off. The polite thing to do was to say yes even if it wasn't true necessarily true. He was judging if she was polite or honest. Danny had raised her to be polite. As long as it was safe to be. But honesty usually felt safer.

"I don't know," she admitted. "You're a bit like the prince in Into The Words. You're charming, but are you sincere?"

Harry's eyebrow arched in interest. Grace clearly hadn’t meant it as anything more than a rhetorical question gauging his reliability, but it did make him think. His job was in pretence. Sincerity never came into it, even if it sounded so. There was a certain layer of authenticity to the question that made him wonder what the answer was. He didn’t have one.

"Can I ask you a question?" Harry asked, changing the subject so he wouldn’t have to answer at all.

Grace blinked. She was beginning to feel like she was in the intellectual equivalent of a tug of war with Eddie. Eddie thought he could outsmart his opponents by shaking them loose, but she knew the best way to beat him was to twist the toy in his jaws till he lost his grip and it fell free. Neither she nor I have any idea what the intellectual equivalent of twisting a toy free is. She wasn't going to let him shake her up though.

"I guess," Grace shrugged.

"How did you know these are real diamonds?" Harry asked curiously.

He tapped his watch pointedly. There was no accusations in his words. He was just curious. But it made Grace's heart thump as she remember a promise she had made to keep a secret.

"Because they're diamonds. They’re clear cut, but you can't see straight through them. You can't see through diamonds," she said.

"But how do you know that?" The accusation now entered his tone.

Grace clenched her jaw for a moment and then cursed inwardly. He would have noticed. She knew he would have. It was odd to be sitting in front of someone who knew she was lying and seemed to be trying to trick her into confessing. No one ever had to trick her into confessing before. They just asked her and she told them the truth. Harry didn't believe anyone would tell the truth like that. It didn't help that she had been bluffing about these diamonds.

"I've met a lot of unsavoury characters," she said slowly.

"So have I but my job tends to bring me to them," he said.

Grace shrugged, "mine brings them to me."

It wasn't overtly untrue. Even criminals have to eat and a lot of them knew Kamekona from prison. He was well known for his hot plate cell cafe in there. Among other things. Harry could still see she was lying though.

"You’re not going to tell me are you?"

"Nope."

Do not tell Danny but Kamekona held a poker night and invited Grace so she could meet some co-workers. Sang Min turned up. He entered the stake with three genuine star cut diamonds and Flippa, being the dealer, showed them all how to prove they were real. If she had won she would have been at Hilo already. 

"You're a very interesting person Grace. Very protective. Loyal. I admire that. With that and the ability to identify diamonds you really would be an assist to MI5," Harry chuckled.

"Can I ask _you_ a question?" Grace challenged.

He held onto that charming smile and the more Grace saw it the less charming it felt. "You can but I can't promise I'll answer it."

"Have you told Danno you're here?"

Harry's smile faded at the edges. Grace wouldn't have noticed if Chin hadn't trained her in the art of body language. Well, people watching. Same thing in the end.

"Do I need permission to drop in at my boyfriends?" Harry asked plainly.

There was something behind his words. Something he wasn’t saying. Grace didn't know what and she was fed up of this strange dance they seemed to be doing.

"What's going on?" She demanded.

"How do you mean?" He asked innocently.

"I feel like I'm being interrogated. Eddie knew you were here so you've been here for a while and everyone knows the back door is always unlocked. You didn’t park your car out front. You could have gone in at any time but you chose to sit and wait here. You're hiding. Why? What are you waiting for?" She demanded.

Harry's face changed. He was used to being the one asking questions. He was not used to or expecting a late teenage girl to cut through the crap and demand answers like a cop. Like her father. He was an actual cop too. If she could tell he was keeping secrets Danny definitely would, and he wouldn't humour Harry side stepping questions anymore. He sighed. He was off his game.

"You want the truth?"

"Yes."

"I was waiting for Steve."

Grace felt a thud in her chest. She had been so busy thinking about how Steve coming home would impact her and Charlie and Danny that she hadn’t considered how sneaking him in and out of the house would look to Harry. And he had to know. He was as well trained if not better than Five-O at detecting things. It seemed really obvious now that she thought about it.

"You helped Danny hide Steve from me didn't you?" Harry asked.

"I..." of course he knew. They were too obvious. What was the point in lying anymore? "Yeah."

Harry looked surprised. "At least you admit it."

"What's to admit?" Grace asked drily, "Charlie won the pizza contest. He wanted uncle Steve to come babysit. Uncle Steve babysat. I asked him to leave because I came home. What are you suggesting?"

Grace thought that she could guilt him into admitting he thought Danny was having an affair. Something that twisted her chest to think about. Danny was loyal. Devoted. He didn’t do things like that. But Harry's surprise hadn’t faded.

"Steve was on the island for the pizza contest?"

Grace blinked again. There was something in his tone that made her feel like she had absolutely just dropped herself, and maybe Danno, in it.

"I feel like you're trapping me into saying something I shouldn't. What's going on?" She asked urgently.

There was a pause as the air between them hung heavy with thought. Then Harry shifted.

"I apologise," he said, smiling politely again, "I was testing a theory."

"If you have a question just ask me. I'll answer it if I can," She stated firmly.

If he had doubts Grace could settle she wasn't going to leave until they were settled. Okay, Steve was home now, so what? Danny was happier than he had been in a long time now that he had Harry. Grace didn't want that to stop just because she and her brother loved their uncle.

Harry eyed Grace curiously. In the last seven weeks she hadn't lied to him directly. As far as he could tell she didn’t ever lie when asked a direct question. Instead she just skirted around the truth, or whatever she didn’t want to admit, and pushed it back on you. Just like he did. And he found that made it easier to believe her.

"When did Steve arrive?" He asked.

Grace frowned. Everything had happened so rapidly that a day could last a week recently. She couldn't fully remember the time frame but she knew what else happened the day he came back.

"When did you and Danno have your first date?" She asked.

Harry's eyes widened, "That long ago?"

Grace felt another spark of guilt at the sense that she had accidentally said something she shouldn't. "Didn't Danno tell you this when Uncle Steve went to the car crash?"

"No," Harry admitted. "He said Steve was back. He didn’t say how long he'd been back."

"I'm sure there's a reason for that."

"Yes. I'm sure there is too..."

Grace shifted awkwardly. She didn’t like this new tension in the air. All the things that felt known but unsaid hung around them like ghosts in their peripheral vision. She didn’t like it when things went unsaid. In her experience they ended up being shouted later, usually at just the wrong time. Miscommunications were her most hated foe. Especially this one. She licked her lips nervously.

"Harry?"

"Mmm?"

She gulped. "Danno isn't the kind of man who cheats."

Grace said it with all the confidence she could muster but they were dashed as he gave a wry chuckle. The all too knowing smile in his eyes sparked a defensive fire in her chest.

"He isn't!" She insisted.

"Like I said, I admire your loyalty Grace, but history has proved you wrong by the fact that you have a brother," Harry pointed out.

Grace scowled as she felt her cheeks flush. There wasn't much she could say to argue against that. Back then she hadn't noticed her parents spending so much time together because she was with Stan and they were always going off to argue somewhere private. She could still remember how furious Stan was when he realised he had been babysitting Grace so that her mother and father could cheat on him in peace. She balled her fists around her thumbs to think of how glad she had once been when her mother betrayed someone else in front of her.

"That doesn't count. That was mom. Danno was single. Mom cheated," she spat.

Harry softened slightly to see her fury, but he still said, "It takes two."

She huffed. He was right of course. In Grace's mind her father would never knowingly betray anybody. But when her mother was involved she didn't know what to expect. He had deeply loved her once, and love makes you do crazy things.

"Danno is not cheating on _you,"_ Grace said firmly, "Believe me. Uncle Steve only ever comes over to see _us._ Danno hasn't spoken to him since your date."

Harry looked her up and down. Grace seemed so absolutely certain about that that it quelled some of the doubts brewing in his mind. _Some_ of the doubts.

"Did Danny ask you to hide Steve from me?"

"No."

"Grace-"

"He didn't!" She insisted earnestly. "I knew he hadn’t told you Uncle Steve was around, but honestly I was trying to stop him and Danno having an argument and waking up Charlie. No one asked me to do anything. No one had to. This is my family. We look out for each other."

Grace raised her head and met his eye as she said it, but it was the way that Eddie barked and wagged his tail in agreement that really caught Harry. Grace's family looked out for each other. Harry had seen it for himself. He had seen how far Danny would go for someone he loved even if they didn’t love him back. He had seen how constantly loyal Charlie was to someone who had already hurt him once. He had seen how devoted Grace was to their happiness. The trouble was, as it constantly seemed to be, Steve still had attachments to the family. Maybe not by name, and only recently by title again, but he was still there. They still loved him. And love made people do crazy thing.

"Steven is a part of your family, isn't he?" Harry asked. 

Grace gulped. That alone told Harry everything he needed to know. There was a flicker of relief in his stomach. Harry had already made a decision. He had hoped to talk to Steve about it first, but he didn't need to anymore. His mind was made up.

"Family is about being there to support each other and love each other. This one's about loyalty. Even if it hurts," Grace explained, quietly.

"I believe you," Harry said.

"That's because I'm telling the truth."

Harry's heart thudded against his chest at the idea of family and loyalty. He didn’t have much experience in those areas. The only people he was loyal to were the ones proven to be loyal to him. Family, well that was something else all together. He took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Making you feel uncomfortable. It's the interrogation thing. I find it difficult to just ask someone a question and expect the truth back. I do apologise for my lack of manners."

"Oh," Grace shifted again at the sudden change back to his usual care free existence. "Um, okay. I forgive you."

"Mahalo. Now, I don't wish to make you feel that I'm not enjoying your company, but Eddie seems rather put out that you haven’t thrown that ball yet," Harry said.

"Right! Eddie!" Grace had utterly forgotten what she was doing out here. "C'mon boy, go get it!"

Eddie leapt to attention the instant that Grace showed him the ball in her hand again. She threw it and he went bumbling off after it at top speed. Eddie hadn't ever quite managed to figure out that sand was slippery to run on. Grace giggled as she watched him go. Something about the pale sky around them and the taste of the sea form wafting on the breeze combined with the sight of Eddie almost galloping with glee at being outside felt fresh. It felt renewing. It was about as far from the weight of her fathers relationship as possible.

The sudden freedom that shone down on her kicked up her impulsive side and she went running. Just as freely and madly as Eddie, she ran across the sand and discovered how slippery sliding sand was to run on. Eddie ears perked up, alert at the sound of her laughing yelp. Then he barked and grabbed his ball to race to her side. He was thrilled to have someone to run with, just for the sake of running. Ever since Junior moved out, he hadn't had the opportunity.

Grace giggled between pants as she headed back up the garden towards the house. She had been sprayed with sea salt and dusted with sand and she was delighted. Eddie trotted beside her, happily panting through his ball. They both slowed when they heard unhappy voices in the garden.

"I understand you want to stay close to your comfort zones but this time I think it would be best if we went somewhere private," Harry urged.

Danny grumbled uncertainly, "I don’t know when I'll be free-"

Harry sighed with impatience, "I'm sure you can find someone who is eager to spend time with your children."

Danny clenched his jaw. It wasn’t an out and out accusation. It wasn’t even an accusation. Neither of them would ever know if Harry had been implying that they should utilise Steve or if he was just stating a fact, but their minds went instantly to the same person. Grace stumbled backwards. She had just left the heavy conversations behind. She didn’t want to walk right back into one.

Eddie, however, was a dog, and he didn't care.

As he bumped into her legs to get past her, Grace tried to stop him by grabbing his fur but she couldn’t get a hold. "Eddie-"

The sound caught Danny's attention. As soon as Eddie trotted free from the bushes, Grace didn’t have much choice but to follow. The look on Danny's face was the same look he used to have when she walked out of her bedroom and into the middle of his and Rachel's argument as a toddler. She hated that look.

"Grace. You’re home early," he said.

"I uh, I needed to talk..." Grace's heart caught in her throat. Danny glanced towards Harry uncomfortably. Whatever they had started, he clearly wanted to finish. This wasn’t the time to pile on. "Kamekona let us go home early so that Nahele could go surfing."

"Then where's-"

"What, I can't come home to walk the dog before going to pick up Charlie?"

"He's still with Mary?" Danny suddenly looked very eager.

"I guess he must be," Grace said.

"Oh! Then I should go and pick him up," Danny said.

His tone had brightened considerably and it was blatantly obvious that he was just trying to get away from Harry. Grace's chest tightened. She couldn’t let Danny get Charlie. If he spoke to Steve, Steve would say something that exposed her plans and everything would unravel.

"N-no, no, I can. I will!" She insisted.

Danny tried not to grimace. He didn’t want to argue with Harry, but he also didn’t want to explain why he hadn’t told him about Steve. Explaining himself was his least favourite part of a relationship. It was far too messy and vulnerable and since love made you do crazy things, explaining them made you feel like an idiot.

"Save your gas, I'll go-" Danny began.

"No!" Grace yelped.

Both men stared at her. She swore inwardly. That was too insistent. Now she looked suspicious. _Creating a secret conspiracy plots a whole lot harder than Uncle Jerry made it sound_. Danny tilted his head at her as he finally noticed the way she was picking at her finger nails nervously and standing on her tip toes like it would make it easier to run.

"Everything okay Grace?" He asked, concerned.

"Um..." Grace's voice went up a pitch and Harry took pity on her.

"I think she's trying to stop you from going to see Steve. Apparently he's been on the island for much longer than you implied," he said.

Grace felt a wave of guilt to the chest as Danny's eyes snapped onto Harry, alarmed. Harry held his gaze as he watched Danny mentally scramble for an excuse. Whatever he could come up with was going to take time to explain, somewhere private where the kids wouldn’t interrupt. He lot out a long breath as he realised he was beat.

"Does it have to be tonight?" He asked.

"It can be tomorrow if that's easier, but no later than that. It really is important," Harry said, gently.

Danny sighed. The guilt in his chest made his lungs ache. He didn’t mean to keep secrets, and now he had no idea how to explain himself. It was going to take a while.

"Grace can you pick up Charlie and look after him tonight?" Danny asked hopefully.

The guilt in her chest tinged with relief for a moment. Then she remembered the deal she had made with Steve. "What time will you be back?"

"Um..." Danny glanced at Harry.

"I'll make sure we're done before his curfew," Harry assured her.

"O...kay," Grace said slowly. When their eyes met she could see something in his. Some sad secret trying to get out. But that was none of her business and she had more important things that were so she turned back to Danny, "there was something I wanted to ask you about though."

"Do you want to come and help me find an outfit? You can talk while we do," he asked.

"I uh..."

Grace really needed his full attention for this is it was going to be the honest attempt that Steve expected. But she had warned him that Danny was busy. He didn’t have time to listen.

"Yeah... yeah I'll come help."

"I'll wait here," Harry said, pointedly.

Danny made his way up the stairs first and Harry's eyes lingered on Grace as she followed. He didn’t need words to warn her not to mention their conversation. Had it been anywhere near her mind at the time she would have used his lack of words as an excuse. No verbal agreement, no understanding. Tani had taught her to look for loopholes like that. Actually most of Five-O had but Tani in particular. She relished technicalities.

Grace crossed her legs on the edge of Danny's bed to sit and watch him go through his wardrobe. They both knew he would end up in a loose fitting cotton shirt, probably his pale blue one, black trousers and maybe, since it was a nice night, forgo the tie. They still went through this charade like they did every time because it was what people did.

"I still say that one looks best on you," Grace teased.

Danny wrinkled his nose at the white and blue aloha shirt that had found its way into his wardrobe after one of Chin's themed parties. It was actually Chin's once. He leant it to Danny when he refused to buy his own. Danny spilt beer on it and had it dry cleaned before giving it back and Chin had forgotten to take it with him so many times that Danny just kept it.

"Not for a date monkey," he said.

"But it makes you look like you actually like it here," Grace countered.

"I do like it here. A lot more than I used to anyway," he said.

"So do I," Grace said.

Danny snorted, "you basically grew up here, you don't know any different."

"Actually I do. I remember New Jersey and now I'm going back to New England. I know different Danno."

Danny's shoulders tensed, "I can't believe I forgot, it's almost your last week."

Grace gave a quiet nod. "Today was my last shift. I'm gonna miss that truck..."

"Really?" Danny snorted.

Grace scowled. "Why does everyone keep saying that? Yes! Yes I miss that stupid truck! I miss it the same way I miss that beach out there and that volcano and I miss you and Charlie and that I miss being here! I miss it all so, so much and now... now you're making me leave again..."

Danny’s chest tightened as he saw Grace's shoulders drop in her reflection in the mirror.

"Monkey..." he said sympathetically. He turned to face her, "monkey I'm not making you leave."

Grace looked up in surprise, "You’re- you're not?"

"Of course not. Do you know how much it broke my heart to get back on that plane without you? It felt insane! This house is so big and empty without you in it. But you _wanted_ to go to New England. You were excited to go, and I was happy that you were doing something you wanted to do, that's all," Danny explained gently.

Her stomach knotted. "So... so if I wanted to do something different, if I wanted to go somewhere different, would that be okay?"

"All I want is what's best for you. And what’s best for you is to be far enough away that this place doesn't distract you from your work when the chaos starts up. Believe me, it's easier to concentrate and do well when you're not stuck at home with us monkey," Danny explained.

Grace scowled again. He turned back to wardrobe to continue looking through his shirts. He didn’t understand what he wasn’t seeing. He wasn't listening. Grace balled her fists in frustration.

"Don't call me that. I’m not a child!" She spat.

"Course not," he smirked, his eyes shining. "You’re a monkey."

"Danno-"

"The cutest little monkey in a polka dot dress-"

" _I_ _am not Dad_!" she snapped. "I am a grown woman who lives _a thousand miles away_ from everyone she loves, in a crappy dorm surrounded by _strangers_ who wouldn’t care if I vanished tomorrow! Clearly neither do you! Now if you excuse me I have to drive my car to pick up my little brother from my aunts house because, for now at least, I’m still within driving distance of people who love me, even if I'm clearly not right now!"

Danny was so taken aback at how quickly she had lost her temper that for a moment he couldn’t react. He froze up. By the time he found his voice again she was already out of the door.

"Grace - Grace I'm sorry, I didn't- Grace come back!"

Harry leapt to his feet as Grace stormed past him. She didn’t even stop to put on her shoes before leaving, car keys in hand. Danny came racing down the stairs after her, but it was useless. She was angry and she was gone and he didn’t understand why.

"Everything okay?" Harry asked.

"I have no idea," Danny muttered.

Harry did his best not to roll his eyes. He knew what this meant. Danny was going to try pushing back their dinner. Not this time.

"I should go after her-" Danny began.

"It can wait Danny. Give her time to go away and cool off. She'll be fine. She is a grown up," Harry argued.

"She may be a grown up but she's still my baby girl. I should go after her," Danny declared.

"Danny please. I need to talk to you. Grace is obviously going to Mary to find Charlie, I'm sure she can find comfort there!" Harry insisted.

 _"Steve is not my daughters father!_ " Danny snapped furiously.

Harry's hand fell way from Danny's shoulder as he took a step backwards. "I was talking about Mary."

"Oh..."

A wave of guilty humiliation washed over Danny so heavily that his cheeks turned red. Steve wasn’t even here and he was still getting between them. Harry's heart sank. His only consolation was that this would make tonight easier.

"We should go. I have a reservation booked," he said.

"I'm not finished getting dressed-" Danny began.

"What you’re wearing is fine."

Danny stared at Harry for a moment. Usually he wanted to go somewhere fancy. Somewhere that no child would ever step foot in. That usually came with a dress code. But tonight something was different and Danny was fairly certain he knew what.

Reluctantly he just muttered, "Okay..."

As Harry wandered over to where he had parked his car, leading Danny along the way, Danny texted Mary to make sure Grace was safe. He had tried texting her and she was ignoring him.

Mary glanced up at the doorway at the sound of a car engine arriving outside. Between the text she had just recieved and the look on Grace's face, she was confident that this was a private matter. One she was more than willing to leave to Steve. 

"He said no."

"Did he say why?"

"No!"

Grace threw her hands in the air like she was swatting imaginary flies as she paced back and forth across Mary's garden. Steve sat at the little metal table that Mary had put out here and watched her pace. It didn’t take a Detective to tell that she was angry, but it helped to be one so that he could see she was holding something in as well. Some level of guilt or fear or something equally worrying. Something that could make her lash out if she didn't get it off her chest.

"It's because he doesn't care how miserable I am as long as I'm getting good grades!" She decided.

Steve hummed dubiously, "That does not sound like Danny."

"He doesn't want me here Uncle Steve!" She cried.

"No, Grace, no. He doesn't want _me_ here," Steve corrected, _"You_ he loves beyond all other things. I mean he came to Hawaii for you didn’t he?"

Grace rolled her eyes, " _Eleven years ago_! One good act does not a hero make!"

Steve hummed again. Grace was sick of people throwing Danny's sacrifice around like it invalidated everything that he had gotten wrong since. Steve sympathised with her, but he deeply disagreed. He knew plenty of people who wouldn't uproot themselves, even for their children. John was one of them. 

"Grace, look at me," he said, seriously.

Grace didn’t want to stop pacing but he repeated himself so she huffed, folded her arms, and stomped over to look at him. She looked like a grumpy toddler and Steve had to hold in a smirk.

"After everything you've been through, have you ever once felt like Danny didn't love you endlessly? That he wouldn't do anything for you? That he wouldn't walk across the sea to find you if you called even though he’s terrified of the sea?"

Grace scowled as she snatched her eyes away from Steve. The part of her mind that wasn't so endlessly frustrated with everyone and everything recalled the things that her father had done for her. The things she loved him for and never told him so. There was a warm pool in her stomach as she felt that affectionate tug for a moment, and then the bitterness snatched it away. She hated when Steve was right.

"No..." she grumbled.

"Exactly. So what happened?" Steve asked gently.

Grace stamped her foot and grumbled nonsense. She felt like a toddler having a tantrum which was even more frustrating to her than anything. It was hard to prove you were a grown up when you felt like a toddler. Then again if being a toddler was the only way to be heard she wasn't above throwing a tantrum.

"I can't help if I don't understand," Steve urged gently.

Grace huffed again. She went over the argument with Danny mentally. Thinking back on it she wasn’t really sure about why she had reacted like this. It was almost exactly what she was expecting, and it had set her off. She hadn't tried to explain herself at all, she just reacted for her own defence. There had been at least two therapists who warned her against that. Her shoulders sagged at the realisation.

"I... I might have over reacted..." she muttered.

 _might have?_ Steve was amused for a split second, before she gave such a loaded sigh that it made his chest heavy.

"Was it me? Did I push you too hard?" He asked.

She scoffed but there was a small smirk behind it, "You're not that special Uncle Steve. I think this one is my fault."

"Okay. How?"

"I... he treats me like a child! He keeps calling me monkey..."

"That is his nickname for you isn’t it?"

Grace groaned. That wasn’t the point. "He says he wants what's best for me and he's decided that that's keeping me at an arms length even though I'm needed here! He says that since I wanted to go to New England he wants to do all he can to keep me there and he won't listen when I say I'm wrong!"

The renewed anger in her was winding up in her voice again and Steve sat up. He knew Danny's shouting meant very little more than him being loudly displeased, but it was rare for Grace to raise hers. She had always been level headed. Steve wasn't really sure how to handle her kicking off.

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay, take a breath," he urged.

Grace struggled to hold in her yelling for long enough to breathe so Steve stopped suggesting it. It didn’t help.

"He says it's better for me to concentrate if I'm not here but when I'm not here I can't concentrate at all! Everything reminds me of home and I get so...so... so..."

Grace's fingers looked like claws in the air as she searched for what this inky painful darkness in her stomach was. Steve, unfortunately, knew it like an old friend.

"Lonely?"

"Yes!"

"Kind of home sick?"

"Exactly!"

"Like you wish you'd never left at all, and that you can't really justify coming home to the people here because it was your choice to leave, and now you're full of regret?"

Grace stared at him for a beat. Her jaw hung open. Steve bowed his head. It dawned on her that maybe Steve had been feeling just as lost and alone as she was when she was away. If so, kicking up a fuss when he came back was another over reaction. 

"Uncle Steve..."

Steve wrinkled his nose and sat back in his chair, "Sorry, this isn't about me. Go on."

"I can't get five minutes to talk to Danno anymore. He can't keep the conversation on me either..." she sighed in defeat and let her arms swing to her sides, "I feel like I'm about to be put on a boat and shipped out alone Uncle Steve. What am I supposed to do?"

"Well..." Steve drew in a deep breath.

He had spoken to Mary about this and she had come to the conclusion that Danny wouldn't be pleased and Steve wouldn't be stopped so she wouldn't be involved.

Last night Steve had been fully convinced that Danny would do better than he was given credit for. That he would listen to his daughter immediately and put the world to right for her. The Danny he knew would. Of course the Danny he knew didn’t have full custody of two children and a dog, as well as a police task force to manage. Danny was juggling so many balls it was no wonder he was struggling.

And Steve had made a promise.

"You gave it your best shot. You talked to Danny. That was the deal right?"

Grace stared at him, awestruck. "You mean... you mean you'll do it?"

"I can't have you thousands of miles away already, we just became friends again. It's purely selfish," Steve promised.

Grace's smile grew slowly as his words sank it. He was going to help! She didn’t have to give up hope! Grace squealed with delight and darted forward to throw her arms around his middle. He tensed in surprise. Grace's hugs were warm and loving and he could feel his insides melting where her arms touched. Steve smiled warmly as he hugged her back, but it was the small giggle that turned his lungs to a puddle.

"I'm so glad you're home!"


	16. Chapter 16

The restaurant Danny found himself in was not exactly what he expected. The food was over priced and none of it had any kind of flare. The beer was warm and pretty flat too. It was dark, with wooden timbers across the ceiling and a large TV where a window should have been. The TV wasn’t currently on but the chalk scoreboard beside it announced the results of the last football game (Arsenal beat Tottenham 3:1 if that meant anything) so he assumed it was mainly used for sport. They were hidden away in a booth that had moth eaten red fabric across the seats and weren't exactly comfortable.

Danny had never heard of this place before but he had been to little British pubs in old forgotten corners of town that absolutely refused to change it's forty year old decor despite the brand new skyscrapers built around them. This place at least had hard wood floors instead of carpet so sodden with spilt booze, spit, possibly urine and old blood that it squelched when you walked. He imagined it was the kind of place a brit would go if they felt homesick. He wondered if Rachel had ever been here before.

"They've done well to make it look right but without that carpet to hold in the smell, it just isn't the same," Harry explained when Danny commented on it.

Danny arched an eyebrow, "You miss the smell of pubs? Isn’t it just alcohol?"

Harry almost gagged on his beer in his offence. It spilt onto his plate, soaking the pastry of his beef Wellington. Danny wasn’t entirely sure Harry would be able to taste the difference.

"No! No, no, Danny! No, it's more than that. It's alcohol, yes, but it's wood that been together so long its only rot holding it together, and dusty old seats that haven’t been cleaned in so long they still smell like cigarettes from when we could smoke inside, and the fire-" Harry groaned in nostalgic affections to recall the memories, "very little beats a good beer beside the fire at my old local. The Hell and High Water it was called. You could smell the roast beef halfway down the canal."

Danny wasn’t entirely sure how well that faired as a review. Back in New Jersey when he was a kid a garbage barge had caught fire. You could smell that from New York, it didn't make it nice. But he put on a smile anyway because it was nice to see Harry warm, even if it was about some old pub.

"Wow. Does that mean it was good?" He asked.

"It was better than that, it was beautiful. Truly. Even with Pete cooking. He was a much better barman than he was chef but his wife could _cook!"_

"How does this place hold up in comparison?"

Harry deflated a little at the question. This was the closest to Britain that he could get at this distance, and yet it wasn't really anywhere near the real thing. It wasn’t their fault. They tried. It's just that nationalistic bars in foreign countries are, by definition, foreign. Like a cover version of your favourite song, they put on a good show but they never fit the same.

"The food isn't fabulous, but it is homely," Harry explained, "as much as I love fine dining you can't beat pub grub."

Danny hummed dubiously as he recalled pub nights with Rachel's family in their local back in England. "I have heard that."

"It is especially true when you’re away," Harry said.

"I suppose you miss home comfort foods when you're far from it. When I first moved here I ate nothing but ma's frozen lasagnas for like a month," Danny smirked.

"Perhaps that's why Grace has taken to making poke," Harry suggested.

"You think she's homesick?" Danny asked.

"I think we all miss the people we love when we have to be apart," Harry nodded.

"That's what phones are for," Danny said, pointedly.

Harry rolled his head slightly, "Sometimes phones aren’t enough."

Danny eyed him cautiously. He questioned the softness in Harry's voice. The quiet sorrow under his words made his smile fade. There was something he wasn't saying. There seemed to be a lot of that going around recently. It lead to uncomfortable silences. Danny shifted awkwardly in his seat as he drummed his finger tips into the table. Harry sipped his beer. Danny gave him a weak smile.

"You got a little uh, a little moustache thing going there. Hold on I'll get it," Danny muttered.

He reached over to pick up the napkin and leaned across the table towards Harry's face. Harry pulled back away from him.

"I can wipe my own mouth Daniel," he rebuffed.

"No, I know, I was just..." Danny sank back into his seat, "never mind."

Harry hummed quietly as he picked up his fork. Danny threaded the napkin between his fingers as though it would bring any relief against the tension in the air. He watched Harry picking at his beef wellington but he hadn’t so much as touched his whitebait yet. He didn’t have the stomach for it. This was hardly the most romantic of places and Harry had hardly swept him off his feet to get him here. Clearly something was going on in the undercurrent that he couldn’t see. Or maybe he just didn’t want to. He cleared his throat slightly.

"I saw some bread pudding on the menu for dessert. Is that like an actual pudding or just a loaf of bread you English drizzled in honey and lemon or something?" He forced a laugh.

"Bread pudding is rather stodgy. Rather like a sponge with raisins. Very working class. I don't think you'd like it," Harry explained.

"Are you saying I'm not working class?" Danny snorted.

"I'm simply saying I don’t think that pudding is appropriate. Not right now at least," Harry stated.

Danny's smile faded but he held onto it stubbornly. "I've never heard of inappropriate dessert before."

"Have you heard of just desserts?" Harry asked.

Danny's mouth opened but he didn’t have an answer. Instead he put his hand on his chin and covered his mouth with his fingers. He even prodded at the batter on the whitebait to pretend he was going to eat any and that his stomach didn’t feel like a weight.

"It was a joke," Harry said, quietly. "Seems I still have a way to go with my dad puns."

Danny glanced at him momentarily before snatching his eyes away. _A joke_. He could kick himself for thinking it was somehow something more. Then again everything felt more loaded than it actually was at the moment. Everything felt like a small slight or a quiet dig at his expense. Everything felt like some passive aggressive reference to Danny and Steve. He couldn't take it anymore.

Harry had brought him here for a reason and they had to get on with it. They had to clear the air. He wasn’t sure he would be able to breathe properly until they did.

"Alright. The elephant in the room," he declared, slamming his fork down.

Harry lifted his head in surprise as Danny shifted again. He pressed his hands into his thighs where he could fiddle at the fabrics without being noticed. Harry wiped his mouth on his napkin and set down his fork. He was ready to settle this if Danny was. Danny drew a deep breath.

"I was going to tell you that Steve was back, I promise I was. I know that doesn't mean very much, especially now that you already know he’s back, but uh... He hasn't been back for long. He's not even back at work yet. And he's staying with his sister. It didn't seem important..."

It was a weak argument and Harry didn't believe it for a moment. That much was written across his face before he even spoke. "Oh come come Daniel! It didn't seem important to mention that the closest thing you have to an ex boyfriend has returned to your life? Really?"

Danny shifted his feet slightly and muttered, "It... It didn’t matter enough to affect us..."

Harry didn’t need to actually roll his eyes to show Danny that he wanted to roll them. In many ways that was worse. Then he sighed and shook his head slowly.

"I think it matters more than you think, dear boy," Harry said.

Danny's chin sank as he swallowed. He knew that on some level it probably meant something. Something that probably meant a lot. No one in a stable relationship, confident that it wouldn’t be shaken by an ex returning, would keep this secret. But it was also no secret that Danny had doubts about everything so really he had no idea what to make of it himself. He played innocent.

"In what way?"

Danny only raised his head long enough to steal a glance at Harry. Eye contact was beginning to feel difficult. Harry looked him up and down like he was trying to memorize the details of his face. Then he let out a long and heavy sigh and bowed his own head.

"I like you Daniel. I care about you."

Harry had a voice as multifaceted as chocolate. It could be rich, warm, full, sweet, dark, smooth, sickly, addictive or subtle. But when he spoke as quietly as he did now, it felt like death by chocolate. Danny felt his heart thud against his chest.

"Thanks? I care about you too..." Danny said cautiously.

"I care about you enough to know that I must be truthful with you. Even if it might hurt us both," Harry said, pointedly.

Danny's heart beat faster. "I didn't mean to lie about Steve. I really didn’t think he would stay-"

"This isn’t about Steve."

Danny blinked. His words died on his tongue. "Its - it's not?"

"No," Harry shook his head. He didn't even try to look up at Danny, even as he felt his eyes gaping at him. "You see... When Lady Helen found out that she was pregnant and I naturally wanted to do the right thing, she said no."

"I... okay?" Danny frowned.

"She said that she couldn’t marry me, and that she would return to her husband and raise our daughter as his, but that I could be as close as I wished. At the time it seemed like a cruel arrangement but I've come to realise that it was the kindest thing for all parties involved."

"It doesn't sound it."

"Lady Helen... Helen said that I was not the kind of man who could be domesticated. That whole husband, children, home by bedtime, quiet nights in playing scrabble - that's not me. Never has been. Helen knew that. Even back then she knew I couldn't ever be happy living like that... She knows me better than I do."

Danny's heart missed a beat at the present tense. Whatever this was about, it was still happening. It had been in the works for a long time and was finally coming to ahead. That meant it probably didn't include Danny.

"Sophie deserved the kind of father that would come home to read her a bedtime story and play with her little pigs in the bath. I would much rather wine and dine a diplomat in Monte Carlo while an associate of mine picks his pocket and all three of us wake up the next morning in rumpled silk sheets if you catch my drift," Harry said pointedly.

Danny felt his cheeks warm again as he muttered, "I think I prefer rumpling sheets one on one as it happens."

"Yes, I had gathered," Harry admitted.

Danny's ears grew hotter. He knew he wasn’t the most adventurous man in that department, but it didn't help that Harry was adventurous it _every_ department. If he thought that Danny just couldn't keep up...

"This isn't just because I wouldn't-"

"I'm getting to the point Daniel," Harry assured him.

Harry could cut him off so easily and he didn’t even raise his voice to interrupt. It made Danny feel a bit like a dog on a leash. He sank back into his seat, folded his arms and grumbled.

"Hurry up about it, by the time you finish beating around this bush you could do topiary."

"What I'm trying to say is that... well..." Harry sighed. His shoulders sagged. "I'm afraid that I can only ever be anchored down to one person. I can only devote my loyalties - I can only attempt domestication for one person..." Harry's eyes flicked back up to Danny’s, "And you and I both know who that person should be."

Danny's eyes widened as he finally realised exactly where this was heading. He didn’t like it. He didn’t like it one bit. There was only one person who mattered to Harry more than anything else in his life, or anything his life style could offer him.

"Sophie."

"Indeed."

Danny slumped slightly. Sometimes he hated being right. Harry gave him a slightly pained look. He could hide his feelings well but the eyes. The eyes were a give away. His heart ached as much as Danny's right now.

"Since she's ready to meet again, I rather must be getting back to London. I don't know when, or if, I'll ever be back. We have rather a lot of time to catch up on - to make up for... And now I'm retired I have the time to do so. I can't- I won't split my attention between there and here."

Harry set his hands on the table in front of them like the offer was final and binding. Still he waited for Danny to respond. Danny was still staring hard at the now cold whitebait on his plate. He was relieved he hadn’t eaten any because right now, he felt like he could throw up.

"Which means that.. when you go..."

"I won't be coming back. No."

Danny nodded slowly. "When do you go?"

Harry licked his lips. "In two days."

A stab to the chest. "Oh. Now I get why you said it had to be today or tomorrow. You won't be here after..."

There was a heavy silence between them for a moment as Harry gave him time to accept the problem placed before him. It felt like a vice in his chest to see the light dim in Danny's eyes.

"I need you to understand that if there was any other way I would stay. But I just can't," Harry urged.

"I understand..." Danny muttered.

Deep, deep down, he had known this was coming. Harry had to leave. He had always been open and honest about his intention to go back to England. But this felt far too early. This felt like giving up. Danny didn't want to give up. He didn't want to have to go to England either. He had done long distance before and it had sucked but... But giving up without a fight sucked more.

His gaze flicked up at Harry, "But that doesn't mean that we have to throw this whole deal out of the window does it? I mean, you'll be in England but we can call-"

"Daniel please," Harry grimaced.

"Rachel's there already, the kids could go with me and we could face down-" Danny continued.

"That's not a good idea," Harry interrupted.

"Then we could be long distant! We can do it!"

"Danny, I don't think-"

" _Love lasts distances_!"

Danny slammed his fist down onto the table between them with utterly desperate stubbornness. It made the cutlery clatter. Harry tensed slightly as he avoided a shifting fork. The sound rang out through the room, winning them attention that neither wanted. Harry glanced around to check who was looking their way for a moment. Whoever caught his eye quickly looked away. After a short silence, the other guests around them went back to their conversations. Harry looked over at Danny again. Danny's lungs burned. Just one look and he could read Harry's mind. He wished he couldn’t.

"Love lasts distances," Harry agreed calmly, "but distances breed paranoia and that breaks trust. We can't have a relationship without trust."

"You think I'd be paranoid?" Danny accused.

Harry's mouth twitched as he considered his words and thought better of them.

"Perhaps not, but I might be," Harry said.

"You don't trust me?" Danny accused.

"I do now. I'm just not sure that would last if in six months you're dodging my calls and I know Steve's just down the road," Harry's chest hurt just saying it.

Danny licked his lips. He knew he had a habit of hanging up on people he didn’t want to talk to, and a habit of not wanting to talk to people because the distance made him feel rejected. He could work on that. He would work on that. For Harry he would.

"What makes you think I'd avoid your calls?" He challenged.

Harry's face said it all and Danny's eyes dropped back to the table as his entire torso tensed. He moved his hand so his fingers brushed against Danny's.

"You've been hiding Steve from me right under my nose Daniel. I can only imagine what secrets you could hide on the phone. If you had something you didn’t want to say you just wouldn’t answer. It makes it very hard to talk to you," Harry explained quietly.

Danny pulled his hand away, "So this is about Steve?"

 _"No,"_ Harry stated firmly. Almost impatiently. Then his nose twitched and his shoulders sank and he sighed, "Not really. Not for me anyway."

That silence hung between them again. So many unsaid sentences that needed to be finished. Needed to be heard. They never would be. Danny slunk back again. He ran a hand through his hair as he let out a heavy, painful sigh. Since this was going that way anyway, he didn’t bother with excuses.

"It was hard. seeing him again. It was hard on me and my kids. Well, me and Grace anyway. Charlie... I wasn't trying to hide him. I just... I wanted to pretend he didn't exist. I wanted to forget him..."

Harry watched the fury and the sadness cross Danny's face as he bowed his head and closed his eyes. That hurt. Deep down, Harry had expected it. But it hurt.

"People have pasts Danny. I know that. Usually I can ignore them. But your past isn’t in the past, is he?" Harry asked softly.

Danny's heart felt like it was wrapped in concrete. He couldn’t lift his head to even look at Harry. "He just turned up... I thought something had happened to him and then... he just turned up... right at the wrong time..."

Harry's hand moved across the table to lay on top of his. Danny winced at the touch. As gentle and tender as it was, it was like fire scorching his skin.

"I understand," Harry insisted softly. "If you and I had a fair chance then this would be the wrong time for me to go to England. But deep down, I think we both knew we were heading this way."

Once again tears were blurring Danny’s eyes. "So someone else I care about is leaving me for a little grey island in the middle of nowhere?"

"I have to go," Harry stated.

"I have to stay," Danny argued.

He raised his head to glare at Harry and Harry felt his heart drop into his stomach. Danny's eyes announced his feelings even when the rest of his body didn’t match. And when he looked at Harry with that much heartache, Harry felt a wave of guilt crash over him. Instinct told him to take it back. To offer whatever false hope he could, just to ease the hurting. And he relied on those instincts to keep him alive.

"This doesn’t have to be our last moment Danny," Harry said. His hand squeezed Danny's, imploring him. "I do enjoy your company immensely and I do so very much enjoy that tie..."

Danny's face changed. He pulled his hand away again as his heart throbbed hard against the concrete in his lungs. Disdain filled his voice. "That's how you want to do this? One more quick fuck and then you disappear too, possibly forever?"

Harry fought hard to stop himself from wincing. "I assure you Danny that there is nothing quick about me. I like to take my time. To appreciate every facet of you, _intimately..."_

The purr usually worked, even as half hearted as this one, but Danny was not in the mood.

"But you're not denying you could be gone forever?"

Harry felt his stomach lurch. It was pretty much what he had expected the reaction to be, but he hated it. He hated toying with Danny like this. Out of everyone he had ever dated, Danny was one of only two he had almost lost his heart to. But his heart belonged to a little girl waiting for him in England. It was about time he joined it.

"I could leave you with one last memory," Harry muttered.

Danny scoffed in disgust. One last fuck, then gone forever. He wasn’t some cheap harlot to use and throw away! This wasn't a nameless, faceless body to use as stress relief and forget forever. This was _Harry._ What they had was deeper. There was affection. There was respect. Admiration. At least it had been...

Danny had felt all of that and more when he was with Harry. They had connected in a way Danny wasn’t sure he had with anyone before. He couldn't bare the idea of feeling all that one last time, knowing it would all be over forever when he was done.

Danny swallowed hard. "I... I really want to Harry. Like, I _really_ want one more night... But uh... I'm just not the hit it and quit it type. One night, knowing you won't be there when I wake up, it just... it's just not enough for me. I don't think I could let you go afterwards."

Danny waited. He wasn’t sure exactly what he was expecting. Part of him thought that Harry was going to scoff and just leave after being rejected. But Harry wasn’t like that. He didn't scoff. He didn’t even leave. He just tilted his head to the side and nodded.

"I understand. It's a shame. Really. We were good together I think. Not just in bed. We could have had so much, don’t you think?" Harry said quietly.

Danny ached harder. He really did think. But if he said that he was sure he'd cry. So instead he muttered miserably, "I didn't even get to have breakfast in the penthouse suite..."

The silence that followed titered on the edge of awkwardness. Both of them knew that any other time Harry would have leapt on that opportunity to drop a line. Make an offer. Reel him in. But not today. Not now. He couldn't... Danny couldn't stand the tension.

"We..." Danny cleared his throat to stop his voice shaking. "We crossed that line."

"Yes. Sorry. Entirely my fault, I should have held back-" Harry began.

"No... no, it takes two. And really, I wouldn't have had it any other way," Danny admitted.

Even though it hurt, Harry was actually rather relieved to hear that.

"Me neither. I just wish..." Harry trailed off in a way that he rarely ever did.

Harry wasn’t the kind of man who held onto the things that he wanted to forget. The things that brought him shame. He always did his best to make up for his short comings when he could, and let go of whatever else was dragging him down. He didn’t have room for more than one regret in his life and that space was well occupied. Even so, he knew these memories were always going to be tainted by that one, stupid question from now on.

What if?

Harry cleared his throat and smoothed his shirt as if he could shake everything off and carry on as usual. "Shall we finish our meals or would you prefer to be alone?"

"I..." Danny was at a loss for words. He didn't want to let Harry go, but it caused far too much pain to hold onto him. "Honestly Harry I really hope we can find our way back from this one day and that we can go back to being friends and nothing more, but... but right now I think I need to mourn the loss of what could have been. You go. I'll get a cab."

Harry's head drooped slightly in disappointment. He didn’t really want to leave. He wanted to spend whatever little time he still had left with Danny. But if Danny would prefer him to go then he wasn’t going to fight it.

"Can I at least kiss you goodbye?" He asked tentatively.

Danny blinked. He should have said no. He should have refused. But his skin was itching to be touched, and his jaw was desperate for one last chance to hold onto him, like it was the one last thing that might pull him back. So Danny nodded.

Harry stood up first and walked over to Danny. Danny stood up. He had to hold onto the table to stop his legs from collapsing underneath him. Harry's had ran up from Danny's wrist to his cheek. Danny gulped as he instinctively pushed against Harry's palm. When their eyes met both of them could see the pain in the others. Neither of them wanted this to end. Not like this.

Harry was so much slower and more tender than he had been before. He hesitated as his nose brushed against Danny's. Danny felt concrete in his lungs made his heart thunder harder. He could hear it thudding in his ears. Buh-dunk, buh-dunk, buh-dunk-

Harry brushed his lips against Danny's like he was trying to draw them out to meet him. Like he could be a magnet for Danny to latch against. He waited for Danny to close the gap.

Danny's chest throbbed as he screwed his eyes shut. One warm tear rolled down his cheek. He pushed his mouth against Harry's, closing the gap hard enough to knock against his jaw. His hands flew go Harry's ears to hold him steady as Danny's jaw latched onto him. Danny's mouth worked hard to try and lever Harry's open enough to get into. He tried. But Harry wouldn’t take it.

Harry's hands pressed onto Danny's hips as he tried to push away. It was barely noticeable. He didn't want Danny to let go. The longer this moment could last, the longer they were still together. The longer that flicker of hope that they could make things work somehow lasted.

But that hope extinguished when Harry finally broke away.

Danny sucked in his lips and tried hard not to release the sob clawing at his throat. He couldn't cry in front of Harry. Not now. Not even when he heard Harry gulp.

"One day someone is going to make you happy Danny. I truly hope that nothing else stands in your way," he said, earnestly.

If he thought he was being kind it did not help. Danny had been happy. Happier than he had in a long time. And now that happiness was leaving him too.

"Bye Harry. Good luck with Sophie. Choosing her over..." Danny’s breath shook dangerously. He steeled himself. "You’re gonna be a great dad."

Harry gave a bittersweet smile. "I’ve had an excellent teacher."

Harry's hand slid along the length of Danny's arm as he stepped back, until it was just his hand in his. Harry lifted it to his lips, pressed a small, parting peck against his knuckles, and let go. Danny's stomach hit the floor.

Harry didn’t look back as he left. Danny knew this because he was staring, hoping he would. But he didn’t. And Danny felt like he had been torn apart. This was worse than it had been since Rachel. There was no arguing to soften the detachment. It was just gone. He couldn't even remember how he'd survived that this time.

 _Grace,_ he remembered quickly, _I had to look out for Grace._

Trouble was he didn’t have that excuse to pull him through this time. Grace was a grown up. She had told him so. Or rather she had yelled at him so. Grace was mad at him. That memory sent another wave of agony through his already damaged nerves. Charlie, at least, would be happy. He had taken against Harry from the off. Because he had sided with _Steve_ over his own father.

Then again, why wouldn't he? Steve had been visiting Rachel to pick up Grace on Danny's behalf for years and he wasn't the kind of man who could ignore a child. Hell, he was there when Charlie was born! Stan had suddenly left, Danny had suddenly appeared, at least Steve was consistent.

Steve had also left.

He left right when Danny couldn't follow. He wasn’t there when Danny needed him most. He wasn't there until Danny was glad he wasn't. He was inconvenient. And he was ridiculous. And he was jealous. And he was protective. And he was everything he had always been, everything Danny had loved him for, and he had gotten into Danny's head and now Harry was gone.

Gone back to England.

_England._

A place that was damp and dreary and cold and grey and thousands of miles away. Just like Rachel. They had all left him behind. Why the hell had they all left him behind? What the hell was wrong with him that made people leave? Why the hell was he still here waiting for them to come back?

"What can I get you?" The barman asked with a smile.

Danny looked up in mild surprise. When he had gasped the side to hold himself up he hadn’t fully registered where he was standing. Some part of his mind had lured him over here, knowing it was where he needed to be. And the barman could clearly see that he needed something to silence the questions swirling in his head. He could silence the noise. The chatter that told him he wasn’t good enough. That told him Grace was happier with Rachel. That told him Charlie loved Steve more. That told him both Rachel and Harry were happier in the cold and the rain than in paradise if it meant being with him.

He wanted to drown it all out for a while and just be as numb as he felt.

"What's the strongest alcohol you’ve got?" Danny asked.

The barman eyed him cautiously. "Are you grieving a death or just drowning a heart break?"

"I'm drowning everything."

"I've got the perfect thing. You’re not driving are you?"

"He drove me here."

"I'll bring you the bottle."


	17. Chapter 17

_He's fine. He's fine. He's with Harry. He's fine. He'll be so pissed at you for coming all this way and ruining his night again. He just hasn’t noticed the time is all. He's fine. His phone has died. So has Harry's. He's fine..._

The internal commentary trying to convince himself that Danny was fine and Grace was worrying over nothing turned into nothing but swearing as he approached the penthouse suite. If Danny really was fine then he really was going to be _pissed._ But Grace was concerned when she phoned him. He had somehow managed to ease her nerves but he knew it wouldn't work on his own. He had to see Danny, alive and unharmed in the flesh, to accept that he was okay. And if that annoyed him then Steve would just have to accept that. He could do it. Danny already hated him.

Which is why Steve bit his lip so hard and shifted like he was buzzing after knocking on the door. He heard Harry call out from inside, followed by some quiet clattering. Steve hated the way his mind instantly questioned what caused it. Suspicion latched onto him every time. Nine out of ten times this delay was someone hiding something. Just what Harry and Danny had to hide, Steve didn’t want to know. Harry opened the door a crack, and widened it when he recognised Steve.

"Oh. It's you."

He looked no more thrilled to see Steve than Steve did to see him. He had put on his dressing gown and tied it shut but only loosely. The amount of skin still on display was blindingly obvious. Steve did all he could not to glance down. A few weeks ago he wouldn’t have resisted. By the smell of alcohol around him, Harry wouldn't have remembered if he even cared. Harry wasn’t the type of man to be offended by anyone admiring his body, no matter their gender. But now Steve could see a vaguely purple spot on his collar that had faded but still made Steve's blood boil.

"Harry. Where's Danny?" He demanded.

Harry looked pained for a second as he leaned against the door. "He asked me to leave him at the bar. He said he'd get a cab home. Is he not there?"

That was not the answer that Steve had expected and it gave his nerves no relief whatsoever. "Grace said no. He's not answering his phone. She's worried-"

"Because it's past his curfew, yes. I may have broken a promise there. Do tell her I apologise even if it wasn’t technically my fault," Harry urged.

"Tell her yourself, or better yet Danny can tell her. Danny!" Steve called.

He waited, listening intensely for any kind of quiet noise. Any sign at all that Harry was not alone. None came. When he frowned harder, Harry hummed.

"Like I said, he's not here."

"What bar did you leave him in?" Steve spat

"That little British pub on the North shore. I can't remember the name. I'd offer to drive you there but uh, I'm afraid I'm incapacitated," Harry apologised.

He swayed as his spoke and so did his robe. Steve recoiled at the wave of fumes that hit him, just in time to catch a glimpse of movement beneath Harry's gown. Old curiosities stung in his mind, satiated at finally being answered. Whatever part of his mind that had been silently comparing himself to Harry, trying to weigh up the possibility of beating him in some way, were screeching in his head. They fed into his fury.

"Intoxicated more like," he spat, "did you leave Danny at the bar or just drink him with it?!"

It was not his most articulate insult but Steve's mind was working overtime worrying about Danny and being deeply offended that Harry existed so coming up with any insults at all was something.

Harry didn't look offended though. He didn’t even look hurt. He just shrugged. "I'm simply nursing a wounded heart. I imagine he's doing the same."

It was such a simple sentence and yet it sent so many factors and so many meaning and implications off in Steve's head. Too many. When trying to process just what that could mean, Steve's mind went blank.

"What?"

Harry closed his eyes at the disbelief in Steve's voice. He genuinely couldn't understand what he was hearing. Harry could sympathize. He genuinely couldn't believe he had to say it.

"Danny and I broke up tonight."

"What? Why? Are you insane?"

"I'm not insane. Believe me it wasn't a choice."

Steve recoiled at the bitterness. The bite in his words were heavy with implication that Steve could only find one reason for.

"Oh God this isn't my fault too is it?" He groaned.

Harry's face twisted from offence to amusement so quickly that his mouth just hung open for a while before he found it in himself to laugh. "Your arrogance is astounding! You really believe that the world revolves around you don’t you? Just because you broke his heart once doesn’t mean every other time is related to you y'know."

Steve flinched as he clenched his jaw. "I don't think that. And I didn't break his heart-"

Harry scoffed, "If you believe that then you're dumber than you look."

Steve scowled ,"I- I didn’t - we weren't- how was I even supposed to know?!"

Harry stared at him, almost in wonder as he shook his head. "Y'know Steven, sometimes when I listen to you talk about how ignorant you are I wonder at how you ever made it so far in Naval intelligence because you clearly don’t have any."

Steve scowled furiously and snapped back, "As opposed to British Intelligence which hired you, a man who couldn't even see when he had a good thing going that he should have valued?!"

Harry's shoulders tensed for a second before he said, "I could say the same thing about you."

"Yeah but I did it first which means you saw my mistakes and still copied them!" Steve huffed.

Harry snickered to himself. "Again I could say the same thing about your whole country copying my little damp, cold, grey island all the way across the sea-"

Harry waved his hand in the air like waves rolling across the sea and Steve rolled his eyes heavily. This was getting him no closer to finding Danny.

"You're too drunk to be useful," he stated.

Before he could turn to walk away, Harry said, "Perhaps Danny is still at the bar, why don’t you use those wonderful skills that that pretty girl who works with you has so you can find him?"

Steve rolled his eyes again. He had had the same idea already. Tani would be able to track down Danny's phone in moments and text the location to Steve even faster and end the worrying instantly. There were just two small problems. Firstly, he didn’t want to cause any more worry than he already had. Danny was probably just fine this time. Even though last time he had assumed Danny was just fine and off relaxing somewhere he was actually staggering home from a car crash covered in his and someone else’s blood. Tani had every right to worry if she found out he was missing again. But thankfully that was avoided by problem two.

"Because it's two am, anyone who's anyone is in bed, exactly where they want to be-" Steve's eyes widened, "oh!"

Harry perked up, amused, "Ah! A brainwave! Evidence that you have one to rival the countless evidence that you don’t!"

He sounded slightly impressed which was even more grating to Steve who scowled at him again.

"Shut up. I think I know where he could be," he said.

"You sure you wont come in for a drink before you go?" Harry offered.

Steve frowned, "With you?"

"Aren’t we friends?"

"We're _rivals."_

"We may have been once but like I said, Danny and I broke up," Harry corrected.

His amusement fell away now. Honestly he looked so utterly disappointed that some part of Steve sympathised with him. They had been friends once, and Steve didn’t like seeing anyone he cared about upset. Even if it was a crush stealing limey traitor.

"What happened?" Steve asked quietly.

Harry closed his eyes again and bowed his head. "I... I had to hurt him and I have no intentions of ever doing so again."

 _"Good,"_ Steve said, firmly.

"Unlike you," Harry's eyes snapped open again.

Steve felt his cheeks heat up guiltily at the accusation. The flash of pain that came with knowing he had a secret Danny would be furious about hurt more than the pain at the idea of Danny being here.

Defensiveness sparked in his gut as he spat, "You have no idea what my intentions are."

Harry snorted. "You came back to this island and your first act was to give up your home to a man who didn’t want you in it. _Everyone_ knows your intentions."

Steve opened his mouth to argue. Harry's eyebrows perked up, curiously waiting to see what he would say. He had nothing. Steve screwed his fists into balls and scowled at the floor at another rush of guilt surged through him. He sighed.

"You’re not like me Harry," he said, quietly. "I hurt him _and_ the kids. My intentions are to find a way to get _them_ to forgive me. Grace and Charlie mean the world to me and I won't ever be able to get back the time I missed with them. That's on me. I need to fix that. But Danny? Danny's moved on."

Harrys face fell into disappointment. "Oh. More evidence against a brain. Shame, you were doing so well."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Steve spat.

Harry's chest was aching like someone had snapped his ribs again, and the alcohol was making his brain feel like he was on a boat bobbing on the ocean. They said that he should feel smug. That he should be pleased that Steve was still too ignorant to see what was under his nose. That if he couldn't be with Danny then it was better that no one could and they could all be miserable and life would be fair.

But dammit, his heart went out to Steve. Broken and fractured as it was. Harry had missed out on his daughter's life and all he wanted was to make up for that time, whatever it took. Steve wanted that too. He would give up Danny as long as he could keep them. After all, the hurt he caused was clearly unforgivable to him.

Usually Harry would walk away and stay out of their business. Whatever they did was their problem. Their happiness was in their own hands, and misery loved company. But Harry still cared about Danny, he always would, and he wanted him to be happy. If any part of him was still as endlessly in love with Steve as it so clearly was, he deserved the chance to see what they could lead to.

 _Danny_ deserved that. Steve didn't. Steve would have to earn it.

"Second chances are a rare and wonderful thing in this world Steven and you’ve had more than your fair share. If you waste this one I'll come back here to put you on your arse is that clear enough for you?" Harry asked, drily.

Steve stared at him for a moment before huffing and shaking his head in frustration. "This is useless. I’m gonna go find Danny!"

"Good luck. Please let me know if you do, I'm sure I'll be awake. I'm trying to shift my body clock back to Greenwich Meridian before I land," Harry said.

_I know you, Doris. I'm probably the only person that ever has._

_Oh, so it's Doris now?_

_I know things about Carmen Lucia that you don't know, all right? I've seen her victims, I've read the files._

_Why are you so arrogant to think that I didn't do my research? That I don't know as much as you do? How do you think I've gotten this far?_

Steve was getting really sick of being endlessly reminded of Doris these days. This was what he left to get away from. Steve had taken one more step before Mary's voice was in his head. _You said you should call him. You said he was a good guy. You thought that long before he ever "betrayed" you, which he didn’t even do. Man up and say goodbye to your friend!_ Steve's stomach ached. He could defy his mother, but not her. Not Mary. He glanced back over his shoulder.

"You're really leaving?" He asked quietly.

Harry nodded, "I'm really leaving."

Steve ran a hand across the back of his neck. "I wish I had known... Maybe we could have hung out again..."

"I doubt that would have gone well," Harry said.

"Probably not, but... well we were friends once. It could have been interesting," Steve said, quietly.

Harry gave a low chuckle of amusement, "Come come Steven. We weren't friends. We were rivals."

Steve blinked at him. It took him by surprise how disappointing he found that. Harry was a good man. He was fun. Funny. Carefree. Reckless. Smooth. In another life, maybe they could have been friends. Maybe if Danny wasn’t involved they could have been more. It seemed a shame that for all the similarities they shared, it was the thing they both loved that drove them apart.

"Still, I wish you luck. I hope you treat him how he deserves."

Harry did not say anything more before shutting the door in Steve's face. Steve frowned hard as he tried to understand what the hell Harry had been implying. He quickly shook it out of his head and remembered the task in hand.

Danny was heart broken. Probably home sick. Definitely sad. There was only one place on this entire island he could be.

...

Danny didn’t need to turn to know who's truck had pulled up by the side of the road. He could recognise that engine a mile away. Every time he heard it, it made his blood pressure rise. He quietly raised his bottle to his lips as he listened to the door slam and the gravel crunch under foot. Steve quietly breathed a sigh of relief to have found him. He dropped Grace a text, just to let her know. Maybe now she could get some sleep.

"Don’t you know its illegal to drink from an open container in public?" Steve said.

"What ya gonna do, arrest me?" Danny muttered.

"Probably not," Steve allowed, "You could probably arrest me for worse."

Danny scoffed. He could definitely arrest Steve for worse. Steve heaved himself up onto the edge of the wall to sit beside Danny. He should have expected him to find him here. There were only two people on the island who knew about his affinity with this spot and Grace was busy looking after Charlie.

Steve let out a long sigh as he looked out over his island. The land rose and fell like the waves on the ocean in the distance. It was dark tonight. The only light they could see by were the beams of the trucks headlights shining down on them. That and the millions of stars crammed up in the inky black sky over the endless black water. Down below, under the stomach squeezing drop, the trees and bushes swayed in the gentle breeze, rustling their leaves like maracas. Even on a moonless night like this, the light was beautiful.

It was breath taking. Even on a moonless night like this, the light was beautiful. This island was beautiful. No matter how many times he and Danny sat here, staring out across their home, it never failed to be stunning.

Danny was leaning a little heavily against Steve from the moment he sat down. It was mostly for balance. He had been swaying when he was alone. Steve dare not hold onto him, even for safety, but he stayed as rock solid as he could, ready to catch Danny if he slipped. So when Danny tilted his bottle towards him in offering, Steve held up a hand to refuse.

"None for me thanks, I'm driving."

Danny's shoulders slumped slightly. "You’re driving?"

"Yeah. You. Home. To your kids who are worried sick," Steve said, pointedly. Danny groaned to himself. He didn't mean to worry anyone. "They've got half the island out looking for you. Well they would if I hadn't taken the call first."

"I dropped my phone... goofy thumbs... Grace's gonna be so mad..." Danny muttered.

He gestured vaguely downwards so Steve leaned to see where he was pointing. Sure enough Danny's phone had smashed onto a ridge a little way down the cliff. No wonder he wasn’t answering any calls. Tani would have been no help after all.

Steve gave a low whistle and leaned back to hold onto the stone wall beneath them. He didn’t like the way that Danny was kicking his legs out like fear didn't exist in him anymore. Maybe he had drowned it. Maybe Steve had just absorbed it. He was worrying enough for both of them, but he didn’t want Danny to know that.

"You phoned her right? I don't want her to worry," Danny muttered. 

"I did."

"Good."

Typical. Of course Steve had stepped up for Grace when Danny couldn't. Ignoring the last eighteen months, he was always there when she needed someone. He had been this week too, when Danny allowed Harry to bully him away from home. Steve had stepped up, for no reason other than loving those kids. In his drunken state, Danny was powerless to feel anything but endeared. 

"I haven't been to this spot in years. Not since the last time you disappeared on me," Steve nudged him gently.

Danny groaned again. He didn’t want to think about how Steve stayed close even after what had happened with Matt. That had been a very confusing time. Save one thing that was crystal clear. But Danny didnt want to think of that either. Instead he raised the bottle to his lips. It was sloshing loudly. The bottle was large and fat, almost as long as his forearm, and it was nearly empty.

"You're gonna be so hungover tomorrow," Steve said.

Danny gave a half groan, half laugh, and nodded in agreement. For a moment or two Steve wasn’t so sure Danny still had the ability to speak. He licked his lips nervously and tapped his toes against Danny's as they dangled in the air.

"What happened? Wanna talk about it?"

Steve really hoped he didn't. Honestly he just wanted to haul Danny back into the truck, drive him safely home, drop him on his bed and leave. That was the safest thing to do. The easy thing. That was what made everyone content. But he couldn't bare seeing Danny in distress. If it took listening to him talk about another man to make that go away, Steve would take it on. He would take on anything for Danny.

Danny let out a long, heavy, aching sigh that made Steve's heart throb just to hear it. It made it worse to hear him breath into the wind:

"I guess I’m just not the kind of person people stay with..."

Steve ached. He shook his head and muttered back, "Don’t say that."

"Why not its true," Danny scoffed disdainfully. "Rachel came to Hawaii to get away from me, and then left Hawaii for England. Before her Brooke left me because I couldn’t leave New Jersey for her. Chin always said this island calls you home but he's gone. Kono's gone. Lori's gone. Abby's gone. Matty's gone. _You_ left... Grace..."

"Grace doesn’t count."

Steve practically barked that. The tightness in his chest was pulled harder so he couldn’t breathe at the idea of it. Danny looked a little guilty. 

"Yeah I know... I didn't mean that..."

Danny could be mad at anyone he liked for leaving, but not Grace. Not when she was trying so desperately to come home. Steve wouldn't allow that. And Danny looked slightly guilty that he had even suggested it. He sighed again and ran a hand through his hair, messing it up as he went. Then he left it messy. Steve's stomach dropped. This was serious.

"People don't stay with me. Why not? What's so bad about me? Why do they leave?"

"I don't know Danny," Steve said earnestly. "I wish I did. I don't understand how anyone could not fall in love with you every time you smile like I-"

Steve snatched the words out of his throat before they ever formed. He glanced towards Danny to see if he'd noticed. If he had he was too drunk to show it.

"Give it time. you'll find someone who will stay," he finished assuredly.

Danny scoffed, "Sure. Right up until they leave too."

"Then they'll come back to you. They will," Steve stated.

Danny wrinkled his nose and shook his head. He didn’t believe him. He couldn't. He had no proof.

"I'm a weight. Concrete shoes, dragging people down..." Danny muttered miserably.

"You're an anchor. You keep people stable," Steve argued defiantly.

"Anchors drag people down too," Danny argued back.

"But not you!" Steve stated.

Danny just scoffed again. He pressed the bottle to his lips and looked surprised that it was empty. Steve wrinkled his nose. If Danny was this drunk already and that bottle was empty, he really didn’t want to be this close to a cliff edge.

"Why don’t I take that?" He said.

Danny was reluctant to let go of the bottle, even empty, but he allowed Steve to peel his hand away. For a split second after he freed the bottle, it was just the two of them, holding hands, over looking the island. It might have been nice if they weren't so desperately miserable.

"I'm going to die alone," Danny declared.

"No you're not," Steve sighed.

"I am. I'm going to die alone and the only people who will care are Five-O and my kids. Junior and Adam and Lincoln and Lou will have to carry my coffin because Matt cant and Charlie's too short," Danny decided.

Just the idea of losing Danny sent a horrible chill through Steve's bones that he couldn’t stand.

"Alright shut up now. Shut up, you're not going to die over a break up okay, and even if you did you’re not alone. I'm here. Right here, right now, I am here, so you're not alone," he huffed.

Danny tilted his head to eye Steve cautiously. "How do I know you wont abandon me again?"

Steve swallowed hard. He looked down at his hands, circling his thumbs around each other quietly as he did. "Because that is the single biggest regret of my life. And my life is pretty much just regrets."

"You do make some pretty stupid choices," Danny chuckled.

He didn't seem to notice the weight in Steve's shoulders. If he did, he didn’t comment on it. Steve forced a smile, but it actually hurt to do so.

"Yeah, I choose you didn't I?" He smirked.

Danny bowed his head. "You did once. But that was a long time ago..."

Steve licked his lips. He glanced across to Danny's hands. If he thought he could get away with reaching out he would. But he didn't want risk upsetting Danny anymore than he already had so he pressed his hand into his lap to stop himself from trying.

"Then I choose you again now," Steve said, firmly.

Danny could feel the liquid sloshing in his stomach. It wasn’t that that made him feel queasy though. Steve said things so easily. Especially for someone who couldn’t bring himself to tell women he loved them, even when he did. Steve himself had told Danny he didn’t like vulnerability. That he found it hard to open up, even in therapy. But he opened up to Danny without any effort. Without any prying. Because Steve trusted Danny endlessly. Danny felt a wave of guilt that he couldn't trust him back so blindly. At least he couldn't anymore. He grumbled to himself.

"I don't want to talk about this," he muttered.

He shifted as he spoke and Steve instinctively latched onto of him to hold him up and away from the edge. His voice went down a pitch as he tried too hard to sound calm.

"Okay, how about we go to the car huh?" He said.

"No, I don't want to go home yet either. The kids can't see me like this," Danny grumbled, pushing him away.

Steve's grip tightened as his heart rate rocketed. Danny couldn’t even see the danger anymore. Steve swung his legs back to the safe side of the wall, but kept a tight hold on Danny.

"We won't go home, we can just sit this way-"

Steve tried to tug him back towards the safer side too, but Danny struggled to get away from him.

"Steve, no! Just go, just let me be miserable," he grumbled.

Steve's heart thumped harder as Danny shifted closer to the drop. He couldn't let him fall.

"Fine, let's go get a drink!" He urged.

Danny paused. Steve almost cried out in joy. He shuffled backwards closer to the safer side as he turned to face Steve.

"A drink?" He repeated.

Steve's eyebrows shot up. If that was what it took to get Danny away from here, Steve wouldn't fight it.

"Yeah! You and me. Misery likes company right?" He forced a grin.

Danny gulped. "Just... just you and me?"

"Just like old times," Steve nodded.

Steve was so close to hooking an arm around Danny’s middle to haul him down off of the wall that Danny suddenly became very aware of his hands on him. He shifted back over the wall to face him. Steve's grin widened as the relief rushed through him. Danny pushed his arm away though.

"Steve, I _just_ broke up with Harry."

Steve's face fell. Did Danny really think so little of him that he thought he would try to take advantage of his vulnerability? As much as that hurt, Steve let it go. It was more important to him to keep Danny safe.

"As friends. Just friends," He promised.

Danny hummed dubiously and reeled back again. Steve's shoulders sagged. Any more distance between the two of them didn’t feel possible anymore. They had been close. Very close. Closer than almost anyone else on Five-O. They were partners. Even if he had lost that they could still be friends. Besides, Danny was drunk. He needed someone.

"C’mon, I was your best friend for ten years man, I cant leave you like this," Steve said.

Danny frowned. "I thought you were driving."

"I am. I'll stay sober. And I promise I wont let you do anything you'll regret," Steve promised.

Danny frowned hard. He hummed to himself. Logic said that this was a bad idea. Going to get drunk with the closest thing he had to an ex-boyfriend after a break up probably wouldn't end well. But it was _Steve._ And he was right. They had been best friends for years. There were only two people in the world he had ever cared about more. And Steve was fun. He had always been fun. Infuriating, of course, dangerous too, but _fun._

Danny felt a wave of nostalgia crash over him. Maybe it was that warmth in his gut or just the alcohol drowning his fears but Danny shrugged.

"Okay."

"Okay?" Steve repeated in surprise. His smile grew as Danny nodded, "really?! That's great!"

"Just as friends though. Just friends," Danny warned.

Steve's hand flew to his heart and he raised the other in pledge, "just friends, nothing more. You wont regret anything in the morning."

It was his most solemn vow. And he would keep it no matter what it took. One night out with Danny was his one last chance to remind him that they had been friends. That they could still be friends. Best friends. All Steve could ask for was his best friend back in his life for good. He would not mess this up. Besides, he had already promised Grace that he would keep Danny safe at all times. He couldn’t let her down again.

"Alright then what are we waiting for?" Danny shrugged.

He staggered forward and almost tripped immediately. Steve reached out to catch him, but Danny found his balance before he was needed.

"You need help walking?" Steve asked.

Danny scoffed and pushed Steve away from him. "No."

Steve stepped back as Danny pulled himself upright. He looked like a marionette held up by strings. Steve stayed one step behind, ready to catch him if he fell, but smiled in amusement to see him go. He was honestly a little impressed by the sheer stubbornness holding Danny up. Danny gave him a smug grin as he reached the door.

"You gonna be a gentleman or an ape?" Danny challenged.

Steve snorted. Danny's insides warmed. There was that smile. That stupid, rakish, sunshine smile that made his eyes light up like everything good in the world existed in him and he couldn't see it. Danny loved that smile. Steve stepped forward, held Danny's stubborn gaze as he leaned on the wheel arch watching, and yanked the door open for him. And then, with a little more cockiness than necessary, he bowed low at Danny's feet.

"Your highness."

Danny's tongue stretched his cheek from the inside as his eyes sparkled. Steve's cheeks ached as he tried to hold back the beam that wanted to radiate its way out of him. There was smug arrogance to Danny's stubbornness. The playful teasing was always edged in by his cockiness. Steve had missed this.

"I could get used to you kneeling at my feet," Danny snorted.

Steve's stomach clenched as his eyes widened. Danny seemed unphased. Steve licked his lips. He put it down to the alcohol. Even so his poor beaten heart was giving it everything it had to keep him breathing.

"Just get in the car," Steve stated.

Danny snickered as he passed Steve by and climbed into the passenger seat. Steve shut the door for him. He took a slow deep breath to try and find more oxygen for his lungs. It was starting to feel a little thin out here.


	18. Chapter 18

Steve pulled up under a street light so he could keep an eye on his truck. It was incredibly expensive to park overnight in the touristy part of town so down here it was littered with cars that wouldn't be looked at until the morning so it was a bit of a hot spot for robberies. He was confident that no one was really going to rob a beaten up old rust bucket like his truck unless they were desperate anyway, but he also knew too many desperate people. With the gun chest under the drivers seat as well he didn’t want to risk it falling into the wrong hands.

"I know you don't like the beach but last call was an hour ago and I have no idea which clubs are licenced-"

Steve was cut off by the sound of the door slamming shut. He looked up. Danny's head was still visible through the window as he held onto the truck for support. In the time it took him to undo his seatbelt and reach the back of the vehicle Danny was already on the sand. Steve followed as quickly as he could, but he was a lot more careful than Danny. He kept an eye out for any stray baby turtles that needed help heading to the ocean. It was driven into him to always keep an eye out for them around this time of the year. By the time he finally caught up with Danny, he was standing barefoot in the shallows. Steve frowned. He glanced back along the beach. There were no sign of any shoes. Steve opened his mouth to speak but Danny had a more pressing question.

"Have you ever had sex outside Steve?"

Steve stopped breathing. He had no idea what Danny was asking or implying or whatever the hell he was doing but it stopped him functioning. It took him a moment to kick back into life.

"Um, yeah," he said, sheepishly, "Yeah I have. There's not a lot of inside spaces you’re allowed to fuck in in the navy."

"Oh."

That was all he said. And there wasn’t enough influence to it for Steve to figure out what he thought about that. If he had to pick one, he might have gone for disappointed, but it made no sense to him why Danny would possibly be disappointed by that answer.

Silence lingered between them for a moment, but it was nothing more than that. Just a moment of quiet. Steve's mind was whirling. Danny just stayed still, looking out to the ocean like he was waiting for someone to meet him here. For a moment Steve thought the conversation was over. It wasn't.

"Have you ever had sex in the ocean?" Danny asked.

Steve's heart beat faster. He hadn't had sex in the ocean, but he had in a pool once. Given Danny's reaction to the last answer though, he wasn’t about to give up that information without some in return.

"Why?" He asked.

"Harry wanted to have sex in the ocean," Danny simple stated.

"Oh... "

Now that time the disappointment was clearly audible. Steve bowed his head slightly as he said it. His eyes stayed on Danny's bare feet as the foam of the waves wrapped around his ankles.

"I take it you’re over your fear then?" Steve said.

"I'm not afraid of the ocean!" Danny snapped. "I'm just... respect of it. There's a difference."

"Right."

Steve's smile curled up at his lips despite himself. Danny's reactions never changed. That eased the disappointment of knowing he hadn't been the one to jump that particular hurdle with him.

"And fucking in the ocean, that's not respectful. That's disrespectful," Danny huffed. Steve's head snapped up. Danny didn't even pause before continuing, "Ever seen Shrek 2?"

Steve blinked. He was beginning to wonder if this conversation had a thread or if Danny was just drunk and rambling.

"The ogre movie?" He asked.

"They're on the beach kissing and then the tide comes in and washes Fiona away. I don't want to be washed away, I leave the swimming and stupidity to you," Danny said.

"Thanks for that," Steve muttered.

"That movie's got a great soundtrack though. Great soundtrack. I'm not sure - what are you doing?"

Steve had taken a step backwards when the waves started to reach him, but Danny hadn't moved. Now Steve had taken it upon himself to move Danny. His hand had simply brushed against Danny's, ready to lead him gently backwards. But despite Danny being seemingly unaware of the water pooling into the cool sand at his feet, he was hyper aware of Steve's gentle touch.

"Walk with me. If you stand there too much longer your feet will sink deeper into the sand and you'll get sand all down your legs and blame me tomorrow," Steve explained.

He offered his arm just to help Danny to stay upright on the uneven sand. In his condition he could easily eat a big one without actually being on a surfboard. But Danny stumbled backwards, frowning uncertainly and Steve had to lunge forward to stop him from falling. He honestly wasn’t sure what would be worse, Danny plummeting off that cliff or Danny tripping face first into the sea. He could imagine an equal sized explosion from Danny at either of them.

Steve simply held out his hand to Danny, in offering. It was his choice to take it. When he gave Steve a quizzical look he said, "Nothing to regret, remember?"

Fortunately a drunk mind knows what it needs and Danny's knew he needed something to keep him upright. He took Steve's hand. Steve smiled. The first couple of steps were hesitant. Steve had to wait for Danny to reach his side again so they could walk together instead of Steve leading him along. Once he had though, they easily fell in step again. They were usually in sync.

Satisfied that this was simply helpful and not some attempt at stealing his broken heart back, Danny leaned against Steve's arm with his own.

For stability.

Just stability.

Not because Steve's arms were well toned and he was so warm even though Danny felt so cold.

Honestly how do you even feel cold in Hawaii because it's always really hot and he was from New Jersey, which was always freezing so he shouldn’t have even been able to feel the cold at all, in fact only his feet were cold he was actually feeling pretty hot, Steve was really, really hot - not even just sexy hot he was hot to touch hot and now Danny was feeling pretty hot under collar too and if Steve could sense that heat radiating off of him then-

Danny's mind switched sharply when he heard a familiar song from his youth that made him gasp eagerly.

**You're playing! so cool! Obeying every rule! Dig way down, in your heart! You're _burning, yearning_ for some - Somebody to tell you! That life ain't passing you by!**

He wasn’t sure where it was coming from. It could have been a club across the road or that group of tourists down the beach with the portable speaker- no okay it was definitely that group of tourists with the loud speaker. Only tourists and drunk people disregarded local law like this. Danny should know he was a cop. But also, he was drunk.

Danny let go of Steve's hand and sucked in air like he had found the greatest thing in existence.

 _"Ahhh!_ I love this song!" He beamed.

He staggered forward to dance a little in front of Steve. Steve smiled despite the disappointment of no longer holding Danny’s hand as they walked along the beach by moonlight. The smile soon became more genuine because Danny's dancing was atrocious. If you ignored the fact that he was drunk and slipping on sand it was still bad. Steve had seen him dance sober. It wasn’t so bad. His dance skills always slipped when he was drunk. Then again, he always looked happier dancing drunk.

"Y’know where I was a kid I fully thought I could be john Travolta," Danny grinned.

"What?!" Steve laughed.

"Yeah man, look at me!" Danny held out his hands to display himself as if Steve didn’t know exactly how he looked from almost every angle possible. "Back in Jersey with my leather jacket and my sexy black hair-"

Steve threw his head back and howled, "You did _not_ dye your hair black!"

"I did!" Danny beamed, "I did, I uh, I did the whole routine y’know? Fully got into it too, I coulda been up there with him-"

Danny put one hand on his hip and stuck out the other and its opposing leg like he was at a disco. Steve clapped as he laughed, watching Danny point his arm back and forth across his body.

"You know this is Footloose right?!" Steve grinned

Danny frowned, "Huh?"

"Footloose? Kevin Bacon? You’re thinking of Saturday Night fever," Steve said.

Danny scoffed and waved a hand like it didn’t matter, "Ah whatever I could do it too!"

"So I see," Steve grinned.

Danny kept dancing and stumbling across the sand, enjoying himself as he went. He sang badly at the top of his lungs as he went and he didn’t care who heard. There was no rules or responsibilities here. Just music and sand and Steve. Although the sound of Steve laughing felt like music. It felt like a song he had played on repeat for months and then forgotten all about and hearing it again brought back all the memories. All the good times. All the good times...

**Don't you! Forget about me! Don't, don't, don't, don't!**

"Ahhh!" Danny cried in delight as he recognised the start of the next song.

Steve threw his head back and laughed harder as Danny beamed up at the night sky above them, with no regard to his own volume. It was always amazing to see respected cop and devoted father Danny Williams just step back and let go of everything for a while.

"Before you start this is the breakfast club. I don’t even want to know what you think it is!" Steve cried.

His laughter rang through the air and echoed back to him. It took him a moment to realise that he was the only one he could hear. Steve looked back at Danny. He had stopped singing and he had stopped dancing. He was just standing there, swaying drunkenly, and looked down at the sand. Steve's face fell.

"Danny?"

Danny didn't respond. Steve picked his way across the sand over to him. As he got closer he heard Danny sniffing hard. He felt his lungs collapse.

"Danny are you crying?"

Danny didn’t reply. Steve edged round to try and get in front of him. Danny kept staring at the sand, even as the tears rolled down his cheeks.

"I don't want to be forgotten Steve..." Danny croaked.

Steve's heart shattered, "Hey, come here."

Danny didn't move but he allowed Steve to pull him closer. Steve's mind offered him a single path of action and with no alternative he followed it blindly. Steve peeled off his thin jacket and wrapped it around Danny's shoulders to comfort him. Danny swayed to allow him to. He had to lift his chin when Steve tugged it across his chest. That showed Steve the tear streaks across his pink cheeks and Steve's stomach ached. He moved on instinct, remembering what he had witnessed in Spain. 

Both he and Danny reeled back in surprise at the kiss planted on the tip of his nose. They stared at each other for what felt like a lifetime before Danny choked out:

"What did you just do?"

Steve's cheeks were burning red as he bowed his head sheepishly. "Sorry. I thought you'd stop crying."

Danny stared at him, breathless. He absolutely froze. He had no idea how to process what had just happened. But in Steve's defence, it stopped him crying.

It also made him recalculate.

Danny looked out around him. It was dark. It was cold. He was wet, covered in sand, and exhausted. So exhausted. When the aching hit him again, it cut deeper than ever. He couldn't tell if it was heartbreak or just guilt that he didn't feel as heartbroken as he thought he should have. Especially when Steve was around.

"I wanna go home," he muttered.

It was barely more than a whisper but in the still quiet of the night around them, it was more than loud enough. Steve's chest ached with guilt, but he nodded.

"Okay. Let's go."

In the truck Danny stared out of the window watching the island pass him by. He still had Steve's jacket wrapped around him, and more importantly his shoes were at his feet. The only sound around them was the rumble of the engine. The streets outside were empty. Steve drummed his fingers against the steering wheel anxiously.

"Um... how about some radio?" He offered.

Danny either didn’t hear or didn’t care. He probably wasn’t listening. Steve gulped. All he could hear was the blood rushing through his ears as he replayed that kiss in his mind and wondered what the hell he had been thinking. If Danny looked his way he would have seen the red hot flush still staining his cheeks. But Danny just laid his head against the back of the seat and looked away. Steve flicked on the radio.

This late at night he had expected something soft and relaxing, but yet another love song made him cringe. He glanced Danny's way. Danny's head twitched.

"Sorry, I'll-" Steve reached for the button.

"Leave it," Danny said sharply.

He didn’t look up. Steve glanced at him uncertainly. His hand hesitated for a moment, but he withdrew it as Danny tilted his head towards the radio. Steve was relieved to see he wasn't crying.

"Billy Joel... Now the piano man knew what he was talking about when it came to love."

Steve said nothing. He wasn’t really sure what he was supposed to say. Danny didn’t really seem to care that he wasn't alone. He just spoke to the air, and sang along quietly to himself. It didn't seem to matter that Steve was there. 

"I would not leave you, in times of trouble... We never could have come this far..."

He tilted his head way too far towards Steve for it to be an accident but he didn’t look up as he hummed along. Steve's chest tightened.

"I took the good times... I'll take the bad times... I'll take you just the way you are!"

Danny gave a low laugh that shook so slightly that Steve felt a shiver run through him. A quiet tremble of emotion that felt far too intimate. Far too vulnerable. Danny didn’t notice.

"That's proper New York that. Not that it beats New Jersey, we got love down, we got Jovi giving it all that-" Danny mimed an air guitar for a moment before chuckling quietly again. He pointed a finger into the air as if gesturing to the music around them, "but this, this is good too. I like this, listen..." despite saying listen, he continued to sing along, "I just want someone that I can talk to... I want you just the way you are..." Danny laughed and thumped his chest with his hand, "that hits good, that hits here."

Steve glanced over as Danny rolled his head and chuckled again. Steve had no idea what he was talking about really, but he said nothing. If Danny found comfort in just talking Steve wasn’t going to interrupt. Their therapist had pushed the importance of just getting things off your chest and it was possibly the only thing that actually felt like it helped. Even if Steve did feel like he would rather set himself on fire than do so.

The fact his lungs were already burning was solely because he had forgotten how to breathe. 

"I love you just the way you are. Just. The way. you are," Danny repeated as if he was rolling it in his mouth to see how it tasted. Then, suddenly, he nudged Steve as if he remembered he was actually there. "You said that to me once, you remember that?"

Steve blinked. He did not remember that. In fact, right now, his oxygen deprived mind was struggling to do anything more than focus on the road in front of them.

"I said that?" Steve choked.

"Yeah."

"To you?"

"Yep."

"When?"

"Outside Kamekona's truck after the thing. The- the- the stress test! Flippa heard you and everything! You said "Don't change. I love you the way you are. I need it to stay that way." Remember that?" Danny asked.

Steve blinked again. He looked across at Danny, slightly in awe of his memory. He didn’t remember saying it and honestly the fact he had made him feel so exposed now. Especially with Danny's big blue eyes staring at him. They were illuminated again every time they passed a street light.

" _I_ said that?" He repeated, "You memorized what I said?

"Uh huh, and then you called me your best friend forever. Your b.f.f." Danny poked him playfully after each letter.

Steve let out a wheezy laugh as he shifted behind the wheel. It suddenly felt a lot warmer in this car.

"Well I stand by it," he said firmly.

Danny scoffed and sat back to look out the window again as he said, "You shouldn't its a load of crap."

Steve frowned. "It is?"

"Yeah," Danny nodded. He didn’t have any malice in him. Just tiredness. This was the way the world worked for him, and it left him dejected. "Nothing lasts forever. People always change. They do, people change, and then relationships change and they never ever ever work out and then they're just poof... gone. Forgotten..."

Danny's hand twirled in the air as he said it, but as he finished he coiled it around his middle for comfort. He rested his head against the window again. Steve glanced over. His heart sank. He hated seeing him so blue. Steve licked his lips nervously. 

"Danny?"

There was no response. Danny just tugged the jacket closer around him and closed his eyes. Steve's chest ached for him.

"Danny please. Please stop thinking like that," he begged. "You're unforgettable. Stop thinking you aren't. Please stop thinking that you aren’t!"

For a moment there was no response. Steve let out a heavy sigh. He had no idea how else he could help. Trying had gotten them into this mess in the first place. And then Danny's head glanced towards him, cautiously.

"Really?"

It was quiet. So, so quiet. Barely a whisper. But in the heavy silence of the car, it was like a shout.

"Yeah really!" Steve insisted, thrilled just to have a response, "I thought about you the whole time I was away. I was always talking to Adam about your PT, Lou said you were doing fine at work, Mary said you were coping with Grace going to college, Tani said that Eddie was keeping you fit - I was always thinking about you. Believe me, you’re not forgettable."

Danny's heart skipped a beat. He sat up. Steve flashed him a reassuring smile, but Danny wasn't sure he understood exactly what he had heard.

"You were?"

"Yes! The whole time," Steve insisted, "Ever since Korea, just like I promised."

"So... so you didn’t forget me the moment someone else came along?" Danny muttered.

It was something that had crossed his mind once, dug in it's heels, and firmly rooted itself down in his thoughts to toy with him daily. Danny had been plagued by it. But by the baffled look on Steve's face, it clearly hadn’t entered his once.

"Who? Who could ever replace you? You’re my Danno."

The word reverberated through Danny like a drumbeat. The same one that made him feel sick to his stomach before, sent a flutter through him now. His mind was spinning around him though. It was enough to make him want to cry.

"Then how comes you left me all alone?" He whined.

"Danny I asked you if I could go. You said it-"

Steve swallowed in his argument with a sigh. When Steve stood on that beach and asked Danny if he understood why he had to go, he had thought Danny knew he was asking permission. But like Tani always said, if it's not explicitly stated then it's all a miscommunication. That was on him. Not Danny.

Steve turned the key to cut the engines as they parked. In a new silence, Steve looked over at Danny. Danny stared back at him, still waiting.

"You were never alone man. Never," Steve said, gently, but firmly.

He reached out and laid his hand on top of Danny’s. Danny stared at it. The gentle touch soothed the burns that Harry had left there. Danny's heart was in his throat.

"I'm so sorry that I made you feel that way. I'll make it my mission that you never feel like that again if you want."

Danny's eyes moved from Steve's hand to his eyes, though his chin remained on his chest. Steve's eyes were brimmed with tears. Even in his haze Danny could see them. He could feel them. Maybe it was the heartache talking, but Steve felt like a familiar comfort that Danny was desperate for. Because after all this time, after everything that had gone wrong, it was still _this._

Just Danny and Steve.

Even if they were miserable, even if they were arguing, they still had each others backs. Danny needed that right now.

He glanced back towards the house. All the lights were out. Everyone was asleep. No one would know...

Danny glanced towards Steve again. He allowed the alcohol to slur his words, almost as an excuse, as he muttered, "help me upstairs."

Steve wasn't exactly surprised that he needed help getting into the house, but upstairs seemed overly specific. He didn't object. He wouldn't. Not when he was needed. 

Once, at a couples therapy session that was not exactly the kind of thing they had expected but was still surprisingly helpful, Steve had stumbled in drunk and woken up Danny. He had slammed the door open, and then started whispering to see if Danny was awake. It was plainly obvious that he hadn't been until Steve arrived and destroyed the peace. Danny did very much the same thing now.

Eddie barked to challenge them, but returned quickly and silently to his bed when he realised they weren't intruders. Then Danny stumbled into a table, dragging it loudly across the floor.

"Shhh!" Danny hissed at Steve, before giggling.

Steve felt a bubble of alarm in his chest. He instinctively glanced towards the ceiling. If Grace was anything like her father she was probably still awake worrying about him. If not she was probably barely asleep. Waking her now would be unfair. Besides, Danny didnt want his kids to see him like this. Danny stumbled into the bottom of the stairs. Steve hurried over.

"Here, here, let me help," he whispered.

Danny just giggled again, tried to muffle them, and shushed Steve when he couldn't. The more he tried to stay quiet, the more he wanted to laugh. Steve ducked his head under Danny's arm and tried to help him up the stairs. He swayed still. Once or twice his weight shifted so far back Steve thought they were both going to fall, but they managed to find their balance. At the top of the stairs, Steve gently nudged Danny's middle so that he would step around the squeaking floorboard.

He knew this house like the back of his hand, he knew how to keep quiet.

Grace sat up in her bed. She had heard the car outside and assumed it was Harry's. When Danny came stumbling in drunk she recognised his laughter instantly. The relief that spread through her was welcome, but tainted by her annoyance at Harry. He had promised to have Danny home by midnight. It was now gone four.

Coming up the stairs it was clear that Danny was wasted but Harry was far less drunk. It had to he Harry helping. Danny wouldn't let just anyone help him up to his bed when he was like this. But then they had missed the creaking floorboard.

Harry didn’t know about that creaking step. If you didn’t know about it, you couldn't avoid it. Not while carrying a drunk up to his room.

Whoever was with her father, it wasn't Harry.

Steve wouldn't pretend that he wasn't slightly pleased that Danny had claimed his old bedroom as his own. It was weird though. Walking into a room that had been tailored to suit him for as long as he had been alive and suddenly not know where anything was. He hauled Danny down onto the bed though, and Danny bounced and giggled. Steve cocked a grin to hear it, but it was still noisy. Danny pressed a finger to his lips to shh Steve between giggles and gestured vaguely towards the door. Steve glanced back. The bedroom door was open. Steve moved to shut it as quietly as he could.

"Alright," he whispered as he came back to Danny's side.

Danny was lying flat on the bed looking up at the ceiling, fully dressed except for his shoes. His feet were still covered in sand. Steve could see that from the doorway.

"Let's get you more comfortable huh?" He muttered.

Steve sat on the edge of the bed to try and dust off Danny's feet. Danny wriggled as he did. Steve smirked to himself. When Danny wriggled he reminded him of Charlie. At least this one wasn’t bouncing on the bed. Although when he shifted Steve's eyes fell on Danny’s belt. He wrinkled his nose.

Wearing his belt when he fell asleep would leave red bites across his waist. That would be uncomfortable and regrettable. Steve shifted thoughtfully. He had a promise to keep.

"I'm gonna take this off you okay?" Steve muttered.

Danny just muttered nonsense in response. His eyes were lilting back like he was struggling to keep them open. He was falling asleep. Steve hummed to himself. If he was going to sleep anyway...

Steve was careful about where he put his knee as he crept up the bed. He did his best not to disturb Danny as he went. It was surprisingly easy. Danny was dozing off already. Steve was careful as he reached for Danny's belt buckle.

"Hey!"

Danny shifted, suddenly alert as his hand slapped up against Steve's. He pinned Steve's hand down against his waist. Steve felt his stomach clench. This was not the kind of thing he had imagined happening when he woke up this morning.

"What are you doing?" Danny's voice was full of laughter as he asked.

Steve snatched his hand back as quickly as he could. Danny chuckled as his own hand fell down beside him. It was fortunate that Danny had kept his king sized because when Steve pulled back he stumbled. If it had been a normal bed he would have fallen off. Sensing that, Danny threw a hand out to catch him. It didn't ease the fire in Steves lungs.

Once they were both safely on the bed, Danny laughed again. "Usually its Charlie that doesn’t want to stay in bed."

"I know. When I was babysitting the only way I could get him to stay in bed was to sing to him," Steve said.

"You gonna sing to me?" Danny asked, hopefully. 

Steve's stomach knotted at the idea. "No."

"Oh you'll sing for Charlie, but not for me?" Danny smirked.

"I'm not going to sing for you," Steve stated.

Danny groaned in disappointed as he buried his head into the bedcovers. Steve's stomach felt like lead. He was keenly aware of Danny’s hand still gripping his arm like he couldn’t let go. Danny hadn't held him this tightly in years. It took him a moment for his mind to work again.

"I was going to take off your belt to stop it hurting you," Steve explained.

"Oh." Danny was too drunk to hide his disappointment in that too. He sighed and waved a hand, "go on then."

Steve's heart was going so fast that he couldn’t feel it as his fingers fumbled with Danny's belt buckle. Danny's shirt rode up as Steve moved. Steve's eyes burned into the leather of the belt to avoid glancing at Danny bare skin and wondering about tan lines again.

He was playing with fire and he knew it was going to burn but he couldn't let go. 

The belt fell free and Steve rolled away to the edge of the bed. With the new distance between them he gasped for air. He could only breathe when he wasn’t looking at Danny. His cheeks were so hot the new air felt like ice. Steve rolled up the belt quietly. Danny watched him.

In the low light Steve was little more than a silhouette. Just a warm weight at the edge of his bed. One that smelt of the sea and sweat and sandalwood. Over the last year he had lost the faint and familiar scent of gunpowder that had always seemed to linger on his skin. But he still felt familiar. Homely.

He still felt like Steve.

"Did you really think of me when you were away?" 

Steve's head twisted slightly towards Danny. His fingers ran along the wood of the bedside drawer as he set the belt on top of it. Danny's eyes traced each movement. His eyes were the only thing left that weren’t too heavy to move.

"Danny... I'm always thinking about you man," Steve said softly. "You live in my head. Always."

"Because I'm that little voice that stops you being stupid?" Danny asked.

"Did I tell you that too?" Steve chuckled.

"Nah, I always knew that one."

The soft sound of Steve's chuckle faded into the air around them. There was no breeze to clear the air anymore. Everything that was spoken lingered. That was dangerous. Like kindling. It only got worse when Danny's fingers groped against his shirt.

"Lie down with me."

"That's not a good-"

"I'm the voice of reason here Steven. I say lie down."

Steve tensed slightly. He had wandered the world for a year in all that time the one thing he wanted was to lay down in his bed. Beside Danny. Logic told him not to. Logic told him this wouldn't end well. But Danny was sad. He didn’t want to leave him when he was sad. And they were both fully dressed...

"Budge up then," he muttered.

It took a lot more effort to shuffle up then Danny expected but he made room for Steve to lay down tentatively beside him. He was careful to leave a deliberate gap between them. A clear distinct line. One that, if he so dared, he only had to move his hand half an inch to cross.

Steve's heart was so loud he was sure Danny could hear it. The whole house was so quiet he was sure everyone could hear it. They just laid there for a while, looking up at the ceiling. Just quiet. Just... together.

There was a soft rumble close to Steve's ear as Danny chuckled. Steve felt goosebumps prickle down his skin.

"What uh... what's so funny?" He breathed.

"Nothin' it's just... Harry never made it this far."

"Oh?"

Danny shook his head. "No one ever made it to the bed."

Steve's heart lifted for the briefest of moments. He hadn't fully realised the deep seated discomfort he had buried down at the idea of Harry in his old bed. At least in his old bed with _Danny._ He didn't even want to think about long forgotten fantasies of Harry in bed with _him._ Especially when there were so many better fantasies about the man in bed beside him now. He had to swallow them down to keep from losing his head. 

This wasn't even Steve's bed. That had long since been removed. This was a new bed. Danny's bed. It just happened to belong in Steve's old room.He had to remind himself of that. 

Then Danny let out a sigh. His breath was so close to Steve he could feel the heat again. It sent a quiver through him. Had Danny been more sober, Steve knew he would have notice.

"I thought about you too. Whenever I looked at the ocean I wondered where you were and if you were ever coming home," he said.

Steve rolled his head to look at him. His chest couldn’t get any tighter without splitting him apart he was sure of it. The ocean surrounded them. It was impossible to miss. If he was telling the truth, maybe Steve hadn’t ever been far from his mind either.

It took all the effort he had to whisper, "Really?"

In the low light it was hard to make out details, but the shape that made up Danny nodded. "Mmhmm."

Steve felt tears stinging at the corner of his eyes. Warm, happy tears. Relief maybe. Joy. whatever caused them didn’t matter. He looked away before Danny could notice them.

"That's nice," he whispered. "Thank you for telling me."

Silence rolled across the room again. It flowed across them as calm waves flow across a shell. Whenever it passed, it was never gone long. Danny rolled his head towards Steve.

"Were you really jealous of Harry?"

If Steve was breathing at all it was too shallow to be seen. Danny wondered why he still had his shirt on. It masked the rise and fall of his shoulders. Had he been just an inch or two closer he might have tried tugging it away. It was too far. His arms were too heavy. Steve swallowed. It was loud enough to echo in this silence.

"I think you'd be more comfortable lying on your side," he said, quietly. "So you don’t choke if you vomit."

The change in subject was what Danny had expected. Steve never answered questions. He rarely lied, rarer still to Danny. He just ignored questions like they were never asked. Not this time. Danny was too drunk to let him get away with it this time. He rolled onto his side, like Steve said, but he rolled to face Steve. He saw the way Steve's jaw moved so subtly as he sucked in his bottom lip. The heat was rising in him. Danny could sense it.

"See... see when you left, I kept thinking to myself... I kept thinking if only Steve was here... I thought that- If only I were with you, if only I could kiss you, that if I had one more night to make to make you stay..."

Danny's fingers wrapped themselves into Steve's sleeve. Steve's breath caught in his throat. His entire body was tense. He cleared his throat but it went up a pitch.

"I didn’t get you a - let me get you a bucket!"

Steve leapt up and off of the best as fast as he could possible scramble to do so. Danny's hand fell into the mattress. He winced at the new light as Steve ducked into the bathroom to find the waste bin.

Steve took the opportunity to gasp in whatever air he could gather. His head was spinning. Steve turned the light off again as he left the bathroom. It was easier to deal with Danny in the darkness. If he couldn’t see the details of the face that he already had memorized, he couldn’t get drawn in.

At least that was the theory.

In reality Steve held out a bin, and when Danny's hand brushed against his to take it, it was like electricity through his skin that made his nerves stand to attention.

"One bin," Steve muttered.

He heard Danny chuckle in the darkness, "My hero."

Steve winced. "Danny c'mon. Stop it now."

It was a softly pleading whisper. One that sent something through Danny. He didn't quite know what. He knew he was dancing on a knifes edge right now, but there was too much wasted time on his mind and alcohol in his blood to care.

"Maybe I’m just sad and lonely, drunk and tired of... tired... tired of people leaving..." Danny muttered sadly, "tired of being alone..."

Steve licked his lips again. He could feel himself being drawn in, but he felt powerless to resist. This was Danny. _Danny._ And he needed him. So he sat on the edge of the bed again, and placed the bin by his feet.

"You're not alone," he said.

"Not yet," Danny countered.

Steve winced. "Danny I'm back. I swear I'm back. I swear I'm never leaving again. I'm gonna write myself a note never to go anywhere without you again. I never want to be without you again."

"People always leave Steve."

Steve sighed. it ached in his bones to know that no matter how much he insisted, he was never going to be able to prove it. In his mind he was back. In his heart he had never left. But in Danny's he had, and that was something that would never be able to get past.

"Danny..." Steve whispered softly. He hated himself for wanting to ask. He hated using his drunkenness against him, but he had to know. He had to. "Danny tell me the truth and I'll let it go forever and never mention it again but... if I hadn't left... if I had stuck around and we had been together this whole time... would - would anything... would anything have ever happened between us?"

The air around them stilled. Steve's hands gripped onto his knees with all the terror of a man dangling over the edge of a building. Except Steve had been that man before. He had dangled over the edge of a building. There was always some kind of control in that situation, no matter how high up or how scared or how exhausted he was, he had some control. He had some level of protection.

Here, it was all in Danny's hands. And he took a painfully long time to answer.

"I hope so. I want to believe that it would have... but we spent so long dancing around each other that I'm just not sure..."

"But you would have... that is, you wouldn't have hated me if I tried... if I had kissed you back then?"

"I would have loved it."

_Fuck._

That hurt worse than a bullet. Worse than the building collapsing on top of them. Worse than diving to the bottom of the sea without oxygen and holding his breath the whole way.

If he had just swallowed his fears, stepped up, and kissed the man any of the million times that the desire struck him, literally once out of the endless opportunities that offered themselves, he wouldn't be so utterly destroyed right now. But it was too late. 

"If only I hadn't left..."

Danny blinked slowly. He had to blink slowly because his eyelids were weighed down by exhaustion and alcohol. Even though the two caused a fog across his mind, he knew the pain in Steve's voice the instant he heard it. It was the same one he heard every time Catherine left again. Only this time it was _Steve_ that had gone.

"Why'd you come back Steve? Why? After all this time, why now?" Danny asked softly.

"I missed... I missed the island..." Steve muttered the same old lie.

Danny closed his eyes in protest. "Tell me the truth Steve. Please."

Steve's head shifted as he held in a heavy sigh of his own, but he couldn’t hold it in for long. Danny wanted the truth. Steve wasn't thinking clear enough to lie.

"Because I was lonely. I was waking up in places I didn’t know with no one to talk to and all these things that reminded me of you... things that I wanted to share with you... I wanted to call. I wrote so many post cards. I never got the guts to send them. I figured if I was gonna say it I'd say it while looking you in the eye... and I missed you so much it _hurt._ So I came home. I thought I'd have time to work out what to say before I saw you but... life has a way of getting in the way..."

There was a long silence between them before Danny reached a hand across the mattress to lazily try and touch him. He was nowhere close.

"C’mere."

"I really don’t think-"

"Would you lie down so that I can hug you please?"

Even drunk, tired and heartbroken Danny was impatient. This time everything in Steve was screaming no. Absolutely everything told him this was a bad idea. But he had wanted this for so damn long. He had wanted Danny by his side in his bed for what felt like a life time. Just a little taste of what could have been... it couldn’t hurt that much, could it?

Danny chuckled with pleased triumph as Steve slowly, hesitantly, laid back down in the bed. Steve even laid on his side to face Danny. This much closer, he could see even more of him, despite the darkness. He didn’t need light to see the way that he smiled.

"See? Isn’t that better? Why don’t you ever listen to me, I'm always right."

Steve couldn't retaliate because he couldn’t breath. Danny couldn't reach him across the gap he had left between them (thank Heavens for the king sized) so he curled his hand across the pillow where Steve had laid his. Steve could feel Danny's fingers brushing against his palm as he moved to hold him close. He couldn’t feel anything else. Not his lungs, not his heart, nothing.

Just Danny.

This close, face to face, Danny didn't even whisper anymore. He didn’t need to be that loud. He could just breath and Steve felt it on his cheek.

"What did you want to say?"

"H-hmm?"

"In those postcards. What'd you want to tell me?"

Steve's lungs screamed so that he could murmur, "H-how drunk are you?"

"I'm fucked," Danny chuckled warmly. Steve could smell the wine on his words. "Why's that matter?"

"Because... because if I say it I can never un-say it and... and I need to know you won't remember it so nothing changes," Steve whispered.

Danny nudged his head tantalisingly closer to encourage him, despite being unable to keep his eyes open. They would have been so blue in this pale light. So close. Tired and vulnerable and so blue... Imagining them took Steve's breath away again.

"'member what?"

"I..." Steve's lungs were on the brink of collapse as his heart vibrated faster than anything in existence. His throat was dry. He wasn’t even sure if his mouth could form the words anymore, until he was saying them. "I love you Danny... I'm sorry but I do."

Danny's eyes flew open. In the briefest of moments they found whatever streak of light was coming in through the crack in the curtain. His eyes had never been so blue. Steve swallowed the sand in his throat. He couldn't look away. 

"I tried getting over it, I tried finding someone else, but... you're irreplaceable. I never thought you could like someone like me and then you did and it was _Harry_ and I was going insane and then you said you needed to get over me and I didn't even realise you were... if only I had realised..."

If Steve was going to go into cardiac arrest it would be now and he would go happily. Anything to escape the utter agony of waiting for a response. He couldn’t even look at Danny as his face twisted. He closed his eyes in painful anticipation.

"I didn't."

Steve’s eyes opened again. That was not what he had expected. "Huh?"

"I didn't. I didn’t realise. Not really..."

Danny shrugged. Steve's mind raked through past conversations at lightning speed to try and recall literally anything that might make sense of Danny's answer. It took a beat of that silence for Danny to explain himself.

"I didn't think I was bi. Not really. I mean I've fucked guys before, but it was never about fucking _guys_ it was just about... I dunno, fucking I guess. Stress relief or whatever. Back home my family, they mean well, they got a lot of love, but they're not exactly... if you’re a man you love four things, family, the jets, beer and women. That's it. But when I met you..."

Danny's mouth gaped slightly as his words failed him. Steve stared, utterly shocked. Danny chuckled again. His thumb kept running across Steve's palm as he let out a breath.

"I knew you were handsome, I'm not blind. But I thought it was more of a... You were everything... and then you left. You left and I was so utterly lost. I felt like I'd lost my right arm dude, y’know? You were my guy and then you were just... poof!"

Danny waggled his fingers against Steve's palm and Steve's chest ached . He nodded in understanding as he muttered, "Gone."

"Exactly. Gone. Then I found Harry."

Steve recoiled. In the terrifying pleasure of being so close, so tender with Danny, he had forgotten what had lead them here. Or, more accurately, who. Danny was hurting. He was heartbroken. Whatever he was doing was to relieve that pain. Steve needed to remember that.

"Harry is so funny," Danny laughed quietly, "He's so much like you in so many ways, and he's got that accent like Rachel, and then he was so different in so many ways... he got me out of my shell... he made me see that I could be loved back by a man and that’s when I knew it was okay. That part of me. The bisexual bit. Harry showed me that it was okay. That _I'm_ okay."

The wistful tone in his voice utterly broke Steve's heart. It broke him to think that Danny only considered himself to be okay when he was so much more than that. So much more than words could say. Especially to Steve. But he held it together.

"Yeah, yeah, he's uh... he’s a good man."

"Mmm," Danny hummed in agreement. "He's gonna be a good dad..."

The softness in his tone turned sad as he remembered the moment that Harry had chosen his daughter over Danny. He had to, obviously, Danny would have left him if he hadn’t, but... but that didn't help.

"Grace thought we were dating before you left y'know," he continued.

Steve blinked in surprise. He had absolutely no idea how to react to that sudden new information. But as he thought about it, it cleared up a few puzzles in his mind.

"That... that explains why she was so mad at me. She was heartbroken when Gabby and Melissa left and I said I wasn't like them. I didn't think..." Steve trailed off.

Back then he had meant every word of it. Steve wasn't like those women. Danny would never love him like he loved them. It was impossible. At least he had though so back then. His mind was churning so fast now it was hard to keep up.

"Gracie knew. She’s a smart one. Super smart. Really smart. Too smart. She’s off at college being more smart, smarter than I ever was, and it won't be long before she realises that."

Danny sounded proud, but also slightly scared. Steve sensed his doubts. He squeezed Danny’s hand a little, attempting to reassure him. All it did was sent a bolt of lightning through the both of them at the reminder that this was real. This was happening. They were physically here, together, in bed, talking things out. Danny's heart beat a little faster.

"Danny I've seen you figure out impossible cases and escape impossible situations, you're smart," Steve urged.

"Except I couldn't figure out that I loved you in time to stop you leaving," Danny muttered.

Steve tensed. It ran down his entire body. Danny felt it even across this little gap between them. His words felt like a white hot poker brandished to his skin. He loved him. He would have loved him. He could have had everything he wanted. If only he hadn’t left.

"I've been in love with you since... I don't even know. I think it was... whatever. There was this huge hole in my chest when you were gone and Harry... Harry is so handsome... he's smart and charming and brave and funny and..."

Danny took a deep breath at the way the memories felt like wounds. Steve felt the same dull agony to hear it. He wasn't going anywhere this time though. Danny needed him and he was going to stay here and hear him out.

"Harry's got everything going for him huh?" He forced a smile.

Danny's lungs were empty. His heart was racing. The heat of his skin against Steve's was making his palms clammy. He swallowed hard and shook his head.

"No?" Steve couldn’t hide the pleasure that ran through him. "What's wrong with him then, tell me?"

Danny's head was gone. He was running on nothing but alcohol now and alcohol drowned out the anxiety in his stomach. If that wasn't enough, it was dark. He could feel Steve. Touch him. He knew he was there. But he didn’t have to look at him as he let the words fall from him in the softest of whispers.

"He's not you."

A cold shiver ran through Steve as Danny knocked what little air was left out of his lungs. He was frozen. He couldn't think. He couldn't breathe. He couldn’t move.

This was it.

This was the moment he had been waiting for.

This was the last opportunity be would ever be offered to kiss the man of his dreams.

Steve could feel the springs in the mattress shift as Danny wriggled closer. The heat of his skin radiated out across Steve's. He was closing the gap. Removing the barrier between them. Danny was doing it himself. Choosing Steve himself.

His head knocked against Steve's. His nose brushed against Steve's. His lips...

Reality hit Steve like a frying pan when Danny's breath tickled across his skin. The smell of the alcohol knocked him back into it. Steve felt his heart collapse again.

Danny was choosing him because there were no other options. Because Steve was the only one here. Because he wanted the heartache to stop. Nothing more. And he would regret it in the morning. Steve couldn't have that. He blinked hard as a tear rolled down his cheek and he pulled away just as Danny pushed forward to kiss him.

Danny blinked as his lips found nothing but thin air. His heart struck up the band again. He pulled back to stare at Steve, dumb struck.

Steve couldn’t bring himself to look at him as he muttered, "Get some sleep Danny."

Danny's heart throbbed as Steve dragged himself up off of the bed. Danny tried to cling onto him but he was too slow and Steve was already out of reach.

"But... I thought..." Danny began, but he had no idea how to finish.

"I made you a promise. I intend to keep it," Steve stated.

Danny's mouth hung open as he shook his head urgently, "Steve, that isn't-"

"You're drunk. You're sad and - and lonely, I'm lonely too, I... I shouldn't be here," Steve insisted.

He stood up quickly. The guilt was already crashing through him as he hurried towards the door. Danny pushed himself up as quickly as he could to try and stop him.

"Steve don't go," he begged.

Steve's chest ached. This was the hardest thing he had ever had to do, and he had done things that were impossible.

"I'll... I'll check on you in the morning."

"Steve please don’t go."

"Get some sleep."

"Steve..."

Danny's last plead was barely a whisper as Steve stepped out of the room. He shut the door quietly behind him, and instantly leaned against it for support. Steve gasped for all the air that couldn’t fill his shaking breath as he tried to hold in a sob.

It would be too loud. There were children trying to sleep here.

Steve swallowed down the ball in his throat and cautiously picked his way across the hall, avoiding the creaking floorboards. He made it down the stairs without alerting Eddie. The front door was in his sights. He was nearly home free.

"Uncle Steve?"

Steve skidded to a halt as Grace turned on a lamp. In the darkness this new light have her a halo. She looked across the room at him, wide eyed and innocent. She had no idea of the raging fire melting Steve from the inside. 

"Is he okay?"

"Grace!" Steve gasped.

He hadn't noticed her waiting on the sofa. She had Eddie sleeping across her knees. That explained why he hadn’t barked.

"I... I thought you were asleep."

"Is Danno okay?" She repeated, urgently.

"Danno's-" he clenched his jaw. "Yeah, Danny's fine. Just drunk. Nothing to worry about."

Grace breathed a sigh of relief. Steve paused when she looked back up at him. She looked exhausted. It was then that he realised how late it was. They had gotten in just after four and it was now five. By the lack of surprise in her tone he realised that she must have already known he was here. She must have found his truck outside. Then come back in to sit down and soothe herself through soothing Eddie. Clearly she had been awake for a long time.

"You should go to bed. Danny's going to be hung over in the morning and Charlie's going to need someone to keep him amused. Who's that going to be if you’re too tired?" Steve said.

Although he was speaking if she had asked him to repeat himself immediately he wouldn’t have been able to. His mind was elsewhere. Grace tilted his head at the distance around him.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Does it really matter?" He sighed.

"It does to me. We are family after all."

Steve's mind was silenced as his eyes snapped onto her. Grace watched him with mild amusement as she waited for his brain to recalibrate itself. Grace was offering him everything. Steve frowned cautiously. He had already been burned once tonight. He couldn't bare it happening again.

Quietly he asked, "you mean it?"

Grace nodded. "We always were, I just..." she trailed off as she felt a sting of regret. Then she inhaled deeply and changed the subject, "are you okay uncle Steve?"

Steve stumbled forwards. He fell to his knees in front of the sofa. Eddie shifted his head at the rude awakening, and had to quickly move as Steve threw his arms around Grace. He bundled her against him, clinging onto her like a life raft. Grace laughed quietly. It was muffled by his chest. She could feel the heat radiating out of him as his blood raced through his veins and his heart pounded.

Steve's hand curled around the back of her head, messing up her hair as he held her as tightly to him as he could manage. Grace wriggled to try and hug him back. She furrowed her brow in amused confusion as she felt him sniff her hair.

"You sure you're good?"

"I'm better now," he muttered. "I love you so much Grace face."

"Love you too uncle Steve," she muttered back.

Whatever had happened tonight she had no idea but Steve had desperately needed this hug. That much was obvious. So she didn’t try to fight against it, even when he planted a kiss onto her hairline.

"Hey, I'll uh... I'll be back at around ten to pick up you and Charlie okay? We'll go surfing or something, just- just to get out of the house. Give Danny time to tend to his hangover. Would that be okay?"

He looked up at her to ask her permission and it took her by surprise. In the light of the lamp it looked like he wanted to cry. A damp red ring was edging at the corners of his eyes and his breathing was too rapid to be calm. Even Eddie's heart rate was lower than Steve’s and his was wild.

"Surfing?" She repeated.

He nodded. Grace considered this for a moment. Charlie was definitely going to be over excited in the morning. He was usually bouncing off of the walls if he was the first one to wake up, which woke up everyone else. And being exhausted already, Grace was certain that dealing with the child alone was going to drive her crazy, especially with Danny's hangover.

But Steve was back. He was offering his help. Because they were family, and family helped out.

"I'm sure I'll be exhausted but if you think that's best-" she began.

"I'll bring a blanket and you can nap in my truck if you want," he suggested.

"That sounds awful but I've done worse so sure," she shrugged.

He grinned. "Good. I'll see you at ten."

"Why don’t you just stay? That's only five hours, you might as well sleep on the couch," she said.

His eyes widened slightly. "I... It's better if I don't. Besides my swimsuits at Marys."

"Okay?" Grace said slowly. Something else was going on here. It was obvious. But five hours wasn’t a lot of time and she didn't want to waste any not sleeping. "Drive safe though. I just got you back I don't wanna lose you."

He smiled as he stood up again. "I'm... I'm not gonna leave you."

Grace tilted her head at his uncertainty but smiled. He kissed her head to wish her goodnight before he left. Grace chuckled as she watched the truck pull away into the sunrise. Uncle Steve was weird. But he was family. She loved him anyway.


	19. Chapter 19

Mary was driving the truck. She wasn’t insured to, but it was safer if she did. Steve was running on three hours sleep and exhausted. Mary didn't want to let him drive in that condition. She also wasn’t thrilled at the idea of him taking the kids surfing like this but cold water shock would keep him awake. Steve drummed his fingers against the paper bags on his lap. They were full of Malasadas. One bag for them, one for Danny. Anything to help sop up the alcohol. At least that was what Steve had thought in the shop. Now they were driving towards Danny's house and Steve's heart was in his throat making him doubt himself.

"Is this a good idea? If he's hungover I don’t want to make him even sicker by giving him fried dough. That’s stupid. This is stupid. They're warm too, what if that makes it worse?"

"Try one and find out," Mary suggested.

"But if they’re good there’s one less for Danny to enjoy and I don’t want to-"

"Put it in your mouth if only to shut yourself up."

Steve frowned. Mary gestured down to the child sleeping in between them. Since Mary had insisted on driving they couldn't leave Joan unaccompanied. She had settled back in to sleep in the middle seat but Mary didn't want to wake up. If she found out Steve was taking Charlie surfing she would want to go too and Mary didn’t think he could handle three children in the water at once.

Steve stuffed a Malasada into his mouth just to shut himself up. He grumbled miserably as he did.

"Feel better yet?" Mary asked.

"No," he sighed.

"If it helps, you did the right thing."

"Doesn't help."

"He needed a friend and you were there for him. That's what you should have done."

"I know that."

"I'm proud of you."

"Still doesn’t help."

"I’m still proud of you."

The second time she said it Steve felt something. Any other day it might have been warm. Might have been pride. But his mind was full of worms and he didn't think that black flicker in his stomach could be considered proud. 

Last night felt like a bad dream. He couldn't bare to think of it as a real thing. He couldn't bare to imagine Danny trying to kiss him and Steve not letting him. Yet it had happened. And now Danny was going to be furious again, so when he finally found out about Grace... Steve sighed. He dropped his head against the truck window. 

"I could have had everything I ever wanted Mary," he muttered, helplessly. "All I've ever wanted is Danny to like me back. And he did. At least he did enough to try and kiss me... and I said no. I walked away. _again."_

"Because if you had gone through with it you would never have known if he loved you or if you were just a rebound. You’re protecting yourself. Its smart," Mary promised.

"Doesn’t feel smart," Steve grumbled.

"And you didn’t take advantage of Danny's situation because you’re a gentleman," she continued stubbornly. "And if you had I would have kicked you in the kidney."

"I know but-" Steve paused, "can you even reach my kidneys?"

Mary nodded proudly, "I can, I've been learning self defence."

Steve frowned, "self defence?"

Mary's shoulders sagged as she rolled her eyes at him. He grumbled again about her being dismissive, but she dismissed it and the irony was too much for him to deal with in his state of mind.

"I'm a single mom living alone with my daughter on an island possibly crawling with moms enemies out to get me or use me and my daughter as leverage against you. _of course_ I learned self defence," Mary explained.

"Who looks after Joan while you’re gone?" He asked, curiously.

"Joan comes with me. Sometimes Grace comes along, although she said that it's nowhere near as good as when Kono used to teach it and honestly I buy it. Last time I saw her Kono said that dancing was the best way to stay limber enough to make our defence since we're smaller than the average attacker, why are you staring at me like that?" Mary asked defensively.

Steve had an expression like he was chewing a slice of lemon. "I offered to teach you self defence when you first came back to the island-"

Mary rolled his eyes again as she argued, "That's different! _You_ teach like a man, _I_ need to learn from a woman."

"So you went to Kono?" Steve challenged.

"Well yeah, she’s the best fighter I've ever seen," Mary said pointedly. Steve couldn't argue with that. He wanted to, for the sake of arguing, but he couldn’t. "She suggested our trainer to us too and it's been a lot of fun, I feel super safe."

Steve frowned dubiously. "Can I be honest? I don't. If anyone’s gonna teach my niece to fight for herself it should be the best person around-"

"Kumu is the best-"

"No, no, _Kono_ is the best and if she's not available there's always Tani and Quinn - Catherine isn't a bad teacher-"

"She's _eight!_ I want her to learn how to break free from capture and run a mile not break an arm and drag him to the cops!"

"Why not, that's the best way to deal with these sorts of things."

Mary made a half choked scoffing sound. There was a lot more arguing she could have done, but instead she huffed, "How did we even get here? We were talking about you and Danny!"

Just like that Steve was slammed straight back down into the depths of his guilt stricken mind. He shuffled, fiddling with the bags again.

"There is no me and Danny. There won't ever be a me and Danny. I’m pretty sure I just shut that door forever,” he sighed.

“At least you know how he feels now."

“How he felt before I left,” Steve corrected. “Now he's just mad at me - well he will be when he's sober, and it sucks... Danny is never going to forgive me.”

Mary frowned, "forgive you for what, you haven’t done anything wrong! You stopped him from doing something he would regret, you kept your promise, he's gonna appreciate that-"

"No, no he’s not, y’know why?" Steve huffed.

Mary tried to think of an answer but not one came to mind. "No, why?"

Steve's jaw twitched as he blinked. He hadn’t really expected her to call his bluff. The more he thought about it the more he was regretting not talking to Danny about Grace first and after last night the guilt was eating at him and he didn't want to admit what he had done.

"I don't know either, but it's Danny man! Danny can find a problem with literally anything, you can offer him paradise and he'll complain that its too warm! Believe me, he keeps doing it."

"I've noticed that," Mary admitted. "He also still wears ties just way too often."

"I know. I think he's doing it to wind me up. I kind of like them now though," Steve admitted.

Mary glanced his way, frowning, before snickering and looking back out to the road. Steve frowned at her.

"What?"

"Harry was right, you are very arrogant."

"What did I do this time?" Steve huffed defensively.

"You assume everything Danny does is to get some rise out of you. No one puts that much thought and effort into winding someone up Steve. Not unless they're in love," Mary argued.

Steve's chest flickered viciously as he sat up because he knew that he had plenty of examples of people being that spiteful even though they weren’t in love. Then he paused. He had examples of two people being that spiteful. Tani and Danny. And Tani was only ever did it to Junior, as an elaborate form of flirting. Danny only ever did it to him.

Steve's face fell. He felt like the entire world was dawning around him for the first time in years. "he really did like me back before I left didn’t he?"

"Harry's right about naval intelligence too," Mary snickered. Then she groaned in frustration, "great now I'm worried about the safety of the nation! Thanks a lot Steve!"

Steve rolled his eyes back at her, "Thanks sis. You’re a real moral booster."

"I try," she stated, drily.

Steve snorted despite himself. As much as he enjoyed winding Mary up, and as much as she adored irritating the life out of him, he really didn’t know how he could have lasted without her. Since coming home she had been his rock. He was deeply grateful for that. Gratitude was a blessed relief from the darkness in his chest. It didn’t last long before his mind sucked him back in.

"is he right about second chances?" Steve muttered quietly. "Have... have I ruined my last opportunity too?"

Mary glanced his way. She shrugged plainly, "What am I a fortunate teller? How would I know?"

"I know you don’t know I’m asking your opinion!" Steve huffed.

"Oh then in my opinion you're Steve McGarrett and you can do absolutely anything you put your mind to. You're sorry and you've proved that and now we just have to move on. Otherwise you wouldn't be out surfing with Grace, right?" Mary declared.

Steve felt his spirits lift a little. "Right."

"And really you and Danny can have as many opportunities as you want, you just need to act like adults, sit down and talk about your feelings."

Steve's face twisted into a strong expression of absolute disgust at the very idea of being that openly vulnerable again. Just because it worked didn’t mean he was willing to do it. Mary scoffed.

"Don’t give me that look! You went to couples therapy once, why cant you just take what you learned there and talk things out?! It would be so much easier for the rest of us. Of course that would mean neither of you acting like children for ten minutes and I haven't ever seen proof that you two can do that at the same time!"

Steve hung his head. He felt chastised. There was very little he could say to argue against it either. The only way to truly get past their problems was to sit down and talk like two rational grown ups. To be truly open and honest about how they felt and what they wanted. To open themselves up to vulnerability, trusting the other wouldn't be harsh about anything. That they would try to reach an understanding.

But it would be awkward and uncomfortable and Steve despised the idea with a flaming passion. So, unfortunately, did Danny.

"That's not going to happen," he said.

"Fine then. Die miserable and alone. I'll just have I Told You So carved into the urn," Mary shrugged.

Steve reeled back in shock. His sweet and caring sister had a dark streak, he knew well, he just hadn't seen it since Joan came along.

Mary parked the car and turned her head to smile sweetly at him. "Enjoy your surfing. Don't eat for half an hour before swimming or you'll get cramp."

Steve blinked at her. He had no idea how to react to her anymore. Instead of trying, he fumbled for the handle and mumbled, "Mahalo."

Mary and Joan were going to go shopping in town before catching a bus home so they waved to Grace and Charlie from the truck. The two of them were waiting on the lalani for Steve so they wouldn’t disturb Danny. They were already dressed for surfing and had their weekend bags at their feet, packed with dry clothes and towels so they wouldn’t have to come home to change. Grace had packed them both. Charlie hadn't been convinced Steve was coming until he stepped out of the truck.

"But I thought Danno said you weren't allowed in the house and that we couldn’t be friends anymore!" Charlie explained.

Steve tilted his head in astonishment. "How did you get there from me and Danny arguing? Just because Danny's mad at me doesn’t mean you are bud. You’re your own person. You don’t have to agree with Danny on everything, especially if you don’t!"

"But Grace was mad too!" Charlie argued.

"Uncle Steve said he was sorry and... and you were right Charlie. It wasn't that complicated," Grace admitted.

"So you’re not mad at Uncle Steve?" Charlie frowned.

"No," Grace promised.

"And Danno hasn’t banned you from the house?" Charlie challenged.

"No," Steve said cautiously. He had no idea if it was true or not.

"So we can all go surfing together like one big happy family?" Charlie asked.

"Well we can but like I said Danno's got a headache and needs some peace and quiet-" Grace began.

Charlie leapt to his feet and shouted, "SHOT GUN!"

Grace winced. She glanced up towards the window in case Danny had been woken up. If he had there was no sign of him. Steve was more than slightly relieved. He stooped to pick up the boards as Grace carried the bags. She stifled a yawn.

"You okay?" Steve asked.

"I'm exhausted Uncle Steve," she admitted.

"You wanna stay here and take a nap? I can take Charlie alone-"

"And miss out on more time with you? No way!"

The look of absolutely judgement on Grace's face was trademark Williams. Despite the way it warmed his chest, he wasn't sure two exhausted people surfing with s hyperactive kid to avoid their hungover father was going to end well. 

"It's okay, it's only ankle slappers out there. You and me and hang back and let Charlie tackle any big waves," Steve said with a weak smile, more as an assurance to himself than to her.

She smiled back. It was real. Warm and sweet like honey. "Sounds like a plan."

Steve's smile became more natural. He raised a fist and she bumped it playfully. Grace dropped the bags into the back of the truck beside the boards that Steve had laid down on the floor. He left her to climb into the front of the truck as he vanished into the house for a moment. Steve frowned as he glanced around to check if anyone had left Danny a note. Worrying with a hangover was the worst. He couldn't see one. There was a pen however. No notepad, but a pen. Steve glanced down at the paper bag in his hand.

Steve climbed into the drivers seat and flashed the two kids a grin. "Alright! Let's go catch some waves!"

...

If there was a God and that God did not, in fact, hate Danny, then there would be no cases today. Everything would okay in Oahu for just _one day._ Not the whole world, that was pushing it, just _Oahu._ Just the bit that Danny had to deal with, that would be okay. Just this one day he needed everything to run smoothly- hell it didn’t even have to be smooth, it just needed to run without him.

Yes, technically he was on call, but if anyone anywhere cared about him, that wouldn't mean a thing today. With the hangover he had feeling like a white hot axe had been chiselled into his brain with a meat cleaver, all the flashy lights and constant sirens of a crime scene might actually kill him. The sound of his own breathing felt like a band of woodwind instruments playing directly against his ears so a siren was unthinkable.

If he had a choice, the only thing Danny wanted to do today was be eaten alive by his mattress and left there alone to die.

He bundled the bed covers closer to shield his eyes from the light. There was only a ribbon of sunshine flowing in through the crack in the curtain but that was far too much. It felt like salron burning his soul.

There was something odd about his bed covers. They smelt slightly different than usual. Whatever it was it felt familiar and comforting, but at the same time riled up some strange feeling of horror in his bones. Danny pushed them away. His mind was already foggy and throbbing, he didn't need the horrors too.

He also didn’t need his stomach churning like that. Danny felt himself heave. He gagged. Danny threw himself over to the edge of the bed and snatched the bin to his face. Once all of the horribly foul toxins were out of him, his stomach felt like it had been cut open. The ache in his muscles was awful but it was nothing compared to the stabbing agony in his head. With a grunt he buried his head into the bedcovers again.

_Did I put that there?_

The question rang through him. In the fog of memory he couldn't answer it. His mind offered him options. Maybe Harry had put it there... Except he had told Harry to leave him in the bar and he had. Danny couldn't remember calling him, or anyone else who would do this for him. So maybe Grace had.

Danny couldn’t recall Grace checking in on him which was odd. She usually checked in on him, even if it was just to see if he had been called into work early and she would have to take Charlie to school. Then it hit him like a brick.

Grace was still mad at him.

He hadn’t seen her since she stormed out of the garden. Harry had driven them apart. Danny cursed inwardly. He needed to apologise. He wasn’t sure what he had done but it wasn’t worth his daughter being mad at him. Especially not because of some _guy._

That's all Harry was in the end. Just some guy.

Danny shifted as he tried to get more comfortable, as if he didn’t ache all over. His bare feet felt frozen and it felt like sandpaper on his skin when his legs rubbed together. At least his belt wasn’t digging in. When he shifted, his fingers tapped against his belt buckle. He frowned to find it missing.

_Where's my belt?_

Flashes of last night flickered in his mind. He remembered the feeling of someone kneeling over him and undoing his belt for him. It came with a feeling of a racing pulse and a nervous hope. But he only ever felt that around Steve.

Steve!

He could remember Steve driving. It was definitely in his truck too because they weren’t flying down the street like they were trying to win a drag race for a change.

_"I'll check in on you tomorrow."_

It was definitely Steve's voice Danny had heard last night. He must have put that bin there. But the house was so quiet right now. Strangely so. Like there weren't any children here at all. He lifted his head, despite the agony. Maybe Steve was still here watching them. Maybe he was downstairs...

Danny staggered down the stairs and he wished with everything in him that still felt able to live, that he had a pair of sunglasses to block out the light. This whole house was swimming in it. Bright, warm, natural light that made him want to claw his own eyes out. But except for the light and Eddie in his basket, this place was empty.

"Where is everyone?" He mumbled to Eddie who did not answer.

He staggered to the kitchen to try and attempt making himself coffee. He gasped in delight to find that one had already been made. It broke his heart that it was cold. But that drew attention to the now cool bag sitting beside the cup. Curiously, he opened it.

"Ah Malasadas! If I could move without throwing up I'd eat all of them," he grumbled.

His stomach was empty and that was exactly the way it was staying for a good while. As he turned the packet to drop it he noticed writing on the side. The letters were just squiggles that shifted on the page to him though. If he tried to focus on them to made the room spin and his stomach turn. He didn’t need that. Instead he focused on the other task at hand.

_Coffee._

He desperately needed hot coffee. Fortunately whoever had left this one here for him had also left a packet of aspirin for him too. Whoever they were Danny decided that they were an angel.

Making himself a coffee hurt his aching limbs, but once he had one he settled down onto the sofa. It was then that his mind allowed him to notice the jacket he was warning. He frowned. Even though he faintly recognised it, it wasn’t his. Curiously, he sniffed it.

Danny was instantly thrown back into the night before. The familiar, homely smell of Steve landed him directly back in that truck. Every bump of the road came back to him. His toes were frozen solid and there was sand across his shins. His waist ached where he bent at an uncomfortable angle against the window, tugging at Steve's jacket for comfort. A soft song was drifting around them. It sounded like... Billy Joel? Steve's voice was low and gentle but far more genuine than it had sounded in ages.

_Believe me, you’re not forgettable._

_So... so you didn’t forget me the moment someone else came along?._

_Who? Who could ever replace you? You’re my Danno_.

Danny's jaw dropped as he felt his heart give a low thud. Now that things were coming back to him it seemed blindingly obvious. It was Steve. All of this, it was all Steve.

Steve who came to find him. Steve who took him to the beach. Steve who gave him a jacket to keep him warm. Steve who drove him home safely. Steve who helped him inside. Steve who made sure his belt wouldn't bite at him in the night. Steve who left him a bin. Steve who made coffee. Steve who left him pain killers. Steve who brought Malasadas. Steve who was probably the reason that the kids weren't here adding to his hangover pains. Steve who was looking out for him.

Just like it always had been.

Danny felt a trickle of regret through his chest. He regretted pushing Steve away so stubbornly like he was too utterly unforgivable when it was clear Steve still cared. But he was still confused. Ever since opening his eyes he had been plagued by a looming sense of shame. He had done something last night that caused more than regret too. Something was still foggy. Whatever it was he was ashamed of it already. He just didn’t know what or why and dreaded remembering.

Danny groaned as he cradled his coffee to his chest and closed his eyes to wait for the pain medication to kick in. Maybe it would be easier to think without an axe in his skull.

...

"That. Was. _AWESOME!_ Did you see me Uncle Steve I was like a rocket, I was _flying_ it was so cool I wanna go again right _now!"_

It turns out that if your single parent has a full time job that starts and ends at all sorts of odd hours (and a deep rooted fear of water), your Aunt is constantly juggling house keeping with work and childcare, and your sister is rarely both on the island and not in a shrimp van, you don't get much time to practice surfing.

Charlie had learned to surf back when he was really young. Much to Danny's disdain, Rachel had taken him to the beach the very second day he was allowed out of the hospital. It was then that surfers had caught his eye and - again, much to Danny's disdain - he had asked to learn. With Kono and Chin both on the mainland and Danny refusing to pay Kamekona's "connection fee" in order to find a decent professional, it had fallen to _Steve_ to teach him the basics. He had picked it up well, but then life had turned itself upside down, and his surfing was set to one side unless he could convince Mary to take him and Joan out for an hour. But Mary wasn't so confident on a board these days, especially with two young children in tow, so they mostly stayed in the shallows.

Ultimately, right here and now, in this early morning tide, with his sister and his uncle watching, this was the first time Charlie had ever tackled a real wave alone.

"You were awesome little dude, but you have to wait for the next wave before you can go again," Steve pointed out.

Charlie's eyes were wild with adrenaline as he balanced himself on his board and stared greedily across the water. Whatever wave came next was his. He didn't care who he had to race, it was _his._

Steve chuckled to himself as he kicked his legs through the water. This was nice. He had missed his early morning swims while away. This was better though. Here, floating on his board, he could feel the sun radiating over them. It wasn't high enough to be hot yet, but it was warm. Light sparkled across the cresting waves, turning the deep blue tones brighter. The water wasn't warm, but it wasn't uncomfortably cold either. Hearing it lap across the bottom of their boards was relaxing. It was repetitive and calming and that tranquillity was almost lulling. The sun rays were like a blanket and the water was a gentle rocking sensation beneath them. Running on a few hours sleep, it was hardly a surprise to see Grace stifle another yawn.

"You alright?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, course," Grace stated.

"Sure? I don't want you falling sleep and getting knocked into the water by a wave you didn’t see coming," Steve warned.

"I'm fine Uncle Steve," Grace assured him.

Steve hummed dubiously. Grace's legs were still dangling over the board and into the water but she had laid her elbows down too to rest her head. She was struggling to keep her eyes open. He couldn't have that. He couldn't let her fall asleep and either get washed away while he was focusing on Charlie or - actually he didn’t want to think about all the things that could go wrong even on a gloriously calm morning like this. Not when there was one simple solution to keep her awake.

"HEY!" Grace yelped.

As pleasant as the water was to float in, having it splashed across her face and chest when she had already dried off and warmed up there was a cold and nasty shock. Steve shook his hand dry as he flashed her that megawatt goofy grin of his.

"Now you're awake!"

Grace couldn’t decide whether or laugh or scowl, "oh you want to see a wake up call?! I'll show you a wake up call!"

Grace latched onto her board to keep her balance above the water as she drew her leg up and side kicked Steve as hard as she could. It happened so quickly that Steve wasn't prepared for it. He got knocked straight off his board and straight down into the water, completely submerged. He didn’t go down far before his arm burst through the surface to haul himself back up onto the board. Grace gave a satisfied nod as Charlie squealed with laughter.

After brushing the water out of his eyes with one hand, Steve reached across the gap and tapped Grace's board with his fingers. She frowned and looked over at him. He squirted a mouthful of seawater straight at her and she cried out in alarm.

"Eww, gross, Uncle Steve! You're such an animal!"

Charlie's laughter grew louder. Steve beamed with pride. There was a horrible taste of brine in his mouth now, but it was worth it. Grace rubbed the water out of her eyes with her hand and tried to scowl at him. There was a bubble of laughter shining in her eyes that gave her away. Steve's smile grew. Her eyes were too expressive to hold secrets. She was too much like her father.

"ANOTHER WAVE!"

Charlie was already frantically paddling before either Steve or Grace looked up. They had every intention of letting the boy take this wave and the next and however many more came before Grace actually did pass out on her surf board. Charlie, however, had other ideas.

He beamed at Steve proudly as he paddled back over, soaked to the skin from where he fell off, and challenged, "Beat that!"

Steve couldn't resist a challenge, even from a kid. He flashed Charlie a grin before paddling out to the next wave. His arms were far longer than Charlie's and much stronger. He had more experience swimming and paddling and he could outrun Charlie with ease. If Charlie had followed him that is. But Charlie was a Williams and therefore more wily than Steve had thought. Charlie wanted to talk to his sister alone and he had found the perfect way to get rid of Steve to do so.

"When are Steve and Danno going to date?"

In her shock at the sudden demand Grace's elbow slipped and she nearly ploughed her chin straight into her board. She stared at him for a moment and Charlie stared back, full of expectation.

"Dude he just broke up with Harry!" She said, "give Danno time to heal."

"How long? A day? A week?" Charlie asked.

"I'm not sure Charlie, Danno will decide," Grace shrugged.

"Because I think they should date now," Charlie stated.

Grace squinted off into the distance as she quietly wondered why the hell she had agreed to come out here rather than just nap in the truck like Steve suggested.

"It's not that simple. There’s a lot of heartache that comes after a break up and-"

"And you want them to date too, I know, I read your diary."

"CHARLIE!" Grace cried.

"We can help!" Charlie whined.

Grace's face twisted with betrayal and anger and the need to try and explain something she didn’t understand. It felt like maths class all over again.

"Charlie... God it's just going to be easier to let you find out on your own," she groaned under her breath.

Grace glanced out to the distance where Steve was surfing across a large wave that had rolled up out of nowhere. He was no doubt being too cocky and showing off to notice that they weren't paying attention. She cleared her throat slightly.

"Listen to me, don't meddle with Danno and Uncle Steve okay? They need to work this out on their own," she said, seriously.

Charlie's face fell, devastated, "But you want them to be together too-"

"I do but-"

"We just need to find a way to force them to spend time together. They keep running away and not talking we need to make them talk!"

"How do you even-"

"I've played sims, I know what I'm talking about!"

Grace's chest squeezed as too many words tried to escape her all at once. she settled on shaking her head and explaining, "Life isn't like sims chickadee. We cant just force two people to be in good moods and make them talk."

"We can never let Uncle Steve leave again he has to marry Danno-" Charlie began stubbornly.

Grace pinched the brim of her nose and groaned softly, "Chickadee, I didn't sleep very well last night and I'm tired. We got uncle Steve right now. Lets just appreciate that and not try and getting more."

"But we could be a family again!" Charlie whined.

"We're already a family," Grace said.

"A real family," Charlie argued.

Grace's mouth fell open but no words came. The fire in her chest told her to scream _we are a real family_ , but she just couldn’t. She had no idea why, she just couldn’t. And she didn’t have time anyway because Steve was already paddling back to them and grinning like an idiot.

"How about that Charlie?!" He beamed.

Grace's wide eyed stare became firmed as she tried to telepathically warn her little brother to keep his mouth shut. If he understood he didn’t care because he turned back to Steve and instantly asked:

"Uncle Steve what's a family?"

Grace's stomach tensed as she stared. She couldn't find it in herself to do anymore. Her fingers clenched the edge of her board so tight that her knuckles were white. Steve blinked in surprise.

"A family? Its uh..." he glanced to Grace uncertainly but she was too busy searching for a wave to come and crash into them and end this whole conversation to help. Steve smacked his lips together thoughtfully. "Well its a group of people who love each other and support each other to be the best they can. Why?"

"Are we family?" Charlie tilted his head curiously.

"Well that depends. Do you love me?"

"Yes."

Charlie answered instantly but the microsecond between Steve thinking it and the words leaving his mouth was enough time for dread to set in. It was always a risky question and one he would never be fully comfortable asking even if he knew the answer. The utter satisfaction of being proved right made his eyes shine though.

"And I love you. And we're helping each other to be the best we can at surfing right now. So, yeah. We're family," Steve declared proudly.

He puffed out his chest a little and raised his chin subconsciously. For one brief moment Grace hoped that would be it. Charlie did not.

"Then will you marry-"

It was purely instinct that caused Grace to kick her leg out and knock Charlie off of his board. He didn’t fall fully. One of his legs and matching arm were still clinging to the top of the board. His head didn’t even fully go under, just his chin. But the thunder in Grace's chest had been too great to ignore and she had no other way of stopping him. Plus now the topic was dramatically switched.

Steve's hand instantly snatched onto Charlie to help hold him up and at the same time, instinctively, he scolded, "Grace!"

Grace's shoulders hit her ears as she curled back in on herself in regret. Instantly she yelped, "Muscle spasm, sorry!"

As Charlie hauled himself back up he cried, "That was on purpose!"

"Was not!" Grace lied instantly.

The entire interaction from the initial kick to the shouting match took about two seconds. Steve had to pull himself across the water surface to interrupt them just to shut them up.

"Are you okay Charlie?" He asked, calmly.

"I'm fine!" he huffed bitterly.

 _If you’re fine why are you complaining for?!_ Grace bit her tongue to keep the childish response in. She was tired and ratty and it brought out the infant in her, but that didn't mean she couldn’t fight to keep it under control. Steve gave her a soft but serious look that filled Grace with remorse.

"Grace, come on. What do you say to your brother?" He asked.

Steve stayed calm but firm. He wasn’t taking sides. He was being objective. But he and Grace both knew she was in wrong and he wasn’t about to let her get away with it.

Grace bowed her head to avoid eye contact as she grumbled, "Sorry Charlie."

Charlie huffed back at her bitterly. Steve turned his to face the boy. He kept his tone level, exactly as it had been with Grace.

"Now you Charlie."

Charlie scowled. He folded his arms up under his armpits and stared down at the water. His jaw clenched. They would have to pry it out of him. Steve raised his chin ever so slightly and let his tone become fractionally sterner.

"Charlie."

Charlie growled under his breath and let his chin fall onto his chest but he grumbled, "I forgive you..."

Grace pursed her lips. He was still sore that she'd kicked him. So sore that he had forgotten what they were talking about before. It gave her no satisfaction, but at least it had worked. Steve let out a puff of satisfaction anyway. There had been an issue, an apology, and forgiveness. As reluctant as they both were, it was over now and they could move on.

"Okay, I think it's time we started heading in anyway. I don’t know about you two but I'm starving!" He declared.

...

 _I love you Danny... I'm sorry but I do. I tried getting over it, I tried finding someone else, but... you're irreplaceable_.

The words were like fire. They spread white hot and lightning fast straight through Danny's nervous system. Had his mouth not already been dryer than the Sahara it would have run dry now.

Steve loved him.

On some level he always knew that but...

Holy fuck Steve loved him!

Steve never even told Catherine he loved her until he had already lost her and now...

What the fuck was Danny supposed to do with this information? His heart was already in pieces laying on the bottom of his ribcage after losing Harry. He had already mourned the loss of Steve. What was he supposed to do, weld his heart back together knowing how fragile it would be and just let Steve break it? No way, not a chance, he couldn't do that.

He had loved Steve. He had been in love with Steve for years. How comes it took him dating someone else for Steve to love him back?

Danny felt torn apart and empty. Really empty. He hadnt eaten anything at dinner last night and nothing since. His stomach felt like a cave. Malasadas might not be the healthiest thing in the world but at least they required no effort.

Eddie lifted his head at the sound of a bag crumpling. Danny blamed Tani. She was forever buying him treats from that dog bakery in town. Just the sound of a paper bag had him drooling now.

"This isn't for you, its mine. See, it's got my name on it!" Danny told him.

It did have his name on it. It was the first word of the message. Now that the world wasnt spinning he could read it. The full message said:

Danny, took the kids surfing so you can get some sleep. Take pills & hydrate. S.

"Get some sleep?" Danny murmured.

Some spark fired in his head and threw him right back down on the bed last night. Surrounded by darkness he could only feel three things. The alcohol sloshing in his stomach, the pent up longing in his chest, and the undeniable heat of _Steve._

Danny's eyes widened in horror as the memories played like a film in his head. A familiar sense of despair and desperation washed over him as he watched Steve slink out of the room, visibly hurt. He wanted to but he couldn't follow. His legs wouldn't work. The shame and regret were born there. He buried his head in his pillows to escape them. In the pitch black of the room the bed swallowed him up. He went out like a light.

That shame lingered in his gut now.

Eleven years he had waited for a sign that Steve could feel the same way about him. Eleven long and painful years. And when the idiot had managed to find enough comfort to open himself up, to be vulnerable, Danny tried to take advantage. To use it to mend his wounded heart.

All he had done was break Steve's.

The absolute worst part about it though had to be the fact that Eddie's ears had just perked up and Steve's truck had pulled into the drive. Danny's heart thundered. He didnt even have time to process anything because Steve and the kids were _here._

"Fuck."


End file.
